Never Far Behind
by crosscountrychick13
Summary: After rescuing a mysterious girl during a job, Sam seems to instantly bond with her, but Dean isn't sure what he feels. He doesn't trust her, but he can't seem to leave her either... Set mid-season 5.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

This was supposed to be easy. Vampires. They knew what to do, and it was a simple matter of proper planning and execution.

Literally.

But this was not turning out to be easy. In fact, it was just the opposite… The job had gotten harder every step of the way. It began when the Impala's engine didn't sound quite right, but Dean had decided they could worry about it later. It was still gnawing at his mind that he had left his baby in such condition.

When he and Sam had arrived at where they believed the vampires were nesting, they had found it guarded by human familiars. They had been quickly taken care of by a fake distraction down the road from the abandoned barn they were stationed at, but it confirmed Sam and Dean's suspicions that there were many more vampires than they originally counted. Vampires typically didn't bother with human guards unless there were more than ten or fifteen in a group.

They had heard screams not long after they pulled in. Clearly human screams, and coming from more than one person. The screams persisted as they sat in the bushes outside the barn window. The fact that there were still survivors was concerning, and would make cleaning up the scene more problematic, providing that there were still survivors at the end of the night.

Dean leaned his head closer to the window, and risked a quick glance. There were at least twenty people not tied up, and he assumed they were all vampires. He could see an older man tied by his wrists to a low-hanging beam, and a woman about the same age tied in a similar manner a few feet away. Dean couldn't see anyone else, but he guessed from the screams that there was at least one other person being held captive.

Sam pulled him quickly back down into the bushes as one of the vampires looked in their direction. "What are we going to do? We can't take on that many by ourselves."

Dean glared. "Do I look like I have a clue? I'm in the same boat as you, Sammy." He was irritated, tired, and more than anything, wanted this job to be over. "I don't think there's any way we can get those people out alive."

"I know. Just… We have to try. It's what we do." Sam sighed. "What if I cause a distraction out here, get some of them to come out, and deal with them while you go inside? You know, split them up some." Dean nodded slowly. It still wasn't ideal, or smart, but it was the best they had. Sam quickly ran off into the woods beyond, and a few moments later he heard loud crashing. He looked cautiously over the window, and came face to face with a grinning vampire, his fangs dripping with blood.

"Holy-! I hate this job!" Dean yelled as hit the thing in the face with the butt of his gun, catching it off guard. He quickly wrapped a piece of barbed wire around its neck, and pulled in opposite directions. The head made a sick squishing sound that Dean found oddly amusing as it rolled off into the bushes where he had been hiding. He hopped in the window, and found most of the vampires gone, except for a few feeding on the older couple. He shook his head. He had known they wouldn't be able to save them. Suddenly, the head of one of the feeding vampires disappeared, and splattered onto the wall behind it. He fleetingly wondered what Sam was doing back in the barn.

"You son of a bitch, get away from them!" A loud female voice cried. Dean whirled around and saw a dark-haired girl emerging from a separate room behind him. Hers must have been the third voice he and Sam had heard.

She was tall and athletic looking, wearing a black button-up shirt with the buttons cut dangerously low, and holding a very large gun. Her face was set with an indignant scowl, though there were tears streaming down her face. There was a lot of blood coming from a slash in her shirt.

"Are you ok?" Dean asked tentatively. This woman looked dangerous.

She stuck out her chin. "I just shot something, didn't I?" Suddenly her eyes widened and she shot the gun again, and Dean turned back around to see a vampire headed toward him, intent on killing him. Like the one before it, its head took on the appearance of a broken melon.

"Thanks," Dean said breathlessly. There were more vampires coming toward them from the back of the barn; he cocked his gun and held barbed wire tighter. He tried to focus solely on the creatures, but heard the girl behind him whisper _Mom_, then _Dad_ in a choked voice. He felt a pang of sympathy for her. The next instant vampires surrounded him, and he swung the gun and wire as best he could. He heard several more loud shots, and saw the girl fighting beside him. One of the vampires grabbed her gun, flung it across the room, and hit her hard in the stomach as she tried to follow where the gun went. She groaned, and hit the floor as the vampire descended on her. _Another one down, _Dean thought harshly as he removed the heads from two more bloodsuckers.

He glanced one more time at the girl as she lay bleeding on the floor. If she wasn't dead now, she would be soon. Her eyes fluttered open, and for a split second Dean saw something in her eyes he doubted he'd ever forget- though he couldn't place exactly what it was. It was something wild, uncontrollable, and unwilling to give in to anything. He quickly decapitated the last vampire in the old barn just as Sam ran in through the main door. Dean slumped down onto his heels, and looked out at the carnage that covered the floor of the barn. There had been maybe five or six, and the rest had gone after Sam. He looked like he'd emerged from a blood bath.

"Dean, we have to go, now. I only killed about four or five, and the rest are still in the woods. They'll be back here in no time." Sam said breathlessly. Dean nodded, and saw Sam's expression when he saw the dark-haired girl lying on the ground. Dean suddenly realized there had been a vampire attacking her, but he didn't remember it ever getting up and coming after him.

He saw it a few feet away, its throat slit almost all the way through. A bloody knife was in the girl's hand. He shook his head again. She had gone down fighting. He briefly wondered if she had been partially turned to have that much strength, and with that crazed look in her eyes. It didn't matter.

"Dean." Sam was looking at him expectantly. He was kneeling by the girl, his fingers to her neck. "She still has a pulse."

"So? She'll be dead before the other vampires get back. We need to leave." He gathered his gun and what was left of the wire.

Sam stared at him. "We have to take her with us. She'll die otherwise, or they could turn her."

"Yeah, if they haven't already!" Dean was frustrated. He was sick of Sam acting like they were a damn animal shelter, and could save everyone. He turned in the direction of the car.

Sam picked the girl up gently, and he thought he saw her eyes flutter for a moment. He picked up his gun and her knife, and hurried after Dean.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this."

"Dean, you know it was the right thing to do." The girl was lying in the back seat of the Impala, with a nasty wound on her stomach, along with several deep cuts on her legs.

"What if they changed her, Sam?! Did you think about that? Did you see what she did to them? What if she's a demon, Sam? A human- a girl- shouldn't be able to fight like that with no training. We know nothing about her! For all we know, she's a killer just like the rest of them!" Dean slammed his hand repeatedly against the steering wheel as he spoke. He didn't trust the girl. In his experience, if something looked dangerous, it was dangerous. Especially when it came to women.

"Dean, just give her a chance, okay? We don't know anything- she could just be a victim with a lot of skill." Sam knew as he said that it sounded ridiculous. He didn't know what else to say. He just knew that leaving the girl behind would have been a mistake.

Dean was angry. Sam was making him angrier. "What are we supposed to do with her?! We can't take her to a hospital!" Sam shrugged.

"We could take her back to the motel…" Dean felt his heart rate climbing.

"Well, aren't we just full of great ideas! How you'd think of that one, Sammy, taking a possible vampire back to the motel?" His anger was reaching a point where it was affecting his driving as well. He had to ease up on the gas pedal to stay under eighty.

"They didn't bite me," The weak voice from the back said. "They did awful things to me, but they never bit me." Sam wondered how long she's been awake.

"What's your name?" He asked gently.

"Lilly…" was the groggy reply. "Those were my parents." Sam sighed sadly.

"I'm really sorry about your parents, Lilly. Were they the only family you have here?" He hated asking questions like that.

Dean heard an indistinct sniffle, and had to choke back the urge to tell them both to shut up.

Lilly answered slowly. "They were the only family I have at all… At least anywhere near here. I don't really have any friends here either…" Her voice trailed off. "I'm sorry, but I don't know where else you could take me since apparently I can't go to a hospital. Thank you for not leaving me…" Her voice got thick and she started to cry. "I can't go back home either. They destroyed my house when they came in and took me," she explained. "If you could just get me set up healing and make sure I'm…ok, I'm sure I could find somewhere to stay," her voice trailed off, and both Sam and Dean could tell she was lying. She really did have no where to go.

"No, you can come back to our motel and we'll try to clean the wounds… Can you tell which one is the worst?" Sam asked. _He sounds really concerned, _Dean thought, a little sickened. _He acts like he cares about her already. _Dean mentally scolded himself; he realized he was being harsh and unfair. But he still didn't trust her… And she could have been bitten. Or she could be possessed. Or, worse, both. He had no idea what happened to demons bitten by vampires. He only had to assume it was not good.

Lilly was explaining to Sam that the wound on her stomach was the worst. She was using technical terms, and seemed to know what she was talking about with her injuries.

"So, uh, how do you know all this stuff about injuries?" Dean asked gruffly, glancing the rearview mirror. He held her gaze long enough to see her give him a tight smile.

"I'm a doctor. Well, I guess was is more correct. I decided I needed a break from it about two weeks ago. Listen, you all didn't happen to grab my bag on the way out did you?" Her voice sounded a little clearer, but she was still obviously in pain. "I mean, it's fine if you didn't, I just wondered because I have everything I need in it…"

Sam nodded. "Was it the black leather bag? I saw it near you and picked it up. We can't leave anything behind in case…" Dean gave him a warning look. "In case they decided to look harder for you, and there was something in it to help them." He finally finished. He knew it was a lame excuse, and he knew Lilly didn't buy it. But he also knew from her calm look that she wouldn't press the issue.

"Can I ask you guys… What were those things? Demons?" Both Sam and Dean looked at her sharply.

Dean didn't like where this was going. "How do you know about demons?" He expected her eyes to turn black, or for her to yell or make some excuse, but instead she chuckled dryly.

"I believe in God and angels; why shouldn't I believe that there are evil things out there too? You can't have light without the dark." Her eyes were serious, even in the dim light of the car.

Dean considered that. "Good point," he said as they pulled up to the motel. "Ok, look, we have to get you in here without anyone noticing. We'd get you a separate room, but that would only cause more problems." Honestly he didn't want to lose track of her, in case she went all dark-side.

Lilly nodded, tired. "That's fine," She sounded weak again, and was holding her stomach. Sam took the initiative.

"I'll carry her in while you get the stuff in the trunk. Don't be long. Oh, and get her bag, too."

Dean grunted his response. When he came in moments later, Lilly was laying on one of the beds, her stomach exposed. Sam was examining the wounds.

"You're really going to need stitches. Could you, you know…?" He gestured to her shirt, and Lilly nodded. She unbuttoned the few buttons that weren't already undone, and Dean saw Sam's eyes get the size of silver dollars. Dean couldn't help notice himself; the girl did look good. Really good. As she pulled the shirt from her arms, Dean realized it was dark green, not black. He also realized that in addition to the gruesome cut on her stomach, there was also one under her arm as well. Sam helped her pull the shirt the rest of the way off, and Dean chuckled when he saw his brother swallow hard.

Lilly drank a little of the whiskey Sam had offered as he stitched both cuts, but she still looked like she was in a lot of pain. There were obviously more cuts on her legs too, because blood was beginning to seep through her jeans in various places.

"I know this is asking a lot, but I need to take a look at those too…" Sam looked at her legs. She blushed.

"Um, that's really not a good idea." Dean cracked a smile.

"Come on, sweetheart, we've seen it all. I doubt you have anything that will surprise us." She gave him a mean look that was somehow sweet too. He found himself trusting her less.

"It's not that. Just… I'm a little self-conscious, that's all." She looked down at herself.

"Lilly, honestly, I don't know how women's minds work, and I'm not trying to make a pass at you here, but from what I've seen so far you have reason to be." There was Sam again, always trying to be the peacemaker, the one who had to always know what to say.

Lilly laughed lightly. "Well, thank you, but I don't want either of you going into shock." With that she unzipped her jeans and slid them off. Sam's mouth fell open.

Her legs were long and tan, but that wasn't the reason he was staring. Even Dean was a little shocked at minimal amount of red lace that her jeans had covered. Lilly smiled again. "Please don't think I make a habit of undressing in front of strangers." She sat back down on the bed delicately, and pointed to the worst of the cuts. "I think this one is the deepest," she said.

Sam gulped air, and Dean had to think hard before he was able to close his jaw. The cut was high up on her inner thigh, and for the first time that night, Dean envied Sam. Lilly was silent as he stitched that one as well. When he was done, she sat up, and they both saw the pain in her eyes. The laughter that was there not a few minutes ago was gone. She took one deep, shuddering breath.

"They're really dead, aren't they?"

Sam nodded solemnly.

"I can't believe it… In two days my whole life turned upside down." She started to cry. "I miss them," she said it so simply that Dean felt a slight pang of sympathy for her; he knew what it was like to lose both parents to something evil.

Lilly kept crying for close to an hour, and the two Winchesters sat silently while she did. Neither tried to comfort her, or say anything to her. At times she cried louder and harder than others, and several times she looked down at her scars or the marks on her wrists where she has been tied up. Once she said quietly, "I could have saved them," and looked pitifully at Sam. He shook his head.

Finally she quieted down and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just lose it like that… Thank you for helping me." Sam smiled.

"Lilly, you just lost your parents. No one expects you to be strong all the time."

She nodded. "Can I take a shower…? I feel so awful after being tied up for two days." Sam smiled at her again.

"Of course… I'll wash your clothes so you have something to put on tomorrow." Lilly smiled gratefully as she made her way to the shower. Dean almost whistled. The view from the back was almost as good as from the front. _Almost, _he thought, remembering the green shirt. She closed the bathroom door quietly behind her. Sam let out a huge breath of air, and put his head in his hands.

"Hey..?" It was Lilly from the bathroom. Both boys looked up as she poked her head out. "I just realized I don't know either of your names, and you've already saved my life and seen me half-naked."

Sam spoke first. "I'm Sam, and this is my brother, Dean. We'll explain more of this when you get out, okay?" Lilly smiled, and Dean noticed with a touch of sympathy that was shocking to him, that there were still tears in her eyes.

"Well, thanks, Sam. And Dean. Could you do me _one_ more favor? Then I'll owe you, I promise." Dean saw Sam shiver, probably at the prospect of what Lilly might consider a fair debt.

"Sure, what is it?"

Lilly grinned, and thrust her bra and the red lacy panties into Sam's hand. "Throw these in the wash, too."

About an hour later, Dean heard the shower shut off. "Hey, princess, we thought you drowned in there!" He yelled. He hadn't been too worried, but he had been about to tell Sam to knock and tell her to hurry up.

"Yeah, yeah; give me one darn cotton-pickin' minute!" Lilly yelled back. Dean was slightly taken aback by the country saying coming from someone he had pegged as a city girl. "Hey, Sam?" she called.

"Yeah?" He answered, looking at the bathroom door.

"One more favor?"

He looked at Dean, wide-eyed, mouthed _I can't do this, _and when Dean only laughed and mouthed back _you brought her here, dude, _he got up and walked closer to the door. "Yeah?" He asked it tentatively.

"Do you, or Dean, have a t-shirt or something I could sleep in? My clothes are in the wash, and I don't exactly have anything else…" She opened the door a crack, and steam rolled out.

"Uh, sure, I'm sure I have something," he said as looked at Dean and mouthed _I got nothing._ Dean rolled his eyes, and pulled out a dark blue shirt from his duffel.

"Here you go, princess," He said as he handed it to her through her crack in the door.

"Thanks," She said, shutting the door again. Dean walked to Sam and looked at him incredulously.

"Why don't you have anything?" Sam looked at him sheepishly.

"I put all my clothes in the wash when I put hers in… Sorry," Dean rolled his eyes again.

"Bitch."

"Jerk." Lilly walked out of the bathroom, wearing Dean's shirt and towel-drying her long hair. She raised her eyebrows.

"Sorry I missed such a charming family moment." Dean smirked.

"Well, sweetheart, seeing as how you are not part of this family, and don't understand it, I suggest you stay out of it." Sam kicked him in the ankle.

Lilly's face crumpled slightly, but she quickly regained composure, and held her hands up defensively. "Hey, sorry. Just sayin'."

"Okay, I'm sorry. But I don't like people coming around telling me how my family should work. I don't put up with that." It irritated Dean to apologize, but he had seen the hurt in her eyes. He hadn't thought about the fact that she had just lost her own family, and didn't really have one anymore.

Lilly smiled weakly. "It's okay." Dean and Sam both expected her to say more, but she didn't, and simply sat on one of the beds. She smoothed the shirt down over her legs, but it still only fell at her thigh. The edge of the cut Sam had stitched was just visible. "I'll take the floor tonight, if you all want."

Sam shook his head. "No, I'll take the floor, you sleep on the bed. You've had a crazy day, to say the least. You need to rest as best you can with those cuts." Dean wasn't surprised by Sam's offer. Sam was just kind like that, putting faith in strangers and being all self-sacrificial.

Lilly nodded and yawned. She glanced quickly at the bedside clock. It was close to midnight. Dean wondered absently how late she would be up when she flipped on the TV. He gave her a stern look.

"No chick flicks."

She smiled, and looked back at him. Dean didn't want to trust her, or let her into their lives. But those eyes… They were bright green, and weren't like the eyes of so many of the girls he'd been with before. They were sharp and intelligent, and he saw pain in them as well. He wasn't surprised, knowing a little of what she'd been through.

"I'm okay with that." He didn't expect that answer. It must have shown on his face. "After this whole thing, I don't want to see something so fake. I don't want to have to think, or be emotional. I have enough of that already." She sounded tired, and not just physically. Lilly sounded completely exhausted in every way. Dean felt another pang of sympathy.

"Look, you don't have to stay up… Go ahead and go to sleep." He offered her half a smile. Her mouth only lifted at the corners, but her eyes beamed. Dean felt a spark- something he hadn't felt in a long time, if ever. He instantly and instinctively put it out. He couldn't get involved with anyone, not seriously. It was simply out of the question. It was unfair, but out of the question.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Dean woke up quickly, thinking there had been someone screaming in his dream. He glanced at the clock- it was quarter after two. The screaming hadn't stopped. _Lilly, _he thought. She was screaming and sobbing in her sleep. Sam was waking up as Dean got out of bed and tried to wake Lilly up. She tried to hit him, and succeeded once.

"Sam, get some cold water!"

Sam ran to get the water, and Dean held her arms as she still struggled against him. She tried to push him away, and started whispering something, barely loud enough for him to hear. He leaned closer in order to hear it.

"No, please, no, not again, not again, not again!" She screamed the last part, and a moment later Sam rushed back with a glass of water and threw it at her. Her eyes flew open and she sat bolt upright. She was shaking violently, and Dean tried to hold her still. Her eyes finally focused on him, and he could have sworn he was looking into the eyes of a wild animal. He quickly let go of her and backed up, and tried to meet her eyes without looking overly alarmed.

Lilly seemed to really wake up then. Her eyes focused on Sam, and she broke down in tears. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean… I'm sorry," she repeated. Sam put his arms around her, and she let him, shivering slightly. Sam pulled her closer.

Unwillingly, Dean felt himself get jealous, watching Sam be the one to comfort her. He quickly pushed the thoughts from his mind.

"Are you okay now?" Sam asked Lilly quietly. She shrugged after a brief hesitation.

"I'll be okay, eventually. I've always had horrible nightmares."

Dean knew that Sam knew exactly what that was like… And he once again found himself jealous that Sam was always the one to help her. Another thought fought its way into his- that he had been the one who hadn't wanted her here in the first place. He tried to focus on that now as he saw her practically sitting in Sam's lap.

"I'll be fine, really… Go back to sleep, both of you. This is nothing new."

Sam looked at her stubbornly. "Lilly, after what just happened to you, you are not okay. You're far from it. It's ok… I'll stay up with you."

Dean felt useless. They didn't even need him for this conversation.

"I'm going back to bed." They didn't seem to notice that he even said it as he flopped back onto the bed. _I hate this job, _Dean thought as he drifted back to sleep.

At the sound of the alarm Dean woke up, shutting it off quickly. It was just after 9:00, and he knew they had to figure out what to do with Lilly and get moving.

He wandered toward the shower, still somewhat asleep, and half way there he almost fell over.

Sam was still in bed with Lilly.

With his arms still around her.

Dean tried to resist the urge to throw cold water on both of them. _That's it, _he thought, _this girl has to go._ "Hey!"

They both started. Lilly seemed to realize where she was sooner, and sat up quickly before looked guiltily at Dean. "Nothing happened," she said in a small voice.

"I don't care what happened! It's time to get moving!" Dean knew he was being much too loud, and probably too unreasonable, but he didn't care. This girl was going to leave, or tear him and Sam apart. He could feel it.

"Dean, what's gotten into you? It's still early; there's no hurry. We don't even have another job lined up."

Dean glared. "I don't care, Sammy. We're moving." Sam glared back in return.

"Dean? Can I have a word with you… in private?" He gave Lilly a sidelong glance.

"Sure. I would just freakin' love that."

Sam led Dean into the small kitchen of the hotel room. He glanced around to make sure Lilly wasn't in earshot.

"Dean, what has gotten into you? You never wake up early." Dean grunted.

"We need to find another job. Now. And we need to get that girl out of here before she figures out too much." Sam raised his eyebrows.

"Like she doesn't already know too much?"

"She could know more. For all she knows, we just got lucky and saved her."

Sam rolled his eyes. "We can't just leave her by herself. She might get… reckless."

Dean flung up his hands dramatically. "What do you mean, reckless! The first time I saw her she was shooting the heads off vampires with a damn assault rifle! How much more reckless can you get!"

Sam shook his head. "After you went to sleep last night, she told me more of what happened. The vampires didn't just take her off the street, they broke into her house. And they got her parents, too? It seems a little more than coincidence. She's got a serious grudge… She said she's willing to do anything to find them and make them pay for what they did to her parents. She said she has nothing left to live for."

Sam's words sent a chill through Dean. He recalled the fatal attraction he'd felt to her last night, and especially the awful fascination with that wild-eyed look. He knew what it was now. It was desperation, having nothing left, and wanting to die. He knew why he'd known it, but not recognized it.

It looked so unfamiliar outside a mirror.

"Well… I guess you're right. I hate those words! Just remember, Sammy, you're the one that brought her along; she's your responsibility." Dean shook his fist in Sam's face.

Sam grinned. "Thanks, Dean."

Dean grunted. They heard a small chuckle, and turned around. Lilly was standing, fully dressed, looking at them expectantly.

"I'm capable of being on my own, you know. I'm a big girl."

Sam moved toward her. "No, Lilly, it's not that, it's just that you could be in a lot of danger, and-"

"And, you know too much." Dean smiled sarcastically. Lilly raised her eyebrows, and gave him an icy look.

"I don't care what you all do, or what legalities you bypass. You saved my life." Her look was moving from dark to dangerous. Sam cleared his throat.

"Lilly, I know I told you last night we'd talk more. I think now would be a good time."

They sat on the two beds, Sam and Dean on one, and Lilly on the other. She crossed her legs and looked at the brothers, waiting. Dean wondered if he should start talking or if Sam should, and how much they should tell her. If she left, she needed to know as little as possible. If she stayed, she needed to know as much as she could, to be safe. They couldn't just leave her here, but they couldn't force to go with them either. And she couldn't decide if she wanted to stay or go unless she knew everything. Dean felt once again that this was not going to be easy. He glanced at Sam, and Sam nodded.

"Alright, well… We're Sam and Dean Winchester."


	4. Chapter 4

_Please let me know if there are any typos or grammatical errors… Even if they seem minor I'd like to fix them. Also, if there is anything you'd like see happen in the story, please leave a review and tell me. I'm still deciding what direction to go on a couple of things, and I'd welcome any ideas or comments. Thanks!_

* * *

Chapter Four

Lilly waited patiently. Sam seemed at a loss for words. "We… well… My brother and I…" Dean groaned.

"We hunt monsters." Dean looked straight at Lilly, and was a little shocked by how her green eyes seemed to pierce into him. She nodded.

"Like… What kind of monsters?" He was surprised she didn't laugh, but then he remembered what she'd been through the day before.

He smiled, though there was no humor in it. "Real ones, sweetheart." Sam covered his face with his hands. Lilly's face smiled, but her eyes glared back.

"Really? I thought you two grown men went running around chasing things under the bed and in the closet."

Dean fixed her with a blazing glare, but the ice in her eyes didn't even begin to melt. "Well, you know, we come across that every now and then."

Sam sat up. "You all just stop! Dean, let me talk. Lilly, we do hunt… Monsters. Ghosts, werewolves, demons, vampires, and a whole bunch of other things that you've probably never heard of." Sam sighed as he finished talking.

Lilly nodded again, looking Dean up and down in an unsettling way before turning to Sam. "How did you all start doing this..? Or, better yet, why?"

Sam's face was unreadable as he replied. "Our dad, and well, our mom too, were hunters. They searched for evil things, and killed them. Our mom was killed when we were little, and since then our dad raised us, moving from motel to motel with whatever job came along. I guess you could say it's our family business. I got back into it a few years ago, when our dad went missing, and Dean came and got me. I stuck around with him when I found out my girlfriend was killed." His voice quieted with his last sentence.

Lilly looked at Sam sympathetically. "I'm sorry… Where's your dad now?"

"He's dead." Dean said it roughly. He hated that his dad had died in a deal to save him. Sam gave him a look.

"So now you do what he did? You hunt things?" Sam nodded. "You said your parents hunted evil things, right?" Dean glared at her again.

"Yeah."

"How do you decide what's evil?"

"Well, sugar, when it kills people, we usually figure that's good enough proof." He gave her the humorless grin again.

She nodded slowly. "Okay." Sam glanced at her.

"We don't know why the vampires attacked you, but you're safe now." He smiled, and she returned it. Dean noticed that her eyes had softened.

"Alright… Well… Okay." Lilly looked down at her feet. Sam tried to catch her eyes again, and finally succeeded.

"What's wrong?"

"Well, I mean, I'm sure you all know I really don't have anywhere to go." She quickly looked up. "I'm not saying I can't find somewhere, or that I can't make some kind of arrangement, but I figured since you were honest with me… I should do the same." She looked at her feet again.

Sam smiled at her gently. "Lilly, it's okay… We're not just going to leave you here."

Dean's head popped up. _We're not?_ He didn't have any interest in staying here any longer than necessary. Damn, he hoped Sam didn't want to drag the girl along with him.

"You want to do _what_?!" Dean yelled at Sam as they stood outside the room by the Impala. Lilly was still inside. Sam sighed. They'd been at this for going on twenty minutes.

"You heard me, Dean," Sam looked at his brother. Dean was seething.

"I know, but I must have misheard you, because I thought you just said _you want to take her with us!!_" He was practically hissing.

"Dean, she doesn't have anywhere else to go! And you saw her shooting, she's got good aim, she's obviously got guts, and she's smart, Dean, I mean, like brilliant smart. She could really help us out." Sam gave him a harsh look. "I'm surprised you're not all over the idea. And her."

Dean huffed. "What? Why would I do that?! You know as well as I do that I can't have a relationship. It's too distracting, and it could get us hurt, or killed." A vision of Lilly, with her icy green eyes and red lace, popped into his mind. He shook it out as quickly as he could.

Sam was still waiting. Dean glared. "Why do you want her with us so bad, huh? You got a thing for her or something?" Sam reddened slightly.

"Well, no, it's just that- I don't know, Dean, you're just so hard to deal with sometimes and I could use someone to talk to." Dean gaped at Sam, his mouth hanging open.

"I'm- I- I'm hard to deal with?! You think _I'm _hard to deal with?? Wait till you see how hard a revenge-crazed woman is to deal with!! Trust me, Sammy, they ain't fun."

Sam sighed and gave him a hard look. "I know, Dean, but I don't feel right leaving her. And since she already knows everything, and we don't know why the vampires took her, I really think she should just come with us."

Dean's mouth still hung open. "So we can be blood-sucker bait? Good one, Sam!"

"Come on, Dean, how many times do I go along with your stupid ideas?"

"So you admit that's it's a stupid idea?"

"Probably."

"Okay." Dean cracked a smile. "Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam grinned back. "So… She can come?"

Dean groaned. "Yes, do what you want. Just don't expect to me to change anything. Or be polite, or cheerful, or do any stupid crap."

Sam nodded. "Would it do any good even if I did?"

"No."

They sat down with Lilly again. She gave Dean a small smile, and he tried to ignore it, along with the fact that she looked gorgeous. Her hair was long and wavy, and an image of pushing it back behind her ear hit him. He saw them together, and couldn't help but imagine it. He mentally smacked himself for being so sappy. When he replayed his previous thoughts, they sounded like a damn chick flick.

Sam started off. "We've decided that since you've got nowhere to go, and don't exactly have any commitments here, that you can come with us. If you want to, of course."

Lilly smiled. "I'd like that," she said in quiet voice. "Thanks." Dean had almost expected her to get all emotional. "If you don't care, before we really get going, could we stop somewhere so I can get some other clothes? I really don't think I can wear this shirt everywhere." She said with a laugh, gesturing to the missing top three buttons. Dean felt his eyes widen, and had to think fast to keep his jaw from dropping. The shirt was really low.

"Sure," Sam said. "There's a mall somewhere between here and the main highway." He shuffled around awkwardly. "Do you have money..?"

Lilly looked at him as if he'd grown two heads. "Of course I have money… My wallet was still in my purse and nothing was missing. I checked." She glanced at Dean. "I'm guessing you're okay with this?" He was a little surprised by how abrupt she was.

"Uh, yeah, it's fine," He stuttered. It was hard to form a thought under that green-eyed gaze. Dean briefly wondered how Sam did it. "Just… No doing anything… stupid." It wasn't what he'd wanted to say, but it basically covered everything. Lilly's eyebrows went up, and a smile touched the corners of her mouth, but she nodded and didn't say anything.

"I'll go put my bag in the car, then." She smiled and walked to the car. She caught the door on her way out so it didn't slam.

Dean shook his head. "Why have you managed to talk me into so many stupid things lately?" Sam laughed.

"Because, deep down, you know this is the right thing to do." Sam met his brother's eyes. "It's what Mom would have wanted us to do." Dean shrugged.

"Yeah, and Dad would have left her here and not told her a thing."

Sam's eyes flicked to the floor, and he didn't say anything. Dean clapped a hand to his shoulder.

"Come on, Tonto, let's get out of here." Sam gave him a confused look.

"Tonto?"

Dean gave him a big grin as he grabbed his duffel bag. "Yeah, you know, the Lone Ranger's sidekick? Wasn't that Tonto?" Sam looked at him blankly. "Isn't that who that is? You're the history buff, come on."

"Since when are you the Lone Ranger?" Sam asked.

Dean grinned widely. "Dude, come on, I've been to hell and back. How much more badass can you get?" Sam shook his head.

"Let's just go." Sam grabbed his bag and his laptop and headed out the door after Dean.

The three of them sat in the car in silence. Dean had the radio turned up, to irritate Sam and test Lilly. He was hoping to provoke something from her. Most women hated his taste in music. To his disappointment, she hadn't said a word about the blaring Metallica and Led Zeppelin. He even played the same song three times in a row, and still he got nothing. Maybe she just didn't want to offend him because they had saved her life and taken her along. That had to be it.

Dean pulled the Impala into the mall parking lot, and stopped in front of the door. Lilly hopped out and turned to Sam, who rolled down his window.

"I'll be an hour or less, I promise. Thanks for taking me here, by the way." She flashed a smile, and Dean thought he might die right then and there. Something about her was just so appealing, so unattainable, that it made her seem irresistible. On the other hand, he was somewhat unnerved by her and her acceptance of what they did, and also by her eyes, and the look he sometimes saw in them.

Dean snapped back to reality. Sam was talking to Lilly. "Don't worry about it, and take your time. We'll park; just find us when you're done." Lilly smiled and gave a little wave as she moved towards the door. Dean cruised around the giant parking lot, and eventually found a spot not too far from the door. He grunted and looked at Sam.

"I hate malls."

Sam chuckled. "Why?"

"It's too… normal." Sam laughed out loud.

"I'm surprised you're not enjoying the view." Sam said, motioning out the window. There were three young women, all wearing very tight clothes, walking towards the entrance of the mall. They looked exactly like Dean's type. Dean's face lit up.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I've changed my mind. I love malls." Before Sam could reply Dean had gotten out of the car and moved towards the three women.

Sam watched in amusement. He saw Dean walk up to them, and they stopped and turned around when he said something. They smiled. Dean said something else, and they laughed. Then Dean said something else again, and the smiles evaporated. The blonde in the center, whose chest Dean seemed most focused on, moved closer to him and said something which made the other two laugh. His eyes moved briefly from her pink top that left little to the imagination to meet her gaze. He tried saying something else, and the blonde turned around and walked off. The two others followed her. Dean threw his hands in the air and yelled after them, but they didn't look back. Dean stomped back to the car.

Sam smiled. "So how'd that go, Lone Ranger?"

Dean gave him a death look. "Shut up."

"What, they didn't like the narcissistic attitude, leather jacket and biker boots?"

Dean just glared. Sam laughed. "Whatever, dude."

About an hour later, Dean stopped Lilly walking towards them, carrying lots of bags. Dean groaned mentally. He had to fight off more mental images when he saw the unmistakable pink striped bag.

Lilly looked mad. She flopped into the back seat and began talking animatedly, waving her arms and ranting.

"Sorry that took so long, some blonde skank wearing a pink disco ball for a shirt wouldn't get out of the way." Sam choked back a burst of laughter, and Dean felt his face redden. Lilly didn't seem to notice. "She's going on and on to these other two girls that looked about eighteen with implants out to here-" she motioned with her hand to a spot ridiculously far away from her chest- "and they're just sitting there in line, flapping their jaws about God knows what, not caring that there are people that actually need to be somewhere!" She let out an exasperated sigh, and then looked apologetically in the mirror. "I'm done now."

Sam smiled, and glanced at Dean. "Oh, it's fine." Dean glared at him.

"Alright, Sammy, where we headed?" Sam nodded.

"Well, we said that after this we'd head to Dallas." Dean grinned.

"Dallas it is."


	5. Chapter 5

_Please review! Any ideas or comments would be welcomed. Thanks for reading!_

* * *

Chapter Five

"I'm hungry!" Lilly exclaimed from the back for the fifth time since they had left the mall. Dean was hungry too, but he didn't want to stop and let her win.

"We'll stop soon." He said, glancing in the rearview mirror. He was met with the ice cold stare of a woman who was on the edge.

"You said that thirty minutes ago." Lilly spat back. She leaned over into the front seat, and looked Dean in the eye. "I haven't eaten anything except water and bread for two days, and I want food now!" She screamed 'now' in his ear, and he flinched. So much for her being polite out of gratitude.

"Alright, alright, we'll stop, just quit yelling!" Dean said, looking at exit signs. Lilly sat back down, smiling, obviously satisfied. He saw a sign for a diner a couple miles down the road. He sighed. It was getting to be lunchtime anyway.

They parked by the diner and Lilly was half way out the door before Dean shut the car off. He looked her incredulously. "I thought women weren't big on eating," He knew as soon as it left his mouth that that had been a mistake.

"I don't care that some wafer-thin pansy-ass little _girl _somewhere in the world doesn't eat. I am not that girl, and I want something to eat!" She was stretching up on her toes, trying to make herself see eye to eye with Dean. She was dangerously close, and he could smell her perfume. He found himself leaning in closer, and quickly pulled himself back. She was standing indignantly with her hands on her hips, glaring at him. Something about the look on her face was oddly endearing.

"Okay, I'm sorry. What do you want, a salad or something?" She threw her hands in the air and stormed towards the door, muttering something about salad being the last thing she wanted.

Sam was looking at Dean, chuckling. "Dude, you really need to learn how to talk to women."

Dean gave him a look. "I do know how to talk to women."

"No, you know how to get drunk girls into bed with you. You don't know how to talk to women."

"Drunk girls are women."

"Whatever, man, but I can tell you right now that that girl in there is not some drunk chick, and she'll rip you to pieces if you talk to her like one." Sam started to walk to the door.

"That girl can't do crap to me!"

Sam turned and laughed, walking backwards as he faced Dean. He grinned. "Whatever, Lone Ranger."

Dean rolled his eyes. "So now I say one thing and you never let me live it down?" He shook his head and followed Sam.

Lilly was waiting inside the door, already in line, tapping her foot impatiently. "Could you have taken any longer?" She asked, giving them a glare that didn't really look all that angry.

Sam smiled. "Dean needed to hear something," he said, joining her in line.

"Ah." She looked over at Dean. He stood beside her and Sam and jumped in front of them when they got to the register. Behind him he could hear Lilly huff and he could picture her throwing up her arms and ranting like she had earlier, and he almost laughed. Dean felt a jab in his ribs a moment later, and turned to glare at Lilly, who raised an eyebrow and mouthed, _ladies first._ He gave her a dirty look and turned back to ordering a cheeseburger and Coke.

As soon as he had ordered he sat in a small booth near the door, and watched the people. There was an old couple sitting and talking, and a skinny kid sipping a drink and watching a nearby waitress shyly. On the other side of room was a woman with several kids sitting with her, and a man sitting next to her. They were all smiling and laughing, and Dean looked away as the man kissed the woman softly on the cheek.

For what was not the first time, Dean wondered what it would be like to have a normal family, with a wife, kids, a white picket fence. Some days he thought it would be hell, and others… He almost wished it were possible. There would be no monsters, no demons, no worrying constantly about Sam or saving the world, and there would always be someone to come home to and talk with, and not just another drunk girl in a bar. Sam was right about that; he did seem to always go for bimbos, and not sober women. He couldn't remember the last girl he'd slept with- or even talked with, who wasn't involved in a case- that he'd actually spoken to about anything important.

An image of Lilly, and hearing Sam say that she was brilliant, came to his mind. _Of course she's brilliant, _he thought, _she was a doctor._ He thought of the look on her face outside the diner, and how she'd looked. It was a feeling he wasn't used to- wanting to protect her, and not let her out of his sight, and have her be an equal, not just another one night stand in a crappy motel.

Dean shook the thoughts out of his head and sighed. It just couldn't happen. He had a job to do, and that job required no distractions or weaknesses. Sammy was enough of a weakness.

Lilly sat down quietly across from him, and tried to catch his eye. "Are you okay…?" She asked tentatively, still trying to meet his gaze. When she finally did, he was surprised that her look was one of concern and sympathy, as if his earlier remarks held no bearing at all. He gave her a quick grin, and pushed his feeling aside.

"I'm fine."

Sam sat down next to Dean, laptop in hand. "Alright, so I've been doing some research-" Dean rolled his eyes and glanced at Lilly "-and I've found something. In Dallas, there've been five missing persons cases in the last three months. All around the same age, all in the same general area, and all went missing at night." Sam turned the newspaper article he'd pulled up to Lilly, and she glanced over it as Dean spoke.

"So what is this, a spirit?" He asked. Lilly didn't comment, and listened intently.

Sam shrugged. "I really don't know. It follows the same basic pattern, but there's still other things it could be." Dean nodded.

"Alright, so when we get into Dallas we'll check it out." A pretty red-headed waitress came over to their table with a large tray, and Dean smiled broadly up at her. She smiled back briefly.

"So how are you all doing?" She asked, cheery. Dean looked at her low-cut uniform and then smiled up at her again.

"We're great; thanks," he said, losing the battle to keep his eyes on her face. The waitress just raised her eyebrows and put his cheeseburger in front of him. She handed Sam a chicken sandwich, and then picked up another plate of food that was just like Dean's. Dean was surprised when she set it in front of Lilly.

Lilly gave the waitress a big smile and was reaching for the plate before the woman had even set it down. The woman smiled again, told them to enjoy their meals, and returned to the counter, Dean's eyes following her all the way.

"Take a picture; it'll last longer." Dean looked up to see Lilly looking at him, her eyes laughing. He made a face at her and went back to eating. Sam was still searching for things on his computer, and Lilly was eating quietly, looking like she was thinking about something. She glanced up at Dean suddenly.

"Do I need some kind of, you know, weapon of anything?" She asked, picking at her french fries.

Dean was a little shocked. "What, the assault rifle you were using not good enough?"

Sam jumped in. "I didn't pick it up. I got her knife and that was it." He said, not looking up from his research. Dean sighed.

"We have plenty of guns and stuff in the car. And we never said you're helping us with the actual killing. It's too dangerous."

Lilly put on her indignant face and scowled. "I think I did okay the other night, what with being tied up for two days." She said. Dean knew she was right.

"Too bad. You need to rest anyway after all that." Her face wilted a little, but she nodded.

"Well, still, for the future, do I need something?" Lilly asked, her eyes not as angry.

Dean looked her in the eye, still confused. "What the hell could you possibly need to fight with that we don't already have?"

Lilly looked away and took a bite of her burger. "You don't have arrows." She said, setting the burger back down.

Dean was shocked. Why would she want arrows? What would she even do with an arrow? The thought that maybe she was possessed came over him again, and he wondered why he hadn't thought to douse her with holy water yet.

He looked at her again, demanding. "Lilly, explain to me why the _hell _you want arrows."

She looked at him as if he'd asked if the sky was blue. "To shoot things…?"

Dean threw up his hands, and looked at Sam. "That's why we have guns!" He exclaimed, deciding to lower his voice when several people glanced over, obviously concerned. "You know, for… hunting." He said to the people, smiling, trying to look normal. They turned away, not looking reassured.

Dean glared at Lilly. "Way to go," he hissed at her, to which she smiled back broadly.

"Guns make a whole lot of noise. And, as someone who occasionally had to work alongside police and FBI, I can tell you it's a hell of a lot harder to trace an arrow than a bullet." She said.

She did have a point- a bullet could be more easily identified to a certain gun than an arrow could to a bow, but she wasn't running the show, and Dean refused to let her. Lilly shrugged.

"It doesn't matter. Just a thought."

Dean grunted and finished his lunch. Sam stood up and laid a few dollars on the table for the waitress, and then began to walk towards the car. Dean followed him, expecting to hear Lilly behind him. He turned around when he didn't.

Lilly had stood up and was standing by the table, eyes on the couple with their kids. She was smiling ever so slightly, and her eyes had a strange, unfocused look. Dean recognized the look in her eyes as the same one that he had seen several times before, and he was unnerved by it.

"Lilly, hurry up!" He called to her, and she seemed to snap out of whatever daze she was in. She grabbed a last french fry and sip of her drink, and then followed Dean out the door, smiling at him as he held it open for her.

Dean drove in silence except for the radio, tuned to a classic rock station. Sam was asleep, and Dean had thought Lilly was too, until he glanced in the rearview mirror and caught her eye. She smiled at him, and he felt that same chilling feeling that he felt more and more when he looked in her eyes. Just when he was about to say something about her unblinking stare, she smiled again and turned to look out the window.

He had an idea. It was past time that he really tested Lilly, and made sure she wasn't possessed. He pulled the canteen of holy water from Sam's pack on the seat next to him.

"Hey, Lilly," he said, catching her eye in the mirror again. Her eyes flicked to his, and he almost shivered. Lilly's eyes were a piercing green that was somehow boiling hot and ice cold at the same time. The effect was eerie.

He handed her the canteen, and glanced between her and the road. "Taste this for me and tell me what you think."

She gave him a wary look. "What is it?"

Dean smiled to himself, and could feel the coldness of his gun near his belt. If she refused to drink it, he would have to throw it on her. If she reacted to it, he would shoot her. Plain and simple.

"Oh, it's just some whiskey I picked up on a job a couple weeks ago. I want to know what you think," he said, giving her a hard stare. Her eyes glared back.

"I don't know much about whiskey."

"Just tell me what you think."

Lilly shrugged. "Whatever," she said, taking the canteen and drinking some. As soon as it left her lips, her eyes flew to meet his in the mirror. It was the most terrifying look he had ever seen. _If looks could kill, _he thought absently.

"It's just water." Her eyes never left his.

"Sorry… Must have given you the wrong one." He gave her a tight smile.

"That's a lie. You knew it was water." Dean had never seen such a direct challenge in anyone's eyes, ever. He realized again just how dangerous this girl was.

Dean gave her an innocent look, trying to hide the fear that was growing in his mind. "No, just grabbed the wrong canteen."

Lilly pulled herself up so that her head was next to his, but her eyes never left the mirror.

"I know you lied. I can see it all over your face. I don't care why you lied, and I don't expect you and Sam to tell me everything, but the next time you lie to me, I'll grab that gun at your belt and put to your head before you can open your mouth. Are we clear?"

Dean's eyes never left hers. He nodded. _How does she know about the gun?!_ He hardly ever showed anyone the gun.

"Good." She said it quietly, and finally her eyes left his, and she returned to watching out the window. He slumped slightly in his seat, not knowing how much her unbroken stare had shaken him until her eyes had finally left his. He knew she was dangerous. He had known it from the beginning. But something about her made him think she wasn't evil, no matter how scary her eyes were. The need to protect her at all costs washed over him again. Something told him that she wasn't evil, but that she was more than just human. Dean briefly wondered if she was an angel.

That could explain why Sam was so attracted to her. Maybe she balanced out the demon blood in him. Dean shook his head. He was shooting in the dark, and he knew it. Maybe her eyes had messed with his mind. It didn't matter. All he knew was that he needed to keep an eye on her, and never let her out of his sight.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

They arrived at a motel about an hour later, and they were still a couple hours outside of Dallas. Dean pulled the Impala into a parking space and sighed. This was one of the moments when he felt utterly sick of crappy motels.

Sam was still sound asleep in the passenger seat. Lilly had dozed off, and was resting her head on the window. Dean sighed again. He was still a little shaken from his encounter with Lilly, and made a point to talk to Bobby about her.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty, wake up," Dean said, smacking Sam lightly. Sam sat up quickly, mumbling in a sleep-induced stupor. "You too, princess," he said, shaking Lilly gently.

Lilly sat upright instantly, and Dean saw the terrifying look in her eyes again. She obviously didn't like being startled. The bright green eyes watched him for a minute with a mix of fire and ice, then calmed. She smiled and stretched, then began to gather up her bags.

Dean slapped the top of the car to tell her to hurry up, then moved towards the door to the reception area. He smiled at the woman behind the desk.

"One room, please." He glanced around the lobby quickly; it looked like every other one they had seen. What little decoration was present was tacky and out of date. Dean sighed again.

The woman smiled. "Sure thing, dear," she said, "One bed or two?"

Dean looked wearily out the door at Sam and Lilly. "Two." She smiled as she handed him a key.

He thanked her and then hurried out the door. Sam was standing by the door of the car, holding his laptop and his and Dean's duffel bags, waiting for Lilly to get the last of her shopping bags.

Lilly's eyes lingered on the Impala as she shut the door. Dean ushered them towards the room they'd been given- room 318. He shut the door behind the three of them and flicked on the light. It was a standard crappy-motel room. It was decorated in a similar way to the lobby.

Sam threw his duffel on one of the beds, turned to Dean. "I'm gonna take a shower. I'll be out in a little bit and we can talk more about the case," he said, moving towards the bathroom.

"Alright," Dean called after him. He picked his bag up from where Sam had set it on the floor and set it on the other bed. Lilly was standing over the table, her back to him, as she pulled things from various shopping bags and moved them into a duffel bag. Dean felt his knees go a little weak when he saw what she pulled from the shopping bag with pink stripes.

Dean found himself thinking of what might happen if Sam wasn't there, if Lilly were just another girl from a bar or a club, and if she hadn't threatened to kill him earlier. He wished he knew more about her, and that he had been the one to talk to her, not Sam.

"Dean?" Lilly's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked up her. She had a worried expression on her face, and her eyes didn't look dangerous anymore.

"Yeah?"

She twisted her hair around her finger, and Dean instantly wished she would stop. He looked away briefly. "Can we talk?"

Dean nodded, still not meeting her eyes. "Sure."

She sat down on the bed and motioned for him to sit next to her. He did it without a second thought. "I just wanted to say… I'm sorry… for earlier. I didn't mean to sound so harsh, it's just that, well, I don't know you any better than you know me. I've learned that you have to… Well, it's not important. But you still saved my life, so I guess I should be a little more trusting." She smiled a little when she finished talking, her hands folded in her lap. Dean pushed away the urge to reach for one of her hands.

"I guess I was expecting you to be…" he searched for the right word, "more than what you seem, maybe, I don't know. But me and Sam, we've lived around supernatural things, evil things, our whole lives and we never know when something can catch us off guard- anything can happen."

Lilly nodded. "What happened?" she asked quietly.

Dean was confused. "What do you mean, what happened?" Lilly looked down at her feet.

"It's hard to explain, really… there's just something about your face and your eyes, that makes me think something horrible happened to you. To Sam, too," she raised her eyes to meet his, and the look was back. It wasn't as strong, though, and to Dean it didn't look terrifying anymore. He felt like she could see everything about him, and he had no way to stop her. His head started to swim, and he saw flashes of everything he'd ever been through- losing his mom, losing his dad, losing Sam and giving up his own life to save him, hell- his mind stopped and lingered. The torture, the pain, all the demons, saying no everyday until finally it was too much. Dean lost all ability to form a thought, and was hit with image after image of hell, then coming back and facing angels. He couldn't stop the torrent of images that repeatedly hit him over and over.

"Dean!" Lilly's voice pulled him back to reality. A headache hit him like a freight train, and he immediately stood up. All the feelings of wanting to tell Lilly everything shut off.

"What did you do?" He demanded, holding his head in his hands. The headache was subsiding already, but it was still pounding and he felt his eyes burn with everything he'd just replayed in mind.

Lilly threw her hands up, looking at him. "I didn't do anything; you just went into a trance or something!"

Dean glared. "What are you?" Lilly glared back.

"You don't honestly think that I'm one of the monsters you hunt, do you?! You're being ridiculous; listen to yourself!" She yelled. Dean shook his head and stormed out the door.

He walked quickly threw the parking lot, and onto a sidewalk. He was angry- he didn't know what he was angry at, or why, but he didn't care. He just kept walking.

Dean heard a rustling noise. He groaned inwardly and stopped abruptly. There was only one thing that made that sort of noise. He turned around quickly.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel said.

"What do you want, Cas?" Dean glared at the angel. This was the last thing he needed.

"You seem to need guidance. I came here to offer some."

Dean rolled his eyes. "I don't need your help." He turned back around and started to walk the other direction. He jumped when Castiel appeared in front of him.

"The incident with the girl says otherwise."

Dean glared. "What do you know about her?"

Castiel shrugged. "I know that what just happened to you had nothing to do with her." Dean grunted.

"Yeah, I'm sure. What was it, then?" Castiel sat on a bench a few feet away, and Dean joined him.

Castiel sighed. "Hell will do that to a person, Dean."

Dean put his head in his hands. "What is she?"

"For now, it makes no difference." Castiel said as he crossed one leg over the other. "All you need to worry about is keeping her safe from… Human dangers. She's more than capable of protecting herself from anything else."

Dean worried about what that meant. "Is she evil?" He asked, looking up at Castiel.

The angel glanced up at the sky, studying it. "That's like asking if you're evil, or if Sam is evil. You both have the potential, but you hold it at bay with your actions."

Dean hated answers like that. "You know what I mean." Castiel looked at him, and Dean felt a chill that he always felt when looking at an angel.

"No."

"No, she's not evil or no, you don't know what I mean?"

"No, she is not evil."

Dean sighed with relief. "Do you know what she is?"

Castiel smiled. "Yes, I know what she is."

"Is she human?" Dean asked.

"Yes. But that's not the only thing she is." Castiel replied. Dean knew he wouldn't get Cas to tell him anything else. He stood up, about to ask if there was anything else he needed to know about her, but Castiel was gone.

Dean walked back to motel, thinking. He didn't know what Castiel meant by human wasn't the only thing Lilly was, or that he had to protect her from humans but not anything else. He hated not knowing, and feeling so helpless. He thought about his trance, as Lilly had called it, in the motel. If he was completely honest with himself, similar things had happened to him ever since Castiel had pulled him back from hell. Castiel was right; hell did that to a person.

Lilly must have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. That had to be it. Dean didn't trust most angels, but he trusted Castiel, and Castiel said she wasn't evil. Dean himself didn't think she was evil, but she did scare him. He had to talk to Bobby about her, and find out what she was.

He opened the door quietly and peeked in. He saw Sam sitting on the bed, pouring over his laptop.

"Hey, where's Lilly?" He asked, rubbing a hand over his face. Sam opened his mouth to answer, but then Lilly popped up beside him. She had been laying facedown on the bed, and her eyes were obviously red. Her hair was in braid, and she was wearing sweat pants and a tank top. Dean couldn't help but notice that even like this, she was beautiful.

_What is wrong with me…_ he thought, wondering why she didn't have the same effect beautiful women usually had on him. Usually, it was pretty simple- pick a girl up from a bar, go back to the motel, do their thing, and then on to the next town. No morning-after talking, no chick-flick worthy dialogue. Not with Lilly.

Lilly was looking at him with a sad puppy dog face, and he wanted to kick himself. He had been an ass, and now this girl who had just lost her family and been thrown into his horrifying world was crying because of it. His eyes dropped to the floor.

"Lilly, I'm sorry," Dean said, his eyes never leaving the floor. "I shouldn't blame you for what's happened to me," he finished, glancing up. Lilly's eyes still had that puppy dog look, but she was sitting up and wiping at her tears. Sam, however, was openly gaping at Dean.

Sam started to open his mouth, but then when Dean shot him a look he closed it again. He looked at Lilly. "Are we okay…?"

Lilly looked at her feet and nodded. Dean walked across the room and sat next to her, and then put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, snuggling closer. He could feel her heartbeat speed up. He squeezed her shoulder, then grinned. She gave him one of her dazzling smiles in return. Dean felt as if he would die to see that smile.

Sam cleared his throat and Dean stood up. Lilly flopped back down on the bed and began flipping channels on the TV.

"Hey," Dean said sternly, "Still no chick flicks."

Lilly smiled again. "No promises this time." Dean rolled his eyes. Sam nodded with his head towards his laptop. Dean took the hint and peered over his shoulder.

"So what'd you find?" Dean asked, looking over the missing person flyer.

Sam shrugged. "Not much," he said, clicking on different link, "Nothing new anyway." Dean nodded.

"Well, what do we have now?"

"All the victims were the same age, went missing around the same area, and went missing at night. That's literally it." Sam said, turning to look at his brother.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Sounds like a spirit,"

"Probably. So we'll check it out tomorrow, I guess."

_Two days later_

Dean sat with his back against a gravestone. In one hand he had a bag of rock salt; in the other he had a lighter. A shotgun was lying beside him.

He jumped when he heard a loud crash and yell. _That would be Sam, _he thought. This plan was ridiculous. Sam and Lilly had come up with it. Dean hated it.

Sam would distract the spirit first, by doing God knows what. Then Lilly would distract it- this was the part Dean hated. His jaw had dropped when she told him she would run, _run, _to keep its attention on her. He tried to tell her that there was no way she could outrun a spirit that didn't even need to use its legs, but she had laughed lightly and used the excuse that she was fast; she'd been a runner in high school and college. Dean had seen a cocky challenge in her eyes, and he knew that his saying she couldn't had only made her want to more.

Dean thought again, as he had when they first discussed the plan, about what Castiel had said. _She's more than capable of protecting herself from anything else._ He still didn't want to test it.

Something dark ran past him, creating a cool breeze in the warm air. June in Dallas was hot.

Dean thought it was the spirit, but then he saw the shape weaving in and out of headstones, long hair flying. Lilly hadn't been lying- she was fast. The spirit kept popping up in front of her, but she always managed to turn at the last second and lead it in a new direction. Dean took his chance and ran for the grave that he and Sam had dug up a few hours before. He tossed the salt into the grave and flicked the lighter in after it. Just as the lighter was hitting the bones, the spirit appeared beside him, the face of the dead man right next to his. He tried to reach for his gun, but the spirit moved to his other side before he could, and it lashed out and caught his arm. Suddenly Lilly was racing towards him, her breathing still steady, and she placed herself between Dean and the spirit, skidding to a stop. The spirit reached for her throat but was engulfed in flames, then disappeared before it could get there.

That was what Dean thought at first.

He saw the spirit reaching for Lilly's throat. He saw Lilly's eyes flash, even in the dark, then saw- and heard- the spirit howl in pain. Then it was destroyed in the fire, and he couldn't tell whether it had been his imagination.

Lilly doubled over, and placed her hands on her knees. She was wearing running shorts and sneakers, her long legs illuminated by the fire that was still burning the bones in the casket. Dean wanted to reach out and touch her, but stopped himself. Instead he patted her back as she straightened up. She sighed deeply, and he could feel her racing heart.

"I can't remember the last time I ran that fast," she admitted, laughing. Dean smiled at her.

"You did good," he said. Sam was walking towards them, with a cut on his forehead. He was panting. Dean looked into the grave. The bones were completely gone, and the fire was starting to go out.

"Let's go," he said. The other two nodded.

They drove in silence back to the motel. Lilly was curled up in the back seat, and Sam was dabbing at his forehead with a napkin. Dean's arm was bleeding from where the spirit had cut him.

Dean parked the car and cut the engine. Sam got out of the car and hurried in, trying not to make any noise. Lilly didn't move from the back.

"Time to wake up, princess," he said softly. In his head, calling Lilly 'princess' had stopped being an insult somewhere between when she had threatened to shoot with his own gun, and now. Lilly still didn't move, and he gently lifted her in his arms and carried her to their room. She nestled her head closer into his chest. He opened the door with his foot, and laid her on the bed.

Lilly tried to stay curled up against him. "Mmh," she sighed as he set her down. He had to fight the urge to kiss her. As he straightened up, he ran his hand over her leg gently. A picture he didn't need to see again- he had trouble keeping similar images out of his head lately- came to mind, and he moved his hand away.

Sam was in the bathroom, splashing water on his face. He glanced at Dean in the mirror, and turned.

"So our idiotic plan worked out okay," he said, smiling. Dean nodded, smiling himself.

"Hey, did you see the spirit at all? Like, around Lilly?" Dean asked, trying to sound casual.

Sam shrugged. "Probably, but I didn't pay much attention. Why?"

"No reason."

Dean now thought he knew what Castiel meant. He knew why Lilly had been able to kill the vampires the first night he met her, and why they hadn't just killed her like they had killed her parents. He knew why she'd been able to outrun a spirit. He definitely knew that he seen exactly what he thought he had at the cemetery, and why it had happened. Castiel was right- Lilly certainly could protect herself.

The spirits couldn't touch her.


	7. Chapter 7

_Please continue to review! Any feedback or comments are appreciated._

* * *

Chapter Seven

Dean wandered around the room aimlessly. It was almost four in the morning, and Dean couldn't sleep. Ever since he'd had the realization about Lilly, he couldn't get his mind off it.

Lilly and Sam had gone to sleep about an hour ago. Sam had crawled into bed right after he'd come out of the bathroom, and a few minutes later Lilly had gotten up, looking still half-asleep, and changed then went back to bed.

She didn't seem any different than usual the few minutes she'd been awake. Dean had watched her move around out of the corner of his eye, and nothing seemed unusual. It was still chilling to think that Lilly might be almost invincible against anything evil. He still wondered what she _was._ He had never heard of anything that could do that, except angels. He didn't think she was an angel.

Dean grabbed a pen and wrote on a napkin _call Bobby_, and then lay down on the empty bed. Glancing over at Lilly, he was realized she looked like she was sleeping peacefully. Sam had slept with her again the night before when she had woken up screaming. As before, her eyes had that empty look that was so horrifying.

He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Lilly's smile and long legs danced before his eyes, and he smiled to himself. Eventually he drifted off into an uneasy sleep, Lilly's face always just around the corner.

_Dean walked down the deserted street. It was empty, not a person in sight. He walked for what seemed like hours, but he never seemed to get anywhere. There were several fires along the sides of the street, and as he walked farther, he began to see bodies. Some had been burned by the fires, others looked starved, some beaten, some torn to pieces. Weapons were scattered about the street and sidewalks. Cars were crashed, with the drivers slumped against the steering wheels. Dean could only think that the apocalypse had come once again._

_ One body was close to the middle of the road where he was walking. It was a man, and his eyes were still open. Dean started when he saw that the man's eyes looked exactly like Lilly's did when she woke up from a nightmare, or when she stared Dean down. His eyes were empty, a toxic combination of fire and ice, and even though he was clearly dead, his eyes seemed to still be alive. They seemed to follow Dean, and he hurried on to escape them._

_ Along the street, the sidewalks, and in the cars and buildings Dean saw more and more bodies, all of them with their eyes open, all of them possessing the same terrifying look the first man had had._

_ All of a sudden, Dean heard screaming up ahead. He ran towards it. He saw a woman running back and forth across the street. She looked as if she'd gone insane._

_ She saw Dean and raced to him, grabbing his jacket._

_ "The dreamwalker!" She screamed. Her eyes, too, had the same eerie effect._

_ Dean seized her shoulders and held her still. "What's a dreamwalker?"_

_ The woman sobbed into him, and just shuddered. "The dreamwalker; she did this," Dean tried to ask again who the dreamwalker was. The woman looked over her shoulders, and pressed a finger to her lips. "She's listening," The woman whispered to Dean. "She can hear everything. No matter where you are, what you think, she can hear you. She's always listening," _

_ Dean didn't know what the woman meant. "Where is she now?"_

_ The woman whirled around and gasped, and then turned back to Dean, sobbing again._

_ "She's coming! Oh, she's coming, no, not again!" The woman began to run in the direction Dean had come, still screaming._

_ "Wait!" Dean called after her. The woman stopped and looked over her shoulder, and once again put a finger to her lips._

_ "Don't let her touch you," the woman whispered. He saw her eyes widen, and then she gasped and fell to her knees. Dean saw her hair turn white, and her eyes clouded over, taking to the appearance of the dead people's eyes he'd seen. The woman fell over, dead._

_ Dean turned back to face whatever was coming down the street. He heard drums in the distance, and began to see something on the horizon-_

With a start, Dean woke up. He shook his head to clear the nightmare. It was the worst he'd had in a while.

He shook his head again, and glanced at the clock. Almost 11:00.

Dean rubbed his eyes before glancing around the room. There was no sign of Sam or Lilly, and he felt worry begin to rise in his stomach. He got up and looked around on the nightstands, and finally saw a note on the small desk across the room.

_Went to get some food; you were sound asleep and we didn't want to wake you. We're bringing you back something, should be back around 11:00. Sleep well, Lilly_

He threw the note back down on the table and flopped on the bed. They would be back any minute. A thought struck him, and he groaned loudly.

Sam better not have let Lilly drive the car.

Dean stood back up, and wandered aimlessly around the motel room. Seeing Sam's laptop, he sat at the desk and flipped it open. On a whim, he pulled up the internet and looked up 'dreamwalkers'.

He didn't find anything of interest. All that popped up was information about mystics, and healers, and doctors who supposedly cured nightmares.

The curiosity of what that meant still itched at him. He was about to call Bobby when the door swung open.

Sam and Lilly sauntered in, laughing, and carrying bags of food. Much to Dean's disappointment, the keys dangled from Lilly's hand. Sam, of course, wouldn't have known that such a thing would matter.

Dean stepped back from the desk, and took Lilly in. She was wearing a strappy brown shirt and denim shorts; he was struck, for what had to be the hundredth time since meeting her, by how her muscles flexed whenever she moved, and how her lean body looked no matter what she was wearing.

She had pulled her hair back, and was about to let it down but before she did Dean caught a glimpse of a tattoo on her back.

"Wait," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. He felt her tense up. "What's that tattoo?"

Lilly sighed, and then smiled. "Oh, that." She pulled her hair over her shoulder, and indicating to the ink on her shoulder blade. "It's just something I got a while back."

Dean grew suspicious. The tattoo was what looked like a wolf's paw print inside a crescent moon. He had never seen anything like it, and wondered what it meant.

"What's it mean?"

Lilly shrugged. "I don't think anything," she replied. Dean cast a glance at Sam, whose brow was furrowed. Sam met his eyes, and shrugged.

Lilly turned to face them. "Is it a problem?" she said, a challenge coming to her eyes.

"No," Dean said, "I just wondered what it was." Lilly seemed satisfied with that answer, and dug into the bag of food. She tossed something wrapped in foil to Dean, who caught it easily. He smelled bacon.

"You're my new favorite person," he mumbled through a mouthful of the cheeseburger. Lilly beamed, and thrust a cup in his direction. "What's this?" Dean managed to say in between bites.

Lilly smiled again, sheepishly. "Well, you kinda seemed like a chocolate guy," Dean smiled broadly, and sipped on the milkshake.

"Guess we did the right thing keeping her around, right, Sam?" Dean said, elbowing his brother. Lilly smiled at them both, but Dean thought he saw something else flash in her eyes. Before he could tell what it was, it was gone.

Sam just chuckled and shook his head. "Sure," he said. Dean could tell he enjoyed having Lilly with them; he could also tell Sam was as attracted to her as he was himself.

The next day, Dean and Lilly were sitting in the public library, doing research. Sam was back at hotel room, pouring over books.

They had gotten a call from Bobby, telling them that he thought there was a demon in town, one city over from where they were. Dean hadn't asked him about dreamwalkers, or Lilly.

Bobby told them some men had died in the past couple weeks. It was very similar to the last case, except Bobby told them about the recent signs of demonic possessions, and all the victims were men. Dean assumed it was a demon with some serious man-hating issues. Six men were already dead.

Lilly watched Dean in silence for the first half hour, learning what to do. She asked a few questions now and then, but caught on pretty quickly what they were looking for. Dean was impressed. She really was as smart as Sam had said.

"Hey, Dean," she said softly, not wanting to disturb the other patrons. He looked up her, and met her eyes. As usual, they were unflinchingly dangerous. "I found something."

Dean turned his attention to the pictures she was holding, and Sam's laptop. According to Sam, Lilly had recently installed all kinds of new things on it that could help them in the future.

That morning Sam and Dean had gone to the police station, as FBI Agents Angus and Tyler, which Lilly had gotten a kick out of. She'd come along as their forensic scientist, Dr. Monroe, at Sam's suggestion. Personally, Dean thought Lilly could kick Marilyn Monroe's ass in every way. She was mind-blowing in the skirt, low-cut jacket and heels she'd worn. Even the police chief, who she spoken with, had had trouble keeping his eyes where they belonged, and they had gotten everything they had asked for. Or, rather, everything Lilly had asked for.

Dean turned his attention back to the photos, and struggled to remove the image of Lilly in a skirt and heels from his mind. It did nothing constructive.

"Yeah. What is it?"

Lilly tapped her finger on a spot in the first photo- the victim's hand, sprawled out from where he'd hit the concrete. All the victims appeared to have been thrown repeatedly to the ground until they died of blunt trauma.

"Look at this… See that little mark? I looked at the picture on the laptop, and rotated the angle, and it's a tattoo or stamp. I'm going with stamp since the other five men all have it, too. Always on the left hand."

She was right, Dean noted. He flipped through all the photos of the different men, and all had the same stamp on the left hand. The design was a circle with a dot in the center, and was obviously a logo for some bar or club. When Dean read the name of the place, he reddened with the realization of what the design was supposed to be.

"Well, I guess we're looking for a, um, a…. Well, you know… A…" He could feel his face flush, and was surprised at his own embarrassment.

"Strip club."

"Yes."

"You could have just said it. I don't consider myself delicate." Lilly's eyes searched his, and he got the feeling once again that she could see into his soul.

"I know, just, you know…" He stuttered again under her intense gaze.

"I'm afraid I don't know." Her brazenness was beginning to irritate him, especially giving his sudden lack thereof. Why did she make him act like he was a teenager again? Honestly, even as a teenager he had never been like this.

She ran a hand through her hair. "I'll look up the place and we can go there tomorrow night." She said as she began to type rapidly.

Dean looked her incredulously. "Wait, we?"

Lilly gazed at him as if he were a not-so-bright child. "Yes. We."

He searched for words, lost. "But… You can't go in there." Lilly laughed, and took off the hoodie she'd changed into after the morning. Dean panicked for a moment, forgetting all rationality and wondering if she was wearing anything underneath. _Of course she is, idiot, what are you, twelve?!_ His mind hissed at him.

Lilly continued. "Why can't I go in?" Dean looked at his feet, then back up.

"Do you really want to see women dancing on poles, with basically no clothes?" he demanded.

Lilly shrugged. "I don't care. To see the look on Sam's face just might be worth it," she said, cracking a grin.

Dean couldn't argue there. Sam had an overactive conscience. He noticed Lilly's shirt- it was a navy t-shirt, and had a Boston logo on it.

"So, uh, you like Boston?" Dean asked.

Lilly frowned, then glanced at her shirt and understood. "Love them. Anything 80's rock, I love it."

Dean's heart almost stopped. She was gorgeous, and loved classic rock? Damn, she had to be perfect.

"I found the place." Lilly said, startling him out of his thoughts. She vaguely gestured to a very explicitly detailed website, and cringed slightly at a pop-up ad. She quickly exited it.

Dean found himself fixated on the page, and then sat up quickly when he remembered Lilly was with him. He leaned back in chair. "Well, it looks pretty… Standard."

Lilly smirked. "You're the expert." Dean was about to nod and agree that he was, but he caught her meaning and glanced over, irritated. Her gaze swept coolly over him, and he saw a twinkle of humor in her eyes before she turned back to the computer.

"Yeah, well, I'm not the one who knew the stamp," he grumbled. Lilly smiled absently as she wrote down an address.

"I think we have all we need for now," she said, softly.

Dean nodded. "Let's go." Lilly snapped the laptop closed and gathered up the pictures they had brought with them.

Dean slapped Sam on the back and grinned. "I think we need to come here more often," he slurred as he set down the shot he'd just gulped. Sam cringed.

It was a general run-of-mill strip club, and they'd seen nothing out of the ordinary so far. Sam had found a spot close to the stage, and Dean had immediately run off to get drinks. He come back dragging a scantily- clothed waitress in toe.

"This is Jenny," he'd announced. Sam had politely smiled and turned his gaze elsewhere.

Lilly had elected to stay behind, saying she didn't want to see women degrade themselves. She'd promised to Dean to stay in the motel room, unmoving, but had whispered to Sam before he made it out the door that she might go for a run.

Sam couldn't help but be fascinated by her. She was beautiful, brilliant, and undeniably strong, both mentally and physically. The first night she'd been with them, he'd talked to her at length about her job, her life, and her recent loss. Since then, she seemed to have adapted well and had really helped them with the spirit. She didn't seem to be afraid of anything.

He somewhat understood why Dean was so afraid of her- though his brother would never admit it, that was what it boiled down to. Dean was wary of smart, attractive women, probably with good reason. He suspected Dean also didn't want another situation as there had been with Ruby.

"Hey, Sammy, loosen up and have some fun!" Dean called happily. Sam grinned and shook his head. Jenny had left a while ago.

"Have you seen anything yet?" Sam yelled over the din of the music. Dean smiled up at one of the women on stage and pulled some money from his wallet. Sam rolled his eyes.

Dean turned to him, still grinning. "Nothing you'd want to know about," he said, elbowing Sam in the ribs.

A man in the corner of the room caught Sam's eye. He was dressed in a suit and tie, and had a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Sam guessed he was the owner.

Turning to Dean, Sam tapped him on the shoulder and yelled that he was going to get some air. Dean waved him off without turning around, having found another waitress to bother.

Sam marched purposefully in the direction of the man. The man's eyebrows rose when Sam reached him.

"What can I do for you?" The man asked smoothly, straightening his tie. Sam pulled out his fake badge and did his best to look intimidating.

"Agent Tyler, FBI. We're here because of the recent deaths." The man shook his head and gestured into the air.

"Oh, that. Terrible, it really is. Accidents happen, I suppose." He said, eyeing the other customers. Sam put himself between the man and a good view of anyone else.

"We don't think they're accidents." He gave the man a hard look.

"Well, what do you think, then? A murderer, maybe?" His eyebrows came up again. "I would hate to think someone is killing my customers."

Sam shrugged. "We're not sure yet. The investigation is still on-going, so please call if anything comes up?" He flicked a card into the man's hand.

The man smiled at him, and Sam didn't like the sleazy appearance he seemed to put off. "Oh, I'll be sure to," With that he turned and walked off into the crowd.

Sam wandered back to where Dean had been. He heard the end of Dean's conversation with a third waitress, this one looking less sure of herself than the two before her. Sam paused a few feet away, letting Dean finish talking.

"Listen, Denise, why don't we get out of here, and go somewhere…" Dean trailed off as searched for a word. He took a swig from his drink while he thought.

Denise's eyes went wide, and she leaned in closer. "… Else?" she said. Sam didn't think she looked very bright. A smile lit Dean's face, and he slung an arm over her shoulders.

"Exactly," he told her. He caught sight of Sam. "Sammy! This is Denise. We were about to go somewhere-"

"-else." She finished for him, beaming. Sam gave her a small smile, and then looked at Dean.

"Come on, Dean, it's time to go," he said. Dean gave him a pouty look. "Now." Sam said, inclining his head to the door. Dean grunted and grudgingly said goodbye to Denise.

Sam drove home in silence, trying to ignore Dean's loud snoring. He hoped Lilly was there when they got back, and not out running somewhere. It would be hard to explain to Dean, even to a drunk Dean, why she wasn't there.

Dean's drunken mind slurred through the past day, trying to establish connections. He was tired, and had sat in the passenger seat fairly willingly when Sam told him to. His tired brain slowly drifted off to sleep.

_Dean's dream replayed exactly as it had the last time. He felt frustration because he knew he had been through it all before, but he still had no answers. Once again, he caught the screaming woman running down the street, with the terrifying look in her eyes- the look he saw in Lilly's eyes daily. Once again, she told him that 'the dreamwalker' had done all this. Once again, he got no answers to his repeated questions._

_ He heard drums in the distance, and walked down the street in the direction the woman had come. He saw more bodies, all of them again with the cloudy-eyed expression. He stopped when he saw a lone figure standing in the middle of street ahead of him._

_ The figure's back was turned. He was wearing a tan trench coat._

_ Dean rushed toward him. Castiel was looking down at the body of what Dean guessed was another angel. He had been under the impression that nothing except another angel could kill one._

_ Castiel looked up. "You have to be very careful, Dean," he said gravely. Dean nodded._

_ "What happened?" He asked urgently. Castiel sighed._

_ "The dreamwalkers have been loosed." _

_ Dean glowered at him. "What does that mean?" Castiel met his eyes._

_ "Exactly what it sounds like." Dean was about to protest, but Castiel stopped him with a raised hand. "You must be very careful. If one touches you with their power, you have no hope left." With that, Castiel disappeared, leaving only the echoing sound of wings._


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"You want me to do _what?_" Lilly asked incredulously. Sam shuffled his feet and Dean nodded, wincing when the movement caused his head to pound again. As much as he hated to admit it, he shouldn't have been drinking so much the night before.

"Come on, Lilly, it's just one night, that's all we need." Dean said as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, trying to ease the headache.

Lilly was shaking her head. "No way. This is _not _going to happen. Sam, talk some sense into him! I'm not doing this!"

Sam shrugged sheepishly. "We kinda need your help on this one, Lilly," he said, avoiding meeting her eyes. Dean couldn't blame him. He himself had tried a few minutes ago, and found himself face to face with lightning in human form.

"Damn it, Lilly, please? You said you wanted to help. This is your way to help." Dean said, looking anywhere in the room but at Lilly. She grabbed his chin in one hand and spun his face toward hers. It really hurt his head, and he flinched at the look in her eyes. She had a hand on her hip, and glared up and him defiantly. "What?" Dean managed to mumble from where her hand was pinching his mouth shut.

"Dean. Sam. I want to help you; I really do. But you _cannot _expect me to be a damn stripper for a night! Is that really what you all are saying?" She yelled. Dean wasn't as worried as he had been the night she threatened to shoot him, but he was still moderately worried.

"Well, uh, yeah," he said, still not able to sound completely normal.

Lilly growled under her breath, throwing her arms up in the air, storming across the small motel room. She paced back to them, where Dean was rubbing his temples and Sam was studying his shoes. She shook a finger in Dean's face.

"One night. That's _it. _And you two owe me for this." She glared at both of them.

Dean grunted. "What do you want?" Lilly smiled.

"I get to drive for a week."

"_Hell no._" Dean felt protectiveness flare up inside him as he thought of being in the passenger seat.

Lilly smiled again. "Fine then. One of you can be the stripper." Sam gave Dean a look, and he knew Sam thought he was being stupid. He probably was.

"Fine." Lilly started to open her mouth. "But I still get to pick the music."

Snatching the keys from him, Lilly smiled in a self-satisfied way. "I thought the rule was driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole."

Sam tried to stifle a laugh.

Dean stood, sputtering. "But-but… That's not fair! It's my car!" He yelled. Lilly jingled the keys in front of his face.

"Sorry, _sweetheart, _but if I'm driving, it's my rules."

* * *

Sam and Dean sat outside the club, waiting on Lilly. They had planned that Lilly would go in, pretending to want a job, and with luck she would be able to corner the manager while Sam and Dean got there with rock salt and Ruby's knife. She had a cell phone stashed somewhere, and was supposed to call at some point with an update.

"I think we need to go check on her," Sam said, checking his watch. "She's been in there a while."

Lilly had been inside for over an hour; Dean had hoped it wouldn't take this long. He was getting a little nervous himself, but he didn't show it to Sam.

"Nah, she's fine. Maybe she's preaching to the others girls about they have other option," he said with a roll of his eyes, quoting Lilly from the night before. Just then his cell phone rang, and Dean sighed with relief when he saw it was Lilly.

"What is taking you so long?!" He demanded. He heard loud music in the background, as well as some yelling.

_"Hey, shut up, I'm doing you all a favor." _Lilly said.

Dean sighed. "Okay, fine. Lilly, would you please tell me what's taking so long?"

_"That's better." _Dean could hear the smile in her voice. _"Well, I got a job. It's going… Well." _

"What's that mean?" Sam's eyebrows raised and he mouthed _what's going on,_ and Dean shrugged in reply.

_"It means I hate you. Get in here." _With that, Lilly hung up.

Dean nodded at Sam. "Let's go."

"What's going on? Is Lilly okay?" Dean shrugged again and hurried across the parking lot.

He threw the door open and scanned the room quickly.

"Oh, crap…" Sam said from behind him. Dean shot him a glance, and then followed his eyes. He seconded the notion with several expletives.

Lilly hopped down from the stage area to talk to a man who clearly giving her lots of attention. She smiled and touched his arm as he whispered something in her ear. She laughed.

Apparently the manager had given her a job.

She locked eyes with Dean and gave him a murderous glare. The man she was talking to said something else, and she laughed, but motioned with her head for Dean and Sam to come over. When the guy turned his back, Lilly glared again and mouthed _now._

Dean sauntered over, trying to look like he was just another patron in the place, but a final glare from Lilly hurried him up. The man she'd been talking to looked him up and down and raised his eyebrows.

"Hey, buddy, I think you need to take a walk," Dean said. The man started to say something and took a step forward, but Lilly put a hand on his chest.

"Just give me a minute, will you? He's an old friend of mine," she said smoothly.

The man huffed and walked off. Lilly turned on Dean.

"I hate you." She spat at him, her eyes on fire. Dean looked away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know they'd put you out here right away, okay? Have you talked to the guy?"

Lilly sighed and nodded. "I think you all are right. There's something off about him."

"Okay, well, go talk to him, and we'll follow you in a few minutes."

Lilly nodded and hurried towards the back, but then turned back to Dean. "His… Office, I guess you'd call it, is the third door on the left."

"Thanks." She walked quickly away, getting several whistles from a nearby table. Dean wanted to punch all of them in the face. He looked at Sam. "You heard all that?"

"Yeah," Sam said. "We've got everything, right?"

Dean grinned. "Let's go kill the son of a bitch."

They went in the direction Lilly had gone, and found the third door on the left. Dean pressed his ear up against the door, and heard Lilly talking on the other side. He nodded at Sam, who pulled a can of spray paint from his pocket and quickly drew a devil's trap on the floor. When he was done, he looked up at Dean, who was waiting for him to finish. Dean kicked in the door.

Lilly jumped slightly, and the manager's eyes went black. Sam slammed the door behind Dean and poured a line of salt across the doorframe. That was when Dean suddenly slammed up against the wall.

He struggled to get a breath. He saw Lilly's hand fly to her mouth, her eyes wide, and he heard Sam yell _Dean, _but he sounded far away…. He fought off the blackness at the edge of his vision and drew a deep breath. The demon was talking, its eyes solid black.

"So, Sam and Dean Winchester, hmm? Sam finally off the demon blood kick?" It asked, smiling. Dean saw Lilly's eyes widen in question. He struggled to get another breath, and found himself unable to speak.

Sam tried to sneak up on it, and he had Ruby's knife. Dean wanted to scream at him, tell him to hurry, but he couldn't make himself draw in enough air. Before he could realize what happened, his brother was on the wall next to him.

"Sam-" Dean managed to yell before he felt his windpipe being crushed. Lilly gasped.

"No, don't hurt them!" She looked terrified. The demon turned to face her, leaving Sam and Dean fighting against an invisible hold.

"Oh, you know them, do you?" It gave her an eerie smile. It moved towards her.

"Don't touch her!" Dean yelled, gasping with the effort of breathing. The demon's smile widened.

"Is this your little girlfriend, Dean? How sweet." It took another step towards Lilly. "Maybe I'll let you watch her suffer."

Dean was terrified for Lilly. He hated himself for not being able to break away and protect her, even if it meant sacrificing himself. He didn't care. He stared at Lilly, wanting to scream at her to run, knowing how scared she had to be.

All the terror that had plagued her face seconds before drained away. It had been replaced with a deadly calm. The demon stepped closer to her still, and her face didn't change. It flicked its wrist, clearing trying to throw her up against a wall like it had done to Sam and Dean.

Nothing happened.

Lilly took a step towards the demon. It stared at her with black eyes, glaring, obviously alarmed because it couldn't touch her. _Oh God I was right how is she doing this what is she??_ Dean's mind raced. A scream ripped through the air, and for one second time seemed to stand still, and nothing seemed to move. Everything was still and silent.

Then it all came crashing down like a clap of thunder, and Dean saw Lilly's hand choking the demon as it screamed. It was nothing like anything Dean had ever seen before. Whatever could make a demon scream like that was enough to give even Dean cold chills.

Lilly turned towards them, her fist still crushing the demon's throat with seemingly no effort, and Dean would have dropped to his knees had he not been pinned to the wall. Lilly's eyes were terrifying, and they looked to be moving in a murky sort of way, swimming with shadows. Dean suddenly remembered his dreams. The eyes of the dead people looked exactly like that.

With the exception of hell, Dean had never been more terrified in his life.

"Run," Lilly said, and Dean wanted to shout that he couldn't, he was stuck, but suddenly he wasn't and his legs were running for the door. He saw more than felt Sam dragging him to the door. He turned for a last glance at Lilly, not wanting to leave her to be killed by a demon. He had en eerie feeling she would be the one doing the killing.

Her eyes were locked on the demon's. It was still screaming for all it was worth.

Lilly released her grip for one moment, and the demon tried to speak. It gasped for breath, and Dean caught the few words that chilled him to the bone.

"You're crossing the line, dreamwalker."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Dean ran. He tried desperately to forget what he'd just heard, and tell himself it was his imagination. He couldn't. He knew what he'd seen, and the words replayed over and over in his head.

_You're crossing the line, dreamwalker._

Dean didn't know what the hell that meant, and he didn't want to. Remembering the dreams, he shuddered. It was all too much.

He and Sam reached the Impala and stopped, panting. They didn't know what they were supposed to do- a feeling they were both unfamiliar with. Dean felt sick with worry about what was happening to Lilly.

The ground shook slightly, and Dean heard what sounded like distant thunder.

Panicked, he looked at Sam. Sam just stared back. They both turned towards the club, looking for any sign of a commotion. There wasn't any.

As soon as Dean was about to go back inside, Lilly strode out the door, her heels clicking on the pavement. Dean heaved a sigh of relief. Lilly's face was completely calm and she didn't look the least bit hurried or scared, or out of breath.

"What happened?" Dean demanded as soon as she was close enough, laying a hand on her should.

Her eyes met his, and he still saw sparks flying. "I took care of it," was all she said.

Dean started to throw his hands in the air and demand that she tell him what the hell that meant, what had happened, and how, but a look from Sam stopped him. Lilly looked up at him, and Dean saw something there that was seductive and adoring at the same time. It was hard to resist moving his eyes over her body, with his hands following.

He managed to tear himself away and opened the door to the car. Lilly put her foot in his way.

"Don't you belong somewhere else?" She asked, a grin playing at the corners of her mouth. Dean groaned and shoved the keys into her hand. "Thank you," She said with a smile. Dean grunted. Lilly slid into the driver's seat and Dean felt his eyes narrow as she started the engine and ran a hand over steering wheel and dashboard. She turned to face him. "Nice car," she said, her eyes sparkling.

"Yeah, thanks. You hurt her, or do anything I don't like, you're dead. Understand?" Dean said, fixing her with a glare. Lilly just smiled back.

"Perfectly," She flipped on the radio and settled on Springsteen. She glanced at Dean, who nodded in approval. With that, Lilly backed up the car, and sped out of the parking lot.

* * *

They arrived back at their motel late, and Lilly came into the room and flopped on the bed.

"Ugh! I'm never doing anything like this, ever again." She said, looking at Dean from where she was laying on her back. Dean quickly looked away.

"Well, uh, yeah, I can't blame you," He replied. He grinned. "I can't say I hated the outfit, though," He gestured to the high heels and lack of much else, aside from where she'd pulled on shorts.

Lilly laughed and threw a shirt at him, and Dean caught it, throwing it back. Sam walked in the door, and his gaze bounced back and forth between Dean and Lilly.

"I'm gonna go grab something to eat… Do you all want anything?" He asked. Dean shook his head.

Lilly shook her head as well. "Thanks, though." She added. Sam shut the door quietly behind him.

Lilly sat up on the bed, and fixed her eyes on Dean. He saw the same look he'd seen earlier outside the club, except with a whole lot more desire in it. She smiled. Dean walked towards her, feeling like he couldn't have changed where he was going even if he wanted to.

"So," Lilly said quietly. Dean reached her just as she stood up. He didn't even think about what he was doing as he pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened and Lilly ran her hands over his chest, pressing herself to him. Dean moved them back to the bed, and laid her down. His head was racing with all the mental images he'd had over the past few days.

Lilly's hands were still wandering over his chest, and she sighed when Dean kissed down her neck and shoulders.

_You're crossing the line, dreamwalker._

Dean heard it so loudly and clearly he could have sworn someone had said it out loud.

He sat up quickly, and pulled out the gun at his belt. Lilly's face twisted in confusion, but she didn't flinch away.

"What are you?" Dean couldn't ignore what he saw any longer. He knew without a doubt he'd heard those words in the club, and he couldn't imagine what could kill a demon without anything else. Dean somehow doubted Lilly knew anything about exorcisms. With a chill, he realized she probably didn't have to.

"What are you? What happened back there?" Dean demanded, the gun leveled at Lilly. She glared at him.

"Dean, just calm down… Put the gun down. We'll talk about this," she said, her hands spread in a gesture of surrender.

Dean pointed the gun at her, his eyebrows raised. He was scared, but knew better than to show it. "You've got till three to tell me what's going on."

Lilly sighed. "Dammit, Dean, would you settle down? Come on, put the gun down-"

"One."

"Dean, please."

"Two."

"Dean…"

Dean flicked off the safety, and steeled himself for what he needed to do. He tried to ignore the slight rustling sound in the background.

_Damn._

"Dean, stop." Castiel said, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder. "We need to talk."

"So talk," Dean said dryly as he stood outside with Castiel. Lilly had been all too happy to excuse them.

Castiel sighed. "Dean, she won't hurt you. She's probably the best protection you could have," he said, glancing at the door to the room.

Dean glared. "Then why can't I know what she is? She just killed a demon with her bare hands, Cas, and it couldn't do anything to her. What am I supposed to think?"

"She killed a demon?"

"Yeah."

"I was hoping to avoid this." Castiel was beginning to look worried.

"What the hell is going on, Cas?" Dean's eyes narrowed. The angel sighed again and looked at his feet for a moment.

"There is prophecy involved. Depending on which path comes to pass, Lilly could be harmless, or…" Castiel trailed off.

Dean wasn't liking how this sounded. "Or what?"

"Or she could be more dangerous than anything we've ever seen before."

Dean didn't know what to say.

"Have you been having dreams?" Castiel asked, catching Dean off guard.

"Why?"

"Please, Dean, it's important."

"Well, yeah."

Castiel rubbed a hand over his face. "This is not good." _Great,_ Dean thought.

"Why?" Dean asked. Castiel looked at him evenly.

"It means she's much more powerful than we originally anticipated." Castiel sat on a bench and crossed his legs. He looked absently up into the night sky.

Dean was bewildered. "You mean she's causing me to have dreams?" He asked, dumbfounded.

Castiel shrugged. "Possibly. It could just be the influence of being around her."

Dean sat next to Castiel and slouched down, his head in his hands. "The demon called her 'dreamwalker'." He said. Castiel nodded.

"That would be right. I suspect it would be able to tell what she is once its own power won't work on her."

Dean had never heard of anything like it. He wished he still hadn't. "Any advice?"

Castiel laid a hand on his shoulder. "Just be careful, Dean." He said. He started to get up, then turned back to Dean. "And don't shoot her."

* * *

"Hey, Bobby, it's Dean." Dean said wearily into the phone. Bobby's voice was good to hear, even if he was calling on business.

_"Dammit, boy, what are you doing calling me in the middle of damn night?" _Bobby said, his voice crackly because of the distance.

Dean shook his head, laughing a little at Bobby's usual irritability. "Sorry, but I got a question. I need you to look into something for me," Dean said.

He heard Bobby sigh loudly on the other end. _"And it couldn't have waited until morning? Idgit." _ Another sigh. _"Well, what is it?"_

"I need to know everything you know about something called a dreamwalker."

Silence.

"You there, Bobby?"

Bobby's voice was quiet and deadly serious. _"Boy, don't you tell me you're tangled up with a dreamwalker."_

It was Dean's turn to sigh. "Just… What do you know? And why have I never heard of them?"

_"I don't know much. I always thought they were sort of a legend, because supposedly there hasn't been one in centuries. I never really believed that they actually existed, or if they did, I thought they were all long gone. Like I said, I don't know much, but from what I've read, you do _not _want to be anywhere near one."_

That wasn't the answer Dean was looking for.

"Well, tell me what you know."

_"Alright, hold on a second."_ Dean waited, idly playing with a string on his shirt. He could hear Bobby moving around, and felt bad for waking the man up.

_"Okay, before I get into what they are, I need to tell you this. You still there?"_

"Yeah. Okay."

_"I'm reading some old book with some information on them, but first it explains something about the human mind. Basically, it says that when a person is conscious, their actions and what they do are limited by their mind and by the boundaries of reality. But when a person is unconscious, or asleep, they don't have any of these boundaries. That's why people have such crazy dreams sometimes. So say if a witch, or a demon, or anything with supernatural powers is asleep, in theory their powers or whatever the hell they have could slip through those cracks in reality, because subconsciously the mind doesn't have many limitations like it does consciously. You with me so far?"_

Dean was lost. "Sure."

_"Alright, well, I know you're not, and I'm really not either, but that's the gist of it. So say something- or someone- had a grip on those boundaries, and could bend a person's perception of reality enough that they couldn't really tell the difference between what's real and what's not, then that thing or person has control over whatever that person can do."_

"Okay?"

_"That's what a dreamwalker does."_

"You're kidding."

_"Son, I wish I was."_

Dean sighed, kicking the bench he was standing near. "So they make people crazy? And make them do whatever they want?"

Bobby coughed. _"Well, yeah. Whoever they've touched with their power sees them in their dreams. They can be sound asleep and be in terrible pain, or even die, from what these dreamwalkers can do to them."_

A light bulb went on in Dean's head. "Like Freddy Krueger?"

_"I guess so, yeah."_

"Alright, Bobby, thanks." Dean got ready to hang up the phone.

_"Dammit, boy, aren't you gonna tell me why the hell you need to know this?"_

Dean made a split second decision. "I read about it doing research," He said. He hung up before Bobby could say any more.

He walked back to the motel room, angry that at Lilly, and at himself. Angry at Lilly for not being honest with them to begin with, and angry at himself for letting her get so close- Sam could have been put in danger. Dean would die before letting Sam get hurt.

Sam glanced up as Dean threw open the door. Lilly was sitting on the bed, her eyes red. Sam was sitting next to her. Dean slammed the door behind him and glared at both of them.

"You!" Lilly flinched and met his eyes. His anger melted at seeing her broken face, but he didn't show it. "If you try to hurt my brother, I will kill you. If you try to hurt me, I will kill you. If you do anything that makes me think you're going to do either of those, dammit, I don't care was Cas says, I will kill you. Do you understand?"

With a sorrowful look, Lilly nodded.

"And you." Dean rounded on Sam. "Do you know?"

Sam started to stand. "Yeah, Dean, look, I think we should just-"

Dean threw his hands up and glared. "I don't care, Sammy! She's staying because Cas told me to watch her, and that's it. Don't think for a second I'll take my eyes off her, or let her help with a case ever again." Sam started to open his mouth again. "I'm done, Sammy!"

Dean started to storm towards the bathroom to shower, but Lilly stopped him.

"Dean, please…" She said, her voice thick, fresh tears coursing down her face.

Dean looked her in the eye, and glared. "No. I'm done." He stormed the rest of the way to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

He heard Lilly crying outside as he turned on the water, and felt a pang of guilt. He wondered in the back of his mind if there was any he could be with her, and pushed the thought away hastily. There was no way. She was just something else for them to hunt.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Dean tried not to think about Lilly. He watched her like a hawk, but never let himself really see her. He tried to ignore the desperate looks she shot him, and the way she was quick to cry or yell. He'd pulled the gun on her three more times since the first time last month.

Sam had tried to confront him and tell him he was being too harsh, but Dean wouldn't listen. It didn't matter. Dean steeled himself for being around her and not having anything to do with her. It didn't matter that every day he felt a stronger pull of emotion towards her, or that thoughts of her and that night last month- and what might have happened- flashed through his mind every day. To keep his mind off of Lilly, Dean threw himself completely into hunting, drinking, and other women.

_September_

Lilly stopped being emotional somewhere between the fourth time Dean pointed the gun at her, and the first time he kicked her and Sam out of the motel room in favor of a blonde from a bar. Lilly completely shut off, as if someone had flipped a switch on her. She hardly ever said a word, and didn't complain when Dean yelled at her before they went out on a job. She stayed in the room without comment.

It hurt her to look at Dean- she couldn't believe she'd been so stupid. After hearing what the two brothers did for a living, she should have known they would never accept her. Especially not Dean. She could sense something about Sam, and knew that he could do things that Dean couldn't. But Sam wasn't the one she wanted.

Lilly chastised herself over and over for becoming this crazy over a man she barely knew, but she couldn't help it. She could see part of what Dean was going through- without any supernatural abilities. He was broken and wounded and wouldn't show any of it, but it was so easy to see once you looked past the biker boots and loud-mouth attitude. When she woke up from nightmares and didn't wake Sam or Dean, she had often sat up in bed, listening to the two of them. Sam almost always slept peacefully, occasionally tossing and turning. His dreams weren't often unpleasant, she knew.

Dean's dreams, on the other hand- Dean's dreams were terrifying. Lilly had cried more than once with the pain of seeing what he'd been through, and even though she had hoped over and over that he hadn't really suffered this, she knew he had. Several times she had tried to break the nightmares, and sometimes it worked. The downside was she had to see them herself.

It was a price she was willing to pay, because whenever Dean woke up from a dream-free sleep, seeing him happy and, for the moment, at least, peaceful was one of the few things that made her happy.

Her abilities confused even her sometimes; she didn't think she'd ever know the full extent. But she knew what Sam and Dean knew, and they didn't even know the half of it. Lilly knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if they knew everything she did about what she could do, even Sam would probably shoot her in a heartbeat.

What hurt her the most was that she'd never intentionally hurt someone for no reason- she'd defended herself, sure, but was that any different than the Winchesters on a hunt? Anything else she did with her abilities was strictly for good use, or just curiosity. For example, when she got into Dean's head, she never left a trace, and he never knew she was there. Except in his dreams. She knew about Dean's dreams about her, and knew that they terrified him. She hated that she repulsed him so much.

Lilly had only been curious the first time she looked into Dean Winchester's mind, and had seen only a small amount of what she knew was there. The things he kept buried under layers of cynicism, booze, and women were the things she couldn't get to, not without using her full power.

She knew she could easily get into someone's head and read their thoughts, and it was even easier to do when the person was sleeping, and she could see their dreams as well. She also knew that if she used her full power, she could control everything a person said or did, or even kill them by just thinking it. Lilly liked to think she had very good control of herself, and she did. Based on some history she'd read and research she'd done, she knew that ancient dreamwalkers were tyrants that conquered whole nations with their abilities, and almost couldn't help but use their powers on everyone. Lilly wasn't like that- while it was incredibly easy for her to use her abilities, she could just as easily not use them.

But Dean would never understand. From his thoughts, his dreams, and even his actions she saw without any abilities, she knew he'd never understand, or care about her.

Lilly wasn't even sure why she wanted him so much. It wasn't like she knew him well. But he'd saved her life, and she wanted so desperately to help him with his inner demons. She wanted to save him in return.

Sam was comforting, and still treated her fairly. When Dean was around, he was quieter and more reserved, but when it was just the two of them, she and Sam talked for hours and got along well. Probably because they had so much in common. Sam had often listened when she cried about her parents, her past life, or about Dean being cruel. Although she'd never said it out loud, she was sure Sam knew about her feelings for his brother.

Lilly didn't want to say it for several reasons- first, she had it in her mind that Sam would laugh at her and tell her it was useless, even though she knew he wouldn't. Second, she could tell Sam had feelings for her. It wasn't just the fact that she'd seen his dreams and his thoughts; it was obvious from how he acted. Sam really was nice- he genuinely listened and cared when she was upset, always seeming to know when say something and when to just let her cry and yell. And it wasn't as if he wasn't attractive.

But something in her mind pulled her to Dean.

Even when he yelled at her, threatened her, and openly hit on other women, she couldn't make herself hate him, or be any less attracted to him. The farther away he seemed to get, the more Lilly seemed to want him.

Lilly guessed that eventually, she'd move on, but so far she hadn't even come close. She wished Dean could see into her mind like she could see into his.

_October_

Dean fought off all the urges to talk to Lilly, or to give in and scoop her up when he heard her crying at night. He replaced all of that with thoughts of her hurting Sam. He told himself it was a possibility, and that alone made him stick to his guns and try his best to hate her.

Every day he threw himself into his work and other women, but whenever he was with someone else, he couldn't help but imagine it was Lilly.

He didn't even know why he wanted her… He barely knew her. She was practically something that should be on their list of things to hunt down and kill. Hell, she could be worse, for all they knew.

But something- besides Castiel- told him she wasn't.

Lilly tried to ignore the glares Dean gave her when he caught her watching him absently in the review mirror. She knew better than to think too hard when he was in the motel room with someone else. When that happened, she sat in the car with Sam and tried not to let him see her tears.

_November_

Dean finally started to let Lilly out of motel room unsupervised. She felt like such a child, but knew better than to say anything. She went outside often and ran her heart out, even in the cold and rain. It gave her something to wear her out and make her feel better. Running was a pastime she'd always enjoyed, and she used it now as a coping method.

Lilly was beginning to see why she was so attracted to Dean. He was a protector; she'd always felt like no one would protect her because she'd always been the strong one. Ever since she'd been out of high school, things had been after her, and she'd always managed to defend herself, sleeping with one eye open and watching with eyes in the back of her head. One of the advantages of her abilities was that she was basically immune to anything supernatural- almost nothing could kill her, or even touch her. But all the same, she had eliminated every threat she'd come in contact with. She figured the world was better off without such things, and often wondered if she was one of those things.

She felt so safe with Dean. With him in the room, she slept soundly, except for nightmares. But she never worried something would come after her.

Lilly could also that somewhere, deep down, Dean was really a caring person. She wanted to unlock that part of him, and be the object of that caring and affection.

But she knew better than to get her hopes up too high.

_December_

Lilly awoke with a start, gasping with the pain and agony of another nightmare. This one was Dean's; one she'd managed to take from him when had woken up earlier to find him tossing and turning. Her body and mind ached with the pain of what Dean had been through. Her heart broke thinking about it.

She lay back down in bed quietly, trying not to wake Sam. They had been sleeping in the same bed for quite a while now, and while everyone knew nothing ever happened, she knew Dean wasn't happy about it. She and Sam had both decided that since Dean wouldn't let Lilly have her own room, they may as well both be comfortable. And Lilly couldn't tell herself that it wasn't nice to have Sam, so warm and strong, next to her when she woke up from terrible dreams.

Burying her head in the pillow, she pushed herself as close to Sam as she felt she could without crossing the line. To her surprise, in his sleep his arm curled around her and pulled her closer. She smiled to herself when she saw what his dreams were- they were nothing but innocent affection. Sighing with contentment, Lilly laid her head against his chest and listened to the sound of his heart until she finally went back to sleep.

Dean woke up early the next morning, and scowled when he saw Sam and Lilly curled up in bed. He knew Sam had it bad for her, but still it hurt him every time he woke up first and saw them. For one night, he wished he could be in his brother's place.

Sam and Dean worked all day on a case involving a demon, and Lilly helped Sam when Dean left to get something to eat.

"Hey, Sam?" Lilly said softly. Sam's head snapped up.

"Yeah?" He searched her eyes, and saw the beginnings of tears.

She stuttered as the tears started to fall. "I just wanted to say... Say thank you. For everything… You've helped me through this so much. I don't know what I would have done without you." Lilly broke down on the last word.

"Oh, Lilly," Sam whispered, going over to where she sat on the bed. He sat beside her and wrapped her up in his arms, holding her head to his shoulder. She cried into this shirt, clutching at him as she tried to forget everything that had been going wrong in her life.

Their embrace was broken apart when Dean came storming through the door. He pulled his gun from his belt and pointed it at Lilly as Sam jumped up.

"I swear, if you move a friggin' muscle, I'll kill you!" Dean yelled.

Lilly sighed. She was used to outbursts like this one by now. "What did I do now, Dean?" She asked softly, not meeting his eyes or standing up.

Dean lowered the gun slightly but kept his eyes glued on Lilly. "I had a nice little chat with the demon, that's what! They told me there's a bounty on your head and it's the biggest thing going on downstairs since I got pulled up from the pit!" He roared, glaring at Lilly. Sam stared, open-mouthed.

Anger flashed through Lilly's eyes, but she tried not to show it. "Dean, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?!" Dean through his hands in the air. "Most of hell wants you and you're _sorry?"_ Lilly sighed, exasperated.

"Yes, I'm sorry, okay?! I'm sorry you two didn't just leave me to be killed by the vampires."

Sam stepped forward. "Lilly, come on, you don't mean that…"

"Yes I do!" She snapped. "It would have made your lives a whole lot easier, that's for sure. And mine would have been less painful." Tears coursed down her face, and neither Winchester was sure if they were tears of anger or sadness.

Dean stepped towards her, glaring. "Fine. If you want to go so bad, go. But if you ever step over the line with anything, we'll find you, and kill you." The deadly certainty in his eyes let Lilly know he was serious.

"Okay," Lilly said. She gathered her bags quietly and deliberately. When she was done, she turned to Sam. "Bye, Sam," She said softly, touching his arm. She just flicked her eyes to Dean, and fixed her iron glare on him for the last time. Without another word, Lilly turned and walked out the door.

Though his brother didn't notice, Dean's heart felt as though it split in two with the slam of the door.


	11. Chapter 11

_Thanks so much for all the great reviews… Keep them coming!! Also, if you have ANY input on where I should take the story, I'd love to hear it. I haven't made up my mind completely on where I want to go with this, and any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!_

Chapter Eleven

For the next week, Dean was uncharacteristically silent. He didn't make his usual smart-ass comments to everything, and those seven days were fairly uneventful. He woke up a week later feeling blank and distant.

Dean tried all day to cover up the pain of Lilly leaving. Whenever Sam wasn't asking him questions or trying to talk to him, Dean wondered if Lilly was thinking of him as much as he was thinking of her.

_ Of course she's not… _Dean told himself. _I was an ass. She probably hates me._ He sighed. The day couldn't be over soon enough.

He went to sleep thinking of Lilly, and woke up several times in the night. His nightmares were horrible, moreso than usual- he hadn't realized how well he'd been sleeping since Lilly had been with them.

The next morning Dean found himself going through the motions. He went to get breakfast, he made plans with Sam to check out the case later that evening, and he drove around town in the Impala. He did anything and everything to keep his mind off Lilly, and where she might be.

_What danger she might be in._

Castiel's warning jumped into his mind- _keep her safe from human dangers._ Dean felt almost sick with worry, but pushed it out of his mind, telling himself they were better off without her anyway.

* * *

After talking it over with Sam, Dean agreed to check out a park where the demon was hunting and killing people. Dean thought it was odd that it was staying in one place, but what demons did wasn't his concern. His concern was killing them.

They made sure they had plenty of rock salt, and everything else they needed. Their plan was to catch the demon in a devil's trap, and exorcise it as quickly as possible. They quickly realized that this was not going to go according to plan.

As soon as they arrived, they could tell there was a demon around. Street lights flickered, the Impala's radio buzzed on and off with static, and the air seemed almost alive with electricity. They saw the demon a few moments later.

It was possessing the body of a little girl, with brown hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a blue frilly dress.

"I gotta tell you, Sammy, I am seriously creeped out by demons possessing kids," Dean muttered. He hated that the little girl would probably die.

Sam nodded. "I'll work on setting up the devil's trap," He said, as he jogged farther into the park. Dean stood by a tree, watching, his eyes searching for the demon. He didn't care if it was a little girl- he'd shoot it on sight. Over the years, the hardness of the job and the lifestyle had taught him that one life wasn't worth dozens of others.

A movement caught his eye- a flash to his right. He cocked his gun, and prepared to fire.

Dean was shocked when a blast from his left threw his against the tree. The demon approached him, laughing. The black eyes and the slightly out-of-body voice terrified him more than he could ever tell, but he glared and tried to fight his way out of the hold.

"Hey, Dean," the demon said. He didn't recognize it.

"Go back to hell," Dean hissed, from where his throat was constricted. He didn't like being thrown back into things and strangled, and it was happening too often.

The demon laughed. "No thanks, I like it up here." It smiled coyly at him. "Where's your little girlfriend?"

Dean bit his tongue and glared.

"Oh, she's not here? Did you let her out of her cage, finally?" It paced in front of him, occasionally flicking a wrist or a finger, causing him to cry out. "Too bad. I'd have liked to take a crack at her… Seems like all of hell thinks she's untouchable! Is that true, Dean?"

Dean coughed and didn't answer. _Where the hell is Sam?!_

"What, you don't know, or you won't say? _Everyone_ wants a piece of her, Dean. If anyone gets their hands on her, well, she'll be our next sporting event. Whoever can break her gets the glory."

Dean felt sick. He saw something out of the corner of his eye, and prayed it was Sam.

"Poor dreamwalker… She's the first in thousands of years, you know. There's a few from back then that haven't died off yet, but none nearly as powerful as her. They're a dying breed, Dean." The demon sliced at his stomach, and Dean gasped. "If you only knew…" It chuckled.

"Knew what?" Dean gasped, almost choking.

"Oh, nothing serious. Just that quite a few of us are curious… Well, it's not important." It glared at him. "You've got other things to worry about."

Just as it started to cut into Dean's stomach again, he saw movement, and almost cried with relief that Sam was finally there.

Except it wasn't Sam.

Dean watched transfixed as Lilly hit the demon head on, seizing it by the throat as she had the one in the club. The demon screamed at her touch, crying and begging her to stop. Dean couldn't see that she was doing anything to it, but its eyes held a tormented look that told him otherwise.

There was a shock through the air, like soundless thunder. The demon's eyes went from being black to a murky grey, swimming with darker shapes. It continued to scream, even after Lilly let it go. Finally, the black smoke rose from the little girl's mouth. Lilly seemed to draw it up and out with a finger, and when her hand fell, the smoke disappeared completely.

Dean fell to the ground and gasped for air. He looked up at Lilly, dumbfounded, as she stared at the body of the little girl. Her chest heaved slightly, and her eyes held the wild look that they'd had when he first saw her. Dean had never been happier to see her.

"How… What…?" Dean stuttered, still catching his breath. "Why?"

Lilly ignored the first two questions and offered him a hand up. "You saved me, I saved you." Her eyes were distrustful, and Dean felt a pang of regret.

"Look, Lilly, I'm sorry-" He tried to begin.

"Fine." She said, turning away from him. "I'll go get Sam."

Dean stopped. "Where the hell was he?" He demanded. Lilly kept walking, but glanced over her shoulder.

"I told him to stay where he was. This could have gotten… Messy."

Dean didn't ask for elaboration.

Sam was waiting for them, pacing under a street light. He rushed towards them when he saw them coming. "Oh, thank God," he said. "I thought I made a big mistake leaving you out there." Dean grunted. Lilly gave Sam a sharp glance. "No offense," He added.

Dean sagged down onto the sidewalk. "Whoa, come on," Lilly said softly, hooking her arms under his armpits and hoisting him back up. She glanced at the bleeding wound on his stomach. "You need that stitched up," she said.

Sam took the initiative. "Come on, Dean, let's get back to the car." Lilly glanced around awkwardly.

Dean lifted his head to look at Lilly. "Well, are you gonna just stand there?" Lilly's eyes brightened. "Don't think I'm not still going to watch you. I still don't know what you are. But that angel you met, he told me to keep an eye on you, and I can't do that if you're somewhere else."

Glancing briefly at the ground, Lilly nodded. When she looked up, the vaguest hints of a smile played at the corners of her mouth.

Dean didn't even crack a smile, and even though he was worried about himself and Sam being in the proximity of something so terrifying, he felt a little better knowing Lilly was with them.

* * *

They arrived back at the motel later than Dean would have liked, but they had stopped at Lilly's motel to get her bags and check her out. She plopped her bags on the bed and started to go through the Winchester's first aid kit. Dean lay down on the bed, exhausted, and looked around. His vision was a little blurry, and his stomach throbbed.

Lilly found a needle, thread, and alcohol and sat down gingerly next to Dean.

"Shirt off," she said.

Dean grinned. "You could buy me dinner first," he mumbled. Lilly laughed and helped him pull it over his shoulders. She gently dabbed the cut with alcohol, and Dean flinched slightly. She put her other hand on his chest; Dean wasn't sure if it was for balance or not.

Humming softly, Lilly stitched the cut quickly, giving Dean a sip of whiskey before giving him his shirt back. Smiling, she patted his chest.

"All better," she said. Dean grinned.

"Thanks." He flopped back on the bed. Sam snapped his laptop closed from the table in the room and stood up.

"I'm gonna run to the vending machine… Lilly, wanna come with me?" he asked. "Dean, you want anything?"

"Sure," Lilly replied, throwing on her jacket. Dean muttered that he wanted a beer, and Sam said he'd see what he could do.

Dean drifted in and out of sleep, and was jolted awake by someone saying his name.

"Dean!" Dean jumped when he saw Castiel sitting on the edge of the bed, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Yeah?"

Castiel folded his hands. "You made the right choice earlier."

"Huh?" Castiel rolled his eyes.

"With Lilly. There was prophecy speaking of this, and if you hadn't let her come back with you and Sam, the eventual consequences would have been disastrous."

Dean sat up. "Well, you know how much I love being heaven's bitch-puppet," he grumbled.

Castiel gave him a small smile. "Just because you don't agree with everything doesn't mean you don't have faith, Dean," he said. Dean nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Dean wiped a hand over his face. "So why are you here?"

"To tell you that while it's very good that this particular fork of prophecy has come to pass, there are other important parts that must be fulfilled."

Dean didn't like where this was going. "Like what?"

Castiel straightened his tie. "First of all, you can't kick her out again." Dean nodded. "Second, you have to let her help you, with your work and with other things."

"Oh, hold on a second-"

"This is not negotiable, Dean."

"But she's dangerous! We don't know half the crap she can do!"

Castiel sighed. "Trust me, Dean, you would rather this path. Let her help. She can control herself."

Dean sighed loudly. "Fine."

"I'm afraid you'll have to choose the rest for yourself."

Dean snorted. "Alright, but if I end up blowing the world up by saying 'good morning' to her the wrong way, don't come crying to me."

Castiel stared blankly. "Dean, I seriously doubt the world will explode from simple kindness."

"No, Cas, I was- never mind." Castiel stared for another moment, then shook his head.

"Just remember what I said, Dean- be very careful about what you do."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, fine."

Castiel stood and brushed invisible dust from his coat. "I need to be going," He said. Dean sat up a little straighter.

"Thanks for the advice, I guess," Dean said. He didn't like that there was so much prophecy controlling his life.

"You're welcome, Dean. It's my job to help you." Castiel bowed his head slightly. Dean didn't say anything, and Castiel walked out the door.

Sam and Lilly came back a few minutes later and found Dean lying in bed, half asleep. Sam smiled slightly at seeing his brother get some rest. They both needed it; hell, Lilly probably did too. Neither Sam nor Dean knew what she was capable of, and while it itched at Dean constantly, Sam was okay with it. He was able to trust Lilly easily.

Lilly flopped on the other bed, not aware that Dean was barely still awake and watching her. Sam smiled at her.

"You take the bed, I'll take the floor."

Lilly nodded; she was too tired to protest. "Thanks," she said. Dragging herself up, she grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom to change.

Dean slept better than he had in a long time that night. He didn't wake up once, and didn't dream at all. No nightmares from hell, no angels or demons, no prophecy. For the first time in months, his sleep was completely peaceful and uninterrupted.

Lilly spent the night in hell.

Her dreams were plagued with demons and angels coming after her, visions of being in hell- both of being tortured and torturing others. She cried in her dreams and woke up several times almost clawing her eyes out, the images burned into her mind. Whenever she woke up almost screaming, she looked over at Dean's peaceful face and closed her mouth and closed her eyes, bracing herself for the next round with Dean's nightmares.

Waking herself up did no good. She could still see things, and couldn't shake the pain she felt. In an effort to make Dean's life a little easier, she had tried to take everything he felt herself, to let him sleep. She didn't know one person could hold this much pain and suffering and still be sane.

She tried to dig through Dean's mind to find something, _anything_, that wasn't tainted by evil or demons, and found nothing. This had been his whole life.

After searching most of the night, trying to fight and break the nightmares, she found a memory that left her sobbing and barely able to breathe.

It was fuzzy, and she didn't understand most of it- but the message was clear.

An old man sat in a wheelchair, but Lilly could tell it wasn't just a man. This was something worse than a demon, though she couldn't tell exactly what it was. It was something horribly evil.

People were starving and tearing each other apart, and Lilly recognized Sam and the angel, Castiel. There were several other people she didn't know standing around, and she almost screamed when the focus turned on the old man again.

It was like looking emptiness in the face.

He started speaking to Dean in a ragged, cracked voice, and Lilly tried to reach into the memory and grab him, kill him. But when she reached out, there was nothing there, almost as if he wasn't real.

Yet she knew he was.

She tried to make sense of the words coming from the old man's mouth, and couldn't. He said something about hell, and people starving, and a famine-

Famine.

_Oh, dear God, this isn't happening-_ Lilly knew it was. She'd read the Bible, and she knew about the four horsemen. The man in the wheelchair was Famine, and was feeding on souls. She knew he would take Dean's.

She felt the old man reach out steal Dean's soul, and saw his surprise when he found nothing. She heard him say that hell had stolen it already, that Dean was a broken man with no hope. She cried because she knew it was true.

* * *

Lilly sat up quickly, and felt tears streaming down her face. They turned to tears of relief when she that sunlight flooded into the windows. Running a hand through her hair and wiping her eyes, her gaze darted around the room. Sam was sitting at the table with Dean, and they were eating breakfast.

Dean turned towards her and gave her a big smile. "Morning," he muttered through a mouthful of sausage biscuit.

"Morning," Lilly said shakily. "How long have you been up…?" The previous night was blurry, and she was all too glad to put it behind her.

"Just a couple hours." Sam's voice was gentle, and Lilly felt a little better as she swung her legs out of bed. Standing up, her legs screamed at her. Without Dean to keep in her chained up in a motel room all the time, she'd been out a lot, always running. Over the last week, she'd pushed herself harder than she usually did, and sprinting around the park last night to find the demon hadn't helped.

Lilly pulled her back quickly into a ponytail and moved towards the table. She hadn't eaten much over the last week, and was starving. The guys' food smelled amazing.

"What are you hungry for?" Dean asked. She looked pretty hungry, and he wanted a chance to talk to her.

Inhaling the scent of breakfast, Lilly sighed. "Cheese and carbs," she said. Dean laughed.

"Put some clothes on and I'll get you something to eat," he said. Lilly grinned.

A few minutes later they were in the Impala, headed into the small town to find breakfast. Sam had decided to stay and look for another case, and though he didn't say anything, Dean was kind of glad.

"So… Rough night?" Dean asked, trying not to be too intrusive. Lilly flinched slightly.

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

"Not your fault."

Lilly's voice was tight, so Dean didn't press the issue further. As usual when he was around her, he was hit with indecision about whether to try to hit on her, or kill her. Whenever the first instinct started to overwhelm him, he thought of the demons she had killed, and what Bobby had told him. Whenever he thought about the second, he remembered Castiel's warning.

_Just don't shoot her._

Without thinking, the hunter got the better of him and he spoke up. "Look, so I've gotta ask…"

Lilly raised her eyebrows and met his gaze.

"What are you? Like what can you do?"

Lilly smiled and stared out the window.

"What, you can't talk now?"

_You already know._

It sounded as if she'd spoken inside his head, but he knew nothing had been said out loud. He looked at incredulously, and found her watching with a smirk.

"So you're like a… Psychic or something?" Lilly laughed out loud.

"Not even close." She spoke aloud this time. Dean was a little relieved. He didn't like the idea of things being in his head.

He didn't know that Lilly had heard that thought.

They passed a sign for a small diner a couple miles down the road. Dean pointed to it. "Sound good?"

Lilly nodded. "Sure."

Dean didn't really know what to say to Lilly. He didn't know what to ask, or how to react to the answers. They sat down in their booth quietly, and when he waitress had set off to get their drinks, Lilly looked across the table at Dean, folded her hands, and smiled sweetly.

Waiting.

Instead of saying something immediately he picked up a menu and leafed through it, pausing to look at several items. Finally he realized he couldn't stall any longer, and looked up to meet the gaze of the woman across from him. She was watching him in that unnerving way, like a hawk watching a mouse- knowing it didn't need to hurry, only to watch and wait for the mouse to come closer.

"How do you do it?" Dean blurted. It was the best he could think of.

Lilly smiled and waved her hand absently. "I just… Do."

That wasn't the answer Dean had wanted. "What do you mean? I want to know, Lilly."

"You don't want to know." Her eyes went icy and her voice changed. She was dead serious.

"Yes I do."

"Leave it alone, Dean."

"Dammit, Lilly, tell me, or I'll shoot you right here."

Lilly's eyes flashed angrily. She bit back a smart remark as the waitress came back with their drinks and took their orders. As the waitress walked away, she turned her eyes on Dean viciously.

"That was disgusting, Dean."

"Huh?"

"I'm sure she would never do that with you, considering she'd married."

"How the hell-!"

"I said you didn't want to know." Lilly sipped her sweet tea and fixed Dean with a hard stare.

"Fine."

"Good."

"So it's settled."

"Guess so."

"Sleep well?" Lilly asked, trying to sound innocent.

Dean nodded and relaxed slightly. "Great, actually,"

Lilly nodded. "That's good," She slightly regretted the fact that Dean would never know that she was behind it. There was something depressing about being the one saving people behind the scenes, especially when they didn't even know they needed saving.

But then, she figured, Dean probably knew something about that.

Sighing, Lilly swallowed her thoughts and feelings and looked up at Dean again, but not before she was hit with a wave of pain- knowing that he would never feel the way she did, that he would never trust her, or let her into his life.

Like she always had, she wanted to save him, and put the broken pieces of him back together. She had always wanted to help people; it was why she had become a doctor. Seeing Dean clearly so destroyed by his own life was heartbreaking to watch, but she knew she could never be the one to fix him.


	12. Chapter 12

_Thanks for bearing with the long pauses between chapters. Hopefully I'll be able to update more often in the next few weeks. Thanks for reading; please review!!_

_P.S. For people following the show, new episodes on the 25__th__! _:)

Chapter Twelve

Lilly and Dean chatted about nothing important for the next half hour, eating their food and trying to ignore the awkwardness that hung over them like a cloud. For the most part, they talked about music and cars, and Dean was increasingly impressed by Lilly. She reminded him a little of himself, and tried repeatedly- and unsuccessfully- to suppress any potential feelings for her.

They walked back out to the Impala, and Dean started to open the driver's side door.

"Wait," Lilly said. Dean looked at her questioningly. "Does the I-get-to-drive-for-a-week thing still apply?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he said, tossing her the keys. "I don't like this."

Lilly grinned. "I know," she slid easily behind the wheel, and started the engine. She sighed and gave Dean a look when the engine purred and growled. "I love this car," she said quietly.

"I do too." Dean said, looking at her pointedly. "And it's mine. Which is why I hate this."

"Thanks," Lilly said softly. Dean wondered if she knew that the fact he was letting her drive his baby showed that he was starting to trust her. From the look in her eyes, he thought she did.

Without thinking, he scooted closer to her. She gave him a strange look, and cocked her head to the side.

Dean felt his face heat up. "Radio," he said lamely, fumbling with the knobs.

"Right," Lilly said, so quietly he could barely hear it. Someone could have cut the tension with a knife.

As Dean was about to slide back over to where he knew he belonged, Lilly was next to him, reaching for his hands, her eyes fierce and full of emotion. He quickly pushed himself back where he had been, feeling like he wasn't quite in control of his own actions. It was unnerving.

Not really able to stop himself, Dean wrapped his hands around Lilly's hips and waist and pulled her into his lap. Her arms curled around his neck, pulling him closer, and his hands settled on the small of her back, pressing their bodies together. Their lips crushed together, and Dean felt a rush of excitement, just like he had the first time he'd kissed her six months ago.

The chill of the outside air didn't reach them in the car, and so Dean pulled back when Lilly shivered. Her eyes told him not to stop, and he immediately returned to skimming his lips across her neck and tangling his fingers in her hair. Lilly flinched when Dean's hands wandered around the hem of her shirt, and her fingers pulled his chin up to look at her briefly.

Her eyes pierced into him with horrible clarity, and he had no doubt about what she wanted. But his sense of duty overwhelmed him.

Lilly was beautiful, smart, and not just another drunk girl from a bar.

But that was exactly the problem- Lilly wasn't just a drunk girl from a bar, and she knew things about Sam and Dean. She would still be there in the morning, and they would still have to fight with her on the next case. With a sinking, defeated feeling, Dean knew once again that there was no way.

He couldn't risk hurting her, or letting her get too close.

Those were risks he couldn't take.

"What is it?" Lilly asked, though Dean could see in her eyes she already knew. He scooted back to his side of car, and she climbed off of his lap and sat in the driver's seat, watching him.

"I can't do this," Dean said, feeling guilty. Lilly's eyes pierced him.

"Why not?"

"You know why."

"No, I don't."

"Because I can never have a normal life!" Dean shouted, instantly wishing he hadn't. Lilly's eyes seemed to soften, but they still stared into him. He didn't like it, and wished she would look away for just one minute.

"And you think I can?" Lilly's words were quiet, but Dean heard the edge in them.

"More than I can!" Dean shouted at her. He was sick of explaining himself, and talking in general.

Lilly's eyes continued to search his face, and she watched him with an icy stare. Finally she spoke. "Okay," was all she said. She turned her eyes to the road and peeled out the parking lot.

As they drove, Dean's knuckles turned white as he gripped the dashboard, his thoughts racing. The telephone poles flew by out the window, but Dean didn't notice.

_Screw this. I'm done. I don't need her. I don't need anybody. _Dean's head filled with other incoherent thoughts, and he didn't glance at Lilly. Suddenly, a new thought dawned on him.

_This could have been just like Sam and Ruby,_ he said to himself. Lilly was no different than Ruby, for all he knew. She might have killed people. He'd been wrong to ever trust her; to ever even let her near himself and Sam. He couldn't believe he'd let himself be so stupid.

Lilly was fuming. Not so much at Dean, but at herself. She'd made a mistake, and opened herself up again, only to be pushed away.

_Never again,_ she told herself.

* * *

They arrived back at motel, and Lilly slammed the Impala's door harder than Dean would have liked, and gave her a dirty look. She threw the keys at him without even looking, and Dean caught them an instant before they hit him.

Sam glanced up when Lilly threw the door open, and gave Dean a look that silently asked _what did you do_ when Dean followed in behind her. Without a glance at Sam or Dean, Lilly grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom.

"Dude…" Sam said, giving Dean a condescending look.

"What?!" Dean yelled. They both flinched when they heard the slam from the bathroom.

"What did you do?" Sam asked.

Dean threw his hands in the air. "You automatically assume I did something? Why the hell is it always me?"

"Because it is always you, Dean!"

"Shut up. No it's not."

Before Sam could reply, Lilly flung the bathroom door open, dressed in shorts and a t shirt. She sat on the bed and put her on running shoes, grabbing her headphones as well.

"Going running." She said quickly, not making eye contact with either of the Winchesters.

"Lilly, it's starting to rain and it's freezing…." Sam began.

"Don't care." She slammed the door hard on her way out.

"What the hell, Dean!"

"I didn't do a damn thing!"

"Bullshit."

Dean knew Sam didn't curse much, at least not as much as he did, and hearing his little brother so angry was enough to make him soften his tone.

"We were… Fooling around in the car, and I told her I couldn't do it," Dean said, a little embarrassed.

"You did _what?"_

"What? You know she's hot."

"Well, yeah, Dean, but you're the one who freaked out about her coming with us in the beginning, remember?"

"So?"

Sam groaned. "It doesn't matter. So you actually turned down a woman like that?"

Parts of Dean hated himself for that, but he knew it was the right thing. "Sammy, you know what we do… It wouldn't work."

"Yeah, I know _that, _I'm just amazed at your restraint."

"Honestly, me too."

Sam laughed. "But seriously, Dean, you can't do that to her. She's… Fragile."

"Fragile my ass!" Dean shouted. "She can kill me with her mind, Sam!"

Sam sighed. "That's not what I mean… She's been through a lot." He said. Sam went silent for a moment, thinking. "How much does she know?"

"About us?"

"That… And the Apocalypse."

"Oh."

"Well?"

"I dunno."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Great."

"Why's it matter?" Dean asked. Sam stared at him.

"You don't think it's important that she may or may not know that we, the two of us, started the Apocalypse?"

"I hadn't thought of that, no."

"You're an idiot."

Dean threw a nearby pillow at his brother, and Sam ducked.

"We need to tell her."

"Now who's the idiot?" Dean didn't know where Sam got some of these things. Sam raised his hands in defense.

"Dean, she has a right to know." Sam said quietly. Putting his face in hands, Dean shook his head.

"I don't care. I'm not telling her."

* * *

Lilly pushed herself harder through the rain, ignoring the pain in her legs and the biting cold. Rain and wind whipped her hair around her face; she hadn't bothered to pull it back.

Running faster still, Lilly was a little grateful for the hot tears coursing down her cheeks to warm to them.

Lilly tried to shake the feeling of not being good enough, of being unwanted, and being too messed up- all were feelings she felt almost daily. And there was so much she knew she'd blocked out, and probably some she didn't even remember herself.

There were so many things Sam and Dean didn't know.

With any luck, they'd never find out- especially Dean.

At the thought of him, Lilly mentally kicked herself. She had been so stupid to believe he could ever be with her. He knew- at least, had an idea- of what she was. _And with what he does for a living?_ She thought. _There's no way in hell._

His bright green eyes flashed across her mind's eye, and she saw the pain he hid behind them. More than anything she wanted to get to where that pain was and fix it, and help him. Save him.

She hated that she couldn't. He would never let her.

Lynyrd Skynyrd's 'Tuesday's Gone' started playing on her iPod, and Lilly began to sob. She refused to let herself stop running, but finally she had to; she couldn't breathe through the tears.

Ignoring the wet ground and puddles, Lilly sat and propped her back against a telephone pole on the sidewalk, bringing her knees to her chest. She put her head in her hands and cried.

"Lilliana Holloway?" The voice was loud and clear, even through the rain. Lilly looked up. She had gotten out of the habit of hearing her last name.

There was a man in a tan trench coat standing over her. Despite the pouring rain, he didn't seem to be wet. She quickly recognized him- Castiel, the angel.

That was something Sam and Dean didn't know- she'd met Castiel before. He hadn't been in this body, but she had met him. He'd helped her several times in the past.

Castiel was offering a hand to her. Wiping her eyes quickly, she took the hand and let herself be pulled to her feet.

"Hello, Lilly." Castiel said.

Lilly tried to stop her tears as she pulled her headphones out and stuffed them quickly in a pocket. "Hi," she said softly.

"I know what happened… With Dean," The angel offered, meeting her eyes. She was glad to see that he wasn't afraid, despite the fact that he knew about her past.

"He hates me," Lilly said flatly. Castiel smiled wistfully.

"No. Quite the opposite… He just doesn't know it yet."

"So he just hates me at the moment."

"Dean Winchester has had a difficult life. He has trouble trusting… People." Lilly didn't like before he paused before saying people.

"I wish he'd let me help him."

Castiel looked at her. "You already have. The nightmares have plagued for months, ever since… Well, maybe that's for him to tell you."

"What?"

"It's really not my place to interfere."

"Like hell it's not. Tell me."

"As I said, Dean has lived a hard life."

"And what's the big secret?"

The angel sighed, and folded his hands. "Dean has been to Hell."

Not full understanding, Lilly almost laughed. "He practically lives in hell."

When Castiel looked at her again, his eyes were serious, and his faint smile had faded. "Lilly, I don't mean in the figurative sense. Dean Winchester was sent to Hell. He was tortured there for what felt to him like more than forty years, until I pulled him out."

Lilly was floored. Looking back, she should have known, given his nightmares. But she's never guessed he had been to Hell. "W-Why?" she whispered.

Castiel looked up at her, his eyes sad. "There is much to the story you don't know. The Winchester family had made a habit of sacrificing themselves to save each other. Sam had been killed by a demon. Dean made a deal, with another demon, to bring Sam back to life, allowing himself only one year to live. The end of that year came, and Dean hadn't found a way out of his deal, and he was sent to Hell."

Lilly watched the water on the sidewalk; the way it pooled and swirled. She couldn't seem to focus on what she'd heard, or comprehend it.

"Why did you pull him out?" She asked, hoping Castiel wouldn't hear, because something told her she didn't want to know the answer.

"Dean had not yet fulfilled his destiny."

"And what exactly is his destiny?"

"He has the fate of mankind resting on his shoulders."

Lilly was confused. "What?"

"Dean and Sam both have big roles to play in Apocalypse they unleashed."

"They did _what?!_" Lilly screamed.

"Sam and Dean unwittingly started the Apocalypse." Castiel said it as though he was telling her the weather forecast. Lilly stood, looking at the water on the sidewalk, and tried to ignore how it started to swim.

Terrified, she remembered a prophecy she'd heard years ago, and tried not to fall to her knees. It had been trip to a psychic with friends, meant just for fun. Lilly had wanted to run away screaming.

_The Apocalypse will bring with it the rise of many things- the dreamwalkers will again conquer and destroy, and with the most powerful of them will rest the fate of the impending battle between brothers._

She felt Castiel's hand steady her shoulder as if from far away, and swayed slightly.

"She meant you, Lilly." Castiel's voice was strong and commanding. He meant the psychic. Lilly felt sick, and wanted to run away screaming- again. "I realize that's not easy for you to hear."

"What do I have to do?" Lilly asked, not really wanting to hear the angel's answer. She was so scared, and expected any minute to wake up in bed, tears streaming down her face, and it would still be this morning, and none of this would have happened. Sam and Dean would be having breakfast, and everything would be okay.

But after blinking several times, Castiel was still standing there watching her, a sad look in his eyes.

"It's not as bad as it sounds, Lilly."

"How the hell is it not?!"

"There will be certain benefits to your success in this endeavor."

"Like what?"

"I cannot interfere with that."

Lilly sighed. "I guess I need to talk to Sam and Dean," she said quietly. Looking up at Castiel, she saw him nod.

"I can only pray for your strength, Lilly." Castiel placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, then began to turn away. He turned back suddenly. "Don't let your past influence your future," he said, giving her a meaningful look. "I don't think Dean will judge you as harshly for it as you think he will," Castiel added.

_If only he knew._ Lilly had so many secrets… She knew even she herself didn't remember all of them, after blocking them out for years.

This still didn't seem real. Lilly glanced around, and saw Castiel was gone. With a heavy heart, Lilly turned back the way she'd come and ran full blast back to the motel, intent on giving both the Winchesters an earful.

* * *

Sam was sitting at his computer doing research, and Dean was lounging on the bed watching a soap opera when Lilly burst through the door. She was dripping wet, and her hair was in wild tangles. Dean found the look downright sexy.

Slamming the door behind her, Dean wasn't sure what was more threatening- the cracking thunder and lightning outside, or being inside with Lilly and her wildly flashing eyes. She turned those terrifying eyes on Dean and stared him down.

"What the _hell_ did you two do?!"

Dean had a sinking feeling. "About what?" he asked, trying not to sound too concerned. He had a feeling he knew exactly what she was talking about, and how she knew it.

"_You started the damn Apocalypse?!"_ Lilly screamed, her face inches from Dean's.

"Well, you know, I had some help-"

"Dean-" Sam tried to cut in.

"_And you!_" Lilly screeched, rounding on Sam. "Are you both _idiots?!_"

Dean stood up, crossing his arms. "Hey, where were you? I don't see you fighting a war!"

Lilly stood on her toes and glared up at Dean, ignoring his question. "Tell me _everything. Now._" She hissed.

Dean's temper flared. "Why? You won't tell us everything about you!"

"Because what I do doesn't concern you!" Lilly shouted in his face. Sam stood.

"Stop it! Fine, Lilly, we'll tell you. Dean, sit down."

Dean didn't like his brother telling him what to do, but he sat anyway. He listened as Sam made Lilly sit as well, and told her everything- Dean was shocked how much Sam told her. It was literally _everything_, from the beginning. Lilly listened intently, not seeming surprised by much of it. When Sam got to the part about Castiel pulling Dean out of hell, Dean rolled his sleeve up wordlessly. Lilly just nodded.

As Sam was finishing the story, Dean's phone rang. He answered it quickly, turning away from Lilly and Sam.

"Hello?" He said gruffly.

"Dean?" A timid voice asked.

"Who's asking?"

"Th-this is Chuck." _Damn it, _Dean thought.

"Yeah, Chuck, it's me." He turned and Sam's ears perk up.

"Are you alone?"

"No?" Dean said, confused.

"Oh dear… I was hoping you wouldn't say that." Chuck sounded more and more distressed, and hearing the rustle of papers, Dean wondered what the prophet had seen.

"What's going on? You know I always have Sam with me."

"I think you all need to come see me… There's a problem."

"What kind of problem, Chuck?" Dean was getting impatient.

Chuck stuttered and coughed. "Well, um, have you ever heard of a, um, a… A dreamwalker?"


	13. Chapter 13

_Sorry this chapter is so long in coming… Hopefully Chapter 14 will be up early next week. Thanks for reading;, please review! It's much appreciated!_

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

Dean drove in silence as Sam slept and Lilly sat in the back seat. She knew who Chuck was from Sam's explanation, and had readily agreed to go, eager to put their current no-name town behind them.

Lilly fidgeted in the backseat, and it aggravated Dean. He listened with half an ear as Sam told her more about Chuck, and the books he'd given up on publishing, but still wrote.

"I've seen those," Lilly said. "I've never read any, but now that you say that, I should have remembered them."

Dean groaned at the mention of Chuck's books, and the explicit detail. He recalled the horror of having to learn, along with Sam, what exactly a slash fan was. Concentrating on the road ahead and not on the conversation between Sam and Lilly, Dean turned on the radio to a classic rock station and tuned them out. He'd just as soon rather not hear about hundreds of fans reading about his every move. For that reason, among others, he was thrilled that Chuck didn't publish his work anymore.

However, Dean was not happy at all that Chuck continued to write.

They hadn't heard from Chuck in a while, but everything he'd written wasn't good. There was always some impending demonic confrontation or battle. At that moment, Dean wanted nothing more than to be able to normal life- the thought of a life with Lilly briefly flashed through his mind, but he quickly shut it out.

Rain started to fall on the Impala's roof; lightly at first, but then with more force. Irritated, Dean let up on the gas pedal a little. Sam had drifted off to sleep, and at first he thought Lilly had as well, but then he saw her eyes flick open and glance around the car. He met her eyes quickly in the rearview mirror, and there was more a little hurt reflected back at him. Just as he was about to look away, Lilly glanced up at him again.

"I'm sorry I went off on you yesterday," She said quietly. "I… I shouldn't have done that."

"It's fine," Dean said gruffly. He almost apologized for the situation in the car, but didn't. "Let's just get to Chuck's."

* * *

The rest of the drive was spent in silence- Sam slept most of the way, and Lilly was quiet in the back. They arrived at Chuck's rundown house just as the sun was starting to set.

Dean stepped out of the car and glanced around. Chuck's house looked much the same as it had the last time he'd seen it; old and falling apart at the seams but not completely decrepit yet.

He leaned back into the car and shook Sam awake. Sam woke up groggily, pulling his duffel from the backseat as he opened the door. Sam ran a hand over his face before turning towards Dean, who poking through the trunk.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, his voice still thick from sleep.

Dean grinned and flashed a handgun quickly at Sam. "Just in case," He said.

Lilly was slowly getting out of the back seat, her expression a mask, and her eyes roving over the house. She hung back as Sam and Dean approached the door, and neither of them said anything.

Dean rang the doorbell, and heard a clatter. Chuck had probably been asleep, or drinking. Maybe both.

Chuck peeked out the door nervously, glancing around. His expression was relieved when he it was Dean and Sam, and not an angel or a demon. Opening the door wider, Chuck stepped out onto the porch. Dean cracked a smile when he saw Chuck was wearing his typical outfit of boxers, a t shirt, and an old robe.

"Hey, guys," Chuck said, fidgeting with his hands. "How... How've you been?"

"Great, Chuck, now why are we here?" Dean asked, leaning against the door frame. Chuck shuffled nervously and cleared his throat. He looked up to speak again, and his eyes landed on Lilly.

"Oh, God," Chuck said, backing into his house. "Please tell me she's not really there and I'm seeing things?" Chuck begged Dean.

Dean grunted, and cast a sidelong glance behind him. "Nah, trust me, she's there."

Chuck looked instantly distressed, and Lilly gave Dean a longsuffering look. He gave her a sarcastic grin.

"Chuck Shurley?" Lilly asked softly. Chuck glanced up at her quickly, then looked down again. He seemed reluctant to meet her eyes. Dean wondered with dread what he'd seen and written about her.

"Are- are you… Lilly?" He stuttered. Dean thought he looked terrified, and put a hand on the gun he'd stuffed in his jacket.

Lilly smiled and nodded. "It's okay, Chuck," she said quietly.

Chuck panicked. "Oh, God, get out of my head!" He began to mutter and yell, and Dean pushed him back into the house, shutting the door once everyone was inside.

"Chuck, shut up!" Dean yelled. Chuck did as he was told, not wanting Dean Winchester waving a gun around his house, for what would not be the first time.

"And you, get out of his head!" Dean yelled at Lilly. Lilly chuckled dryly. "What are we here for, anyway?" He said, turning his attention to Chuck.

"Is she going to kill me?"

Dean hated people who whined, and Chuck could be a first class whiner.

"Dean!"

Dean turned around to Lilly and gave her a look, then impatiently turned back to Chuck. "No, she's not going to kill you." Giving Lilly a stern look, he added, "No killing," as he showed her the butt of the gun he carried.

"Why is she with you?"

"We're asking questions, not you."

"You don't know what she can do, Dean, I know you don't, and she's crazy!"

"Dammit, Chuck, most people think all of us are crazy. Now why are we here!"

Chuck sighed. "Of all the things I've ever written, I wished most that she wasn't real," he said, nodding to Lilly. "And then… Then I started having these other dreams, not prophecy dreams, but nightmares, and she was in them, and she talked to me, and knew things, and oh, God, she's going to kill me!"

A sly smile had been spreading across Lilly's lips, but then she frowned. "If I wanted to kill you, Chuck, I'd have done it a long time ago."

"Wait, you know this guy?" Dean said incredulously.

"Long story."

"She's in my head, I'm telling you!" Chuck whined, not seeming to notice that no one was listening.

"Explain to me how you know this guy!"

"Technically, I don't."

"Yeah, well, technically, I was dead for half a year. Now spit it out."

"I've… Spoken to him."

"She's in my head!" Chuck almost screamed. "I'm not lying, I swear!"

Dean pointed the gun at Chuck, and Chuck immediately closed his mouth. "You gotta stop that," The gun then swung to Lilly. "Now, how do you know him?"

Lilly shrugged. "He's not exactly lying…"

Dean sputtered and swung the gun around as he waved his arms. "This is friggin' insane! What'd you do to him?"

"Just talked."

"That it?" Dean asked Chuck.

"Well… Yeah."

"Okay. Fantastic. Now what I'm worried about is why you can get into his head when you've never met him before!" Dean was suddenly reminded of Sam drinking demon blood, and flinched at the memory. He wished people would stop doing things they shouldn't be able to do.

Lilly's face took on a darker look, and she studied her shoes. She didn't answer.

"Now, Lilly!" Dean yelled.

Lilly sighed. "I can… Get into his head, as he puts it, because… Because he's in your head."

"What?"

"Because of your memories of him, and your thoughts about him, I can get into his head, if you want to put it that way."

Dean stared at her, speechless.

Chuck put his head in his hands.

Sam's eyebrows rose, and his gaze ping ponged back and forth between Lilly and Dean.

"You _what?"_

"You heard me, Dean." Lilly said with a sigh and a heavy look.

"So you're in my head, right now?!"

"Not at the moment, no."

"But you can do that, you've been in my head before?"

Lilly hung her head. "Yeah,"

"Get out."

"What?"

Dean gestured violently at the door. "Get out!"

A single tear escaped and rolled down Lilly's face, but she turned wordless for the door.

"Stop." The commanding tone made her do as she was told. "Dean, must I always remind you to trust what I tell you?" Castiel asked.

Dean huffed and rolled his eyes. "She's in my head, Cas! Don't you think that's a good reason for me to be angry?"

Lilly slowly turned back around. Castiel was standing in the middle of the room, Dean's arms were crossed and he was glaring furiously. Lilly felt a pang in her heart that of all the people she could have decided to want, this was the one she picked- the one who hated her.

"She is what she is, Dean. She's made sure not to see anything she knows is personal."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "And how exactly does she decide that?" He demanded.

Lilly knew he expected an answer from Castiel, but she jumped in anyway. "The things that are the most private, most personal, don't just sit on the surface. They're buried deep down, especially with someone like you."

"Someone like me."

Lilly nodded.

"What the hell does that mean?"

To everyone's surprise, it was Sam who answered. "You bury everything anyway, Dean. You hide how you feel, you don't let anyone see, and you cover it up with the tough guy act."

Lilly couldn't have put it better.

"Sam is right." Castiel said. "That is your nature; it's your means of defense."

"What the hell is this, therapy?!"

Chuck stood up. "I have some things I need to show you, if you don't mind…?" Dean was still glaring at everyone in the room, and didn't seem to notice. "Or I could just wait till you're done, whatever works," Chuck said lamely, sitting back down.

Castiel folded his hands and straightened himself up, bracing himself against Dean's glare. "You remember what I told you about her." He inclined his head towards Lilly, but didn't meet her eyes.

Dean fumed. He hated people talking about feelings, especially if they were his own. He didn't say anything, but continued to glare at Cas.

_You _cannot _let her go, Dean._ Dean jumped slightly at hearing the loud voice inside his head, but still he didn't say anything. _Protect her. You can't do that if she's gone. You have no idea of the importance of this._

Dean sighed and dropped his hands to his sides. "Fine." He said, not looking at Castiel.

Castiel nodded, then disappeared with the familiar rustling sound.

Chuck once again stood. "Can I talk to you, now?"

Dean rounded on him. "This better be good. And you-" he said, turning to Lilly, "go somewhere where I don't have to see you. And stay the hell out of my head!"

Lilly nodded solemnly, and walked into Chuck's kitchen. She tried to hold the tears back, knowing that they would come anyway.

Dean tried not to think too much about what he was saying. He'd never felt so conflicted about anyone outside his own family- he still couldn't tell whether he wanted to get closer to Lilly or kill her. It was a confusing and unsettling feeling.

Chuck's stuttering made Dean focus on what was going on in front of him. "I have a few things to show you… Hold on, I have to show her something, too…" Chuck trailed off and grabbed several stacks of papers.

He returned from the kitchen a few minutes later, carrying one less stack of papers. He handed one to Dean.

"I'm not sure how much of this is… Real. With the other dreams, with her, I can't tell what's prophecy and what's not. I just wrote it all down anyway." Chuck nervously sat on the couch again. "When it's just about you two, I can tell, but she's involved, I have no idea… This might answer some of your questions, though, Dean. If it's true, I mean."

Dean scanned the paper quickly, then began reading. Sam read over his shoulder, and Dean heard him suck in a breath. Given what Dean was reading, he couldn't blame him.

_Lilly walked down the quiet street, smiling to herself and bursting with pride. The job was everything she'd dreamed of- a great place to work, great colleagues, and not to mention a great salary. With luck, she'd soon be able to move out of her small apartment and buy a real house. _

_ Her pace was brisk, and she tightened her coat around her in the chill of the winter air. Though surprised at the silence of the usually busy street, she didn't complain. Her mind wandered, fantasizing over promotions, salary raises, and the prestigious work that was well within her grasp._

_ A slight rustle in the bushes along the side of the street startled Lilly. After recovering from a small jump, she quickened her stride and hurried in the direction of her apartment._

_ Several more rustles came from all around her, and Lilly began to panic. Glancing behind her, she started to jog, ignoring the pain from the heels she wore. Paying more attention to the path behind than where she was going, Lilly screamed when she connected with something directly in front of her. A big hand clapped over her mouth, and she felt herself being dragged into a nearby alley._

_ Lilly began to cry, not because of what she knew was probably coming, but because she'd been foolish enough to allow it to happen. She'd been too absorbed in her thoughts, and even with her ability, hadn't been able to tell anyone was even following her._

_ Her heart sank and her stomach rose as the man slammed her into the wall. He had her hands in a firm grip, and though she tried to kick at him, it was in vain._

_ Once again, her mind drifted, and she felt powerless to stop it. This time, however, she wasn't focused on her job or reality, but on a dream she'd had years ago, and never forgotten. It had seemed so real, and she'd often thought of it._

_ In the dream, a handsome man had pulled up in an old black car. He wasn't an average man, but something more- Lilly had always imagined him as a warrior, and he had literally swept her off her feet and saved her from the unseen dangers that had often plagued her nightmares. _

_ Even as the man she was currently held down by hit her and pulled at her clothes, she couldn't keep her mind from her own personal savior in an old black car. _

_ Tears streamed down her face as she felt a sharp pain over and over. She knew, and silently vowed, that she would never see the world in the same light as she had before. Bitterly, she thought that no matter how much she screamed for help, no one would ever come, especially not the handsome man from her dreams. It was just a stupid childish dream- nothing more. _

_ A final slam to her jaw brought her back to reality. She saw the glimmer of success in the man's eyes from getting what he wanted, and Lilly felt sick._

_ "Time to die, bitch," he said. With what could only be sheer luck, Lilly saw the glint of the knife as it came toward her throat. Time seemed to stand still._

_ She grabbed for the knife as it was almost touching her neck, and felt the blade bite into her palm. Lilly felt the sensation, but no pain. Withdrawn, her swung the blade back down, and heard the man cry out when she connected with his thigh. _

_ The knife was now firmly in her grasp, and Lilly ignored the blood dripping down her arm- she didn't know if it was hers or not, and didn't really care. The jingle of the man trying to buckle his belt seemed at the same far away and all too close. _

_ With detached skill and coordination, Lilly slashed the knife across the man's throat. He gurgled sickeningly as blood filled his mouth, and he fell to the ground. Lilly sank slowly, her knees no longer able to support her._

_ The hot tears coursing down her face didn't seem to register as she seethed with anger. She promised herself that she would never again allow herself to be taken advantage of so easily._

_* * *_

_ Since the first attack, Lilly began making changes. She started running more often, pushing herself harder. She didn't try to suppress the abilities she knew she had anymore- she openly practiced using them. _

_ Lilly felt herself getting stronger, physically and mentally. _

_ Now she could not only sense when someone was near her, but she could probe into their mind, reading their thoughts. It wasn't long before she could begin to control their actions as well. _

_ At first it was just simple things- a simple push in one direction or another. She knew people knew that something wasn't right, so she worked harder to ensure the person didn't even know it was happening._

_ In a few months, Lilly succeeded. _

_ She could choose whether or not someone knew she was making decisions for them, or whether or not they saw her in their minds. Even though her own abilities sometimes terrified her, Lilly felt better the more she learned to do._

_ When the second attack came, Lilly was ready._

_ She was again walking home alone, this time on a different street. She heard the man coming, and easily learned his intentions._

_ Lilly let him get close to her, and when she saw him waiting at the end of the street, she threw herself into controlling his mind._

_ That was when Lilly realized she could hurt people without ever touching them._

_ Without ever laying a hand on the man, Lilly killed him slowly. She was at once fascinated and horrified by her own cruelty. She saw and controlled everything the man suffered, and never flinched._

_ By the end, he was begging for the mercy of a quick death, and Lilly gave it to him._

_ Lilly didn't know that her newfound strength would attract the attention of far more than just humans._

Dean glanced up from reading. Sam was standing over his shoulder, open-mouthed.

"This is insane," his brother said softly. Unable to think of a response, Dean went back to reading.

_Lilly was attacked by a demon for the first time several months later. She knew what it was almost instantly from its mind, but she was still terrified._

_ Its black eyes were more slightly unnerving, but neither she nor the demon had any idea of her strength in defending herself._

_ Both of them were obviously surprised when the demon tried and failed to throw her around. The moment she could, Lilly took a chance and threw herself into the demon's mind. The things she saw would give her nightmares for months, but as the demon screamed, she decided it was well worth it._

_* * *_

_ The most terrifying night of Lilly's life was the third time a demon tried to attack her._

_ She knew it was following her, and didn't think any more of it than she usually did. She prepared herself for the killing she knew she'd have to do._

_ When she saw the demon, she smiled. It was possessing a man that by himself probably made people flinch. Lilly though briefly to herself that maybe she'd become addicted to the exhilaration of killing these things, and being able to get revenge on behalf of all the people they'd possessed and tormented._

_ Lilly was shocked as she was thrown back; the wind knocked from her lungs. Gathering her wits quickly, she tried to take over the demon's mind, but couldn't. It was like her abilities no longer existed- she couldn't find them._

_ Looking up, she started to panic as the demon walked towards her, grinning wickedly. It pulled her up by her hair. She then noticed that it held a small card- it looked like a tarot card, but not one she'd ever seen. The picture on it was of a skeletal looking lion, or maybe a dragon. She couldn't tell. It burned her eyes and made her feel as if her head was splitting to look at it._

_ Lilly was only vaguely aware of being dragged and throw into a car. The demon pressed the card against her skin, and she screamed. It was like being touched with fire._

_ When the car stopped, Lilly tried to run, but was stopped by the card being flashed in her face. She was dragged into a building, and put in a small room. The demon, smiling the whole time, chained her down. _

_ Lilly tried to glance around, and was overcome by the horrific pain she felt. The room was covered in the symbol that had been on the card. Lilly felt like every bone in her body was breaking and trying to fight its way out of her skin. Her head continued to split._

_ She had no idea how long she was there. At times the demon came into the room, and it was almost relief. The cuts the demon made on her, the horrible things he did to her, gave her something other than that symbol to focus on._

_ Lilly felt lightheaded and incredibly weak. Blood dripped down her face and she could felt huge bruises everywhere. A seemingly never-ending trickle of blood dripped from her thighs onto the cold table where she spent most of her time._

_ The door to her prison opened, and Lilly sighed with relief at knowing she wouldn't have to think about the pain the symbol caused her. To her surprise, it wasn't the demon, but a man in a tan trench coat. Lilly guessed he was more than just a man. His hands were bloody, and he calmly walked towards her with a serene expression. He undid the ropes and chains holding Lilly down, gently lifted her broken body in his arms, and carried her to the door._

_ Lilly assumed she passed out, because the next thing she knew she was in her bed, and the man was sitting on at her feet. She was tired and sore, but felt better._

_ "Thank you," Lilly whispered. The man stood, pressed a light kiss to her forehead, and was gone._

_ Lilly healed much more quickly than she expected. She quickly regained her physical strength as well as her mental power. A few weeks later, she made a decision that would save her life many times over._

_ After researching the symbol, she discovered it was an ancient Romanian crest. It had roots in ancient Egypt, where it was used to stop dreamwalkers from being able to enter another person's mind. Several legends said a fanatical hunter had put several other hidden symbols into it, to increase its power._

_ Lilly took a print-off of the symbol, enclosed in an envelope, to a tattoo artist. She knew the artist well, and was confident in his abilities to get it right._

_ Resisting the overwhelming pain and urge to scream, Lilly made herself watch as the symbol was drawn on the underside of her arm. She'd taken as many painkillers as she felt she could before coming to the tattoo shop, and now could only pray that the experience would soon be over._

_ Lilly stayed in bed for weeks, sick, barely able to move. The pain lessened infinitesimally each day, but it was never enough for Lilly to take notice. She slept fitfully, but often, plagued by nightmares and constant pain._

_ Once she woke up to the man in the tan trench coat at the foot of her bed. He made her eat some soup, and touched her forehead before he left. It greatly eased Lilly's pain, and she finally slept peacefully._

_ It was almost a month before Lilly was finally feeling like herself again. She still had occasional headaches and pains in her joints, but soon those, too, left her._

_ Her mental strength was completely intact, and stronger than ever._

_ Lilly was only attacked once more with the symbol, and only twice more at all._

_ She killed and cut down everything that tried to harm her._

_ Several months after she got her tattoo, she was attacked by a demon._

_ That was when she first heard the rumors._

Dean raised his eyes from the paper and took a deep breath. Chuck was sitting on the couch, twiddling his thumbs and glancing at them expectantly.

Scanning the page quickly, Dean realized the rumors were circulating through hell, and through demons on Earth, about Lilly being untouchable. Apparently there was a heavy price on her head, and a big reward for whoever could make her scream.

Dean shuddered slightly at the thought.

He was then filled with anger at anyone who would try, and he mentally issued a challenge.

Sam sat down and rubbed a hand over his face. Dean was blown away.

"And you don't know if any of this really happened?" Dean asked Chuck.

Chuck shook his head. "I'm afraid not… If I knew I'd tell you, I swear."

Dean grunted. This certainly did explain why Lilly was… Lilly. He was actually surprised she wasn't more messed up.

While Dean still wasn't sure he wanted to trust her or let her in yet, it did make want to kill her a little less.

Chuck stood up and looked at Dean, lowering his voice. "I have to ask you something,"

"Sure," Dean said absentmindedly, still absorbing what he'd read.

"Have you slept with Lilly yet?"

"What?!"

"Well, have you?"

"No! Of course not, are you crazy?"

"What? What do you mean you haven't?" Chuck seemed to panic. Dean was at a loss for words, or even an idea of what the prophet meant.

"I mean, I restrained myself and my desires, and focused on the job," Dean said gruffly, not sure how to go on. _How do you come back from this?_ He asked himself.

"Oh, no, this is not good," Chuck said, mostly to himself. He began to pace. "I mean, have you even gotten close?"

"Dammit, Chuck, what the hell? Yeah, we fooled around in the car a little; nothing serious. Why the hell does it matter?"

Chuck let out a breath. "Dean, listen to me. You have to sleep with her."

"Why?!"

"Because otherwise something very bad is going to happen!"

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger to keep from hitting Chuck. "What exactly will happen, Chuck?"

Chuck stared at the ground, and began to stutter. "I- well, I… I can't tell you."

"You can't tell me."

"No."

"Of course you can't." Dean hated dealing with prophecies and angels and Apocalypses, and wished they would all go to hell.

"I can tell you that if I were to tell you, it would defeat the whole purpose because- well, just never mind. Do you have any… Feelings for her?" Chuck looked terrified asking, and Dean didn't blame him. He had good reason to be.

"Feelings? No." Dean scoffed. He was sure that Chuck wouldn't know he was lying. Sam excused himself, and wandered into the kitchen.

Chuck's face clouded over with panic. "But- But…" He wrung his small hands. "Are you sure?"

"Well…" Dean cleared his throat. "I guess, you know, _maybe, _if a time should come…"

"Oh, thank God." Chuck allowed himself to sit down again, and let out a deep breath.

"Chuck." The man looked up. "Explain to me why this is so important?"

The relief on Chuck's face was replaced by a look of worry, anger, and most chilling, complete and utter horror. "You don't want to know."

* * *

Lilly poured over the pages slowly. She felt as if she were reading about someone else, a stranger, not someone she knew.

_You don't really know him,_ a voice in her head told her. With a pang of sadness, she knew it was true. Dean wasn't hers now, and never would be.

Lilly read slowly about what the Winchesters had done, what they'd been through. At times she laughed, and at times she cried. No matter what, she felt a sinking feeling of hopelessness, and heard an unrelenting voice telling her she was nothing but a burden and they- especially Dean- would never care for her.

After reading all of the older writings Chuck had given her, Lilly at last turned to the final stack of papers. It didn't look like one continuous thought, but several broken up.

_Dean's eyes watched longingly Sam carried the beautiful, nameless girl to the car. _It always has to be Sam,_ he thought wistfully. He ignored the regret at trying to leave her, and the fear at taking her with them._

_* * *_

_ Jealously burned through Dean as he watched his brother stitch Lilly's wounds. He tried to tell himself he probably wouldn't be focused and would mess it up, but to be that close to her-! It would have been worth the needle that would have doubtlessly ended up stuck in his finger._

_* * *_

_ Dean tried not to take it out on Sam when he woke up in the mornings to see him and Lilly in bed, when she had woken up from a nightmare and Sam had gone to comfort her. Dean didn't dare let either of them see that it hurt him more than he cared to admit to himself, or that he would do almost anything to trade places with his little brother for just one night._

_* * *_

_ Sitting in the Impala, Dean often wondered if Lilly knew how much she terrified and fascinated him, and how frequently he debated putting a gun to her head or scooping her up and riding off into the sunset. He didn't like to think of himself as the romantic type, but there were some times when Lilly seemed so appealing and so much like himself, that he figured he would do just about anything for her._

_* * *_

_ Dean was so angry that he seriously considering just pulling the trigger. It was only what Cas had told him about Lilly that kept his finger still._

_ For the moment._

_ She was going to get both him and Sam killed, and though he knew it would tear him apart to do so, Dean Winchester had done tough things before. He knew if it came down to it, he would kill Lilly in an instant._

_* * *_

_ Dean's heart felt as if it split in two with the slam of the door. Part of him wanted to run after her, begging her to stay, but the practiced, colder part of him held him back. Even as part of his brain screamed at him to go get her before it was too late, even if just to protect her, he didn't want to let her go._

_ But he didn't go; he stayed in the motel room, frozen._

_ He didn't go after her because that would mean reaching into the deep void in his soul that no one had ever filled, and nothing but booze and hunting had even begun to, and he simply couldn't do that._

_ Dean was a broken man with no heart left, and what felt like his first chance- maybe his only chance- to be happy and fill the void had just slammed a door his face._

_ All because he was so angry and selfish._

_ At that moment, Dean had never felt so alone or helpless._

_* * *_

_ Dean tossed and turned helplessly in his bed. The blonde from the bar had left several hours ago. Any other time she would have been perfect- gorgeous by Dean's standards, young, halfway drunk and up for anything. _

_ But with Lilly still gone, and no word from her, Dean couldn't make himself give anyone else the time of day._

_ He didn't let Sam see that he missed her. He was even a little unsure of himself that he really did, but something didn't feel right without her there. The dark, bottomless pit where his soul had once been had been empty ever since he'd gotten out of hell, and while booze and countless women and killing things made it seem a little less deep and dark, Lilly had been the only thing that had made it seem to go away all together._

_ It wasn't even as if he and Lilly had talked much, or even agreed on most things, but something about her reminded him so much of himself, and what he'd always wanted in the back of his mind, but never thought he deserved. His mind told him he didn't deserve Lilly anyway and never could, but that knowledge didn't stop him from feeling alone and desolate without her there._

Lilly set the papers down, her mind racing. Everything she'd been afraid to hope for was written down right in front of her, but some rational part of her brain told her that there was no way this was real.

Things just didn't happen that way.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Sitting in the messy little kitchen of a man she felt she knew but had never met, Lilly was suddenly reminded of a dream she'd had years ago- a handsome man in an old black car, rescuing her from the dangers of her nightmares, sweeping her off her feet. She hadn't thought about it a long time.

Briefly, Lilly smiled to herself when she thought that Dean was that man, but then the smile was replaced by a frown when she realized Dean wouldn't sweep her off her feet- that wasn't his style, even if he had any desire for her whatsoever. Dean's style was to sweep women out of their clothes and into bed, then sweep right out the door.

Lilly's optimistic side told her that something could change, that she could be the one to fix his broken heart that even he himself wouldn't acknowledge…

But Lilly knew it would never happen.

Dean wasn't hers. Even though it hurt to admit, not recognizing it wouldn't change it. That much, Lilly did know.

With a rush of panic, Lilly remembered the last time she'd thought of her dream. She quickly remembered why she'd never wanted to think about it again. After all, it was just a stupid dream.

The horror of that night and the many nights that followed swept through her memory… There were so many. So many dark alleys, so many bruises and unimaginable pains the next day, and so many nightmares that would never go away.

Lilly wondered why she hadn't just given up, or killed herself. While she sometimes thought it was because of her pride or her willpower, deep down Lilly wondered if she was just too scared, and didn't know how to do anything else but soldier on.

More memories flooded her mind, and absently fingered the tattoo on the underside of her arm, remembering the pain of the demon using it against her. The things it had done… Lilly wished she'd died just to escape having to wake up in the middle of the night, alone, with no one to comfort her, every night for almost two years.

"You okay?" Lilly jumped at the concerned voice behind her, and realized she'd been shaking, and there were tears coursing down her cheeks. Sam placed a hand on her shoulder and bent down to eye level, his gaze repeating the question.

"Yeah… It's just- hard to take, I guess."

Sam nodded knowingly. "Tell me about it," he said with a sigh.

"How's Dean taking things?" Lilly asked awkwardly, not wanting to bring it up, but curious.

"Better than some…" A loud crash came from the living room, followed by Dean yelling at Chuck, demanding that he tell Dean where he came up with this crap. "Not as well as others." Sam said, letting out another sigh. He squeezed Lilly's shoulder. "It'll work out okay."

"What's Chuck telling him?"

"Nothing he wants to hear. How'd you do it, anyway?"

"Do what?"

"You know… Get into Chuck's head."

"Oh."

"Oh?" Sam's eyebrows rose, and he watched Lilly expectantly. Lilly broke down, and sighed.

"I can see the surface of people's memories and thoughts. I can't see anything they intentionally keep buried without destroying their mind. If that happens, I basically control them. I can make them do whatever I want, I can torture them, kill them…" Lilly's voice was heavy with the burden of her words. "But I can see what's on the surface with no damage. I can also see their dreams, and manipulate them, with no lasting effects." She looked at Sam to make sure he was following. "That's why you've heard me called a dreamwalker."

Sam nodded.

"When I see Dean's thought, dreams, and anything he brings to the surface, so to speak, I can see whoever is in those thoughts as well."

Sam looked confused.

"I know it's hard to understand. I didn't start out able to do that; I had to learn it and get strong enough. Basically anyone in Dean's head, I can get into theirs."

A thought was forming in Sam's mind; Lilly could see the wheels turning. "Anyone?"

"Anyone."

"Even, say, demons?"

"If you're wanting me to kill them through Dean's mind, then no, I can't do that. But get into their minds and control them? In theory, sure."

Sam's smile spread into a wicked grin. "What about angels?"

"What do you mean, what about angels?"

"Could you do that to an angel?"

"Why the hell would I want to control an angel?"

Before Sam could answer, Chuck came flying into the room with Dean hot on his heels. Chuck tried to seek refuge behind Sam and Lilly.

"He's going to kill me!" The prophet squealed. Dean glared.

"I'm not gonna kill you, you little bastard, but I want to know why the hell you write this crap!"

"I can't help it! I don't make it up, I swear, I just write what I see!" Chuck was almost crying. "If I didn't have to, I wouldn't!"

Lilly laid a hand on top of Chuck's gently. At first he jerked away, but then relaxed and nodded.

"Thanks," he said miserably. "I'm sorry, Dean… You know I hate writing this."

Dean sighed, and looked around the dimly lit kitchen. He didn't see anything worth shooting. "Alright, well, was that everything?"

"Was what everything?"

"Was that all you need to tell us?"

"Oh. Um, not exactly."

"Please, tell us." Dean said sarcastically, his eyes carrying most of the smirk.

Chuck smoothed his robe, and tried to compose himself. "Lilly has to get stronger," he said cautiously.

"Okay?" Dean was confused.

Chuck struggled to continue. "Well, that means she has to have someone to… Practice on."

"So next time we grab a demon or something, just let her take a crack at 'em first."

"It's not exactly that simple…"

Dean sat at the table. "It never is," he said softly under his breath. "So what do we need to do?"

"One of you… Well, she said she can only see the surface of things. She needs to, um, not have that restriction."

Lilly jumped in. "I can't do that without doing permanent damage."

"That's the point. You need to be able to do that."

"Gotcha."

"Wait, why the hell am I okay with this?" Dean stood again and shouted. "I don't want her doing her psychic crap on me or Sam, or anybody!" His eyes flashed angrily. "Chuck, you wrote about Sam drinking demon blood, didn't you?"

Chuck nodded slowly.

"So tell me, how is this any different?" Dean was fuming now. Why couldn't everyone just be a normal person, and not able to do anything crazy? He reminded himself that he'd been to hell, and was far from normal, but it did nothing to calm him down.

"I was born like this," Lilly said quietly.

Dean didn't say anything. He knew that that fact made a difference, but he didn't say so.

Chuck started talking again. "You two don't have anything to worry about. I already… Saw that part." Chuck's face turned red, and he cleared his throat quickly. "Just let her do it."

"Fine," Sam said. Everyone looked expectantly at Dean.

"You need to do this, Dean," Chuck said quietly.

Dean threw his hands in the air. "Why does everyone know what I need to do? Why does no one think to tell me?"

No one had an answer for that.

"Whatever, we can talk about this later." Dean sighed. "We need to find a case," he muttered. He was getting restless quickly.

Chuck began puttering around the kitchen, picking up odds and ends and moving them around, not really making much of a difference to the organization of the small room. He turned suddenly. "If you all need a place to stay, you know, you can stay here… Just until you find a case to work on," he added when he saw Dean's scowl.

"Thanks, Chuck," Sam said. "I think we'll do that," he said with a pointed look at Dean. Dean glared back.

They grabbed the bags they'd left in the car and brought them inside, setting them at the foot of the stairs. Lilly was quiet, but Dean didn't complain. Chuck showed them the two rooms upstairs, and volunteered to sleep on the couch as he often did anyway.

The room where Sam and Dean were staying in was small, and had a bed and a couch by the window. Dean went to the couch without saying anything, ignoring Sam's questioning glance.

Lilly stood in the room across the hall, looking but not really seeing. She was still a little shocked from what she'd read, but refused to let herself believe it. The memory of the brief moment in the car with Dean was still raw as well. She heard Sam and Dean snapping at each other in the other room, and heard her name. Flinching slightly at it, she laid down on the bed miserably. She was ready to give up- the past few months had almost been too much to take. Lilly didn't want to risk getting hurt by Dean in the process; that would only make things worse. It was probably best that she buried her feelings for him, because nothing good could come of it. Feeling as though Chuck's writing had discouraged her more than it had lifted her hopes, Lilly told herself that from now on she wouldn't interact with or acknowledge Dean any more than she absolutely had to, at least until the feelings went away. It was for the best.

* * *

Dean was ready to take a swing at Sam, and would have if Sam hadn't glared across the hall and hissed at Dean to quiet down. Dean couldn't imagine why Sam was taking Chuck's side; Sam had been as affected by the prophet as Dean had.

"Look, why can't you just acknowledge what he said?" Sam asked, trying to keep his voice down.

"Because it's crazy, Sam!" Dean growled, not even trying to restrain his voice.

"So he tells you to sleep with a hot girl and maybe, for once, let other people know that you do have a heart and not just a gaping black hole, and you can't even consider it?"

"First of all, Sam, Lilly probably hates me by now, and second, I'm not letting her do that psychic crap on me!"

"Why not?"

"What the hell do you mean, why not?" Dean threw his hands in the air and began pacing. Sam stood still, and glanced at his feet.

"You let Pamela do her psychic thing to you."

"Pamela couldn't kill me with her mind, and Pamela didn't go poking around my head talking to anyone who popped up!" Dean hissed.

Sam shook his head. "You don't get it, do you, Dean?"

"Get what?"

"Get that Lilly isn't some demon, or monster, or angel, or something you need to go kill! She's on our side."

"You said that about Ruby, too, and look how that turned out." Dean regretted the words before they were out of his mouth. Sam glared, then turned around and walked out. "Hey, Sam, I'm sorry, okay?" Dean tried to call after him, but Sam either didn't hear him or didn't care. Dean assumed it was the second.

Dean flopped on the couch and watched the clouds. It was a dark night, but the clouds moved quickly enough that the moon peeked through every now and then.

Dean sighed. _What's the point,_ he wondered. They had no hope of stopping the Apocalypse, and he and Sam sure as hell weren't going to say yes to Michael and Lucifer. They would probably die painful, lonely deaths, running from fallen angels. They'd never have the life that Sam was all set up to have, before Dean dragged him back into the family business.

A wave of heavy regret washed over him for that. Just to know Sam was happy, and safe, would have been worth Dean hunting alone for the rest of his life. Dean had wished hundreds of times that he could go back in time, and never take Sam away from Stanford and Jessica. Maybe then, Jess would still be alive, married to Sam, and Dean would be an uncle. With a wistful grin that held no humor, Dean thought that if he hadn't gone to see Sam that night, he and Sam would still never speak, and he would never know how his little brother was unless he watched him from a distance.

Now they'd dragged Lilly into this awful life. Dean didn't really think that she'd been living in it already for years, and felt guilty for her as well. Not only that, but he'd almost killed her himself several times.

For what had to be at least the thousandth time since he and Sam had first started hunting together, Dean thought about packing up the Impala in the middle of the night and just taking off, no note hinting at where he was going, or any sign that he'd ever been there. He knew if he needed to, he could completely disappear and leave no trail for Sam to follow.

No one would ever find him, or know he ever existed.

But duty overwhelmed him everytime, and he would honor his father's last order to Dean until the day he died- protect Sam. Either save him, or kill him.

Those words would ring in Dean's head for the rest of his life every time he was tempted to run.

His father didn't raise him to run away from tough times or give in to the horrible life; his father had taught him to shoot it and kick its ass until either it stopped being a problem, or Dean died.

Dean truly believed he would die long before he was able to stop shooting.

Yawning, Dean laid back on the couch, but not before he checked that his gun was on the nightstand and his knife was under the pillow. Old habits would die hard.

Despite the fact that he was exhausted, Dean drifted off to sleep slowly, and only after tossing around the couch for several hours did he fall into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Dean sat bolt upright when he heard a scream; he assumed it was Lilly having a nightmare, but he grabbed his gun nonetheless. He was relieved to see Sam asleep in bed before he hurried across the hall.

Lilly was sitting up in bed, hugging her knees when Dean pushed the door open. She scrambled back up against the wall until she saw it was Dean, and then she relaxed only slightly.

"Bad dreams?" Dean asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Lilly wiped tears from hers.

She nodded, running a hand through her hair. "Yeah,"

Dean moved across the room, and sat on the edge of the bed. "You want me to, uh, sit with you for a while?"

Lilly's eyes were full of pain, and he thought for sure based on her look that she'd say yes, but her voice was ice cold. "No," she said, looking down.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Go back to bed." Lilly still wouldn't look at him, and Dean was confused.

"Okay…"

"Thanks." Her tone was curt, and Dean ached to wipe the tears from her cheeks, but he knew he didn't dare.

"Okay. Hope you sleep better." He said as he retreated back to the doorway. He was at a complete loss for why she'd said no; he was honestly trying to be nice. With a sigh, he realized he was probably way too late.

"You too," Lilly whispered to Dean's back, too quietly to be heard. Her voice was thick with tears, and she wanted desperately to run after him and have him sit with her, even if it was just until she fell asleep. She'd been dreaming of being attacked and tortured by the demon, and needed some kind of comfort. But she kept her vow and pushed her feelings for him aside, and took a deep breath, knowing her nightmares were far from over.

* * *

_Please review… Any thoughts are appreciated; let me know what you think! Thanks!_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Dean woke up groggily, his head aching from a fitful sleep. He groaned when he remembered going into Lilly's room, and being sent right back out. It wasn't something he wanted to dwell on for long.

Hoping Chuck might have something resembling breakfast, Dean walked slowly down the stairs. He stopped halfway when he heard Lilly talking. He quickly figured out she was on the phone.

"Yes, I understand… Yes, thank you for calling. Well, I'm on a road trip with some family friends… After they heard about my parents, they decided I needed some time off from everything…" Lilly laughed, but to Dean it sounded forced. Lilly began speaking again.

"Of course… Well, no, I don't plan to come back any time soon. The representative has already been out?" She paused briefly. "Okay, that's fine. I have the account number here somewhere…"

Something jingled as Lilly rummaged through her purse, and when she found what she was looking for she read off a long set of numbers.

"Alright, thank you… Yes, I appreciate it. You too." She hung up, took a deep breath, and noticed Dean standing halfway up the stairs. Dean thought he saw her wince.

"Hey," he said gently. "Everything okay?"

Lilly shook her head bitterly. "Remember the night you all found me?" Dean could never forget it. He nodded. "Well, I told you that those vampires or whatever the hell took me trashed my house. I guess they- or someone else, who knows- went and torched it." Lilly sat at the table, looking defeated. "I loved that house," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry," Dean said, wanting to say something more to comfort her, but not knowing what. "Who was on the phone…?"

"Insurance company." Lilly rubbed her temples. "They're transferring the insurance money into my account sometime this week," she added.

"That's good, I guess-" Dean broke off when her phone rang again. He was a little surprised that her ringtone was a Led Zeppelin song. _Like I need any more reasons to be crazy for her, _he thought miserably.

"Hello?" Lilly asked, sounding short. "Oh, hi, Martin." Dean wondered who Martin was instantly, and hoped he wasn't an old boyfriend. Those were never good. "Yeah, I'm on the road with some friends… Thanks. It's hard, but they're keeping me pretty busy." Lilly frowned. "Where is that?"

She covered the mouthpiece of the phone quickly. "Hey, Dean, how far are we from Clinton, Oklahoma?"

Dean shrugged. "Few hours, I guess," Chuck lived in central Kansas. "Why?"

Lilly didn't answer. "We're a few hours away." She listened for a moment, nodding, not seeming to realize or care that the person on the other end couldn't see her. "Yeah, when is it?" Dean almost chuckled as she nodded again. "Sure, I guess. I'll call you back later when I find out. Thanks for telling me." She hung up and glanced at Dean. Dean raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"That was a friend of mine that I worked with… There's a medical conference in Clinton, and he wanted to know if I was going."

"I thought you quit your job before we found you."

"Well, I did, but with the job I had, and the title I still have, I still get invited to all this stuff."

"So I'm guessing you want to go."

"Yeah."

Dean scratched his temple, wanting to make her happy but not wanting to start something they didn't need to. "When?"

"Tomorrow night." Dean wasn't at all worried about making it on time; he was just concerned about leaving Lilly alone.

"And how long are you going to be on your own?" He asked. Lilly rolled her eyes.

"You sound like my father. I'm a big girl, you know." He remembered her saying that same thing standing in a kitchen in a motel, the morning after they met her. "And I'm allowed to bring guests…"

Dean shrugged. "Talk to Sam," he said. He turned away, and missed the momentary crestfallen look in her eyes.

"Okay," she said.

* * *

Dean went out to drive around town later in the day, mostly to get away from having to look at Lilly. He didn't like looking at something he wanted but knew he couldn't have.

With a sigh, an unbidden thought of Cassie popped into his head. He hadn't thought of her in years. Things had been able to work with her, at least for a while. _Look how that turned out,_ he told himself. It didn't matter how much Lilly was like him, or that she was basically a hunter, too, or how much he wanted to bend the rules. There was no relationship-future for Dean Winchester.

They hadn't even figured out a way to stop the Apocalypse that was their fault, and while Dean wasn't complaining about not having to think about it, he didn't want to just ignore it either.

Neither of them had heard from Michael, Lucifer, or Zachariah in a long time. It was starting to make Dean uneasy.

He turned the Impala down another street he didn't know, and just drove on. There were little brick houses with well-manicured lawns and a tire swing on the tree. Right then, Dean hated seeing those houses. They represented everything that had been taken away from him as a kid, and everything he was being denied now.

Letting his mind wander to other things, he didn't pay attention to the man sitting at the front of an alley. Dean didn't see the man lift his head, only to reveal cracking scars across his face. Dean didn't register the electrifying blue eyes that, despite the man's appearance, were alive with purpose.

Dean drove right past Michael without ever seeing him.

The corners of Michael's vessel's cracked and chapped mouth lifted up. Out of sheer luck, he had found what he was looking for.

* * *

Dean drove mindlessly down streets that looked like maybe they went somewhere, and found nothing. He saw more little brick houses with tire swings, and saw mothers tucking mittens onto children's hands before hustling them out the door to play.

A scene that most people would have found adorable, Dean found depressing.

He thought bitterly that this was the reason why he and Sam, and Bobby, and all the other hunters out there did what they did without complaint or backing down. It was so these people who had no idea what was really going on out in the world could continue to live that way, in the dark with nothing to be afraid of. Dean, Sam, and so many others gave up their futures with spouses and kids and tire swings so that somebody else could have it.

Dean had never told Sam, or anyone else, how much he wanted a normal life- he preferred to have everyone think he enjoyed the life on the road, with nothing to tie him down. To some degree, he did. But deep down, he knew this life would never make him happy. It might make him feel like a hero some days, but it would never make up for losing what he never had to begin with.

Pulling over to the side of the road, Dean turned off the car and stared blankly ahead of him. Little snowflakes were blowing around in the wind, adding to the layer of frost on the ground.

Dean realized with some surprise that it had to be almost Christmas.

They hadn't heard from any of the angels since July. _Since we found Lilly…_ Dean hoped there wasn't a connection, but feared there was. He wondered if Lilly could use her power on an angel.

An idea formed slowly in his mind, and he tried to push it away- he knew it was a terrible idea as he was thinking it- but he couldn't help but wonder if it would work. He made a mental note to check with Sam about some of the details.

* * *

Sam and Lilly sat in Chuck's kitchen, looking at the map. Lilly was on the phone with Martin again, trying to find the general area of the conference. She'd found the town, Clinton, but was having trouble finding the exact street. Finally, she gave up and told Martin she'd find it on MapQuest later.

Chuck was passed out on the couch. He'd been that way since Lilly had first come downstairs in the morning, and hadn't moved.

Sam had been sympathetic about her house, and sounded more than willing to go to the conference. Lilly knew she could have more than one guest with her, and though she didn't say anything about it, she realized she didn't have to when Sam said he'd talk to Dean.

Lilly knew how Sam felt, and respected him even more for still trying to help make her happy anyway.

"So, do you two have any idea about what you're going to do?" Lilly asked. Sam didn't think she meant the convention, and he sighed.

"Not really… Obviously, we can't say yes. We don't know how to kill either of them. Hell, we don't even know where they are." Sam sounded defeated. Lilly nodded.

"I'm sorry it's the two of you," she said softly.

Sam chuckled. "It always is," he said. He heard the Impala's engine rumbling onto the street, and he glanced up at Lilly. "Dean's here," he said as he broke their gaze. While he didn't think it was fair that he actually cared about Lilly and his brother was only a few steps from hating her, he knew that Lilly wanted Dean, even if she wouldn't- couldn't- say it. All he could do was be there for her when she needed it, and hope that one she'd see that he'd been there all along.

The Impala's door slammed, and a few minutes later Dean marched in. He dusted the few snowflakes off the shoulder of his jacket, and paused at the couch to study Chuck. Lilly watched the way his forehead wrinkled, his eyes narrowed, and the corners of his mouth turned down in a frown, as he no doubt envied the prophet's drunken sleep.

His eyes flicked up, and for a moment, they met hers. Time stood still for the briefest second, and Lilly a spark of something in his green eyes that gave her an inkling of hope, but as soon as she saw it, it was gone. There was only calm recognition.

"You gonna be ready to leave in a little bit?" He asked gruffly.

"Yeah," Lilly said, glancing at Sam. Sam called out that he just needed to pack up a few things. "There's a motel near where we're going," she said. She didn't say that she planned to pay, and that it was a nice motel with a suite and indoor pool.

"Okay," Dean said, not really paying attention. "Chuck!" His deep voice boomed, and Lilly couldn't help but notice the way his biceps flexed as he shook Chuck back to the world.

"What…?" Chuck mumbled. "What time is it…" He fumbled around and put on a pair of reading glasses.

"We're leaving," Dean stated bluntly.

"Oh. Okay…" Chuck seemed to be searching for something that even he wasn't aware of. "I need to give you something first…" He finally found a fresh manuscript, and handed it to Dean. "Wait!" He yelled as Dean was about to read it. Chuck snatched it back, and searched around for a few more minutes as Dean tapped his foot impatiently. Chuck found an envelope, folded the papers, and placed them in the envelope and sealed it. "Here."

"Okay…?" Dean clearly didn't understand. Lilly thought that maybe she did.

"You can't read it now," Chuck said by way of explanation. He leaned in closer to Dean. "Wait until… Remember what we talked about?" Dean's eyebrows furrowed and he lifted his hands. "The…" Chuck rolled his eyes toward Lilly. "You know?"

"Oh." Dean nodded. "Okay…?"

"Read it after that."

"Uh-huh." Dean was still frowning, and as he glanced at Lilly and Sam, he saw that Sam looked completely at a loss, and Lilly's frown matched his own, complete with furrowed eyebrows and a puckered lip. It was somewhat endearing.

"Alright… We're headed out. Sam, let's go." Dean said. He nodded at Chuck, and clapped the prophet's shoulder as he passed.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Make sure you work on that… Thing."

"Will do, Chuck."

* * *

_Thanks for the reviews! Please, keep them coming! I love hearing from you and enjoy knowing what you like best. Sorry chapters are so few and far between, but spare time is unfortunately limited. Any thoughts, comments, or questions, I'd love to hear it!_


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Dean drove in silence, his mind wrapped around what Chuck had told him. He didn't have a clue why he would need to sleep with Lilly, but he wasn't opposed to the idea. He just didn't know how it could happen without someone getting hurt.

Even as he thought about it, Dean realized it was uncharacteristic of him to worry about a person being emotionally hurt because of a relationship, but Lilly was different. She wasn't just any girl; as much as Dean didn't want to admit it himself or anyone else, he knew that deep down, he actually cared for Lilly.

The trees on the side of the highway flew by, the Impala's wheels eating up the two-lane asphalt as Dean tried in vain, as he always did while driving, to outrun his dark and bloody past and move on towards a brighter horizon. Unfortunately, Dean had realized long ago that whatever horizon he ended up at was usually just as dark and bloody as the one before it. There was no escaping the pull of duty or responsibility; it was as much a part of him as the handprint scar on his arm.

Lilly stirred in the back seat, and sat up and wiped the sleep from her eyes. She brightened when she heard the radio.

"Turn it up," she said, giving Dean a bright smile in the rearview mirror. Surprised, he did as she asked and startled Sam out of his sleep with blasting 'When the Levee Breaks' to the passenger side speaker. Sam jumped up and gave Dean a dirty look.

"What the hell, man?"

Dean grinned. "Lighten up, Sammy, Led Zeppelin never killed anybody," Lilly chuckled from the backseat. Sam grunted something unintelligible and leaned back down in seat, resting his head against the window. Lilly grinned at Dean in the mirror, giving him a thumbs-up. His smiled weakly back, still reeling from visiting Chuck, and thinking too much. Excessive deep thought, without the accompaniment of alcohol, was not Dean Winchester's style.

Dean settled himself down into the seat, staring out at long black road ahead of him. The road was almost empty, the trees had thinned out, and the land was flat. The sparse grass rolled out for miles ahead, not a sign of civilization anywhere, except for the occasional sign pointing them south to Oklahoma, and worn old gas stations about every ten miles.

With a glance in the rearview mirror, Dean saw Lilly gazing out the window, a faraway look in her green eyes. She was so close, yet looked as though she couldn't be farther away.

They arrived in Clinton about five hours later, all of them tired and hungry. Dean agreed to stop at a small diner for a midnight snack before settling into the hotel, the location of which Lilly still hadn't told him. All he knew was that she'd arranged rooms for them.

Lilly had heard of the hotel several times, and was excited to be staying in a nice place instead of the pay-by-the-hour places she and the Winchesters sometimes ended up at. She was eager to stay in a place where the water didn't run cold after twenty minutes, the sheets were always unquestionably clean, and there was an indoor pool.

After each of them ate burgers in silence, they piled back into the car, with Lilly giving Dean directions from the backseat. He glared at her and began to protest when he pulled up to the decorative hotel with wrought-iron gates, fancy revolving doors and the hotel name gold-plated on the façade, but Lilly silenced him when she flashed a credit card in front of him.

Lilly had booked a suite for them to stay in, with two beds and a giant bathroom. Dean whistled as he stepped through the door.

"Nice," he said, nodding in approval. Lilly smiled. Sam wandered, in a daze, over to one of the beds and crashed onto face-first, barely managing to kick off his shoes. He was snoring in minutes.

Dean sighed and sat on the other bed, then looked up at Lilly. She saw the dull exhaustion of the job in his eyes. "I'll take the couch, if you want," he said, glancing at the couch sitting across the room. Lilly briefly thought that maybe she should suggest they share like she and Sam had so often done, but quickly suppressed the notion.

"Uh, sure," she said, not really sure what else to say. Dean's eyes lingered on hers for a moment. "Thanks."

Dean nodded, his eyes strangely contemplative as he turned away.

Lilly ducked into the bathroom to change, catching a glimpse of the tattoo on her underarm in the mirror. It had been a long time since she'd thought of it, but reading Chuck's prophecies had brought back memories- too many memories. The thought of sleeping alone was unpleasant.

Instantly, Lilly chided herself for thinking that way. That exact manner of thinking had led to many nights she'd viciously regretted, and would unfortunately never forget about. None of them had meant a thing, and that was what aggravated Lilly the most.

A knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts. "You wanna share, princess?" Dean's deep voice was muffled slightly by the door. Lilly stepped across the soft rug, and opened the door a crack.

"What?" She thought for a moment he meant the bed.

"The bathroom. You can't monopolize the bathroom."

"Oh. Sorry." Lilly ducked back, finished changing, and stepped back outside. Dean was waiting outside the door, his arms crossed.

"Thought maybe you drowned." His voice was quiet so as not to wake Sam, and Lilly gazed up into his green eyes, searching for something- she didn't quite know what. She forced herself to grin at the joke, ignoring the pull of emotion she felt looking at him.

"Goodnight," she called softly over her shoulder. Dean didn't respond, and she wondered if he hadn't heard or just didn't care as she pulled the covers over her body. In minutes, she was drifting off to sleep.

Dean emerged from the bathroom several minutes later. He looked across the room at his brother, sprawled out on the bed, snoring. Next, he glanced at Lilly, curled up under the covers. She was snuggled into her pillow, hugging it close. There was ample space on her other side, and Dean had mentally fight with himself for several moments before he finally conceded and wandered towards the couch. He fluffed the pillows and extra blanket as best he could, then walked back to Lilly's bed to turn out her light.

"Goodnight, princess," he said softly, brushing her back from her face. His eyes lingered on her for only a moment, but his mind stayed much longer.

"Happy holidays!" The woman at the lobby desk called. Dean had woken up before Sam or Lilly, surprisingly, and had explored the hotel. It was huge, and though he hated to admit it, definitely a nice change that he could get used to.

He waved at the woman, not really sure what she meant. There was a light dusting of snow on the ground, and for the first time Dean noticed the wreaths, trees, and lights spread throughout the hotel and down the street. Glancing around the room, he found a digital calendar- December 22nd. Three days until Christmas.

A little surprised how the time had gotten away from him, Dean wandered through the lobby, stopping at a small coffee shop set in the corner. Fishing his wallet from his jacket pocket, he bought coffees for him and Sam and hot chocolate for Lilly. She didn't drink coffee.

The elevator ride back was slow and quiet, with only two other people getting on and off. Dean walked down the hallway quietly, and opened the door with his elbow while trying not to drop the drinks.

Sam and Lilly were sitting on couch, watching a movie. Lilly jumped as the knife-wielding killer claimed another victim, and she grabbed Sam's arm. She turned when she saw Dean, and blushed slightly before smiling shyly and quickly looking away.

"I brought coffee," Dean said. Sam turned, grinning. Lilly started to wrinkle her nose, but Dean cut her off. "I got you hot chocolate."

"Thanks," she said, smiling again. She sipped it warily, and sighed when she'd taken a drink. "Thanks," she repeated, glancing at Dean.

Sam was sipping his coffee, and had taken a seat on couch once again. He glanced up at Lilly and Dean, who were still standing. "So, what are we doing today?"

Lilly swallowed the mouthful of hot chocolate, and sat down next to Sam. "Well, I need to go out and get something to wear… You all do too, if you're going." She glanced pointedly at the two brothers. "The conference starts at seven, and we'll probably stay till nine or ten, depending on how things go."

Dean nodded. "I'll drive you to a mall, or something," he said.

Lilly looked a little on the defensive, but nodded anyway. "Okay. Sam, are you coming?" Dean thought he heard a little desperation in her voice.

Sam glanced at Dean, who glared. "Uh… Well, I, uh- I have to, um, have to…"

"Iron yours shirts." Dean piped up, waving a hand at Sam. "If he doesn't iron them, you know, he gets crazy, just absolutely has a fit… Right, Sammy?" Dean gestured in his brother's direction and gave him a death glare.

"Right," Sam answered slowly. "I like ironed clothes," he added to Lilly. Lilly raised her eyebrows, not really believing him, and nodded.

"Give me a few minutes to change and I'll be ready," she said, glancing again suspiciously at the brothers. Then she grabbed a duffel bag and headed to the bathroom.

Sam turned to Dean. "Really, Dean? Ironing shirts?"

"What was I supposed to do?" Dean held up his hands defensively. "Say 'I want to spend time with you away from my brother'?"

Sam's jaw hung slack for a moment, then he managed to snap it closed. "First of all, yes. That is what you're supposed to say, because that's what you always say. Second, since when do you want to spend time with women outside of a pay-by-the-hour hotel room, especially when it's about them putting clothes on?"

Dean glared. "Shut up."

"You like her."

"So do you."

"No, I mean you really like her."

"Well, yeah, she's a cool chick."

Sam laughed. "Dean, you haven't been with any other women since Lilly came back. I think that's a record for you."

"So?"

"So, Lilly means something to you." Sam swallowed, not wanting Dean to see the words he was choking back. _And she deserves better, and means more to me._ The look on Dean's face silenced his thoughts.

"She means a whole damn lot."

_I'm SO, so sorry it's been so long… I've had a massive case of writer's block along with a crazy hectic schedule. Hopefully I'll be able to write more regularly soon, but sadly no promises. I'm not giving up on the story, though! I'll keep writing regardless of how often. Anyway, hope you all enjoy the chapter and tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!_

_By the way, who else thought the preview for next week's episode with the final Horseman and the cover of that song was positively AWESOME? :)_


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Two hours later, Dean had stopped caring about spending time with Lilly. He started caring about getting something to eat, taking a nap, cleaning his gun, finding a case, and getting the hell out of the department store.

"How much longer?" Dean groaned from his chair outside the fitting room. His head was in his hands, and he was less than a few minutes away from sprawling on the floor and going to sleep. Lilly had been trying on dresses for what seemed like forever, and Dean was questioning why he hadn't let Sam go with her and simply stayed at the hotel.

"Not much longer," Lilly called back. That was the third time she'd said those words in the past two hours.

Dean groaned loudly, trying to make his displeasure obvious to anyone he could.

Looking back at his conversation with Sam in the room, he wished he hadn't said anything. Then again, his brother knew him better than anyone else and probably knew how Dean felt anyway, but it was the act of admitting it that was upsetting.

Dean also hoped that Lilly wouldn't divide him and Sam; he knew that Sam really cared about her as well. Grimly, Dean thought that Lilly would be better off with Sam- Sam wasn't nearly as damaged, and actually had the capacity to show affection for others in most situations. Dean, on the other hand, was emotionally deficient and far less than what he thought Lilly needed and deserved.

"What about this one?" Lilly's voice interrupted his rare moment of emotion and self-pity.

"Fine," Dean said, without looking up.

"You didn't even look," Lilly said, echoing his thoughts. Grudgingly, Dean glanced at her. He did a double-take and regretted not paying closer attention earlier.

The dress was purple, strapless, and hit just below her knees. It was fitted at her waist and wider at the bottom. Dean stood up, whistled, and put a hand on her waist. The material was silky beneath his fingers.

"I like it," he said, thinking less of the dress and more about the woman in it. Lilly grinned, and hurried to change back into her other clothes.

Dean easily convinced Lilly that the suits he and Sam used for cases would be perfectly fine for the conference, and they headed back to the hotel. Sam was waiting for them when they arrived.

"I was starting to think something happened," Sam said, standing up. Worry was evident on his face.

Dean jerked his eyes melodramatically towards Lilly. "Princess here took forever," he said. Lilly shot him a glare, but there was a smile in her eyes that told him she knew the nickname wasn't meant as an insult.

Sam grinned and sat back down. "Glad to see you're not about to shoot her now," he said under his breath to Dean when Lilly turned her back.

Dean nodded. At the back of his mind, Chuck's words from the days past echoed and he wondered if he still might have to.

Lilly was smiling and shaking hands, and everyone seemed to be congratulating her for something. Dean felt insignificant in comparison, as well as uncomfortable in a suit. He could tell Sam felt the same, but Sam had had more experience with this kind of thing than Dean had.

Lilly had been telling everyone that Sam and Dean were family friends, and that their names were Dean Smith and Sam Wesson. So far, no one had caught the reference.

Dean tugged self-consciously at his tie, and jumped when he heard someone squeal. His eyes widened, Lilly and Sam turned around as well, and they all watched a large black woman barreling towards them at top speed.

Lilly's face broke into a wide smile, and she embraced the exuberant woman tightly. "Olivia!"

The other woman held Lilly at arm's length. "I was so sorry to hear about your parents… They were such good people." Olivia smiled sympathetically and hugged Lilly again.

"Thank you," Lilly said softly. "How've things been at the hospital?"

The older woman shrugged. "Everyone's missed you. We're doing well, though; a lot of us are building off the research you left behind,"

Dean saw a glimmer of pride in Lilly's eyes. He coughed, and Lilly whirled to face him.

"Oh! Olivia, this is Dean, and Sam, some friends of the family. Guys, this is Olivia. We worked together."

"Nice to meet you," Olivia smiled broadly, and firmly shook hands with both Sam and Dean. Then she turned back to Lilly. "You know, Peter's here…"

"Really? That'll be nice to see him."

Dean bristled at the mention of Peter, even though he still had no idea who he was. He exchanged a look with Sam.

"If I see him, I'll send him your way." Olivia said, smiling.

"Thanks." Lilly replied, moving off into the crowd and giving her friend a wave. She turned to the Winchesters. "Olivia is a really good friend of mine. We met when I got the job. She was my assistant."

"Oh," was all Dean could say. From what Dean could understand, Lilly had been one of the top cancer research doctors in the country, and was known nation-wide for all her accomplishments. He'd also heard several comments about "that doctor no one can keep their eyes off of", and had realized Lilly had much more money than he'd originally thought. Apparently, the work she did paid well.

Despite the fact that both of their jobs saved lives, Dean felt a pang of sorrow that the credit for saving the people that he, Sam, his father, Jo, Ellen, and countless others had saved would never be as recognized as what Lilly did. He figured Lilly saved just as many lives, but she never risked her life for the job.

Chuck's manuscripts flashed through his head, and he shuddered.

"Lilly?" A nervous man's voice barely registered over the crowd, and Dean was surprised to see how far they'd wandered from where they'd seen Olivia. He turned with Lilly and Sam to face a short, wiry man with glasses. His face lit up when he looked at Lilly, and it didn't take Dean long to realize he was completely smitten.

"Hi, Peter," Lilly said jovially. She gave him a quick hug, which Peter returned but didn't seem to know how to react to.

"I'm glad- glad you could come," the young man stuttered, his eyes never leaving Lilly's face. Dean admired his resolve; he himself had had trouble keeping his eyes above her neck all night.

Lilly was smiling brightly. "Well, thanks for inviting me… I didn't realize they were going to include me in this," she added in a hushed tone.

Peter's face grew serious, and he looked at her, his expression taken aback. "How could they not? You're the best doctor in the country, and you're leaving. I- I mean, we- wouldn't be anywhere without you." Peter was blushing. Dean raised an eyebrow dryly.

Lilly looked down, smiling. "Well, I don't know about that. You've always had too much faith in me," she said, grinning at Peter.

Dean was beginning to get irritated. He was about to say something to Sam about getting a drink, but before he could a band interrupted with lively music.

Lilly, obviously sensing that the situation was becoming awkward, dragged Sam off into the center of room where other people were dancing. Apparently, she didn't care about Dean's distress, and he stared after her hopelessly.

"So are you two the friends of the family?" Peter's voice broke through Dean's train of thought.

"What? Oh, yes, we are." Dean nodded, then looked out at Lilly, with Sam spinning her around. She was laughing, and Dean's jealousy flared.

Peter was nodding as well. "You're lucky, you know," he said wistfully.

Dean faced him. "How do you figure?"

Smiling, Peter looked at Dean as though it were obvious. "You've been able to spend your whole life knowing her," he sighed when he finished speaking, and gazed across the crowd. Dean followed his eyes, and landed on Lilly.

Sam's hands were on her waist, and he continued to twirl her around, both of them smiling. Lilly's laugh carried softly over the music and conversation.

Unable to deny it or say anything else, Dean just nodded.

He cleared his throat awkwardly a moment later. "So you, uh, work with her?"

"Yeah. We worked on deciphering the molecular structure of a malignant cell, and using the immunodeficiency factors to decide if-"

Dean held up a hand. "I think I get the picture." Peter just gestured in agreement.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

Dean glanced around and met Peter's eyes. The man was watching him intently, something obviously on his mind. "Shoot."

"Did Lilly ever open up about the… Incidents?"

"What incidents?"

Peter looked down and quickly tried to backpedal. "I probably shouldn't have said anything; she might not have told you…"

"Well, there've been quite a few incidents." Dean covered quickly.

Peter glanced around, and lowered his voice. "A few years ago, she… She was brutally assaulted and raped. She had no lasting damage- that time- but she seemed very stoic about it. We were all worried about her."

Dean had read the full account of it in Chuck's writings, but hearing conformation of it from a friend of Lilly's somehow cemented it in his mind, and made him want to strangle the son of a bitch that did it.

"She… Well, I think she's handled it." Dean struggled to respond. His mind was spinning with anger.

Peter seemed relieved. "Well, I'd hope so… It was years ago." He glanced around and lowered his voice again. "But then there was another time more recently… She was gone for a month. No one heard from her. When she came back, she was just… Different."

"Did she go back to normal?" Dean asked lamely. He couldn't focus.

Peter cleared his throat. "Olivia- did you meet Olivia?- examined her. This time, she was much more physically and emotionally hurt than previously. It was very upsetting for everyone to see her like that… She's usually so strong." He paused to look out at Lilly, still dancing with Sam. "Lilly's regular doctor told her she'd never have children. At first, she just scoffed at it, saying she never wanted them anyway, but we could all see… It was killing her." Peter finished by sighing and looking down, not before glancing once again at the beautiful woman in the purple dress that seemed to have everyone's attention.

Dean knew the second 'incident' must have been what Chuck wrote about Lilly being held captive by that demon. _God help that son of a bitch if I ever get my hands on him…_ Dean was almost shaking.

"Well, it was nice meeting you; I'll see you later," Peter said with a wave. Dean waved back absently. Lilly came back a few moments later, a smile still on her face.

"I'm going to go get a drink," Sam said in Dean's ear, giving him a look that said _stay here _as he passed.

Lilly watched Sam's retreating form before turning to Dean. "Sorry I left you back there," she said. Dean grunted. "Peter's a sweet guy." She seemed a little defensive.

"Who is he, anyway?"

Lilly sighed. "I worked with him. He's always had a thing for me, but he never made anything of it… He's really shy."

_Who'd have thought,_ Dean thought sarcastically.

"Anyway, he's always been nice."

"That's good."

Lilly nodded.

There was an awkward silence, and the band started playing a slow song with a violin. Lilly glanced at Dean, then looked away, and Dean looked at her a moment later.

"You wanna dance?" Dean felt, for the first time, like a dorky high school kid who didn't know anything.

"Sure." Lilly replied. Dean missed the slight smile and bright-eyed look on her face.

Dean circled his arm around Lilly's waist and avoided making eye contact. Finally, he glanced down and met her eyes, and couldn't look away. He pulled her a little closer and gave her half a smile, which she returned. Before he could stop himself, he was brushing a wisp of hair that had fallen down out of her face. She swept away an invisible piece of dust from the lapel of his suit.

Sam watched his brother from a distance, a drink in his hand. He was infinitely jealous of Dean, with Lilly gazing up at him as if he made the sun rise. Dean probably didn't recognize how she felt, or care, but to Sam it was painfully obvious.

He doubted Dean felt the way about Lilly that she felt about him, no matter what he said about her meaning a lot to him. Dean just wasn't like that, especially now that he had Michael to deal with.

Hell had made Dean harsh and cold, and at the same time weak and vulnerable. Sam knew that if Dean would actually acknowledge his own capacity for emotion and let someone help him, it would change him completely. But Sam also knew that Dean was too proud to let anyone do that, especially someone like Lilly.

So Sam resigned himself, for the hundredth time, to watch a woman he cared about- more than any in a long time- fall head over heels for a man that was too damaged and afraid to see what was staring him the face.

_ Thanks for the great reviews! I *love* hearing feedback, and it helps me write better, so keep it coming! By the way, new episode on tonight (5-6); SO EXCITED. Also, if anyone is catching the extremely slight cross-over reference I'm using in this story, let me know. I want to know who's caught on. Thanks for reading, please review!_


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

They arrived back at the hotel later than expected; Lilly wanted ice cream after they left and Dean was too tired to protest. Besides, he wasn't opposed to the idea himself.

Sam collapsed instantaneously, and was soon snoring. Dean guessed not having frequent cases was making his brother a couch potato.

_We need to fix that,_ Dean thought grimly, knowing they couldn't go much longer without doing something.

Lilly yawned and smiled at him. "Thanks for coming tonight," she said.

"It's cool," Dean replied. He didn't tell her that he'd actually enjoyed himself, and had been hit several times with the same recurring realization: _This is what life would be like if…_He'd come up with a few different "if" scenarios.

After changing clothes, Dean flopped on the couch and flipped channels, settling on Top Gun. Lilly emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later wearing shorts and a t shirt.

Without really thinking, Dean scooted over on the couch to make room for Lilly. She sat without looking at him, focused on the TV. They watched in silence for a while, and Dean felt his eyelids starting to get heavy. Glancing at Lilly, he saw that she was already curled up and asleep. When she didn't wake up to a light shake on the shoulder, Dean turned off the TV, deciding any further watching wasn't worth it. Carefully he lifted Lilly up in his arms and carried her across the room, and set her lightly on the bed, pulling the covers around her gently.

He dragged himself back across the room and lay back down on the couch, tossing the blanket over himself and shrugging it around his shoulders. Dean was almost asleep when he remembered to take his phone out of his pocket. He was a little surprised when he saw the message light blinking.

Dialing voicemail, Dean wondered who would be calling him. His unspoken question was answered when Bobby's voice greeted him. He felt his stomach and his heart sinking as he heard the older man's voice.

_"Hey, son, I just wanted you to know I've been worried about you for a while now. Ever since you brought up that crap about dreamwalkers, I've been thinking, and I did some research. Turns out, there's a whole lot I didn't know, and some of it could maybe help us out. On the other hand, though, there's some bad news… There's some omens and things that I'm not likin' the look of. It looks like something big, and something bad- maybe Horseman bad. I don't know, but call me back when you get this. Goodnight."_

Dean's sleep that night was fitful and unpleasant, but he didn't know that things were far worse for Chuck. The prophet drank himself into a blundering stupor the night before to relieve his headaches and full-on visions, and then collapsed on his living room couch in the wee hours of the morning.

His nightmares were vivid and bloody. Lilly was constantly in his head lately, and though Chuck was less afraid of her after meeting her, the things he'd heard from the angels and even demons about her made his skin crawl. In all honesty, Chuck was terrified of Lilly. Unlike Sam and Dean, Chuck knew a little about dreamwalkers. He knew how thousands of years before they had single-handedly brought once great nations to their knees, and that even though they were thought to have died out, many still lived, lurking in the shadows of the human world.

The particular nightmare Chuck was suffering from was one that scared him more than he could imagine. In it, a tall, thickly built man in a white suit driving a white car cruised throughout a burned city, with buildings toppling as he passed, and people screaming their death cries on the side of the road. His eyes were solid white, yet they seemed to move in a way that made Chuck shudder. The man smiled wickedly and flicked a hand here and there at particular people. Some keeled over dead, and others began killing those around them. He commanded them with a flick of the wrist, and they jumped at his beck and call. The fires glinted off a gold earring hanging from his left ear, and large rings sat on his fingers. One, in particular, Chuck couldn't seem to stop focusing on.

It was a gold band that broadened in the center. A design was stamped or carved into it, and in the light of the fires, Chuck finally saw what it was. In it, some sort of animal growled and was coiled to pounce out of its metal prison. It looked familiar, but Chuck couldn't place from where. Cries escaped him in his sleep when his subconscious mind recognized the ring. The animal embossed on its surface was a skeletal lion.

Dean worried the next morning when Bobby wouldn't answer the phone. He'd tried calling several times now, and on several different lines.

"Dammit, answer the phone, Bobby!" Dean yelled at Bobby's answering machine for the fourth time. Sam was typing away on his laptop, and Lilly was sitting on the bed flipping through one of their research books. Both of them lifted their heads to speak at the same time, and Sam motioned for Lilly to go ahead.

"You two do know it's Christmas Eve, right?" she said, her eyes flicking from Dean to Sam.

"So?" Dean said.

"So… Maybe he's out for the day."

Dean shook his head. "Nah. He wouldn't go anywhere." Lilly shrugged and turned back to the book. Dean turned to Sam. "Whatcha got?"

Sam moved the computer so Dean could see. "I found a case,"

Dean skimmed the newspaper article, smiling as he read on. He slapped a hand against the table when he finished, openly grinning. Lilly glanced up, one eyebrow quizzically raised. Dean looked back excitedly. "Pack up your bags. We're headed to Alabama."

Lilly watched Dean; her eyebrow still raised, and made no move to get up. She just watched with infuriating stillness.

"Come on, princess, get your ass moving!" Dean motioned with his hands for her to get up. Lilly sighed, threw what few clothes were sitting out in her bag, and gathered up the rest of her things. She gave Dean a longsuffering look when she finished, and sat back down. He scowled. "What's your problem?"

"It's Christmas Eve. I'm tired. I don't want to spend more long hours in a vehicle listening to you and your brother argue over the color of the sky."

Dean huffed. Sam chuckled, and covered his mouth with his hand when Dean rounded on him.

"Just go get in the car."

Twenty minutes later, they were checked out the hotel and on the bypass to the highway. Lilly was still flipping through books, and Sam was studying his laptop.

"So what are chasing, exactly?" Lilly asked from the back without looking up. Dean glanced at her in the rearview mirror. The light snow falling outside the rear window made Dean think of Christmases of many years ago, when he still had his Dad. He quickly shook away the memory.

"Looks like a werewolf," Dean said. Lilly's eyes flicked up to meet his.

"A werewolf?"

"Yep," Dean grinned.

"You seem pretty happy for someone going after a killer dog."

"Come on, haven't you seen The Wolfman? This is pretty much as badass as it gets for me."

"Wow, Dean Winchester admitting his own limits."

Dean shot her a dirty look in the mirror. She was smirking. He faked a laugh and then rolled his eyes at her. He was excited about werewolf hunting.

They rolled into Jasper, Alabama later that night. Sam had slept for most of the ride after he'd given them the rest of details, and then Dean and Lilly had talked about Madison- Dean explained that Sam was likely to be wary of the case, but that both he and Dean knew that walking away from something like this was forbidden.

When Lilly had asked why, Dean didn't answer for a moment. After a few minutes, he answered: "Just what our Dad taught us." Lilly didn't ask any more questions.

Dean checked them into a motel, and when Sam had clearly established that he was ready to turn in for the night, Dean started to follow suit. Lilly seemed to linger, and then stepped towards the door.

"I'm gonna go walk around," she said slowly. Dean frowned. It was the middle of the night. Even though their motel was situated among little shops and cafes, he thought it was odd that Lilly would want to wander around at almost midnight.

He made a split-second decision. "I'm coming with you," he said.

They walked down the deserted street, with Lilly occasionally pointing out interesting things. Dean was surprised at her observation, knowing he would never notice things like that on his own: the child's handprints pressed into the sidewalk while the cement was still wet, complete with a date- 9/24/56. The pair of initials carved into the telephone pole. The falcon sitting high up on a cell tower. The ivy beginning to crawl up the side of an old building.

They were things Dean never would have noticed, and wouldn't have cared about. But Lilly made them seem interesting, miraculous; as if they were the only people to discover them.

Finally, after walking probably fifteen blocks, Lilly steered them into a small café. The lights were low and yellowy, and as she opened the door, laughter trickled out. A woman with intricate tattoos on her arms and hands was playing a guitar soulfully in a corner, and a tall man, also heavily tattooed, told them could sit wherever they liked.

"What made you pick this place?" Dean asked.

Lilly settled herself into a booth close to the guitar-playing woman. "The paintings outside the door," she said, "And the lights." She glanced appreciatively around the small room. The stools and tables were all painted individually, some with designs and handprints, others with pictures. It looked to all be original work.

Dean nodded. He'd never been in a place quite like this- there were bones and masks hanging on the walls, and though it unnerved him, he got the feeling that there was nothing evil here.

Lilly brushed a hand over what looked like an ancient necklace hanging on the wall next to her.

"It's from Africa," the tall man's voice interrupted. "From an ancient tribe."

Lilly smiled and nodded. "It's beautiful," she glanced around the room again. "Is all of this real?" She asked.

The man smiled at her, but didn't answer. Lilly jumped slightly, and looked up at the man's face, startled. He smiled wider, and the smile touched his eyes. Dean didn't have a clue what was going on. He felt for the gun in his jacket, his hand on it, just in case. The man glanced to him.

"My name is Emilio." He said softly. He motioned to Dean's jacket. "You won't need that here, friend," He gave Dean a slight smile. "I'll be back in a minute with coffee." Lilly started to say something, but Emilio turned back and cut her off with another smile and a shake of his finger. "And hot chocolate," With that he turned and headed behind the counter.

Dean's jaw hung open as his gaze followed Emilio, and then his head whirled to face Lilly. "What the hell just happened?"

Lilly was blushing slightly. "He's like me," she said quietly, her voice full of wonder.

Dean was lost. "What?"

Lilly cleared her throat. "He's a dreamwalker, like I am," she said, raising her eyes to meet Dean's.

Dean frowned. From he thought he knew, it wasn't exactly common. And Lilly just walked into a coffee shop with one, if not more? No. That didn't happen. He was about to open his mouth and say something, but Emilio came back and set a steaming pot and two cups on the table.

"If you're wondering," Emilio began, brushing a long strand of dark hair from his face, "I helped pull her here. No coincidence."

Dean stared at the man, slack-jawed. Emilio simply gazed peacefully back, his fingers twisting the ends of his ponytail.

"Dude, you gotta quit doing that."

Emilio laughed. "I'm used to answering questions, even if they're not yet asked."

Dean was freaked out, but he still didn't think the man was a danger to them. Lilly smiled and thanked Emilio when he poured her a cup of hot chocolate, then topped it with whipped cream. He winked as he left the table. Dean jealously watched his retreating form, and almost choked when he saw Lilly gazing after him.

"What?" She asked defensively.

Dean shook his head. "Nothing," He glanced over across the room, and noticed the woman with the guitar had stopped playing. The woman was looking around the room, and Dean noticed that her eyes had the unfocused look he'd seen before.

She was blind.

Nonetheless, the woman fixed her eyes on Dean and Lilly, and strode purposefully towards them. Her hair and eyes were dark, and the tattoos Dean had noticed earlier curled around her chest and back as well.

She stopped at their table, her sightless eyes moving from Lilly to Dean. Dean's concern rose.

"You are the one of which the prophet speaks." She said in Lilly's direction. Dean groaned internally.

"Yes," Lilly answered carefully. The woman spoke again, in an accent and manner that made both Lilly and Dean think she learned English as a second language. She took Lilly's hand, and stared into Lilly's eyes. Lilly could only stare back.

"Do what you need to do. You will know. Do not be afraid, you will be able to do it." The woman squeezed Lilly's hand, and then began to turn. "It won't be easy, you know." The woman glanced down, then nodded and turned away.

"I know," Lilly said, so quietly Dean barely caught it. She was watching the swirls in her drink, and didn't look up for a long time. When she did, Dean saw the raw emotion ripping through her reflected in her eyes. Pure fear, mixed with dread.

_ Sorry it always takes so long to update! Hopefully everyone is still enjoying it, and if you have __**any **__comments, please, tell me. I'd love to hear, so review! Also, no feedback on what the little cross-over reference is… Guess no one's caught it yet! Anyway, the season finale was fantastic, but I'm SO relieved they're doing Season 6. Can't wait!_


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

"What the hell are do you mean, you can't find it?" Dean almost screeched into the phone, speaking to the local chief of police. Despite the fact that he and Lilly had gotten back late the night before, they'd gotten an early start on searching out the werewolf.

"Well, you better find it quick, pal, or my department is going to be all over your ass!" Dean shouted, slamming the phone shut.

"What was that about?" Lilly asked, concerned. Dean huffed.

"Apparently, the body is gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"I mean, it up and walked out on them; what the hell do you think I mean? I mean they lost it, or something took it, or something happened to it, and I don't know what the hell did!" Dean finished his tirade and sat down next to Lilly, his breath leaving him in a defeated _whoosh _of air.

Sam turned towards him. "Why would a werewolf steal a body back? Didn't it already eat the… the heart?" He still seemed uncomfortable with the notion.

"Yeah!" Dean said, as if it were obvious. He had usually found small-town cops to be ignorant, close-minded, or both, with a few exceptions. This was not looking to be one of them.

Lilly sighed loudly. "I'm guessing they don't usually do that?" She asked.

"No." Dean replied. "I've never heard of one doing that." His eyes moved exhaustedly upwards with Lilly as she stood up, brushing down her shorts.

"Well," she said matter-of-factly, "I think we need to go have a word with the Jasper Police Department."

Dean had honestly tried to act professionally from the start, but with Lilly strutting around in her black dress that looked far too tight around the middle to be comfortable, it was a losing battle. He didn't know where she kept getting all the clothes she wore to talk to police, or pretend to be with the FBI, and impersonate everyone else in the book, but so far, everyone was buying it. Willingly.

Stealing another glance at the ever-so-slight amount of cleavage visible when Lilly leaned across the desk to examine the crime scene photos, Dean didn't have to wonder why.

"Did anyone notice this before?" Lilly asked to no one in particular. She tapped her index finger to a corner of one of the photographs. Dean and Sam instantly leaned over to glance at it as well.

Dean's elbow brushed against her ribs as he turned his chair to get a better look, and Lilly started slightly. "Sorry," he whispered. She just turned back to the picture. Sam was frowning, and the balding cop sitting across from all of them looked at a loss.

"Look, Miss Greene-" he began.

"Agent," Lilly said absently, not looking up from the picture.

"Alright, _Agent_ Greene, what exactly are you all looking into this for? What does the FBI care about a simple animal attack?" He looked tired and frazzled, and Dean supposed the man had a reason to be, but he didn't miss Lilly's look of disapproval at the man's tone.

"Sir, may I remind you that while we at the FBI _greatly _appreciate all you do for your individual districts, we retain the right to examine any case, at any time, for any reason?" She didn't raise her head, but her eyes briefly flicked up to meet the man's.

"No, miss, I didn't know-"

"Once again, Agent. And when we have the evidence we need, we will gladly inform you of the nature of our investigation. However, at present, we ask that you kindly back off, and allow us to do our job."

"But miss-"

"That will be all, sir, but I'm afraid we'll need to take these with us." Lilly said, standing, snapping the case folder containing the pictures shut.

Though Dean noted the change in the way Lilly spoke and carried herself from the time they'd entered the building, Sam noticed it for what it was- either intentionally or not, Lilly had slipped into complete control of the situation, sounding much like many of the lawyers at Stanford had. Lilly played the role that they'd been playing for years much more convincingly than they probably ever had in the past.

Lilly marched to the car, her heels clicking on blacktop. She climbed into the backseat, and visibly relaxed.

"So what did you see?" Dean hadn't spotted anything while they were inside, and he turned towards the backseat before buckling his seatbelt.

Lilly flipped open the manila folder and took out a single picture. She indicated a spot in the corner, near the victim's sprawled hand. There a smudge of blood that to Dean looked pretty consistent with the other evidence, given the victim's heart had been ripped out. Lilly was watching for his reaction. Sam's eyebrows were furrowed.

"Okay?" Dean met Lilly's gaze. Her green eyes pierced him, and he saw a hint of something- and pushed it away. _Not now,_ he told himself.

"See how's it smeared like that? That's not the normal splatter pattern consistent with the wounds. And you said the werewolves have a basically human anatomy, right? Well, that's no handprint, or footprint. It's too large and widespread. A footprint would be longer; a handprint narrower."

Dean studied the picture for a minute. Sam peered over his shoulder. "She's right," Sam announced. Dean puzzled over the picture for another moment.

"Sam, you don't know, it could mean something else, it could be one of the cops smeared it-"

"Dean, she's right," Sam said, quieter. Dean looked at his brother. He briefly wondered if Sam was thinking of Madison.

"Okay," Dean said, not wanting to argue with his brother.

Sam and Lilly were pouring over newspapers and Internet articles, looking for anything that would give them a clue as where to start looking. Dean had walked into town to try to get some information on the recent death and body snatching.

Lilly sighed. Sifting through the same information over and over was getting tiresome. Terry Griffin, age thirty six. Middle class job. Unmarried, no known relationships. Sister in Pennsylvania. Everyone shocked and horrified. No clue where his body went.

Sam seemed to be having the same problems; Lilly watched him rub a hand over his face in an attempt to keep himself awake. His phone rang, breaking the still silence. Sam flipped open the phone, and upon realizing it was Dean, put it on speaker.

"Yeah, Dean, what's up?" He asked. Loud music was playing in the background, and Sam was beginning to think that switching to speaker phone had been a bad idea.

_"Sammy!" _Dean called out in a voice that was screamed drunkenness. Sam heard a woman giggle. He groaned. _"I'm at the bar-" _unsteady pause- _"at the bar down the street. Where are you?"_

"In the hotel room. With Lilly." Sam tried to put emphasis on Lilly's name, knowing that normally it would have an effect.

_"Listen, Sammy, I need you two to get out of the room."_

"Why?"

_"Because you aren't gonna wanna be in there when I am!" _Dean slurred, the woman giggling again. Sam tried to ignore the pained look on Lilly's face, and her eyes burning into the side of his head.

"Dean, just come back, and get some sleep."

_"Trust me, Sammy, there won't be much sleeping going on…" _Dean's voice trailed off, and the line went dead.

Sam stood up and grabbed his laptop and the nearest newspapers. "Let's go."

"Where?" Lilly asked quietly.

"The car," Sam replied gently. When Lilly looked at him defiantly, he spoke again. "Lilly, he's drunk. I can't help what he does. Would you rather be here and have to see it for yourself?"

Lilly seemed to agree, and stood as well.

A few minutes later, they were sitting in the front seat of the Impala, watching the hotel entrance. There had been no sign of Dean yet.

Sam was starting to doze off, but woke up to the sound of loud, raucous laughter. Lilly followed his gaze, and felt the hope go out of her like air from a popped balloon.

Dean was walking- if swaying drunkenly could be described as walking- towards the hotel, a scantily clothed blonde on his arm. She was pressed against him, her ample chest practically attached to him.

Lilly put her head in her hands.

Sam reached a comforting arm around her shoulders, and at first, she tried to shrug it off, but then she let him pull her to his chest. The tears fell silently. Sam wrapped his other arm around her as well, cradling her head under his chin. He felt her shaking with the tears she'd kept back for half a year. Her arms reached around him, trying to escape her pain by pressing herself closer to him. She looked up at him briefly.

"This is a crappy way to spend Christmas," she said quietly through her tears.

Sam had forgotten it was even Christmas. He stroked her hair. "I know," he said soothingly. "Merry Christmas," he added, offering her a small smile. She tried in vain to return it, and the tears returned.

"You know," Sam started, trying to sound gentle, "he hasn't done this in a long time, and before you came along it was literally all the time…" He trailed off. Lilly looked up at him, her face wistful and almost angry.

"Sam, I love him."

Sam had known it for a while, but hearing her say it killed the one little spark of hope he'd been holding onto.

"I know, Lil."

Her eyes overflowed with tears again, and he pulled close. Eventually her breathing evened out, and her bright green eyes closed. Her cheeks were still damp, and Sam brushed across them with his thumb, trying to give her comfort even if it was just in her sleep.

Sam dozed off a few minutes later, still cradling Lilly to his chest. She woke up with a little start, and tried not to wake Sam as she moved around in the car to get more comfortable. Unable to drift back to sleep, she thought about what the prophet, Chuck, had said to her: _Lilly needs to get stronger._

Why not work on it now?

Lilly focused her energy and took a deep breath. She had an idea, and while she knew that in the morning she'd have to pay for it, now it would give her some satisfaction, if not amusement.

Using most of her strength, she focused on Dean. She quickly slipped into his mind, seeing what he'd seen and thinking what he'd thought. She saw the crowded, noisy bar, heard him order a beer and a shot of Johnny Walker, and three similar orders later, heard his exchanged with the blonde woman who had strutted up to him. Lilly almost choked with disgust at the woman. _No taste at all, _she thought bitterly of Dean.

Taking a new direction, she focused on the woman. Lilly quickly learned her name was Amber, and nights like the one she'd just spent with Dean weren't exactly a rarity. Lilly forced back both disturbance and tears when she had to see the details.

Amber was sleeping soundly, curled up in Dean's arms. Lilly viciously wished she were in the woman's place, but then reminded herself that Dean likely had no feelings other than lust for this woman. She focused on that.

Lilly wondered how angry Dean was going to be at what she was considering; he might kick her out again. Or shoot her. Or both. Lilly found she didn't care.

With that, she gave Amber a nudge and the beginnings of a nightmare that woke her up. It only took another small nudge for Amber to rise up out of bed, and sucker punch Dean hard enough to wake him up.

Since Lilly was pushing Amber through Dean's mind, Dean's thoughts overwhelmed her for a moment. Lilly was taken aback. Dean's version of the previous night flashed before her eyes, and though the woman with him was clearly Amber, the woman Dean had seen in his mind was not.

Lilly saw her own green eyes staring back at her.

_Thanks for the reviews! Please keep them coming; they're an inspiration. Tiny spoiler alert- the story is finally moving in the direction of the "big picture" I'd been imagining. Then things will really start to get exciting. As always, if you have any comments or questions, please share._


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Dean was angry. He was also hung-over. But mostly angry. Amber had left in the middle of the night, and Dean had sneaking suspicion why. But that argument was for another day. Now, he needed to yell at his brother.

Flipping open his phone, he punched buttons hard enough that his hand was shaking. If what he thought had happened really had, Sam wouldn't have to worry about losing his soul to the devil. Dean would kill him first.

Sam knew what Lilly could do- part of it, anyway. He'd talked to Chuck. _He doesn't know about the nightmares,_ Dean thought. Then again, for all he knew, Sam could be having them as well. To the point, Sam knew what the risks were for letting her do something like that.

_"Hello?"_ It was Lilly's voice, dripping false sweetness.

"Tell Sam to get in here. Now."

_"Sure thing."_ She said in a singsong tone.

"Don't think I'm not going to talk to you too. After I'm done with him, we're going for a drive."

Lilly didn't respond, and a minute later Sam answered groggily.

"Get your ass up here, now."

A few minutes later Sam was sitting on one of the hotel room beds, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, as Dean paced angrily in front of him.

"Do you know what she did?" Dean snapped as he stopped in front of Sam. Sam looked back impatiently.

"I'm guessing she got into that bimbo's head and did something."

"Yeah, Sam! What were you thinking, letting her do something like that?"

Sam rose to his feet. "I didn't _let_ her do anything! I couldn't have stopped her even if I'd known she was doing it, and you know it!"

"Well, pay more attention to her! She could have gotten somebody hurt!"

"Oh, please, Dean, she's not stupid, and the only thing that got hurt was your ego." Under his breath, Sam mumbled, "And you deserved it."

"What was that, Sammy?"

"I said you deserved it!"

"What the hell did I do?"

Sam's eyes flashed with anger, and he took a step closer, his voice menacing. "You're killing her, Dean. I see it, you can see it, and you're not doing a damn thing about it."

"How? What the hell did I do to her? Explain to me what the hell I'm doing wrong!"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the first girl you've looked at as more than a one night stand in _years _actually feels something for you, and you shoot her down? After everything she's been through?"

"Why are you sticking up for her?"

Sam flung his hands in the air, and Dean crossed his arms defensively. "Let me tell you what I have to see every single day, Dean- I see you killing yourself from the inside out over this Michael thing, and I see her hating herself for what she is. I see this smart, beautiful girl, who's actually willing to help pull you out of the pit you've thrown yourself into, only to be shot down and hurt because you can't admit that you need help."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "That so, Sammy?"

Sam nodded firmly.

"If she means so much to you, why don't you just go for her?" Dean asked suspiciously.

Sam rolled his eyes. "You're really going to ask me that?"

"Well, I don't see an answer, so, yeah, I am."

"You really don't see it?"

"What the hell am I supposed to be seeing? No, I don't see a damn thing!"

Sam stayed silent for a moment, looking his brother in the eyes, searching for an answer.

"Fine. I see something I can't have and don't deserve."

Sam snorted. "As much as I want to agree, Lilly thinks differently."

"What do you mean?"

"She loves you, Dean."

"Bullshit."

"Nope." Sam felt some pain saying it, but deep down he knew it was what his brother needed to hear.

"How?" The question took Sam back. He had expected more anger, more denying, and more avoidance. But not that.

"What do you mean, how?"

Dean lowered his eyes and his voice, and his tone made Sam realize he wasn't taking it as a joke.

"You said it yourself. She's smart, and beautiful, and she could have anyone she wanted- someone who has a normal life, and a normal job, and who doesn't do what we do, and would never have to know what she is."

Sam sighed. "Why can't you all just face up to what you're both feeling and just talk it out?"

Dean smiled wistfully. "You know I can't do that, Sammy."

"Why not?"

"I can't drag somebody else into this life. I won't get that girl killed."

"She was in it before you came along, Dean."

Dean started to open his mouth, but then closed it and just shook his head. "Just… No. It can't work out."

Sam started to protest, but the pain in his brother's eyes stopped him.

Lilly was waiting for Dean in the parking lot, leaning against the car. Despite the overcast day and chilly wind, she was still only wearing her torn jeans and t shirt, not shivering at all. When she saw Dean, her chin rose and her eyes narrowed defiantly.

"Get in the car," Dean said flatly. Lilly didn't say a word and for a moment stood rooted against the driver's side door, but when Dean gave her a longsuffering look she moved out of the way.

They drove in silence for a few minutes before Dean pulled into an empty parking lot several blocks away. Once he'd pulled the key from the ignition, he rubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

Lilly was staring absently out the window; her green eyes fixed the shifting clouds in the distance. Dean watched her from the corner of his eye, noting the way her purple shirt made her red-brown hair stand out. He briefly recalled what he and Sam had talked about, and quickly pushed it from his mind.

"I'm sorry," Lilly said quietly, still watching the clouds. Her hands were folded curtly on her lap, and absently she brushed a piece of hair back from her face. Dean watched her deliberate movements, knowing she had more to say and not wanting to rush her into leaving things out.

"I was angry, and upset, and it was foolish of me," she said, speaking slowly. He'd never heard her use that tone; if she was upset, it was usually a sobbing wail or furious screech. "I know what you're thinking; that I did something careless that could have gotten someone hurt. Maybe my reasons were careless, but I had perfect control of the situation. I'm better at this than you think." Lilly finally met his eyes, the defiance in them burning a little stronger.

"Do you know why your… What you do bugs me?" Dean asked. He didn't add that it scared him as well.

Lilly shook her head, her hair moving softly with the motion.

"Sam told you all about the whole thing with him dying, and how I made a deal to save him…" He waited for her to nod again. "Well, it's a long story and not all of it is important, but the point is that the demon that killed our mom wanted Sam." Lilly watched him with unreadable eyes.

"Azazel- the demon- had a plan for kids like Sam, and he made them fight it out to see who was strongest, and all of their moms had died just like mine and Sam's, in a fire, and they all had the same psychic abilities…" Dean trailed off. "What I'm getting at is that Sam had some crazy stuff he could do. After that, it was the demon blood. Then it really started going to hell. Just… With what we do… Honestly, it scares the hell out of me when the people I work with and live with, people who know what I do, can do things that by all normal standards, they shouldn't be able to do." Dean searched Lilly's eyes for any hint of what she was thinking.

Finally, a wisp of wistful smile touched her lips. "I was born like this, Dean," she said quietly. "I can't change that. I was born into this like you were born into hunting."

Dean nodded. "I know what Chuck said, about you getting stronger. It just doesn't make sense that throwing ourselves farther into this Apocalypse thing is going to help us stop it."

"Chuck's right," Lilly said, her eyes locked with Dean's. Dean raised an eyebrow. "I know Sam has an idea, and if it's even close to what I think it is, then I can't just sit here not doing anything and hope that when the time comes I can handle it."

"Well, can you warn us next time you want to practice?" Dean let the smallest hint of a smile reach his face.

Somewhere deep down, a voice in his head was screaming at him that this was all wrong, that this went against everything he'd always known, everything his dad had taught him, and all of his gut instincts. However, he couldn't bring himself to give it the slightest bit of sway in his mind.

Lilly was nodding to him. "Does this mean you're finally okay with me? With… What I am?"

Dean gave her a wicked grin. "Hell, no."

Lilly's face fell.

"But it does mean that this time, you get a free pass."

Lilly didn't say anything, just watched him with eyes that made him feel like she could see everything he'd ever thought or done. For all he knew, maybe she could.

Dean's phone ringing interrupted what he was about to say. Recognizing the number as that of the Jasper PD, he flipped open the phone. "Agent Tyler," he answered.

He nodded several times, saying "uh-huh" at the appropriate pauses, and eventually met Lilly's eyes. He looked concerned. She tilted her head to one side, wondering what the police officer was telling him.

Dean snapped the phone shut, answering Lilly's unspoken question. "Got another body," he said by way of explanation. She nodded.

"Same type of thing? Looks like an animal attack?"

"Yep. Said we should check it out."

"Let's go."

The animosity between the two quickly melted away into efficient partnership, and when Dean finally noticed the lack of tension, he wondered for a moment where it had gone. Normally, in a situation like this one, he would steam over it for hours, thinking he'd failed in his duty to eradicate such things from the world, but he was finding himself pulled more and more towards a reluctant, if not unwilling, acceptance of Lilly's abilities. He found that he was coming to be able to simply chalk it up to something else to be dealt with, like Sam's destiny with Azazel had been, and recognized that it was out of his control.

With a slight chill, Dean noted that while he had been able to handle Sam's connections to the yellow-eyed demon in a controlled fashion, Sam's demon blood addiction had been something else entirely. That, he was not okay with, and if Lilly's situation ever escalated to a matter of the same magnitude, he told himself he would handle it.

It took him several moments to shake his previous nightmares from his mind.

After stopping back to the hotel to change clothes and pick up Sam, the three arrived at the scene about an hour later. This time, the killing had happened about halfway between Jasper and nearby town of Kimberly, leaving Dean wondering what a werewolf was doing with such a wide hunting ground. They usually stayed within a few blocks.

"Hey, come look at this," Lilly called. She was crouched over a small pool of blood near the body, her gloved hands making notes on a clipboard.

Dean followed to where she pointed, and saw a smear of blood similar to the one that had been in the photos of the last case. It clearly wasn't made by human hands, or a shoeprint. The smear was huge.

Lilly quickly snapped a picture of it with that camera she'd pulled from her bag. Dean began to wonder if maybe CSI investigation was a guilty pleasure for her.

Tucking the camera back into her bag, Lilly glanced up at Dean. Seeing the slight confusion on his face, she leaned in. "I took a semester of forensics while I was in college at Princeton," she whispered. Sam's head turned towards them and cocked to one side; Lilly gave him a dismissing motion with her hand before turning back to the pool of blood on the ground.

Sam gave Dean a questioning look; Dean just shrugged. He peered over Lilly's shoulder, watching her study the ground from different angles, trying to find a pattern. A jolt of recognition made him point.

"Hey, look," he said, gesturing to the center of the pool. "What the hell is that?" He asked more quietly. Lilly and Sam's attention immediately went the where Dean was pointing, and Sam frowned when he realized what Dean was getting at. It took Lilly only a second longer.

"Well," Sam began, "Guess it's not a werewolf." Dean nodded in agreement.

In the center of the pool of blood, there was a huge paw print, clearly from a dog and not a werewolf. If not for the almost comical size of the print, Dean would have shuddered, because it reminded him all too much of hellhounds.

Back at their hotel, the three had quickly dived into research. Sam was scouring the internet on his laptop, and Dean and Lilly poured over books and John Winchester's journal. Lilly hadn't alerted the cops about what they'd found; they were already searching for some kind of dog, anyway.

Dean looked up. "What about a black dog?" Sam's eyes flicked up from his research.

"No, there'd be signs of a spirit. No one has reported flickering lights, cold spots, anything like that."

"What about this?" Lilly asked. She was pointing to a drawing in an old book of huge shaggy dog, with red eyes and menacing teeth.

"A shriker?" Dean questioned, reading the caption below the picture. Lilly nodded.

"It says it's a hellhound that's managed to break loose and kills on its own."

Dean couldn't stop the shudder that time. "How do we kill it?"

"Silver knife."

"Can we see it?" He asked. Lilly looked confused. "Hellhounds can't be seen by anyone but the person they're coming for," he added.

She shrugged. "I guess. They're not killing for demons, so there wouldn't be one specific person they're after." Brushing her hair out of her eyes, she continued. "If we can't see it, I can find it." She said with a deadly look set in her eyes. Before Dean or Sam could protest, she headed for the door, saying she was going out to get something to drink.

Dean turned to his brother. "How's she know about hellhounds?"

Sam glanced back. "She knows about you going to hell, Dean," Sam said quietly. Dean didn't ask anything else. He picked up the book Lilly had set down, and began reading. It seemed like Lilly had been right; they should be able to see it. Also, the lore said that hellhounds were branded by the demon controlling them, so they should be able to find out who had dropped the leash.

"Dean, I got something." Sam turned the laptop towards Dean as he pulled out a cell phone and started dialing. Dean listened with half an ear as he read on. "Hi, this is Agent Cantrell with the FBI… We're investigating the animal attacks…" Sam kept talking, but Dean's attention focused on the article in front of him.

_Local of Kimberly spots beast, fears for safety._

Dean read on, his concern rising. Someone was offering a reward for being able to catch the "beast" and therefore save the neighborhood's children. The woman who'd seen it had three children herself, and Dean groaned when he read that the kids had seen it too. If they were wrong and only the people it was after could see it, that could turn into a problem. Dean turned to Sam when he heard the phone snap shut.

"That was animal control," his brother said with a grimace, "And they're beginning a search for this 'beast'." He looked meaningfully at Dean. "Tonight."

"Crap," Dean said. "All we need is a silver knife?" Sam nodded. "Let's go."

"What about Lilly?" Sam asked. Dean sighed.

"Find her, quick," he said. "I'm leaving in ten."

Sam met Dean in the parking lot with seconds to spare before the Impala sped out, and Dean was a little relieved that Lilly was right behind him. He didn't like the idea of her sitting alone, and possibly trying to look for the thing by herself.

They had about half of the day left before animal control swarmed through the woods around Kimberly, giving the shriker a buffet table of unknowing victims.

"Alright, so we known where the last three attacks have, and when put on a map they make a pretty vague triangle. Kimberly is at the southeast corner." Sam was telling Lilly and Dean, though Dean was more focused on the road. Sam went on. "In the middle of that triangle, there's a big section of land that's mostly fields and farms and old houses. And a crossroads." Sam added. "That's probably where the demon was doing business, and something happened to its hellhounds."

Lilly nodded. She was holding the silver knife in her lap. "So we'll be able to tell which demon controlled it?"

"Should be," Dean joined the conversation.

Soon they were pulling off onto a gravel road. On each side, there was a barbed wire fence, and after driving about a mile, they came to a turn off. Dean pulled the car into it and parked. He stepped out and surveyed the land around him. Like Sam said, it was mostly fields and farmland. Up ahead, he saw the beginning of what looked like a thick forest.

"That's probably where it's coming from," he said, nodding ahead. Sam nodded, and grabbed the shotgun from the trunk. He tossed a pistol to Lilly, who caught it deftly.

Dean checked the smaller handgun at his belt, then loaded the Winchester sawed-off. He thought it might be good luck to carry the gun with which he shared a name.

"Let's go."

Dean quickly hopped over the gate in the barbed wire fence, watching his step over the rusted cattle grate. Lilly and Sam followed suit. After hiking through the knee-high grass for several minutes, Dean could see more clearly the entrance to the foreboding trees. The dark forest looked to go on for miles, and Dean felt like he was entering something straight out of Friday the 13th.

When they reached the edge of the trees, Sam paused. He glanced around, sniffing the air. Dean did the same.

"Sulfur," Sam said to Lilly. Dean glanced into the dark woods ahead; the trees and bushes were so dense that it would be hard to see more than a dozen yards in front of them, even though the trees were bare because of the chilly winter. He tugged his jacket a little tighter around his shoulders.

Lilly pushed ahead, stepping lightly but quickly. Dean glanced at Sam grimly, then followed. Lilly always stayed ahead, looping around trees, searching the ground. Dean followed her without question. She was obviously on a path that only she could see or perceive, and Dean was a little surprised to see the big city doctor so completely in her element in the woods. Lilly moved almost soundlessly, and several times darted off to look at something else, but still was always ahead of Dean and Sam by several paces.

"Do you have any idea where we're going?" Sam asked from behind Dean. Dean turned back to shrug and shake his head, and almost ran into Lilly. She'd frozen in the middle of the trail. Dean glanced around and saw nothing, and started to push on ahead of her. Lilly's hand to the center of his chest stopped him.

"Come on, we have to find this thing," Dean said, moving forward again. He glanced at Sam; Sam was also looking around in confusion.

Suddenly Lilly slammed her hand into Dean, throwing him back into Sam. At the same time, she spun around and ducked, firing a shot off to her right. Dean, from his new vantage point on the ground, saw a dark shape darting off into the shadows. Quickly he sprung to his feet as struggled to keep up with Lilly, who was already running in the direction the hellhound had gone.

Dean had to make a conscious effort to keep from tripping, being smacked in the face by branches, or having thorns tear at his clothes. He shook his head as he wondered again how Lilly was moving so quickly and effortlessly ahead of him.

"Watch out!" Lilly called back. Dean glanced up and panicked for a moment when he didn't see her. He stopped short as Sam pulled up next to him, shotgun at the ready. Their heads both followed the sound of the shot to the left, and they saw Lilly jumping off a large rock and sprinting off into the woods once again. Dean felt his spine shiver when he heard an unearthly howl. It was strangled and gravelly, and he tried not to remember hearing that very sound as he had been dragged into hell.

Running as fast as he could through the thick trees, he was surprised when he suddenly ended up in a clearing. The clouds overheard made it only slighter brighter than it had been in the woods. At the edge of the trees, Lilly was poised with her gun leveled at the dark shape on the ground. Dean quickly crossed the clearing and stood beside her, taking in the horrifying dog as he had before.

The hellhound was huge, bigger than the ones Dean had dealt with. It was black and menacing, with a shaggy coat over rippling muscles. The teeth it was baring at Lilly dripped with blood; Dean wasn't sure of what. Its eyes were locked on Lilly's gun, and it hadn't seemed to notice Dean or Sam.

"What are you waiting for, shoot it!" Dean hissed at Lilly. She was frowning. The hellhound growled deep in it throat, and Dean started to push Lilly out of the way and shoot it himself. Lilly stopped him.

"Wait," she said quietly. Dean then noticed that the back of her shirt was ripped open, exposing most of her upper back.

Sam was standing a few feet back, gun aimed, ready to shoot. He, too, was watching Lilly, wondering what she was waiting for.

Inching around the hellhound, Lilly moved slowly until she was facing its side instead of head on. Its eyes followed her, but it didn't move. She was studying the brand on its hip- _SS_.

Her face visibly paled, and once again, Dean stepped forward. Lilly's eyes flicked to his, and he saw some unknown pain and torment in them.

"We need to get out of here," she whispered.

"As soon as someone shoots it!" Dean snapped back, taking aim. Lilly's hand lowered his arm. She was frowning again at the growling hellhound. It still hadn't made a move to attack them. Stepping in front of Dean, she asked, "Why hasn't it killed us yet?"

Dean didn't answer. He was staring at the tanned skin of Lilly's back, at her shoulder blade. Through her torn shirt, he could see the tattoo he'd asked her about right after they'd first found her- a crescent moon with… With a wolf's print. Or a hellhound's.

Dean yanked her back by her shirt. "Why didn't you tell us you could control it?"

Lilly was about to answer, but the hellhound leaped at Dean. Lilly simply waved her gun at it, and it backed off, still growling.

"I didn't know," she said, obviously shaken. "This isn't the case we thought it was. We need to get the hell out of this town." She began to turn back the way they'd come.

"What the hell- What are you doing, we have to kill it!" Dean exclaimed. He faced the hellhound, preparing to shoot. Lilly heard the gun's safety click off, and she spun back to Dean.

"Don't kill it!"

"Why the hell not!" Dean yelled. He was minutes away from shooting both Lilly and the hellhound. For a split second he panicked that maybe Lilly had been possessed all along; maybe she was the one controlling the hellhound; maybe Lucifer himself had sent her. But then he met her eyes and knew that wasn't the case.

"The hellhound was hooked to a demon. But it didn't break loose- it was set loose, to hunt something." Lilly's voice began to shake.

"What's it hunting?" Dean asked.

"Me," Lilly whispered. Dean leaned closer.

"Then why the hell can't I shoot it?"

Lilly sighed, her eyes still haunted. "The brand. The demon controlling it didn't lose it; he let it escape. If we kill it, the demon knows. He'll know where we are, and he'll come here and kill me." Dean stared, dumbfounded.

"A demon trained a hellhound to kill you?"

Lilly shook her head. "The hellhound can track me by my tattoo. The demon can track me by the hellhound."

Sam jumped in. "What's the tattoo have to do with it?"

"I got it just for fun; I didn't think it meant anything…." Dean glared. "It's supposed to be a nineteenth century hoodoo mark of a werewolf," she said quietly. "I guess hellhounds fell into that category."

"I still don't understand why I can't kill it!" Dean yelled, waving his gun.

Lilly's eyes were gripped with fear, and hatred. "The brand- _SS_. It's a demon's initials. It stands for Sebastian Slade." She spat out the name.

"Who the hell is that?" Dean asked. Lilly met his gaze with a fierce glare.

"He's the sick son of a bitch that kept me chained in a stone room for a month to torture me," Lilly was shaking, from anger or fear; Dean wasn't sure which.

Sam glanced at Dean. It was then that Dean remembered reading about Slade in Chuck's newest manuscript; he just hadn't had a name. Dean recalled the mental challenge he'd thrown out.

"He wants to finish the job, and he knows I'm with you." The panic in Lilly's voice was rising. "If we kill it, he'll know we're here. We have to get the hell out of here as fast as we can."

Dean looked back at the still snarling hellhound, then back at Lilly. "Alright," he finally conceded. "I'll call someone else and let them take the job."

Heading back towards the woods, Dean waiting for the growling to get quieter. When it didn't he began to turn. The next few moments were a complete blur.

_Please review! There was a lot of thinking and revision thrown into this one…Hope you all like it! Tell me what you think._


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

Dean whirled around to see the hellhound springing towards him, launching itself into the air to attack. The terror of that first moment was not from fear of what was to come, but the horror of living it again, after being torn to pieces by a hellhound once before. He couldn't imagine going through it a second time.

That terror was literally knocked out of him as he was sent sprawling to the ground for the second time that day. Once again, Lilly had pushed him out of the way, and for a moment Dean was frozen as he watched the hellhound over her, its teeth and claws tearing her open just as they'd done to him.

His temporary paralysis quickly wore off and he sprang to action, firing three rapid shots into the hellhound's head. It was dead after the first, but he kept firing anyway. Its branded hip gave him a speed he didn't know he had as he scooped Lilly up and took off across the clearing. He heard Sam behind him firing again, and prayed it wasn't at the demon.

As they entered the woods, Dean didn't allow himself to slow down any. Trees whipped by him, scratching his face. He paid no attention to the thorns snagging at his clothes. All he was aware of was Lilly's blood soaking through his shirt, and Sam behind him screaming to go faster.

In what seemed like a much shorter amount of time than on the way in, Dean reached the rusted gate. He had to slow only a little to climb the gate without jostling Lilly. From what he could tell under the blood, her eyes were closed. Tossing Sam the keys, he flung open the backseat door and climbed in.

Sam shoved the key in the ignition and threw the car in reverse, speeding backwards until they reached the main road. When they hit blacktop, Sam put the pedal to the floor and raced on, glancing in the rearview mirror at the rapidly shrinking turnoff.

Dean wiped the blood from Lilly's face, and his heart jumped when her eyes flickered open. It sank when her head rolled to the side, eyes closed once again. He glanced at her broken body, feeling helpless and guilty. This was what happened to people close to him.

With a sense of despair, he pulled his jacket off and placed it under her, then managed to peel off the tatters of her ruined shirt. Her stomach was ripped open, and blood was pouring onto the seats. He pulled off the outer shirt he had on, trying to wrap it around her stomach like a tourniquet. The blood quickly soaked through.

Digging under the seat, he grabbed an ancient first aid kit that he prayed still contained something useful. He searched through it as quickly as he could, and found some gauze and wrap. Without thinking, he pulled his now soaked shirt away, exposing Lilly's shredded stomach. He didn't see how she could possibly live.

Without the shirt to at least slow the bleeding, Dean's hands were soon slick with blood, just trying to wrap and bandage Lilly's wound. If her injuries alone didn't kill her, Dean was convinced she would bleed to death in a matter of minutes.

This thought spurred him on. He wrapped the bandage around her as tightly as he thought he could, using the entire roll. The ruined strap of her bra was causing the whole thing to continuously fall, partly due to Sam's reckless driving, so Dean pulled it off as well and tossed it in the floor with her shirt.

With her chest fully exposed, Dean saw a long slash that he'd missed before. _Dammit, _he thought desperately to himself. He felt a lump rising in his throat, and swallowed quickly, regaining focus.

Sam took a hard right turn and almost threw Dean in the seat in front of him.

"Sorry!" Sam shouted over the roar of the engine. Dean didn't reply. Instead, he pulled his t shirt over his head, and pressed it to Lilly's chest to stop the bleeding. He sat back exhaustedly when it looked like the blood had stopped.

"You think she'll make it?" Sam asked grimly from up front. Defeated, Dean met his brother's eyes in the mirror.

"I don't know," he answered in a choked voice.

Several hours later, Dean paced anxiously in a hospital waiting room in Birmingham. Sam sat in one of the seats, his head in his hands. Dean didn't hear the commotion going on around him; all he heard was the hellhound growling and snarling as it tore Lilly open… All because she'd jumped in the way to save Dean.

Guilt was choking him, and he wanted to scream at Sam that this way why he couldn't get involved with Lilly; this was what happened to anyone he tried to care about.

"Mr. Washington?" the doctor asked. Dean stopped pacing and faced the man. He tried to read the doctor's face, but couldn't.

"Is she going to be okay?" Dean asked, afraid to know the answer.

The doctor sighed before answering, and Dean's chest tightened painfully. "It'll be touch and go for a while. We managed to stop the internal bleeding, as well as stitch the outer wounds, but it was a horrific injury. She has about a fifty/fifty chance."

Dean nodded, his mind already moving on. "How long till she can leave?"

"At least a week, unless she improves drastically overnight."

"Thanks," Dean said, not really hearing himself. He walked away as if in a dream. Distantly, he heard Sam ask the doctor a few more questions, then thank him for his time, and then he felt his brother's hand clap to his shoulder. He hadn't realized he'd sat down and put his hands over his face.

"She'll be okay, Dean," Sam said. Dean shook his head.

"We need to get the hell away from here," he said, shaking his head to clear the terrifying images.

Sam looked at him incredulously. "Dean, we can't just leave her here…"

Dean was already standing. "We can, and we will. I'm not getting her killed." He began to walk away.

"Dean!"

He turned back. "Sam, being around me is going to kill her and I won't have that on my conscience. And who knows, us being around her could get us killed just as quick. I don't know why I didn't see that before, but we're leaving. End of story."

Sam just watched Dean walk away, his shoulders more slumped than usual and his head hanging. He knew the shame Dean felt; Sam had felt it- still felt it- after Jessica died. But Sam had come to realize that guilt and shame didn't save people, and he knew that Lilly was no exception. In the back of his mind, he wondered if Dean was right, but he also wondered how long it would take Dean to turn tail and run right back to Lilly. Deciding pushing the issue would only slow the process, Sam followed Dean out to the car.

"Do you even know where we're going?" Sam asked Dean, frustrated.

"Bobby's," Dean replied. They'd been driving northbound through a major storm for about an hour. He could tell Sam was about to ask more, but Dean turned the radio up as far as it would to drown him out. It didn't matter that the blasting Tarbox Ramblers song made his head feel like it was splitting in half. He didn't have to think about Lilly.

Through the whole drive, Dean had felt waves of guilt and regret crashing over him. He hated himself for leaving her at the hospital, for letting her come with them to the woods, for kissing her when he'd known he couldn't be with her, for throwing her out, and most of all for letting her stay with them. Seven months ago he should have left her in the town they'd found her, sped out of the parking lot, and never looked back. But no. He'd dragged her along with them, not even thinking about how it could go horribly wrong.

Looking back, he'd ever have imagined that he would let her hunt with them, that Chuck would know about her, or what she could do. He'd never have thought that she'd turn his world upside down and make him question everything he'd ever known. Almost grinning at the memory, he remembered that he'd almost torn Sam a new one when he'd found out about Sam and Ruby, while Dean had been in hell. How was Lilly any different?

In the back of his mind, he knew that Lilly wasn't evil and that it was completely different, but he continued to try to justify leaving her. Again.

Dean pounded his fist against the steering wheel in anguish, causing Sam to jump. He felt Sam's concerned eyes searching him, but he kept his eyes on the road, despite the fact that the road ahead was becoming blurry. Not wanting Sam to see how defeated he felt and how much he wanted to just let the car crash and be done with it all, Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and pushed the Impala on faster.

About two hundred miles back, Dean had switched places with Sam. He was leaning into the window, enjoying the chill of glass and the sound of the driving rain next to his ear. He'd decided they would take turns driving and try to drive straight to South Dakota without stopping. He knew Sam thought it was crazy, but his so far brother hadn't questioned him.

Staring out the window, Dean saw the lights flickering from a faraway town. They were slightly obscured through the storm, and Dean flinched when a crack of lightning, followed by the slap of thunder, lit up the sky. His mind began to drift to that place that's not quite yet asleep but is something less than awake, where memories haunted him but he couldn't control whether they came or went.

Eventually Dean fell asleep, tossing and turning in the seat with his nightmares.

_Lilly laughed lightly, a sound that made Dean think of bells. He couldn't help but smile. They were sitting on a big porch, on a swing, watching the sunset. Dean glanced out over the green grass of the back yard, smiling to himself as he listened to Lilly talk. She was explaining what she was doing at work, and while the details of it were far above Dean's understanding, it was her obvious passion for it that kept him focused. The spark in her eyes when she came home; the fiery determination when she had difficulties; they all let him know how much she loved what she did, and alluded to her tenacious outlook on life in general._

_ The sun was slowly sinking, leaving everything basked in a pinkish glow. Lilly leaned in closer to Dean, laying her head against his shoulder. Her hand found his, and he was taken aback when he saw her ring finger. It still shocked him to see the simple silver band, even though he had put it on for the first time almost two years ago. It was just so surprising to know that for once, something in his life had gone completely right. _

_ The way Lilly looked up at him, and gave him that dazzling smile she saved for him, never failed to amaze him. That he could be with someone so perfect for him left him slack-jawed in amazement, when things had gone so wrong in the past- with his mother, then his father, with Sam-_

_ Sam._

_ Sam-!_

Dean flew awake in his seat. He glanced over at Sam, who was watching him with a concerned look.

"Dude," Sam said. "You're not okay."

_You're tellin' me, _Dean thought. "Just a bad dream." He lied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He laid his head back down on the window, ignoring Sam's worried gaze, and was asleep once again in minutes.

_Dean ran down the hall for the third time. His breath was coming in gasps, and not just from running up and down hallways. Scrubbing angrily at the unbidden tears of frustration that had escaped, Dean almost broke down when he heard another strangled scream. He had to find her. She had to be here._

_ Finally he came across a doorway that he could have sworn didn't exist minutes ago. Taking a deep breath, aware it might be his last, he stepped over the threshold._

_ Lilly was on the ground, lying in a pool of blood. Her stomach was torn open, as if the hellhound had attacked her all over again, and her face was spattered with blood._

_ Her eyes, though, were wide open. And focused on Dean._

_ "Why did you leave me?" She asked quietly, her voice thick._

_ "I-I-I'm sorry," Dean stammered. "I couldn't save you; it moved too fast…" _

_ Miserably, Lilly pressed her hands to her stomach and tried to sit up. Dean wanted to run to her and help her, but his feet were glued to the floor where he stood. He could only watch her pitiful attempts to pull herself up. _

_ After several tries, she collapsed back down, tears making tracks on her blood-stained face._

_ "I loved you, Dean," she said in a ruined voice. _

_ "Lilly, don't say that; you'll be fine," Dean heard himself saying. Someone chuckled behind him. He whirled around to see a big man with a thick beard, leaning against the door frame._

_ "No, she won't," the man said, still chuckling. Dean saw a tattoo on his neck- _SS_, made to look like a brand. Maybe it was a brand._

_ Dean turned back to face Lilly. He choked out a cry when he saw her head slumped forward on her chest, the life completely gone out of her. His feet started working again, and he rushed to her, pulling her into his arms, trying too late to save her. Her eyes were closed, and her pulse was long gone. Dean pounded his fist to the floor, ignoring the tears trickling down his cheeks. The blood that once again was soaking through his shirt made no difference; he tried to shake Lilly back to life._

_ "Come on, you have to wake up," Dean choked out. "Lilly, please, you have to wake up." He brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Lilly, wake up, you have to, come on…" His voice trailed off into a broken cry. "No, dammit, no!" He managed to scream._

_ Dean turned to the demon in the doorway, who was watching with a smooth smile. "You son of a bitch I'll kill you for this!" He began to move towards the demon. It grinned._

_ "No, you won't."_

"Dean!" Sam's yelling and shaking his shoulder finally woke Dean, and he sat up quickly. "You've slept for almost twenty hours straight."

Dean rubbed his eyes. "You've been driving that whole time?"

Sam shook his head. "I stopped for gas a couple times, and for food. There's an hour-old hamburger in the back if you want it."

"Why'd you let me sleep the whole time?" Dean asked. Sam glanced back as if it were obvious.

"Dean, you need the sleep." Sam looked as if he was going to say more, then thought better of it.

Neither of them said anything about Lilly.

_Please review!_


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two

Dean cruised down the mostly empty road to Bobby's, listening to the light drizzle that still fell on the roof of the car. Sam was dozing in the passenger seat.

Ever since they'd left the hospital, but moreso since he'd woken up from his day-long nap, Dean felt the crushing guilt of leaving Lilly, alone, at the hospital. He wouldn't let himself think that after she had almost died to save him, she'd wake up alone, not knowing where they'd gone.

Dean's stomach felt sick just thinking about it.

Sighing as he pulled into the old salvage yard, Dean tried in vain to convince himself he'd done the right thing. Too late, but it had been the right thing. If only he'd done the right thing seven months earlier, before Lilly had become a daily part of his life and she made him feel-

_Stop. Just stop._ Dean told himself. Wishing wouldn't do any good, and neither would whining.

He stopped the car in front of the house, taking in the front porch, the old rocking chair, and the dozens of cars parked haphazardly as far as he could see. _It's good to be back,_ he thought wistfully.

"Sam, wake up," Dean called, shaking his brother's shoulder. "We're here."

Dean was already out of the car and pulling things out of the trunk before Sam had even fully woken up. Sam groggily pulled himself into a sitting position and dragged himself out of the car, taking the duffel bags and guns that Dean was shoving at him.

Once on the porch, Dean knocked the mud off his boots as best he could, before knocking then walking on in. "Bobby?" he called.

The old man rolled up in his wheel chair, a scowl on his face. "I was wondering when you'd show up," he grunted gruffly.

Dean was confused. "Bobby, I didn't call to say we were stopping…"

"I know, I know," the older hunter grumbled. "Your friends in there said you'd be coming this way."

Trying to see around Bobby, Dean felt his heart drop. "Friends…?"

Bobby turned himself around and headed back into the living room. "Yeah, that angel you all are buddy-buddy with. You know I don't like this kinda thing, boy…"

Dean frowned. "So it's just Cas?" He prayed it was.

Bobby shook his head, and Dean felt his knees start to go weak. "No, there's some girl with him, real pretty, says she knows you two…" Bobby was already disappearing into the living room.

White-faced, Dean turned to Sam. "How the hell-!"

"Just get it over with, Dean," Sam said. He was secretly relieved beyond belief, and he knew once the initial shock wore off that Dean would be, too.

Dean shambled into the living room, holding his hands up defensively, prepared to make some kind of semi-valid excuse. He knew there wasn't one.

Lilly was sitting on Bobby's couch, watching him. He couldn't read her eyes; she just watched- no anger, no pain, no sadness. Dean started to worry.

Castiel, on the other hand, looked as angry and foreboding as the thunderclouds outside. He took a step forward.

"Dean Winchester, after all I've done for you, after all I've helped you with and all the rules I've broken to help you keep your precious free will, you cannot listen to me even once!" Castiel's voice was dangerous.

Dean hung his head in shame. "Cas, I-"

"Do not even speak. I told you that you had to keep her safe, and you throw her out. I tell you again that this is of the upmost importance, and you leave her by herself in town where there are demons hunting her. Do you not understand the meaning of anything I say!"

Lilly stood. "I can handle myself," she began. Castiel whirled on her as well.

"Maybe against ordinary demons, but Sebastian Slade has caught you once before, and he can do it again. He has means the others don't, and as much as you don't like it, you need the Winchesters to protect you from him." Castiel turned back to Dean.

"If Sebastian Slade gets a hold of her, you may as well kill yourself and let Sam say yes to Lucifer." Castiel's eyes narrowed, and his voice lowered. "He could destroy her mind completely and make her one of the dangerous weapons available. Do you want that to happen?"

Dean shook his head, unsure of what he could say.

Castiel glared at him. "Then I suggest you listen to me for once in your life, and do not leave her again."

Dean could only nod.

Sam and Bobby stood off to the side, watching as Lilly stood up and crossed the room to Dean. His head was still hanging down, and Sam knew that the guilt he'd been bottling for the last two days was about to spill out over the top.

Lilly looked into Dean's eyes, her face dangerously close to his. Sam and Bobby winced at the resounding slap that echoed slightly in the walls.

Dean's cheek stung, but he didn't move to step back, or even look up. There were very few times when he had felt this miserable, or more like a failure.

He could sense Lilly still standing near him. Forcing himself to do so, he looked up meet her eyes. There was still no anger or pain. Suddenly, he looked to Castiel, questioning.

"I managed to heal her, if that's what you're wondering." The angel confirmed. "Even so, she almost died, Dean."

"I know," Dean whispered, guilt shackling him like chains. He looked up at Castiel. "It was to save me."

Dean sat at the table with Bobby, sipping a beer. Castiel had left, and Sam was in bed. Lilly had gone to bed as well, but Dean doubted she was asleep.

"So'd you ever find out anything more about that Horseman thing?" Dean asked casually. Bobby scowled.

"Yeah, and it ain't good."

"Never is."

"You got a point. Now, from what I've been hearing, there's something big going on in northern Montana. There were a couple situations where whole towns were just rioting, then all rising up and taking over the town next to them. I don't understand it. Doesn't sound like demons, and there's no omens or anything like that. People just all trying to destroy each other."

Dean folded his arms. "What'd they do, kill the people?"

"Nope." Bobby shook his head. "In one town, Cut Bank, way up by the border, the whole town went crazy. Started looting shops, setting fire to buildings, all sorts of nonsense. A few days of that, then they move on to the town next door- Shelby. They pulled off the same stuff, then started- Lord, I can't believe I'm sayin' this- they started using the Shelby residents as slaves. Reports say that all the Shelby folks that got out felt like they were being forced to do it, like they had no choice. And I don't mean if that they didn't cooperate, they got shot. I mean like mind-control, semi-possession." Bobby poured himself another shot of whiskey when he finished speaking. Dean helped himself to one as well.

"Damn," Dean said. "You sure it's not just demons, stirring things up? Just because, you know, it's the Apocalypse?"

Once again, Bobby shook his head. "Don't think so. No one saw any people with black eyes, and no black smoke, and nothing else pointing to demons. Only thing out of the ordinary- other than the obvious- is a few electrical storms, and the like."

Dean was at a loss. It didn't sound like anything he'd ever heard of, other than mass possession.

Or War.

When they'd first come across the Horseman, it had seemed like demonic possession. Bobby seemed to following his train of thought, and was nodding.

"But we killed War. I've still got the ring."

Bobby shrugged. "Don't know what to tell you, son. Could be one of the other Horsemen."

Dean shook his head. "We killed War, and Famine. All that's left are Pestilence and Death, and this doesn't sound like either."

Bobby just shrugged.

Dean clapped a hand to the older man's shoulder, standing up. "Damn," he said. "It really wears on you, doesn't it?"

Bobby chuckled humorlessly. "Sure does, boy. Now go get some sleep." Dean nodded and padded softly up the stairs.

The events of the past six hours played slowly in his mind, and he was powerless to stop them. Castiel had found Lilly in the hospital, managed to heal her, and had instantly brought her to Bobby's, knowing that was where Dean and Sam would go. From what Dean had gathered, Bobby didn't know what Lilly was, at least not yet.

A light across the hall caught his attention. Moving closer, he gently nudged open the halfway closed door. Lilly was sitting in bed, her back stiff against the wall. She was watching the door like a hawk. She jumped slightly when Dean pushed the door open, and Dean winced when he saw the fear in her eyes.

He knew what it felt like to try to sleep after being attacked by a hellhound.

"Can I come in?" He asked softly. Lilly nodded, her eyes now betraying all the pain that had been invisible a few hours ago. Dean sat quietly on the edge of the bed. Lilly watched him suspiciously.

"Lilly, I can't even tell you…" He trailed off, and then met her eyes. "I'm sorry."

She nodded slowly. "Do you even know why I did it?" She asked, her voice raw and barely audible.

Dean shook his head.

"You were going to die. It was going to kill you, tear you to pieces…" She didn't finish the sentence.

"So? I deserve it. You don't."

Lilly looked at him sadly. "No, you don't," she whispered, looking down. Dean was about to start speaking, but Lilly cut him off. "I don't care anymore that you probably hate me, and hate what I am. It doesn't matter that you couldn't care less, but I couldn't stand there and let you die. I…" Her eyes met his, and he saw tears brimming at the corners.

"What?" he asked.

"I love you," she whispered, glancing back down.

Dean stared for a moment. _Sam wasn't lying,_ he thought briefly. He looked into Lilly's eyes, and saw that she really meant it. Mentally he kicked himself. He wished that she'd never said it, that he'd never come in the room, that he'd never met her at all.

Because now, he couldn't make excuses for why he could never be with her.

Before either of them could say anything else, Dean turned and left the room, pulling the door shut behind him.

Walking down the hall, Dean let his conscience scream at him- for being a coward, for being too afraid to let anyone get close to him, for never being able to make the right decisions. He knew now what Sam had been talking about all the times they'd fought because Dean buried everything he felt; this was what Sam meant.

Dean finally let himself realize that everything he wanted was twenty steps behind him, and that no excuse was good enough anymore. He finally admitted to himself that Lilly was somebody he would give up the hunting lifestyle for, and be willing to actually have a life with, if not for the empty soul that left him with nothing but a shell of the person he had once been. Finally, he made himself see that he felt the exact same way Lilly did.

Admitting all that did nothing to help him. Part of him still wanted to hold back, and told him that for Dean Winchester, life wasn't fair and never would. He would never be dealt a hand this good, this _right, _and his jaded life refused to let him believe it.

If he believed in fate, he would have believed that in another life, in another world, he'd belong with Lilly. But Dean didn't believe in fate; he believed in facts.

And the fact was, it didn't matter what anyone said. Life was never this fair.

_Please review! I'm dying to know what everyone's thinking!_


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

Dean stared up at the ceiling. He didn't feel like getting out of bed. There didn't seem to be a point.

The rain seemed to drill into the roof; as peaceful as it sounded, Dean wondered if it would ever stop. It had been raining nonstop for the three days they'd been at Bobby's. They had been doing research on the Montana towns, and planned to head out in a day or two to investigate.

Dean wallowed in self-pity; he felt miserable. Ever since that night three days ago… He hadn't been himself. He knew Sam noticed, and Dean silently thanked him for not saying anything. Dean was starting to no longer see the point in waking up in the morning, especially on mornings like this when he felt especially irritable and frustrated with himself.

Lilly would meet his eyes occasionally, and he could see the pain behind her green-eyed gaze. It killed him to focus on her for any length of time.

She wasn't rude, or angry, or even overly upset, just… Distant. She didn't talk unless spoken to, and was very reserved in everything she did and said.

Dean felt much the same way.

He tried putting on a brave face, but usually failed and ended up looking sour and worn out. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't what he was aiming for.

With a last longsuffering look out at the gloomy sky, Dean dragged himself out of bed and shuffled down the stairs. Sam and Bobby were crowded around the laptop at the table, and Lilly was pouring over books while eating a bowl of cereal.

"Mornin'," Dean grumbled as he began to make himself some toast. Bobby nodded, and Sam gave him half a wave with his free hand, not bothering to make eye contact. Lilly didn't move or acknowledge that she'd heard them. Dean eyed all of them. "Don't get too excited; I wouldn't want you to strain yourselves…" Bobby looked up at him. The old man was obviously tired.

"Good morning, sunshine, how'd you sleep?" Bobby asked sarcastically.

Dean raised his eyebrows and shut his mouth.

"So Dean…" Sam began, trying to make eye contact at long last.

"Yeah?" Dean mumbled through a mouthful of Cheerios.

"Me and Bobby were doing some research, and there's another town west of Cut Bank and Shelby, called Whitefish." He tapped a spot on the map in front of him. "South of that, is Kalispell. We think that might be the next spot they're going for."

"Okay?" Dean didn't see how it pertained to him. Sam sighed.

"South of Kalispell is Flathead Lake. On the other side, there's a town called Polson. We're thinking they might try to take all three towns."

Dean stared blankly.

Sam huffed. "Point is, someone still has to go to Cut Bank and Shelby to see what happened. But we can't waste time getting to Whitefish and the others." Sam was giving him meaningful looks, the meaning of which Dean didn't understand.

Bobby spoke up. "I'm headed with Sam to Whitefish. You're going to Cut Bank." Lilly started to look up, her eyes jumping between the three men. Bobby glanced at her. "The car I've got working is a two seater," Bobby said, shrugging innocently.

Dean was starting to grasp their meaning.

Sam gave him a sharp look, and inclined his head ever so slightly to Lilly.

"We'll meet you in Whitefish after we see what happened." Dean sighed. He glanced at Lilly, and saw the smallest hint of a smile across her features.

"Any other ideas of what this could be?" Lilly asked Bobby. He shook his head.

"Best guess I got's a Horseman," he said. Dean was already disagreeing.

"Bobby, it can't be a Horseman. No one's getting sick, no one's dying, and we took care of War."

Lilly was frowning at him. "You killed War and Famine, right?"

Sam and Dean both nodded.

"What about Conquest?"

All three looked at her.

"Well?"

"What do you mean?" Dean asked. Lilly searched through the books on the table until she found a Bible. She flipped to the very end.

"It says: 'And there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest.'" She flipped the Bible shut and look back at all of them.

"I thought it was Pestilence." Dean said. Lilly shook her head. Dean turned to Bobby. "That sounds an awful like what we're looking for," Dean said.

Bobby shrugged, nodding as he did so.

Dean spread out the map. "So when we got War and Famine, they usually drove a car that was the same color as their horse… War drove a red one; Famine had a black one. We're looking for a white car, one that stands out." Dean glanced at Lilly. The color was rapidly draining from her face.

"I don't think so," she said quietly.

"What?" Dean asked. He glanced at Sam and Bobby; they didn't seem to know what she was talking about either. "What is it?"

Lilly searched frantically through the books on the table, finally finding an ancient text covered in dust. Blowing the dust of the cover, she flipped through until she found what she was looking for. Dean watched, confused.

When she'd found what she was looking for, she read anxiously for about a minute, then slumped back into her chair. Her eyes were full of dread. Dean motioned for her to say something.

"Thousands of years ago in Egypt, when dreamwalkers first started appearing," she began, making horribly clear eye contact with Dean, "they could be recognized by one feature, and this kept people at least aware of what they were dealing with." Her eyes pierced Dean.

"They had completely white eyes."

Dean thought his jaw, along with his hope, hit the floor. Not only did it remind him of Lilith, but also the thought of having to kill both a dreamwalker and Horseman at the same time was more than concerning.

Bobby was glaring suspiciously. "How do you know about dreamwalkers?" He scoffed at Lilly. She glanced at Dean, then at Sam, unsure of how to proceed. Bobby didn't miss the look.

"Well, Bobby-" Sam began. Dean cut him off quickly.

"We saw something about it doing research." Dean said, nodding to himself.

Bobby gave Dean an are-you-kidding look. "Bull," the older man said.

Lilly had gone back to studying her cereal; Dean trying to meet her eyes for help did no good.

The truth suddenly seemed to dawn on Bobby, and he glared at Dean. "Boy, don't you _dare_ tell me you brought a dreamwalker into this house, or I swear…" He didn't need to say the rest.

Dean just looked up guiltily.

"Dammit, Dean!" Bobby's fist slamming onto the table made everyone jump. He faced Lilly, then just shook his head and turned back to Dean. "You'd better leave now, boy, before I shoot."

Dean nodded.

Dean and Lilly drove in silence for the better part of an hour; all the while Lilly stared out the window, watching the rain fall to the pavement. They'd gathered all of their things quickly, and headed straight to the car.

The awkward sensation Dean felt being around Lilly wasn't easing up at all, and the silence hung in the car like a heavy blanket. In an effort to try to break up the monotony, Dean flipped on the radio.

"_It was the heat of the moment…" _Dean flipped the station.

_"She brings me love, baby it's all that I need…" _Station change again.

_"Now I'll never dance with another…"_ Giving up, Dean turned the radio off. Lilly finally looked up at him.

"Those were all good songs," she said quietly.

"Yeah," he agreed. He was a little surprised she knew all of them.

"Just don't feel like listening, huh?" Lilly was watching him with her knowing eyes, and he felt a little unnerved by it.

"Not really," Dean replied. The silence returned.

They drove like that for three hours, not a word spoken. Dean felt heat creeping up his cheeks every time he glanced at Lilly only to have her glance over at the same time. He wished they could get out of the car already.

After a quick stop for lunch, which included some basic chit chat about nothing important, and two more hours of driving, Dean got his wish. He pulled up into the motel parking lot. It looked slightly nicer than the ones he and Sam had gotten so used to.

Dean and Lilly walked into the lobby carrying their bags. Mustering up the best smile he could, Dean glanced at the desk worker; an older woman in her fifties. She looked pleasant enough.

"Hi, I need one room, two queens."

The woman shook her head. "Sorry, we're fresh out of those. Only thing we got left's a room with a king."

_Dammit, dammit, dammit, _Dean was thinking. He glanced at Lilly. She shrugged.

"Sure," Dean said, giving the woman the phony smile again. Key in hand, he strode off towards their room, Lilly struggling to keep up. She finally caught up with him at the door.

"I'll take the floor, if you want," she offered. Dean shook his head.

"Nah, I'll take it."

Lilly just shrugged. Dean couldn't help but notice that the fiery passion he was so used to seeing in her; that made her so attractive and irresistible, was all but gone.

"You know…" Lilly began, catching Dean's eye, "The whole thing that Chuck told us, that I have to get stronger… We haven't really done anything about that."

Dean rubbed a hand over his face, not replying.

Lilly tried to backpedal. "I was just thinking, since this thing might be a dreamwalker, that maybe I could help…"

Dean had been thinking the same thing. "Okay."

"Really?" Lilly stared at him incredulously.

"What the hell?" Dean said. _Can't hurt anymore than it already does, _Dean thought sarcastically.

"When?" Lilly asked. Dean watched her begin to unpack her bag, the way there was already some of that fire returning. He threw his hands in the air.

"Why not now?"

Lilly looked taken aback. "Alright," she said slowly. "Just do whatever, and tell me if you feel anything." She looked at him strangely. "Anything," she stressed again.

Dean nodded.

He watched as Lilly continued unpacking, every now and then humming softly to herself. He didn't feel any different.

Then suddenly he felt like his memories were being pulled from him, and that there was nothing he could hide. Memories and thoughts and images flashed across his mind like a high speed movie.

Dean saw himself standing in the middle of a fairground, carrying a garbage bag in one hand and an EMF meter in the other. He saw he and Sam shouting at each while walking down the road, screaming that Sam wasn't dealing with their dad's death, while Dean so obviously was. _What a lie that was, _Dean barely had time to think before the image of himself smashing the halfway repaired Impala hit him. Guilt, and the pain of that moment, washed over him.

Childhood memories, everything from hunting to Christmases to fishing, flew by in a blink. His head was starting to hurt.

"Stop!" Dean rubbed his temples. Lilly moved closer to him, cupping his face in her hands, looking into his eyes. She seemed to be studying his eyes themselves, not what she might see behind them. Suddenly, she seemed to realize where she was, and stepped back.

"Sorry," she said quietly. "Are you okay?"

Dean nodded, still rubbing his temples. "What were you doing?"

Lilly shrugged. "Just looking," she said. "Seeing what I could get to before you said stop."

"And?"

"There's still a lot you bury pretty deep, Dean."

Dean snorted. _If only she knew the half of it,_ he though. He stood to his feet. "We've got a couple hours to search around town. We need to figure out what happened."

Lilly nodded, grabbing her bag and the gun she'd pulled from her duffel. "Ready when you are," she said, heading for the door.

They drove past old, shabby houses in drab colors, and Lilly grimaced everytime they passed a particularly run-down example. Farther down the road, they came across a few small car wrecks that looked like they'd just been abandoned. Dean figured it was a result of the rioting.

A few minutes later, the Impala flew past a sign saying they were entering Whitefish proper, and both Dean and Lilly began looking around for any signs of life. There was none. There were more car pileups, and a few fires still burning. Finally, Lilly suggested they get out of the car, as the road ahead looked to be blocked.

Dean locked the car and ran a hand lovingly across the hood as he walked away; he blew the car a kiss as they walked on. Lilly laughed lightly.

"Gotta let her know I'm coming back," Dean explained. Lilly just smiled and shook her head.

They walked for a good ten minutes, occasionally stopping to examine fires or car crashes. There didn't seem to be anything else out of the ordinary.

"What's that?" Lilly asked quietly, pointing up ahead. The form in the middle of the road was crumpled up, and Dean was afraid he knew what it was.

They quickened their pace and reached the body. Slipping into the mode without emotion that Dean was becoming increasingly familiar with, Lilly flipped the body over. It was a man wearing a mechanic's shirt, and there was a nametag stitched onto to the pocket.

"Steve, Shelby Repair Shop," Lilly read. Dean glanced around.

"Shelby was the town this one took over and-" A look from Lilly made him stop talking. She glanced around, and Dean followed her gaze. There was a rustle in the trees to the side of the road.

Lilly mouthed something that Dean couldn't understand. He tried to ask what she meant, but she quickly silenced him. She made a show of standing up and brushing off her jeans. She was facing away from the direction the movement had come from.

"Well, I don't think there's much we can do here. We might as well just go home." She said, shooting Dean a look as she did so. The gun was stuck in the front of her belt, and wasn't visible from behind her. As he saw another movement in the trees, Dean began to get an idea of what she was doing.

There was a tribal war cry, and then a man flew out of the bushed on the side and lunged at Lilly. With lightning speed, she ducked and whirled, drawing her gun and firing quickly. The man's attack was instantly halted, and he sat whimpering on the pavement, nursing his bleeding leg.

"Nice shot," Dean whispered to Lilly. She flashed him a quick smile, then crouched down near the man. Dean noticed she stayed out of arm's reach.

"What were you doing?" She asked.

The man cackled maniacally. He didn't answer, but moved his gaze to Dean, and then back to Lilly. With a chill, Dean realized his eyes were solid white.

"Did someone send you?"

Giggling, the man nodded.

"Did he send you for me?"

More giggling and nodding.

"Who was it?" Lilly grabbed hold of the man's collar, the gun pressed to the middle of his chest.

Without warning, the man's mouth opened wide in a silent scream, as his head began to tilt dangerously to the side. His head thrashed from side to side. His eyes rolled back in his head, and the silent scream didn't stop. There was a cracking sound as the man's neck twisted. Lilly barely flinched when it broke.

"Did you…" Dean began to ask, but Lilly was shaking her head, frowning.

The man's head shot back up. This time there was no humor in his lifeless white eyes, and no crazed smile on his face. He stared blankly at Lilly.

"This is the least of what I can do," the man whispered in a slight drawl. "Just wait till you see what I'm gonna do to you, darlin', and your little boyfriend." He grinned at Dean, and exposed teeth with several gaps.

Lilly's hold on the collar tightened.

"I'm stronger than you, and you know it. There's nothing you can do about this one, Lilliana. You're just out of luck.

"When I meet you two, you'll see what I mean, and you'll see what somebody with some real talent can do."

The man chuckled, and then slumped over dead.

_Still waiting on some reviews… Let me know how you like it so far! The reviews help me write better (or quicker), I've noticed, so tell me what you think!_


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked quietly. Lilly was still kneeling by the body, a look of dread in her eyes.

"That was the dreamwalker," she answered. Dean had figured that.

"How does it know who you are? Why couldn't you do your mind thing and do something-" Lilly was shaking her head.

"It doesn't work like that." She said, not meeting Dean's eyes. "This man was already dead. The Horseman killed him, and then was talking through him. I can do that, but I can't get into a dead person's head. There's nothing there." Lilly's voice was flat. A thought occurred to Dean.

"Are dreamwalkers immune to their own power? Like if someone else used it against them?" He asked.

Lilly shook her head. "Whoever is stronger would come out on top."

"Could you have gotten to the Horseman through this guy?"

She shook her head again. "I doubt I'd be strong enough right now anyway, since I haven't used any kind of ability for more than just a poke or prod here or there in half a year." She gave Dean a dark look. "And it's not like how what I did with Chuck. I could do that because you knew Chuck, and I could use you as a bridge." She stood, brushing off her jeans and shirt. "If I had a bridge that, then in theory, I could get to whoever I wanted."

"Could you kill something using that bridge?" Dean asked. It felt wrong to be considering this, but if she could…

Again, Lilly shook her head, much to Dean's disappointment. "That's what Chuck meant about getting stronger."

An idea began to form in Dean's mind. "What if you tried? What could it do?"

"It could possibly tell a demon where we are, and let them know I'm trying things like that, but other than that, not much," she admitted.

"Try it."

"What?"

"Damn, I can't believe I'm saying this, but if you can do this, it could solve a hell of a lot of problems."

Lilly shrugged. "Alright," she said, "Who do you want to look for?"

Dean racked his brain. Alastair was dead. Ruby was dead. Azazel was dead.

Suddenly a name popped into his mind that he hadn't thought of in a long time; one that he'd tried very hard to forget. He'd only met this demon once, but it was an experience that would last Dean a lifetime. The demon had been one of the many he'd met in hell, and it had tortured him, once, before he'd been paired up with Alastair.

The demon's name was Ezekiel.

Dean met Lilly's eyes wearily. He'd hoped he'd never have to think about this demon ever again.

"Look for a demon named Ezekiel."

Lilly searched his eyes for a moment, then nodded.

Once again, Dean felt the invasive pushing of Lilly in his mind; he felt her flying through his memories. With some of them, he was glad she didn't stop to look.

Dean felt the rush slow when she settled on his time in hell. He was forced to relive some of the worst things imaginable, and Lilly put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. After a few more minutes of digging, she found what she was looking for.

The rush was he felt when Lilly abruptly left his mind left him empty and reeling, and he sat down for a moment. Lilly was focused on the dead man, concentrating, so he didn't say anything.

Lilly took a deep breath, and she began to shake. "I've got him," she said under her breath, more to herself than to Dean.

A vein in her temple began to emerge, and Dean could see her pulse through her shaking arms. She was locked in a mental struggle with what Dean knew to be one of the most powerful demons in hell.

Suddenly, she opened her eyes wide and gasped, her breathing slightly ragged. Her arms relaxed, and Dean rushed forward as she slumped. He caught her before she fell to the ground.

Still gasping for air, Lilly looked up at Dean. She read the unspoken question that was evident in his eyes, and she nodded, a small smile reaching her lips. Without thinking, Dean pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. They stayed like that for several minutes until Lilly caught her breath, and then Dean slowly released her.

"Thanks," Dean said softly, wanting her to know how much easier he would sleep at night, but not knowing how to communicate it.

The shine in Lilly's eyes told him she knew.

The silence on the way back to the car (which to Dean's relief was still untouched) and on the way back to their motel was much more comfortable than on the way to Whitefish. Lilly still stared out the window, and Dean again fiddled with the radio. He flipped stations a few times before hitting on something he liked.

_"Without love, where would you be right now?" _he sang dramatically, glancing at Lilly. She caught his eye and sang along with him, laughing as they both missed words and notes. He let himself laugh with her, and felt himself smiling back whenever her dazzling smile came his way.

Their laughter finally ended when they pulled into the motel parking lot. Dean shut the car off, leaving them in silence. Neither of them moved to get out.

"I'll take the floor," Dean offered again. Lilly nodded.

"Thanks," she said. "You know…" she looked up at Dean as she paused. He looked back, nodding for her to go on. "What that guy said made me realize that this may be way over my head," she admitted. "I think he was right."

"Right about what?"

Lilly shrugged. "I'm not strong enough." She looked up at Dean again. "I don't know if I can do this," she said. Her eyes were worried.

Dean looked at her. "And you want to use me as your guinea pig to bulk up your mental strength." Lilly began to speak, but Dean held up a hand for her to stop. "No, I get it. I know you want to do what you have to. But this whole thing, it just kinda freaks me out, you know?" Lilly nodded slowly. Dean began again. "But if you really think it'll help us kill this thing, and others, then I'll live with it." He looked into her eyes, and she nodded.

"Okay," she said. They headed inside, taking back the few things they'd brought with them. Dean fiddled with the radio, settling on the classic rock station he'd been playing in the car.

"This okay?" Dean asked, gesturing towards the radio with the gun that he was still finding a place to stash. Lilly nodded absently as she folded and refolded her clothes. Dean sat on the chair in the corner. "Am I supposed to be feeling something?"

Lilly shook her head as if to clear it. "Not yet, sorry. Hold on." She folded something else and then sat on the bed, facing Dean. "Just tell me when."

Dean took a deep breath. "Go ahead," he said, anticipating the rush of memories and emotions, like the last time.

Instead, he felt nothing.

He glanced at Lilly. She was sitting on the bed, her eyes unfocused, as if she were looking at something that he couldn't see. Dean supposed she was.

"Will I know what you're doing…?" Dean asked, trying to break her concentration. Lilly shook her head.

"That's what I'm trying to do," she said quickly. Her eyes returned to the unfocused look they'd previously had.

Dean tapped his fingers, and glanced around the room. He was feeling the same invasive pressure as before, but wasn't experiencing the flood of emotion and memories that came with whatever Lilly was seeing. He watched Lilly's face carefully, and watched her brow furrow in concentration. After another minute, her eyes lost the unfocused stare, and she looked up at him sadly.

"Who's Jo?" she asked silently. Dean was sure she already knew, and the look in her eyes only confirmed it.

Dean shrugged awkwardly. He opened his mouth to make some excuse, but he looked up and met Lilly's eyes, and knew he couldn't lie. He sighed. "She was a hunter. The daughter of one of my dad's old hunting buddies. She… She died. A few months ago." Dean knew Lilly would probably ask for more, but he didn't offer it.

"Did you two…" Lilly gestured with her hand, and trailed off.

Dean shook his head. "I think she always wanted to, but it never would have worked."

Lilly nodded knowingly, if not sarcastically. "You loved her." It wasn't a question.

Dean stood up, his temper rising. "No, I didn't, just… I got her killed, and I helped get her into this mess in the first place."

Lilly stood as well, her voice frustratingly calm. "Dean, I can see how you felt about her…"

Crossing the room, Dean threw his hands in the air. "Maybe I did, I don't know, but she didn't mean anything compared…" He trailed off, suddenly too afraid to go on. _What the hell is wrong with me, _he thought. Lilly watched him as he stopped pacing, and came to a stop a few feet away from her.

"Compared to…?" Lilly said quietly. She gestured for him to go on.

Dean realized then that he had to make a choice. He could be brutally honest, risk getting both of them hurt; both of them killed by being each other's weakness, and make the entire situation beyond awkward. Or, he could lie, and deal with having to look at Lilly every day and know that she had been honest and that the one person he wanted was just three words away.

"Compared to you," Dean said, breathless.

They both closed the distance between them almost instantly, and Dean pulled Lilly into his arms and kissed her, finally not holding anything back. Lilly's arms found their way around his neck, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. Her finger casually drew a line down his jaw, and Dean let himself shiver.

As carefully as he could without breaking their kiss, Dean picked Lilly up and carried her to the edge of the bed. Her hands undoing the buttons on his shirt made him move faster.

Forced to tear his lips from hers, Dean found the hem of her shirt, skimming her neck with his lips as he did so. In seconds, Lilly was on the bed, pulling Dean down with her. He couldn't help but grin as she pulled his t-shirt over his head, running her hands over his back. As soon as the shirt hit the floor, Dean's mouth again covered Lilly's, making up for all the times he'd wanted so badly to do exactly this but knowing he couldn't. Lilly's hand on the side of his face slowed his movements, and he looked at her for a moment, taking in the way her dark hair fell on the pillow, in exactly the way he'd imagined it would. Her hands still roamed his face and chest, but Dean noticed she was shaking.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly. Lilly glanced to the side.

"Yeah, it's just- yeah, I'm fine." She replied. Dean stroked his thumb across her cheek. He frowned slightly.

"You have… You have done this before, right?" He asked.

Lilly seemed surprised. "Yeah… just never for the right reasons," she said, smiling at him once she finished talking. Dean hoped he was the first right reason. As if she read his thoughts, Lilly smiled again. "I meant what I said the other night," she said softly, her face inches from his.

"I know," he whispered back, kissing her again. "I can't tell you how much I was kicking myself for not turning around and doing this." He ran a hand through her hair as he kissed her. Lilly pulled him closer.

The shaking stopped as Dean placed a hand on her hip. He saw a dark scar running down below the waist of her jeans, and he was about to run a finger over it, but Lilly's hands pushed him away. Dean looked up to see regret in her eyes.

"First time," she said sarcastically, the bitterness obvious by her tone. Dean touched his forehead to her stomach, and then glanced back up.

"I'm sorry," he said. Lilly gave him a halfhearted smile. He grinned, hoping he could make her dazzling smile emerge once again. He leaned back up towards her face, resting his chin on her chest. She cracked a smile, cupping his cheek in her hand.

Planting a quick kiss on her collarbone, he gave her devilish grin. "Trust me, princess;" he said softly, "after a night with me, you won't even remember anyone else."

Lilly smacked him lightly, and Dean caught the briefest glimpse of the smile that had come to be the thing he looked forward to most. However, the distant pain behind her eyes was still there.

Dean intended to make good on his promise.

The whisper of her jeans as they slid down her legs made Dean want to die on the spot, and the heat of her fingers unbuckling his belt only added to that feeling.

Before Lilly could say anything about it, Dean ducked and kissed the scar on her hip. She froze for a moment, then pulled him towards her as he kissed a trail up her stomach. Before he knew what had happened, he was on his back, and Lilly was sitting on top of him, looking proud of herself.

Her fingers curled over the handprint on his arm, tracing the outlines gently before matching her hand to his branded skin. With his hands on her hips, Dean sighed sharply as she kissed his chest, skimming over his tattoo, her teeth teasing his neck.

In retaliation, Dean flipped Lilly back under him, a growl escaping his throat as he kissed her. One hand ran up her thigh, as the other reached behind her back. Her bra made a soft _thump _as it landed with the rest of their discarded clothes.

Despite the return of Lilly's shaking, her hands firmly on the back of his neck and his shoulder wouldn't let him stop to calm her down. With a great exercising of willpower, Dean forced his hands to stop their wild exploration and move to cup Lilly's face. He placed one last soft kiss on her lips before looking into her eyes.

"You are not fine."

Lilly tried to protest, but Dean saw the glimmer of a tear at the corner of her eye, and he ran a hand down her ribs.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not used to feeling like this; actually caring, I've just never had this mean anything, and I hate myself for it and I don't want this to go wrong because you mean something; you're not just another guy I just met and-"

"I love you."

Dean's declaration instantly halted Lilly's rambling. "What?" she whispered.

He looked her in the eye, unwavering under her disbelieving stare. "I mean it. I never said anything because I thought this could never work, but now I don't care anymore. I'll be damned if I won't try. I wake up in the morning and all I think about is trying to get through the day without being able to say something, do something, to let you know I don't hate you. I never did, not ever. No matter how angry or scared I was of what you are, I couldn't think of losing you and no matter how many times you walked out that door I wanted to run after you. I'm sorry I never did. I can't change it now, but I would if I could, because you've become the only person I want, and I mean that. I love you."

Dean could hardly believe the words he was saying. He meant every word, but he'd never thought that he would ever say something like that, to anybody. He'd resigned himself to a lonely existence.

Lilly stared at him. It seemed to take her a moment before his words really sunk in. When they did, she pulled his face to hers and kissed him with a passion that Dean didn't even know was possible, trying to press herself as close to him as she could. Dean let his hands pick up where they'd left off.

Finally, Lilly looked in his eyes, and Dean kissed her lightly before placing his hands on her hips and guiding her gently closer. He kissed her neck and smiled against her skin when her eyes closed and her back arched. One of his hands skimmed through her hair, and Dean embraced every sensation and sound he experienced.

This time, there was no shaking at all.

_So finally, the moment we've all been waiting for. *please* leave a review; tell me how it was. Good, bad, too much, too little… I want to hear what you think. Thanks!_


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Five

Hours later, in the dark motel room, Dean and Lilly were still awake. They were lying close together, neither wanting to pull apart from each long enough to pick up the clothes in the floor, or put them back on. Dean saw no point: after a night like that, he doubted he would ever see the point in either of them ever leaving the bed, let alone putting clothes on. He didn't think he'd ever experienced something so _complete; _this felt like a completely new level that he'd never encountered with anyone else.

Dean's arm tightened around Lilly's shoulders as he kissed her forehead, for what had to be the hundredth time. She snuggled closer to him, her head resting on his chest and her fingers tracing light circles across his chest and arms. He sighed against her hair whenever she hit a sensitive spot.

The only light was the moonlight streaming in from the window, leaving them draped in dark blue shadows. The light highlighted the tattoo on Lilly's back, and Dean wrapped both arms around her and pulled her close when he thought about what it had meant, and how close he had come to losing her. Her cheek pressed against his chest, and he kissed her again before letting her drop back to where she'd been. She planted a kiss on his shoulder, and then returned to tracing invisible lines across his chest, particularly over his tattoo. She moaned softly under her breath when Dean allowed his hand not around her shoulders to brush against her bare chest as he brought it back to his side.

"You know, you were right," she whispered.

"Mmh?"

Lilly moved her lips up to his, kissing him deeply before speaking. "I think I did forget everything after that," she whispered in his ear.

Dean smiled up at the empty ceiling. "I knew you would, princess," he said softly, pushing her hair away from her ear to whisper it to her. He let his lips skim across her neck, and she shivered.

With a playful smile, she pressed her hands to his chest, rolling over to face him. "Are you trying to convince me I need to forget something else?" she asked.

Returning the deep kiss, Dean stroked a hand down her back. "I don't know," he breathed into her ear, pulling her hips against him, "you tell me."

Sunlight streamed in through the window. Dean blinked, bleary eyed, and looked down next to him. Lilly was still there, cuddled in the crook of his neck, fast asleep.

_It wasn't just a dream, _Dean thought, relieved. In her sleep, Lilly tightened her arms around him. He breathed a deep sigh of contentment at knowing that everything he'd been holding back for half a year was finally out in the open.

"Mmh," Lilly sighed against his chest as she started to wake up. The tiny sound reminded him of her passionate cries the night before, and he shivered with the memory. Every time she'd called out his name, or dragged her fingers across his back and shoulders, he had known without a doubt that he wouldn't ever be able to top this experience, and that he would never be able to want anyone else.

"Still there?" Lilly whispered, her eyes still closed. Dean drew her chin up and softly kissed her lips in answer. "Still love me?" she asked in a small voice.

Dean pulled her body close to his, wrapping her up in his arms. "Yeah," he said softly. He kissed her, holding her close as he rolled them both over. Lilly sighed and tensed as he began kissing a trail down her body, beginning at her jaw. His thorough discovery had only gotten to her stomach when his phone rang.

"Dammit," Dean said against her chest as his lips moved back up, ending with a quick peck on her lips before reaching over and answering the phone.

"Hello?" he said impatiently.

_"Dean, where are you?"_ It was Sam. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Where do you think I am? In a motel just outside Whitefish. I said I'd meet you in a couple days."

_"I think you need to leave sooner," _Sam said. _"Where's Lilly?"_

"She's right here," Dean said, glancing at Lilly. "Why?"

_"There's definitely something big about to go down here. We- well, I- think maybe Lilly can help." _Sam paused, muttering something to Bobby in the background. _"Is she okay?"_

Dean glanced over at Lilly, her hair in a wild tangle and the sheets being the only thing covering her. Dean didn't think they were doing a very good job, but he certainly wasn't going to complain.

He shared a knowing smile with her before answering his brother. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's fine."

_"Are you at least being civil?"_

Dean almost snorted. He quickly choked back his laughter before Sam caught on. "Uh, yeah, I think she'd say I'm being pretty damn nice," he said, glancing at Lilly again. She was laughing.

There was a long pause. _"Put her on the phone."_

Dean handed Lilly the phone. "Don't give him too many details," he said quietly. His lips grazed across her neck and collarbone before moving away. He chuckled when Lilly had to stifle a sigh of pleasure. She gave him a dirty look before speaking to Sam.

"Hey, Sam."

_"You doing okay, Lil?" _He asked. Lilly laughed lightly and looked over at Dean, who was watching her innocently.

"Yeah, I'm great," she said with a smile in Dean's direction. He winked.

Sam paused again. _"Are you sure? Is there something going on that I'm missing?"_

"Nope. Not a thing."

_"Okay… We think we found where Conquest is. We just need someone to go in and kill him. Bobby told me to warn you not to get anywhere near him without some protection amulet thing, or you."_

"Got it. We ran into him."

_"What?"_ Even Dean could hear Sam's screech.

"Well, not him. But someone he was using. We talked to him."

Sam was silent for a long time. _"Lil, just please be careful." _He sounded as if he was about to hang up, then added, _"And make sure Dean behaves himself."_

Lilly smiled. "I'll see what I can do about that," she said slyly, eyeing Dean.

Sam said goodbye and hung up, and Lilly turned to Dean. He didn't see the playful look on her face; he was focusing the sheet that was slipping with her every move.

"I'm supposed to make sure you behave," Lilly said, giving Dean a mischievous look. Dean's eyes grew round, and he grinned.

"Do I get a spanking if I don't?"

He dodged the pillow thrown at him, and darted across the room before Lilly could throw another. He leaned over her, kissing her and pinning her hands. She forgot about throwing pillows at him and pulled him to her, wanting more of his kisses.

Finally, he pulled himself away from her and sat up on the side of the bed.

"We do need to get out of here," he said, touching his forehead gently to hers.

Lilly nodded. "Let me dressed," she said. Before she stood, she gave his lips a lingering kiss, her fingers caressing the hand he'd placed on her cheek.

Dean's gaze followed her as she crossed the room to the bathroom, grabbing her clothes on the way. He smiled, knowing that that gorgeous, brilliant woman was all his. It didn't matter that they had an impending Apocalypse, a rogue Horseman, or an army of both heaven and hell fighting to control him and Sam.

Dean Winchester was happy.

Dean listed to Lilly humming as she changed, and grudgingly pulled his jeans from the night before back on and dug through his bag for a fresh t-shirt and flannel. In the process, he came across a small envelope corner sticking out of his duffel. Curious, he pulled it out.

_To Dean, _was written on the outside.

He groaned. It was from Chuck, and he had been instructed to open it after… Dean grinned. He didn't want to think too much about it, or they would never get out the door on time.

Sighing, he tore open the envelope and pulled out the paper inside. It wasn't a manuscript, or one of Chuck's prophecies, but a simple letter, written on lined paper. Dean began reading.

_Dean,_

_ I guess this means things worked out okay. Unless you're reading this before… I'll just hope you're not._

_ Since you listened to my advice, for once, it means that there's a chance to avoid something extremely (and I stress extremely) bad happening. I wish I could tell you more, but I've seen what would happen if I did, and the results are beyond disastrous. So for now, you'll just have to trust me. Castiel has backed me up on this one._

_ In the next few months, you and Lilly both are going to go through terrible things, but those will be nothing compared to what could happen if you don't listen to me now._

"Whatcha reading?" Lilly's voice interrupted him, and Dean looked up. He smiled at her and stroked her arm before answering.

"Something Chuck gave me when we went to see him," he said absently. Lilly nodded, understanding washing over her face. Dean frowned, and held the letter up to her. "You know about this?"

She shrugged. "I know the gist of it," she replied. Dean just shook his head in bewilderment, and went back to reading.

_I've searched any and every way to possible avoid what's coming, but there's nothing I can find at all that will help. I am sorry about that. All I can tell you is that something could happen to Lilly. When it does, I need you to remember two things:_

_ First, remember the town Tenney, Minnesota. It's on the western edge of the state. To save time, take Interstate 90, then go north on Highway 75. It'll be about a hundred miles north. When something goes wrong, go there, and get there as fast as you can._

_ Second, enjoy the next few months with Lilly. Really. Dean, I know you know what I mean, and trust me, it's important. Don't hold back with anything._

_ I know I've given up on praying for most things, but I'm praying you can get through this. God help us if you don't._

_ Best regards, _

_ Chuck Shurley. _

Unsure of what the letter meant, Dean set it down. One thing he did know, he was going to wring Chuck's neck the next time he saw him. He was sick of the prophet's meddling and being unable to give details on anything.

"Come here," he said quietly to Lilly. She crossed the room quickly, worry creasing her brow. Dean held his arms open, frowning himself. No matter how much Chuck irritated him, he tended to be right, and Chuck had said something would happen to Lilly.

Dean pulled Lilly onto his lap once she was close enough, nuzzling her neck and holding her tight against his chest. She rubbed his back gently, and placed a hand on the back of his neck. Having her close was comforting, especially since a feeling of dread had settled over him. Dean wished he could shake the feeling that what Chuck was talking about was going to tear Lilly from him, after he'd just been able to tell her…

"I love you," Dean whispered from where he was buried in the crook of Lilly's neck. "I mean it," he said, looking into her eyes.

"I know," Lilly replied, caressing his cheek. "I love you, too," she murmured. Feeling better, Dean laid a hand on her thigh.

"Ready to go, princess?"

Lilly chuckled. "Anytime," she said. Dean grabbed the few things he'd pulled from his duffel and stuffed them back in. Lilly did the same, and headed to the door. She smiled when he opened it for her and bowed dramatically.

"After you," he said, grinning. He gave her shoulder a half-hug before moving towards the main office to check out. "Hey, by the way," he started. Lilly glanced up at him. "You ever been to Tenney, Minnesota?"

Dean expected a confused smile, or even a bitter glare, but was completely unprepared for the naked fear that completely consumed Lilly's face. The color drained from her cheeks, and her eyes were wild with panic.

Quickly she seemed to regain her composure, and she gave Dean a smile. "Nope, don't think so," she said.

Dean wanted to push further, but the fearful look still present in her eyes stopped him.

_Thanks for all the reviews! I look forward to hearing more from everyone, and reviews help with the writing, so keep them coming!_


	26. Chapter 26

_ So I realized that in the last two chapters I got the towns mixed up… It's not a major detail, but Dean and Lilly were supposed to be in Cut Bank, not Whitefish. Sam and Bobby are in Whitefish, waiting for Dean and Lilly to meet them. Sorry if it confused anyone!_

Chapter Twenty Six

The panicked moment outside the motel was quickly forgotten on the drive, as they left the small town of Cut Bank behind them. Lilly sat in the middle seat, with Dean's arm around her shoulder. The radio blared a classic rock station from its speakers, and Dean and Lilly sang along, laughing.

Dean figured it would take them about two hours to reach Whitefish and Kalispell, and had arranged with Sam to meet at a motel just east of the latter. When Sam offered to let Dean share the room with Bobby and he would stay with Lilly, Dean turned it down. Sam was obviously confused, but left it alone.

About halfway there, Lilly seemed to grow quiet, reluctant to look at Dean. He stroked a hand down her hair.

"What's wrong, princess?" He asked softly as they came to a stoplight. She looked at him worriedly.

"What if I can't do this?" She asked him. Concern, as well as fear, showed on her features. "What if the Horseman was right, and I'm not strong enough…"

Forcing himself to recall it, Dean reminded her of the night at the strip club close to when they'd first met where she'd killed a demon. He also reminded her that she'd killed Ezekiel.

She didn't keep pressing, but he knew that his words hadn't done much to calm her fears.

"Hey, Lil," he said, speeding down the empty highway. She raised her chin and met his eyes. "I want you to try something."

Dean kept his eyes on the road, and ignored Lilly's piercing stare. "Your… Thing can work on angels, right?"

Lilly shrugged. "I think so," she replied.

Dean looked at her, hoping to convey some of the seriousness of what he was telling her through his eyes. "I want you to look for an angel named Zachariah."

She frowned at him. "What do you want me to do, and why?"

"He's a nasty son of a bitch that makes my life hell."

"Alright."

"Sam's, too."

"You still haven't said what you want me to do to him."

Dean gazed into her eyes briefly, meaningfully. "Kill him." Lilly stared back, her eyes suspicious. Then something clicked, and she nodded.

For the third time, Dean felt the invasive pressure in his mind as Lilly searched for Zachariah. He felt like bait on a hook, where Zachariah was the fish. He supposed it wasn't a completely inaccurate description.

"Got him," Lilly said through gritted teeth. Suddenly, she gasped in pain, and Dean swerved the car.

"Hey, kids," said a voice from the back. Zachariah was smiling from the rearview mirror. Dean cursed and pulled the car to the shoulder of the highway. "Miss me?" He simpered at Dean.

"Screw you," Dean muttered.

Zachariah shook a finger at him. "I'd say the same to you, but Miss Holloway here already took care of that, didn't you?" He turned his gaze to Lilly, and she glared.

He turned back to Dean to speak to him again, but when he opened his mouth, no sound came out. The angel's eyes darted to Lilly; Dean saw she was choking off his ability to speak.

"Speaking of missing you, why haven't we heard from you lately?" Dean demanded. He glanced at Lilly, and she let up just enough for Zachariah to gasp a breath and for him to speak.

"Well, see, Dean," Zachariah choked out, glancing at Lilly, "thanks to your girlfriend here, we can't get near you. She's too dangerous…" he trailed off as Lilly choked him again.

Dean glanced at Lilly. "Can you do that thing you were talking about at Chuck's, destroy his mind?" He looked over to Zachariah as he still spoke to Lilly. "So you can control him?"

"I can try," she said. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and threw herself into the effort. Her breath came in gasps, and she began to shake. Dean watched worriedly, afraid to move, or speak, for fear of interrupting her and breaking her concentration.

Zachariah's eyes were full of panic as he clawed at his own throat. Dean watched him grimly. Just when the angel's eyes were almost solid white, there was a rustle, and he was gone.

Lilly slumped forward, her breathing ragged. Dean pulled her forward and rubbed her back, telling her she was alright. Slowly, her breathing went back to normal, and she gazed up at Dean defiantly.

"I almost had it," she said, "I could have, too. It wasn't as hard as I'd thought it would be but someone- something- stepped in and broke the connection." She shook her head. "I'm sorry," she added.

Dean pulled her head to his chest. "It's okay," he said soothingly, "I shouldn't have asked you to try,"

Lilly pulled back and glared. "I was fine." She emphasized. "I just got interrupted. He had help; I didn't."

Dean didn't try to argue with her anymore, and he quickly kissed her before pulling the car back onto the highway. He vowed to be more careful in the future.

"You know, what are we going to tell Sam?" Lilly asked, obviously eager to change the subject. She was leaning against Dean, playing with his hand that was draped over her shoulder.

Dean smiled. "This'll be awesome to mess with him," he said. He hoped his little brother's feelings wouldn't be hurt too bad. He knew Sam had a thing for Lilly.

The same thing seemed to occur to Lilly. "Maybe you shouldn't," she said cautiously. Dean shrugged, and then looked at her with big eyes.

"Come on, just once?"

Lilly laughed and swatted at him, but didn't say anything else. Dean glanced back at the road, and up at the dark clouds above them. The weather had been chilly and overcast for a while now, and while Dean recognized that it was winter, he missed at least seeing the sun every once in a while. He hoped the constant bad weather wasn't a sign of the impending Apocalypse.

Pulling into Kalispell, Dean glanced around eagerly. "I remember coming here as a kid," he said excitedly to Lilly. She listened with interest as he told her about the hunting trip with his dad, coming after a spirit haunting the local school, but the feeling that this was going to go horrible wrong was still nagging at her.

Dean parked the Impala next to the car he recognized as Bobby's. He grinned wistfully when he saw it was a four-door truck. Bobby and Sam must have come with that little scheme. They probably thought they were doing him a favor.

Glancing at Lilly, and recalling their night together, he figured he should probably get down on his knees and thank them profusely.

Marching across the parking lot to room 18, which Sam had said was his and Bobby's, Dean banged on the door. Lilly followed close behind him.

Sam peeked out the door, through the chain, and, upon seeing it was them, grinned and opened it wide.

"Hey, guys," he said. Bobby grunted from his wheelchair on the other side of the room. Sam clapped Dean's shoulder, and gave Lilly a quick hug. He'd been more worried about Lilly than he cared to let on.

"So what's with the rush?" Dean asked. Bobby looked up at him.

"I found something that might help us with Conquest," he said. He shook a finger at Lilly. "You sure she's on our side?"

Dean glanced at Lilly. "Hundred percent." He said with certainty. Sam frowned a little, but didn't say anything.

"Alright," Bobby said. "I'm still watching you," he added to Lilly. Lilly grimaced, but nodded.

"Anyway," Bobby went on, "I found this in some real old book. Some symbol to ward off dreamwalkers. I thought we could test it out," he said, giving Lilly a stern look.

Giving Dean a look, Lilly stepped forward. She saw the way Bobby placed a hand casually on the butt on the gun sitting on the table, and so she stopped and held up a hand. With her free hand, she rolled up her sleeve and lifted her arm. Bobby's jaw dropped open.

"How the hell did you get that?" He asked in disbelief. He looked at Dean. "You sure she's really a dreamwalker?"

"Oh, yeah," Dean said quickly. "I'm sure."

Lilly stepped in. "I got caught and held for a month with this thing," she explained. "So I got it tattooed on to become immune to it, and yes, it hurt like hell and I almost died."

Bobby just stared for a minute, and then shook his head. "Point is, it should work on any others we come across. You boys should probably get that tattooed on you like she's got, to keep from being a victim to Conquest or a different one.

"Everything I've read says that dreamwalkers aren't immune to their own ability, so Lilly here could kill another one with her power if she needed to. She's just gotta be stronger. You are, aren't you?" Bobby eyed Lilly suspiciously.

She glanced nervously at Dean. "Let's hope so."

Later on in the evening, Dean sat in Sam and Bobby's room going over maps and their research, while Lilly was in the room next door settling in and taking a shower. If it were up to Dean, he'd be there with her, but she'd told him it'd be better for him to stay, and not be so blatant about it just yet.

Sam was watching the news, seeing if he could see any signs of something big coming there way. Other than the weather, there wasn't much.

"You remember coming here when we were little?" Dean asked suddenly. Sam looked up from the news.

"Not really," he said. "I think I was like five."

Dean nodded, thinking. "Didn't Dad have a storage unit up here?"

Sam shrugged. "Bobby would probably know-"

"Yeah, he did," Bobby said, rolling his chair into the room. "It's about fifteen minutes from here."

"Huh," Dean said. "You got a key, or something?" The old man grinned.

"I reckon I do," he said. "It's on this damn key ring somewhere…" Dean stood up, glancing at the clock. It was just after eight.

"Well, I think I'll turn in. I'll get that key in the morning, Bobby," Dean added. "Night."

"Wait, where the hell are you going?" Sam asked. "Dean, it's early, and Lilly's in there…"

Dean grinned. "I know," he said. Sam's expression was confused, and then went dark with understanding.

"Dean…"

Dean smacked his brother's shoulder. "Don't worry, Sammy, I'll play nice," he said. "Ish," he added under his breath.

"Please don't tell me you-"

Cutting Sam off with another smack, Dean grinned and moved towards the door. "Like I said, Sammy, don't worry about it," he said as he strutted out into the hall. He heard Sam yell for him, but didn't turn around. Instead, he pulled out his key and opened the door next to Sam's, and quietly came inside.

He heard the shower running, and, suppressing a strong desire to do otherwise, sat on the small couch and flipped on the TV. The sound of the shower shutting off woke him from a slight doze.

He moved stealthily to the door, and cracked it open. Steam rolled out. Lilly was standing in front of the mirror, a towel wrapped around her, shaking out her wet hair. She jumped when Dean opened the door, and then smiled when she saw it was him.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, Dean nuzzled the back of her neck. She smiled at his reflection in the mirror. Briefly, Dean thought that the walls of the motel were probably pretty thin. When Lilly twisted around in his arms and reached up on her toes to kiss him, he decided he could care less.

"Does Sam know yet?" Lilly asked, slightly out of breath. Dean kissed her neck, and picked her up and set her on the bathroom counter.

"Don't care," Dean managed to say as Lilly unbuttoned his shirt and kissed him.

If the night before had been tentative and gentle, this time was wildly passionate, both Lilly and Dean finally being able to let go of the tension they'd had between them for so long. As they lay in bed, Dean once again thought he should at least thank Sam and Bobby.

Dean didn't consider himself to be clingy or cuddly, but here he was, in a dark motel room, cradling Lilly to his chest and genuinely enjoying just being close to her, and repeatedly professing his undying love for her. Six months ago, he would have been disappointed in himself.

Now, he couldn't imagine having it any other way.

For the first time since they met, Dean and Lilly actually talked, discussing each other's lives, families, pasts… Dean heard himself telling Lilly everything- how his Mom had died, the confusion of growing up on the road and always looking after Sam; finally the subject lingered on his dad. John Winchester had been Dean's hero growing up, but there were things that Dean had hated him for as well, things he'd never even admitted to Sam. They talked about Sam, about the deal, and about hell.

Lilly listened to everything he said, stroking his cheek gently whenever he paused, and offering insight when he faltered. When Dean said he thought that he was damaged, and didn't understand what she saw in him, Lilly laughed, thinking he was joking.

"I'm serious," he said quietly. "I… I've got nothing. No money, no job other than hunting, no concept of what a normal family is like-"

Lilly pressed a finger to his lips. "That's okay," she whispered, pulling herself closer to him, "I don't want any of that."

"Then what you could possibly want?"

She looked at him as if it were the obvious thing in the world, smiled, and looked down at the sheets. "I just want you," she said, "And I don't care how damaged you are or what you've been through. As long as I've got you," she affirmed.

Dean gave her a smile, and pulled her into his arms. He hoped she knew that if he could, he'd give her the world. Luckily, the one thing she wanted was the only thing he had.

_Thanks for all the awesome reviews! I love hearing what you all think. Please, keep it up!_


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

Dean stretched up from the motel bed as the morning shone into his eyes, waking him. He gently stroked Lilly's hair, lying across her face from where she'd fallen asleep, and brushed it back. Her eyes were closed peacefully, and Dean smiled as she hugged the sheets tighter to her in her sleep. Not able to will himself to leave just yet, Dean leaned back down and pulled Lilly's arms from the sheets, wrapping them around himself instead.

Her eyes slowly opened, and she reached up to cup his cheek. He closed his eyes and sighed at her touch.

"How'd you sleep?" Dean asked quietly. Lilly smiled mischievously.

"The last two nights, I've slept great," she said, "I think it has something to do with the activities beforehand," she added, raising an eyebrow.

Dean faked a look of shock. "Don't look at me," he said as he kissed her lips softly, "you're the one who always has to look so good. You're seducing me," he pouted.

Lilly pulled away, about to get out of bed. "Fine." She grinned. "I'll stop, and I'll share a room with Sam."

"No!" Dean protested, grabbing her arm and pulling her back down toward him. He held her tightly, their bodies pressed together. "I like it," he said against her hair, grinning.

"I like it, too," Lilly said. "But now, I need to get up. I can't breathe." Dean loosened his grip on her and she grabbed one of his t-shirts from the floor, and put it on.

Dean lay in bed for another minute, watching Lilly move around, organizing things as she went. "I think my dad had a storage place up here," he offered, gauging her reaction.

"Oh?"

"I think I'm gonna head up there later."

Lilly smiled. "That'll be good for you," she said. Dean looked up at her.

"Do you want to go, or…?" he trailed off.

Lilly crossed the room to the bed and sat down next to Dean's hip. He was still sprawled flat out, and laid a hand on her thigh. She smiled.

"If you want me to go, I'd be happy to. But," she said, running a hand down his chest and stomach, "this sounds like something you need to do alone." She glanced up at him, and he saw the understanding in her eyes. He realized again how perfect she was for him; she'd recognized what he needed without him ever having to say it.

"Thanks," he said quietly, letting her pull him up out of bed. "I'm gonna go get the key from Bobby. You gonna be okay with the two of them here?"

Lilly waved a hand. "Psh. I can handle them."

Dean grinned. "Let's hope so." She kissed him goodbye and said she'd make sure things stayed under control before he headed out the door.

Bobby answered the door to Dean's knock, and pulled it open for him. "Guessin' you want that key," Bobby said.

"Yep," Dean confirmed. Bobby rummaged through his key ring with far too many keys on it, and finally found the one he was looking for. He took it off the ring and handed it to Dean.

"Don't be surprised if he had some kinda trap set up," Bobby cautioned. Dean nodded. Sam stood near Bobby, watching Dean take the key. Dean caught his eye.

"You wanna come, Sammy?"

Sam immediately shook his head. "No, Dean, I'll stay here. Keep Lilly company." The look in his eyes made Dean think it a whole lot less to do with Lilly, and more to do with the fact that Sam and John Winchester had never been able to get along.

Dean didn't press it further and headed out the door. In minutes, he was headed down the road with the directions Bobby had given him. It would take him less than twenty minutes to get there.

When he pulled into the parking lot, he turned the car off and sat of a moment, mentally preparing himself for what he might find. He always felt like he'd never really known his father, and had had to find out many things that he'd never expected after his dad died. In a place like this, there was no telling what secrets might be uncovered.

With a sigh, Dean checked the gun he almost always kept at his waistband, and steeled himself for going in. He stepped out into the parking lot, and, looking up, noticed it was still overcast.

_Great, _he thought sarcastically. He hadn't seen the sun in what seemed like weeks.

He glanced around quickly before pulling the key from his pocket and glancing at the number- 7. He scanned the big doors for number seven, and found it near the end of the row.

The garage-style door that would never allow a car inside squeaked as Dean opened it. He instantly held up the gun, making a quick scan of the room. It was cluttered, and Dean saw the full extent of this as he flicked on the light.

The room was filled with guns, knives, and boxes, the content of which Dean couldn't even begin to imagine. The incident at Black Rock a few years ago kept him from opening any of them.

He began searching through the things- there were a few old desks, and Dean sat down at one. Almost reverently, he opened the center drawer. There was a single sheet of paper lying in it.

_Sawed-off shotgun- Dean_

_ 9mm Beretta- Sam_

_ Ivory handled knife- Dean_

_ Cherokee arrowheads- Sam_

The list went on for almost the entire page, cataloging who was to have what. Dean glanced around and saw most of the items on the list. The last entry on the list caught his eye.

_Carved wood box on top shelf, and all contents- if Dean ever manages to find himself a girl that's a hunter, give it to her. Belonged to Mary._

Curiosity overwhelmed him, and Dean searched all the top shelves for a wooden box. Finally, on the other side of the room, he found it.

The box was intricately carved with symbols Dean didn't recognize. He thought he saw some Chinese letters, but he wasn't sure. Taking a deep breath, he opened the box carefully, praying there were no nasty surprises in it.

Dean's jaw dropped when he what was inside. The first thing to catch his eye was the beautiful gun sitting on top of everything else- it looked a lot like the Colt, but Dean didn't recognize the make or model. The wooden grip was inlaid with what looked like ivory and silver, and the symbols carved into it were similar to those on the box top.

Dean smiled when he imagined his mother with this gun; it seemed a perfect match.

The next thing he noticed was a knife in a leather holster, and he carefully removed it from the box. He pulled the knife out slowly, noticing how sharp the blade was even though it likely hadn't been touched in years. The handle was curved, and matched the gun.

Dean poked through the rest of the box, finding small knick-knacks here and there. He smiled fondly when he found a necklace he vaguely remembered his mother wearing- a round green stone on a gold chain.

Finally, there was only one thing left in the box, and it was a much smaller box. Dean realized with a start it was a ring box.

Very slowly, he lifted it into the light. He had an idea of what was inside, but he couldn't believe that out of all the storage units his dad had had in the entire country, this was here. Where he was.

Especially now.

With extreme care, Dean opened the box. Inside were two gold rings, one smaller than the other. He lifted his dad's out and read the inscription inside.

_February 1__st__, 1985_

Frowning, he didn't think that was when his parent's anniversary was. He vaguely remembered them celebrating in the fall.

Understanding washed over him when he realized that must have been the date they'd gotten engaged. He smiled wistfully; were they alive, that date would just around the corner.

Dean moved back across the room and picked up the list. John must have left it as a sort of will, should Dean or Sam come back someday. Dean guessed that was why Bobby had the key; he was the closest hunter around that John trusted.

He was torn between wanting to leave everything exactly the way he found it, or take the things on the list with him. Making a quick decision, he made several trips to the Impala to take the items on the list back to the motel. The guns and knives would come in handy, and it would be nice to have something resembling an inheritance from his dad, even if it was a deadly weapon to kill monsters.

The last thing he brought out of the storage room before locking it up tight was the box that the paper had said belonged to Mary Winchester. He put it in the trunk where he was sure not anyone snooping around would find it.

A recurring thought was bouncing around in his mind, but he still wasn't sure…

Dean opened the door of Bobby and Sam's room to find Lilly sitting at the table, her legs primly crossed, staring down Bobby over a hand of poker. Bobby was glaring, and Lilly raised an eyebrow. Neither of them turned when Dean entered the room.

Sam was sitting on the bed, looking back and forth between the two, looking tormented. His gaze flew to Dean, and he gave his older brother a look begging for salvation.

Dean grinned, then shrugged helplessly.

Bobby gave Lilly a sly smile, and laid down his cards. "Full house," he said, sticking out his chin. "Beat that, sweetheart,"

Lilly shook her head. "Too bad…" she began. "Royal flush," she said with a wicked grin.

"Dammit!" Bobby shouted. He turned to Dean. "Did you teach her this?" He demanded.

Dean held up his hands innocently. "Nope." He wondered where Lilly had learned to play poker.

Bobby shook his head and muttered that Lilly had probably cheated and read his mind, and Lilly looked at Dean and shook her head when Bobby's back was turned.

"So did we find out anything new?" Dean asked. Bobby calmed down and shook his head.

"Things here in Kalispell are pretty quiet, and in Whitefish there's been a few murders but no hard evidence. Across the lake in Polson it's lookin' clear as can be."

Dean sighed. "Damn," he said. "I hoped you all had something."

"We'll head into Whitefish later and see what we can find out." Sam offered. Dean nodded.

"Guess it's research till Bobby gets his panties untwisted."

After a little bickering, Dean finally agreed that all of them riding in Bobby's truck would be the best idea. He made several comments about all of them not fitting in the "two-seater."

Dean drove while Bobby sat in the front, with it being the only wheelchair-accessible spot. Sam and Lilly sat in the back.

It was about a fifteen minute drive to Whitefish, and when they arrived, they found it was a typical small town with little to offer in the way of shops or things to do.

Dean hopped out of the truck. "So what are we doing, just poking around?"

"You three do whatever you think you need to; I'm headed to that bar over there to talk to the locals." Bobby said. Dean rolled his eyes as Bobby wheeled off down the sidewalk.

"Alright, Sam, you cover the north end, me and Lilly will take the south," Dean barked. Lilly nodded and discreetly checked the knife at her ankle and the gun in the waistband of her jeans.

Sam frowned. "Dean, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure thing, kiddo." Dean said, walking a few paces away. "What's up?"

"What the hell happened in Cut Bank?"

Dean grinned, but didn't respond. Sam looked a little nauseated.

"Dean, you do realize the walls in that motel aren't very thick."

Once again, Dean suppressed his laughter.

"And you also realize that Bobby and I aren't deaf."

"It was a beautiful thing, Sammy-"

"No. Just stop." Sam was holding up his hands and grimacing. "I think I heard all I wanted to last night." Dean smirked, and Sam shook his head. "So what the hell happened? You go from leaving her at a hospital alone and hating her to… To… That."

Guilt washed over Dean, and his tone turned serious. "Sammy, if we die doing this-"

"Don't say that."

"I have to. I don't know when my time runs out." Dean explained, but Sam still looked unconvinced.

"Just… If I'm gonna die soon, which I probably am, can't I just be happy before I go? That too much to ask?" Dean's eyes pleaded for understanding.

Unable to make a comment, Sam just nodded.

Lilly moved quietly among the locals in the thrift store. She, Dean and Sam had all gone to different places around town, trying to find information. After already checking the book store and the restaurant and coming up empty, Lilly had tried the little shop at the corner.

When she first entered the store, she'd gotten a few glances, but nothing more. Several of the women watched the way she moved and carried herself, and the men just watched. While Lilly found it a little unnerving, she ignored it and headed to the counter.

"Hi," she said cheerfully to the man behind the counter. He eyed her suspiciously. "I'm new in town-" Lilly smiled and glanced at her shoes, feigning shyness, "- and I was just wanting to get to know some of my new neighbors." She put on her most convincing smile.

The man scratched his head. "Where you say you from?" He drawled.

"I didn't, actually, but I'm from northern Ohio."

He raised his eyebrows. "Long way,"

Lilly tried to smile patiently. "Sure is." The man watched her with doubt in his eyes for another moment before he stuck his hand over the counter.

"Name's Walt," he said.

"Emily," Lilly replied. She felt the connection her mind had already formed with his deepen when she touched his hand. She didn't care the least bit what his name was or about the town itself. She was searching for something in particular.

"So, do you get a lot of business out here?" Lilly asked, sounding fascinated. Walt scratched his head.

"Enough to do alright," he began. "Suppose it just depends on the season."

"With Christmas just past, you probably got a lot of things in."

Walt nodded. "Yep," he said as he stroked his stubbly beard, "Come to think of it though, it's really been in the last couple weeks that it's picked up," he finished, looking at her.

Lilly leaned in. "Really? Almost everyone has said that about business around here." She was moments from finding what she was looking for.

Walt sighed. "Yeah, we're getting' more visitors, and such lately. Don't have a clue why."

Lilly forced a chuckle. "Well, business is business," she said, straightening. "Good to meet you, Walt," she said as she turned.

"You, too. Good luck movin' in." Walt called. Lilly smiled her thanks and grimly turned towards the door.

She'd found everything she needed.

_Thanks for the reviews! I'm still hoping for more, but the ones I've gotten have been good. Also, for future reference, after I'm done with this story (which will be a while yet, trust me) I'm thinking of writing something with Sam; whether it's connected to this one or not, I haven't decided. Just a thought, what do you think?_


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Eight

"Are you out of your mind?" Dean shouted. Sam was sitting on the bed back in the motel room, and Bobby was sitting in his chair, shuffling through papers. Lilly was staring defiantly up at Dean.

"No. I don't see why I need your permission; I could have this perfectly under control-"

"You could get killed, that's why!" Dean almost screamed. Lilly rose up on her toes, her eyes glittering dangerously.

"What's your plan, then? Hmm? You know we have to kill Conquest, and fast. I can do it, here and now."

Dean shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Damn it, Lilly, will you listen to me? Please?"

Lilly crossed her arms over her chest, her head thrown back in rebellion. Dean recognized that it was as much compliance as he was going to get.

"This could be a trap. For all we know, he could know we're here and planning this. From what Bobby's told me, he could be listening right now. The point is, _we don't know._ You don't know how powerful he is."

Lilly narrowed her eyes and glared. "Are you saying I can't do it?"

Carefully, Dean placed his hands on either of her shoulders. "No. I'm saying that there might be something we're not expecting."

Looking into his eyes, Lilly saw fear. Not for himself, but for her. She realized how different he was from when she'd met him; then he would never have even considered such a thing, and would have blatantly told her that no, she couldn't do it.

"I don't want to lose you," Dean whispered, low enough so Bobby and Sam couldn't hear. His words only confirmed what she'd been thinking. She looked into his eyes to try to convince him.

"Dean, if I don't do this, he'll come after all of us. He'll kill all of you in a heartbeat. If he can't do it himself, he'll get someone else who will. Please, just let me try." Lilly tried to reach into his mind and see what he was thinking, but all she was concern for her, and frustration at himself.

Finally, Dean backed up a step and hung his head. "Alright." He conceded. "God help me, but alright."

Lilly gave him a grim smile. "Let's get this over with," she said quietly. Dean, his head still down, nodded.

Bobby and Sam exchanged a glance. "Alright, ladies, wrap it up," Bobby snapped irritable. He tossed amulets to Sam and Dean, keeping one for himself. He then held up what Lilly recognized to be tarot cards with the symbol she was all too familiar with on it. Bobby pointed at the symbol.

"Did some more research," he said gruffly. "This is called a _grushdeva,_ created by some guy in Europe who took the basic design of the ancient Egyptians. It should keep dreamwalkers away, but…" Bobby glanced at Lilly. "Obviously there are exceptions."

Dean held up the amulet. "What's this for?" Bobby shrugged.

"Helps ward off evil spirits, or possession from most anything. Figured it couldn't hurt."

Dean and Sam nodded.

"Alright, kids, we're headin' out."

Lilly decided that they should go back into town, so she could someone- if not Walt, from the thrift store- who had seen Conquest so she could make a connection and destroy him quickly and, hopefully, easily. Dean had fidgeted the whole way there, trying to calm the nerves that refused to settle.

When they pulled into a parking space on the side of the road, Lilly took a deep breath before stepping out. The gathering darkness was becoming oppressive, and she struggled to keep a measured amount of calm.

Dean felt the same way, and he patted the inside of his jacket to make sure he still had what he wanted. They were both still there.

"Hey, Lil," he said softly, when Sam and Bobby had moved off to survey the surrounding area. She turned towards him. "I have something for you,"

Lilly cocked her head to one side, curious as to what he had, and why now. He recognized the unspoken question and answered it.

"If we make it out of this-" Dean swallowed painfully "- then I'll explain what these are. For now, I just want you to have them. And please, for the love of God, use them." He glanced at his feet before reaching into his jacket and coming out with his mother's gun and knife. Lilly took them carefully in outstretched hands, marveling at them. She ran the edge of her finger over the blade of the knife, and shivered slightly when it drew blood, even at the light contact. After tucking the gun into the waistband of her jeans and putting the knife in the holster around her bicep, underneath her jacket, she looked up at Dean.

"Thanks," she said softly. She knew they meant a lot to him, but she didn't press for why. Instead, she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. Unable to hold back his worry, Dean pulled her closer and kissed her lips, hard. A few second later, he pulled back and looked down at her, brushing a wisp of hair from her face.

"Go get 'em," he said weakly. Lilly gave him a cocky grin and turned back, walking down the sidewalk a ways, pacing back and forth every now and then. Dean watched as her body moved effortlessly but her eyes wandered, searching.

She came to a smooth stop and stared straight ahead. In the distance, there was a man walking towards her. In minutes, he was but a hundred feet from her. Dean felt his muscles tense.

He saw Sam and Bobby positioned behind Lilly, Bobby with his shotgun at the ready, Sam with both guns and knives. Lilly stared down the man walking towards her. Dean thought he looked just like any ordinary man, and he didn't see any rings. He glanced at Lilly; she shook her head.

"Hello, darlin'," the man said, giving Lilly a toothy grin. She restrained the urge to spat back. "Aren't you just a sight for sore eyes."

"Go to hell," Lilly growled.

"Ah, ah, ah. Not yet, darlin', I've got so much more to do!" The man took a step closer. Lilly's hand began to move towards her knife. He chuckled, looked down, and spread his arms before his body. "Honey, I've got more of these than you can count. You can't touch me," he grinned.

Lilly's arm fell away from the knife, and Dean saw her eyes focus with a deadly resolve. Calm washed over her expression, and she reached out for the man, to lay a hand on his shoulder.

He danced out of her reach at the last second. "Tsk, tsk, you still have to touch your victims? I thought you'd be a bit more of a challenge than that," the man hooked his thumbs in his suspenders.

A wicked smile crept up the corners of Lilly's mouth. Her eyes once again focused with lethal intent, and the man fell to his knees. His body began to shake, and the voice coming from his mouth sounded choked.

"That the best you can do, darlin'?" The man's mouth opened with in a yawn that wasn't a yawn, and his head frantically twisted from side to side. Lilly smiled. Her hand tightened into a fist, and she pulled the knife free with her other hand. She was beginning to shake with the effort. "Gonna have to… Try harder than that." The dreamwalker's voice was clearly strangled. Lilly crouched down slightly and poised the knife.

For a split second, Dean saw the man for who he was, and he was terrified. He was trying to back away, but both Conquest's grip on his mind and Lilly's chokehold on his body kept him from moving an inch. Dean didn't know how Lilly was doing it, but he was clearly locked in place, without her laying a hand on him.

"I can do that," Lilly said menacingly as she lowered the knife. Dean saw her resolve darken as she plunged her powers home, but held the knife.

"Not fast enough, darlin'," Conquest laughed before escaping the man's mind. Dean realized she'd just barely lost him, by the devastation in her eyes and the horrified feeling of emptiness that her face betrayed.

The man crashed to the ground, but was quickly brought back up. His eyes didn't look the same as they had a moment ago, but Dean recognized a difference.

"Mistress, what do you want from me?" The man begged. Dean realized with a start that this must have been what Lilly meant when she said she could destroy a person's mind.

He shuddered to think about it.

Lilly placed a hand on the man's shoulder and looked in his eyes. "Forget this ever happened. You don't know any of us; you don't know the man who was possessing you. Go back home." Her voice was heavy. Before the man turned away, Dean saw her close her eyes in concentration. Once again, she shook with effort, and she stumbled forward just as the man shook his head, as if to clear it. He looked at all of them, concerned.

"Who the hell are you? Get out of here, before I call the police!" The man said threateningly as he stepped forward. Dean scooped up Lilly and headed to the car.

Lilly wobbled dizzily on her feet, looking drained. When her bright green eyes focused on Dean, he noticed the gleam of accomplishment, not yet tainted by lost opportunity; by failure.

"I can reverse it," Lilly said in awe. Dean shushed her.

"That's great," he murmured. His mind was swimming with all the ways that this was a very, very bad idea, and regardless of the fact that he was pretty sure Lilly had just gotten stronger still, she didn't look so good.

As if to testify to that, she slumped in his arms, her head tilting to one side.

Dean felt panic rising in his chest; he didn't even want to contemplate the last time he'd seen her like that. He tried to calm down, telling himself she wasn't bleeding, and her breathing was normal.

Glancing back to look at Sam, Dean realized he must look truly panicked, and made an effort to hide it. Gently he laid her in the backseat of the truck, taking his own stop at the wheel. Sam was helping Bobby wheel himself in. Finally, when Sam's door slammed shut, Dean pulled away, leaving the parking lot behind them.

Sam's mind wandering as they drove back to the motel. Absently, he found himself brushing the hair back from Lilly's eyes, as she sat curled up in the seat next to him.

He refused to let himself believe anything Dean said. Sure, he knew Lilly was head over heels crazy for Dean, but… Dean couldn't take things seriously.

Dean would use her, break her heart, and if it didn't kill or get her killed, Sam would be there for her when it happened.

As much as he hated to believe something so awful about his own brother, Sam truly believed that Dean's ability to really care about another person, especially in the way Lilly wanted him to care, had stayed in hell when Castiel had pulled his body out. Dean's soul, his heart, his will to live simply for the joy of it, had burned up in the pit.

All he was doing with Lilly now was trying to fill an empty hole.

Dean pulled into the parking lot and threw the truck in park more forcefully than he intended. Bobby gave him a sharp look.

Ignoring it, Dean moved to the back and opened the door; Sam was beginning to lift Lilly out.

"I got her," Dean said, sounding harsher than he'd meant. In the light of motel porch, he saw a glint of anger in Sam's eyes, quickly repressed. Dean didn't miss the unspoken threat- his brother knew about him and Lilly, and wasn't happy.

_Thanks to all the people who've added this story or me to their favorite stories/ favorite author/ story alerts, etc.; it's much appreciated. That said, you know what's even more appreciated? Lots of reviews :)_


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

Dean carried Lilly as quietly as possible into the motel room, and laid her on the bed. Caressing her cheek gently, he couldn't help but smile, despite the earlier events. He was glad she was safe.

She stirred slightly as he pulled off her shoes and jacket, and carefully set her gun and knife on the nightstand. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Are we back yet?" she asked groggily. Dean bent down next to her, brushing her hair back.

"Yeah, princess, we're back," he said quietly. Lilly's face shadowed over with understanding, and her voice became thick.

"I'm sorry, you were right, I couldn't do it…" she trailed off miserably, and Dean placed a gently finger to her lips.

"No, it was fine… We'll get him next time. We'll figure something out." Dean prayed he wasn't lying to her.

Lilly sat up slowly, and peeled off her jeans, leaving only her t-shirt and underwear. Dean groaned internally at the image, and fought the urge to push her back on the bed and kiss her.

"I'm tired," Lilly said with a yawn, stretching her back with an arch. Dean closed his eyes briefly.

_Baseball, guns, beer, hunting, anything, _he though desperately.

"You okay?" Lilly asked quietly, her voice slightly husky from being asleep. Dean forced a smile.

"I'm fine," he said as he tugged off his own jacket and shirt. A few moments later he crawled into bed next to her, turning the lamp off as he did so. Lilly instantly snuggled next to him, attaching herself to his chest. After a moment she sat up. Dean looked at her quizzically.

"It's too hot in here," she explained, turning her back and pulling off her shirt, and to Dean's rising surprise, her bra as well. As she curled back up next to him, Dean wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"Are you trying to kill me, woman?" He whispered softly, trying to suppress a shiver when he felt her bare chest against his. Lilly laughed quietly, but didn't respond.

Dean left one arm wound around her waist, and let the other run through her hair. In minutes, her breathing slowed and he felt her eyelashes flutter closed. He was left alone with his thoughts, and his mind wandered half-consciously.

Sam popped into his mind, and he felt a pang of guilt. Without realizing it, his arm tightened around Lilly. He should have told his brother himself, and not been a dick and let him find out. He'd known Sam had the hots for Lilly. He'd known Sam had warmed up to her first. He'd known Sam had been the one to want to save her in the first place.

But Dean loved her.

Dean knew Sam probably thought that Lilly was just another fling, something that would go away… But she wasn't. Dean knew this was different. Slowly, one piece at a time, he felt like Lilly was bringing him back from hell in the way Castiel couldn't; the angel had only pulled out his body. Lilly was giving him back his will to live.

Dean wished Sam knew that.

The next morning, Dean woke up and tried to nuzzle Lilly's neck, only to find she wasn't there. He sat up and glanced around the room; she wasn't anywhere in sight. Worry rising up again, Dean stood, pulling on a fresh t-shirt and jeans.

"Lilly?" he called. There was no answer. Dean stepped out the door into the early morning light, surprised to actually see the sun. There was no sign of Lilly.

He rushed over to the next room, knocking loudly on Sam and Bobby's door. A few minutes later, Sam opened it groggily.

"What do you want?" he mumbled, his arms resting on the door frame.

"Is Lilly with you?" Dean asked quickly. Sam shook his head at first, laying his head against his arm. Then he seemed to realize what Dean was asking him.

"She's not with you?" Sam asked sharply. Dean glared.

"No, Captain Obvious, she's not. Have you seen her at all?" Sam shook his head again. "Alright, well, the car's still here, so she can't have gone far." Dean didn't have to say his unspoken fear that she didn't leave by herself.

Sam quickly told Bobby where he was going, and headed out the door with Dean. There was a thickly wooded section near the motel; both figured that Lilly would go there if she were going to leave.

As they entered the woods, Dean thought he heard a strange sound, but made an effort to ignore it and focus on finding Lilly. When he heard a gunshot up ahead and to the left, he took off running it that direction, Sam close on his heels.

They both came to quick stop when they reached a small clearing, and Dean felt a distinct sense of déjà vu, recalling the last time they'd run through the woods and ended in a clearing.

Instinctively, Dean hit the ground when he heard the sound again, an odd _whoosh_ that made his skin tingle. He ducked just in time to see a knife flying past where he'd just been.

Looking up, Lilly was across the clearing, the gun Dean had given her in one hand. There was a makeshift target painted on a tree, with three bullseyes.

"What the hell are you doing?" Dean shouted. Lilly looked at him blankly.

"Target practice," she replied. Dean threw his arms in the air and waved them around, unable to get any real words out. Sam stood behind him, chuckling at the sight.

"You almost killed me with your knife!" Dean finally shouted. Lilly smiled.

"I knew where you were. I don't miss."

Dean glared. "Obviously you did, because I don't have a knife buried to the hilt in my forehead."

Lilly rolled her eyes. "Turn around," she said, motioning behind Dean. He did as she asked and turned, seeing a target painted on a tree directing behind him. The knife was dead center.

"See?" She said, patting his arm, "I don't miss." She said with a slightly condescending smile. Dean was dumbfounded. It was then that he realized another problem, and rounded on Lilly, who had pulled the knife from the tree and was walking back in the direction of the motel with Sam.

"Why the hell didn't you tell anyone where you were going?" Dean shouted. Lilly rolled her eyes again.

"Just come on," she said. Dean glared.

"No, tell me why the hell no one knew you were going to be gone. You could have been taken by demons or something! How the hell was I supposed to know you just got trigger-happy?" He demanded.

Lilly gently took a hold of his arm. "Humor me. Please. Now, come on." Grudgingly, Dean let himself be led back to the motel room.

When Lilly pushed open the door, Sam stayed on the edge, leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed against his chest. Lilly headed straight for the small table on the other side of the bed. She held up a note that said _Dean_ in capitals, and waved it in Dean's face.

"_Dean, went out to the woods nearby to test out the gun and knife. Don't worry, I'll be fine. Be back soon. Lilly."_

She looked at Dean pityingly. "See?"

Dean just glared. "Just- You- You can't just… Give me that." Dean sputtered as he snatched the note. He looked up from reading it and glared. "Fine." Lilly looked at him, as if to prompt him into saying something else. He looked up at her resentfully. "Sorry." He muttered.

Sam stifled a chuckle, then began to turn out of the doorway. "I'm heading back over there. Come on over whenever and we'll get breakfast."

Lilly raised her eyebrows at Dean. "I was fine," she repeated.

"Whatever," Dean grunted. "Let's go," he said, headed for the door. Lilly followed behind him.

Bobby swung the door open just as Dean began to open it, and both men started at seeing the other. Lilly chuckled under her breath, and Bobby scowled.

Twenty minutes later the four of them were seated around a large table at the diner down the road, eating breakfast and planning their next move.

Lilly speared a piece of waffle and sausage with her fork, and gestured with it to the others. "If I can find somebody who's actually had some kind of interaction with this guy, not just seen him like the thrift store owner, then there's a chance I could get him when he's not expecting it." She nodded almost to herself before popping the forkful of food in her mouth and chewing thoughtfully.

Dean groaned. "We can't just-"

Bobby interrupted. "We go off half- cocked, we're gonna get killed. Simple as that," he said matter-of-factly. Lilly grimaced, and then her eyes flashed menacingly.

"It's not half-cocked if I know what I'm doing," she snapped.

"Well, we see how well that worked the last time, didn't we?" Bobby retorted. Dean and Sam saw the rage that flew into Lilly's eyes, and they exchanged a glance. Lilly started to stand up, and Bobby's eyes flew wide open.

"Lilly, what the hell are you doing?" Dean growled, pulling her back down into her seat. The heat of the anger was still bright in her eyes, but it had cooled slightly.

"I know what I'm doing," she hissed at Bobby, her gaze never leaving his. His face was a bit paler than it had been a moment ago, and he glared at Dean.

"Fine," he said. He raised his eyebrows, and Dean thought that maybe the older hunter hoped things would go wrong. His distaste for Lilly was obvious; whether it was because of what she was or her hard-headed confidence, Dean didn't know.

"We'll head back up to Whitefish when we finish up here," Sam said quietly.

The ride to Whitefish was mercifully short. Lilly hopped out of the truck before it had even fully stopped, and Dean hurried after her.

"Lilly," he began, pulling her around to face him, "you gotta be careful…"

"I know damn well how to be careful," Lilly snapped at him, the anger from the diner burning brightly. Her tone softened when Dean's face fell. "I'm sorry… It's not your fault. I just want to kill Conquest and get the hell out of here," she said as she rubbed the goosebumps from her bare arms. The wind had picked up since they'd eaten, and it was overcast and chilly once again.

"Me, too," Dean said. A thought struck him, one he felt foolish for not voicing until now. "Would a dreamwalker die if we just shot it?"

Lilly halfway shrugged. "Not if they're using someone else, and you shot the person they were using. But if you shot them, their body, yeah. They're just humans."

Dean frowned. "I thought Bobby said they lived, like, forever," he said, struggling to get the words out.

"Oh. I'm not sure. I guess that's possible."

Dean made a mental note to look into it.

Lilly was already walking ahead, moving with a purpose and looking like a nightmare for anyone in her way. Dean and Sam quickly caught up with her, while Bobby hung back at the truck, saying he'd keep an eye out elsewhere.

The heels of Lilly's shoes clicked on the pavement, and she moved through the people on the street as if there was no one there. Even though there was only a handful of people out, Dean and Sam had trouble keeping up.

Dean occasionally caught Lilly giving certain people a sideways glance, her eyes narrowed. He wondered what she was seeing; what it was like to walk past a person and see their thoughts wide open like a book.

The hair on the back of Dean's neck stood up, and he resisted the urge to turn around. Lilly was still moving quickly ahead, and Sam didn't look at all concerned. The feeling persisted.

Suddenly, Lilly whirled around, and Dean and Sam almost collided with her. She glared behind them. Dean turned, the feeling on the back of his neck increasing, and saw a man standing at the other end of the street. He was not tall, but thickly built, wearing a gaudy white suit.

His eyes were completely white.

Lilly was casting glances to all the people around her, and they seemed to be moving in one general direction; Dean noticed all of them going into houses, stores, getting into cars. Finally, the street was empty, save the two hunters, Lilly, and the Horseman.

"Lookin' like that, darlin', I might have to keep you alive," he drawled. Lilly glared back.

Dean began to reach carefully for his gun, slowly. Then Conquest turned his white eyes on Dean.

"Can't have you doing that, son," he said, "this is all in the family, so to speak." The eyes returned to Lilly. "What do say, darlin'? Just you and me, no… Interventions."

"Fine," Lilly said, her own eyes set in a steely gaze. She cut her eyes to Dean.

He slowly lowered his gun, responding to the look on Lilly's face begging him to trust her. He didn't put the gun away.

Watching Conquest intently, Lilly took a deep breath. The Horseman grinned.

"Ready for this, darlin'?" The long drawl made Dean want to shoot him down, and he raised the gun again. "How many times do I have to tell you? Put the gun down, or she dies."

Dean's eyes flew to Lilly. Her own eyes were exploding with pain, her face twisted to keep from screaming. Dean lowered the gun, and she gasped.

"Dean," she said, panting, "I can do this,"

"No, you can't," Dean said softly. Lilly glared back, the _watch-me _challenge evident in the cocky glance at the Horseman.

The confidence left the Horseman's face and he crumpled to his knees, Lilly advancing on him. He clutched at his chest and stomach, clawing at the air. Lilly glared and didn't let up.

She was completely focused on what was in front of her, and Dean's eyes widened, because he knew she would never realize what was behind her in time.

"Lilly!" He shouted. With speed Dean didn't think was possible, Lilly whirled around and snatched the demon sneaking up on her by the throat, choking it. It hissed and tried pulling a knife out, but then its eyes clouded over.

To Dean's horror, Lilly let it go.

She didn't move, only watched, as the demon flew to the Horseman. Dean wanted to scream that that was a stupid move; they were all going to be killed…

The demon plunged its knife into Conquest's throat.

Lilly jumped in, pulling Mary Winchester's knife from the waistband of her jeans, and hacked off one of the Horseman's fingers. Quickly she pulled the ring that was sitting there off and placed it in her pocket.

_As always, reviews would be appreciated._


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Dean watched in horror as the demon who'd stabbed Conquest slumped over dead, the life completely gone from both the demon and the host.

"Looks like you're a little better than I thought," the Horseman coughed through the blood pouring from his throat. "Still don't think you can kill me, though,"

Lilly stepped closer, crouching down, and seizing Conquest's bloody neck. Rivulets of blood flowed over her fingers and hands, dripping onto the concrete sidewalk, leaving a small pool. Lilly didn't seem to notice.

"Watch me," she said quietly, her voice heavy with menace. Her hand tightened, and the Horseman's eyes began to swim. His mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out; his eyes turned to a murky grey, the darker color quickly ruining the bright white that his eyes had been.

A vein pulsed in Lilly's neck, and her eyes flashed with pain from an effort that Dean could see easily. It was unnerving to watch.

Conquest let out a screaming howl, raking his fingers across his face in agony. Lilly didn't falter, and in minutes, the Horseman slumped, as dead as the demon lying next to him.

Slowly Lilly stood, dusting off her hands and wiping the blood off on the sidewalk. She turned to Sam and Dean, and for the briefest moment, Dean could have sworn her eyes were the same murky grey as the dead Horseman's.

Then her eyes were a familiar bright green, and though she was still grimacing, Dean saw her as he always did- dangerous, but the person he didn't want to live without.

He rushed to meet her and put his arms around her, sighing deeply and telling himself, for the umpteenth time, that this wasn't going to happen again.

Back in their motel room, Dean laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, while Lilly was sprawled on her stomach, reading a book.

Dean couldn't wrap his head around everything that had happened over the last few days. The events on the Whitefish sidewalk had only confused him further.

He loved Lilly- he knew that, without a doubt. But in all honestly, her abilities; the fact that she was a dreamwalker, just the like the Horseman she'd killed… It terrified him.

Dean didn't want to think that Lilly was evil, and even Castiel had said she wasn't. Deep down, Dean himself knew that she wasn't. But the way her eyes had looked on the street, the unwavering cruelty she'd exhibited…

It had Dean worried.

Maybe she would do what Sam did, think she was doing this for good, then get power-hungry and turn the other way.

But Sam had come back…

After unleashing the Apocalypse and freeing Lucifer from hell.

Dean mentally argued with himself, pulling first one way and then the other. Finally he reasoned with himself that Lilly hadn't chosen to be like this, and what she did, the rage she clearly held, was no different than Dean's own anger at the supernatural, because it was responsible for his awful life and lack of normalcy.

Lilly's life had been turned upside down, more than once, by something evil.

Dean guessed she had a right to some rage.

With that at the front of his mind, he kissed Lilly's forehead lightly and told her he was going to sleep. She kissed him back, and turned out the lamp on the nightstand.

"Do you have any idea where we're going?" Lilly asked irritably from the back seat. They had said goodbye to Bobby about an hour ago, and were back on the road, searching for a job.

Dean grinned at her in the mirror. "Nope," he said. Lilly narrowed her eyes, but didn't say anything else. "So Sammy," Dean began, "find any fun things yet?"

Sam shook his head, staring at his laptop intently. "Nothing yet," he said. "It's pretty quiet."

Dean nodded slowly, air drumming along with John Bonham against the steering wheel. He glanced at Sam. "You know what this means." Sam gave him a longsuffering glare in return.

"What does it mean?" Lilly asked, her voice rising. "What's going on?"

Dean grinned. "It means we can do what we want," he said, "and what I want to find a bar, play some pool, and-"

"Sorry, Dean." Castiel's voice startled them all, and Lilly started when he appeared sitting next to her. "You have work to do."

"Dammit, Cas, how many times do I have to tell you to quit doing that?" Dean demanded, putting a hand to his chest to indicate how alarmed he was. He glared at the angel in the rearview mirror. "What now?"

"There is a problem in Minnesota," Castiel began, "Excessive demon activity. We need you to find out why."

"There goes Vegas," Dean muttered under his breath, cursing.

"Sorry, Dean," the angel said earnestly. "This matter is much more important."

Dean snorted.

"You need to turn around at the next exit and head east," Castiel added in an effort to be helpful.

"Thank you," Dean said sarcastically as he grinned with false humor. Lilly made an effort to cover her laugh. Dean made a quick and likely illegal u-turn at the next turn off, the tires squealing on the wet road. With a rustle, Castiel was gone.

"So, Minnesota, huh?" Dean asked Sam. "Look it up; see if you can find what's going on up there."

Sam nodded and typed quickly. A minute later a grim look appeared on his face, and he glanced up at Dean, and then let his eyes rest on Lilly for a split second.

Lilly saw a barely hidden pain resting behind his brown eyes.

"In Blue Earth, Minnesota, there have been fires, cell phone towers out, lightning storms, and what's described by nearby towns as 'fanatical behavior' for several months now." Sam gave Dean his version of the Winchester look- Sam's was grimacing, but with an underlying realization of the task at hand and the recognition that completing it would bring him some measure of satisfaction and feeling of validation.

Dean's version of the Winchester look was a confident, self-satisfied smirk that was both intense and playful, and completed the tactic that, combined with a captivating stare, had probably helped take off more clothes than any other method known to man.

Lilly was more than familiar with both.

"So we head out to Minnesota, toss some holy water, do some exorcisms, then we hit a bar." Dean concluded. Sam started to open his mouth to argue, but then seemed to realize it was useless and just closed his mouth once again.

Rage.

All she could feel was rage.

It welled up like a volcano that had been triggered by some unknown force, and even in her sleep, it threatened to spill over.

Lilly's power struggled to wake her, and to force her to give herself over to the undying anger that it brought with it.

Faces and memories flooded her mind- the man in the alley years ago, who stole both innocence and any desire to combine intimacy and commitment. Lilly hated that man for what he had indirectly pushed her into doing, even though she knew every choice she'd made had been her own.

Sebastian Slade- her silent obsession with killing him, torturing him as he had done to her, was something she had never spoken aloud, but at times like this, when her dreams took over and she was powerless to stop them, Lilly couldn't help but imagine what would happen if she ever found him.

What Slade had done to her was so much worse than the first man; the first one had created horrible memories, but that was all they were- memories. They wouldn't affect the rest of Lilly's life in the same way that her weeks of being tortured by Sebastian Slade would.

Lilly's worst recurring nightmare, other than those of Dean's, concerned Slade, and a little girl that Lilly recognized to be her own daughter. In her dream, her daughter had to die over and over at the hands of Sebastian Slade.

In a way, that was what had happened; Lilly would never have that daughter, or any daughter, or son, because some demon was evil and had taken her whole life away from her. Her naïve beliefs that life could be easy or fair had been left on that cold table.

Vaguely she remembered hearing Olivia tell her she was sorry, but Lilly was so beaten up and damaged- Lilly hated that word- that not only would she need surgery, but also she'd never have children. Though Lilly had brushed it off, she had been crushed.

Sitting up quickly, Lilly shook the nightmares and memories away, trying to clear her mind of the incoherent dream- dialect that she knew far too well.

They had stopped just outside of Blue Earth and checked into a motel a few hours ago. All of them had been tired, and had agreed to check out the demon situation in the morning.

Lilly reached for Dean, snuggling her head into the crook of his neck. In his sleep, his arms wrapped around her and pulled her close against him. She felt his heart beating slow and steady next to her ear, and she slowed her own breathing to match his. Gradually the sound pulled her back to sleep, and Dean's arms around her kept her from waking again during the night.

_Sorry it's so short, but this was as good a stopping point as any and it was either stop or go on with a crazy long chapter, and not update for a while. So here you go; hope you enjoy. Reviews, please? It might encourage some quicker updating._


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty One

Dean woke up fairly early, especially for him, but he assumed it was due to the fact that they'd all turned in so early the night before.

To his relief, when they'd reached the motel outside Blue Earth, Sam had quickly gotten a room to himself, leaving Dean and Lilly alone. Dean was becoming increasingly aware that his brother knew about him and Lilly, and was prone to avoiding an awkward situation whenever possible.

In the middle of the night, Dean had felt Lilly wake up and snuggle closer to him. He hoped she wasn't having nightmares again, and was glad that at least she hadn't woken up screaming in a long time.

Sitting up in the motel bed and stretching, Dean glanced down at Lilly. She looked so peaceful, and so much like what he'd always imagined he would want, that he couldn't fathom why he had ever questioned her motives or been afraid of her. Darkly, he thought that how looks could be so deceiving, and he ran a hand over his face in an effort to clear his mind. He wished he could stop doubting everything.

They still hadn't heard from Michael or Lucifer in months, and while it was a welcome change, it was getting a little worrisome.

Dean pushed the thoughts from his mind and disentangled himself from Lilly and the sheets. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling on jeans and a t-shirt and heading next door to talk to Sam.

He only had to knock once before he heard the lock click open and Sam opened the door, looking refreshed with coffee in hand.

"Found some more omens and stuff out by Blue Earth," Sam said, opening the door wider so Dean could some in. "People in surrounding towns have complained of sulfur in the water, and several sightings of black smoke in the direction of Blue Earth."

Dean nodded. "We'll head that way when Lilly wakes up."

As if on queue, Lilly stuck her head in the door, and then entered the room when she saw the two of them sitting around the small table. Dean noticed his mother's knife strapped to her upper arm, and the gun was resting against the small of her back, tucked into the waistband of her jeans. He knew the light jacket that was in her hand would easily cover it and the knife.

"Are we leaving now?" Lilly asked curtly. Sam nodded, and headed for the door, snapping his laptop shut as he did so. Dean leaned in to Lilly slowly.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked gently. Lilly fixed him with her textbook stare, her eyes pressing into him. She watched him for a moment with haunted eyes before answering.

"Fine." She said, turning towards the door. Worry began swell up in Dean's chest, but he left it alone.

He knew she wasn't fine.

Without another word, Lilly was already parked in the backseat of the Impala, checking that her gun was loaded. Sam, in the passenger seat, glanced at Dean.

Dean shrugged.

The drive into Blue Earth was silent aside from the radio steadily playing Creedence Clearwater Revival, and Dean was glad the drive was short. He saw the sign announcing the border of Blue Earth maybe ten minutes after leaving the motel.

Several minutes later, still in a very rural area of town occupied by only a few houses and barns, Dean heard not only sirens, but also screams, up ahead. He glanced briefly at Sam before accelerating.

Lilly's gun clicked from the back seat.

Dean's jaw dropped open as he sped around the road's turn to the left, and he only took half a second to react. In moments, the road was covered in demons.

Some were possessing humans, and others were simply hovering without a host, empty smoke that was barely translucent. Either way, there seemed like hundreds.

Dean moved into action, grabbing the gun from his waistband, another gun and round of ammo from the glove compartment, and holy water from under the seat. Sam snatched up more holy water, spray paint, and a small exorcism book that were all within reach.

Lilly just flipped the safety off the gun, checked her knife, and took a deep breath.

The three dove out of the car just as the swarm of demons reached it. Sam began reading exorcisms, and Dean began shooting. Together they quickly took down a dozen.

Dean lost sight of Lilly, and fear hit him like a bucket of icy water. He searched the ever-increasing crowd, causing his own fighting to get sloppy. A demon was inches from throwing him across the road when Sam shot it.

He finally caught a glimpse of Lilly twenty yards ahead. Angrily he noticed her gun was in her hand, hanging by her side, but then he saw the trail of bodies behind her. He saw her lock eyes with the demon in front of her, and instead of killing the host and causing the demon to flee in a rush of black smoke, Lilly touched its shoulder, and the demon fell to its knees, coughing a little trail of smoke and then a brilliant orange light welled up from deep inside. The light was quickly extinguished.

To Dean watching, it had seemed like watching the demon die, actually _die, _and then seeing the host stand up, look around in horror, and then run off had seemed to take an eternity. But in reality, it was only a few seconds before Lilly had touched another demon.

It appeared that all she had to was touch them once, maybe with some kind of focused malicious intent, and then she could direct her attention elsewhere and leave her mind to do its job.

The process was deadly, instantaneous, and terrifyingly efficient.

Dean understood what Castiel meant about Lilly being a dangerous weapon, should Sebastian Slade ever get to her and twist her mind into something evil.

With a quick dousing of holy water, Dean at least frightened off the demon about to kill him. Sam seemed to be holding his own, and Lilly, of course, was farther up ahead, acting like a human killing machine.

Dean shook his head. _Of all the things that I thought would happen…_ He reminisced quickly before taking out two more demons.

The sound of approaching sirens caught his attention.

Over a loudspeaker, someone read an exorcism in what sounded like Latin.

The demons all screamed, and left their host and fled.

Dean straightened up, and caught Lilly's eye from fifty yards away. She quickly and smoothly replaced her gun, making a point to cover it with her jacket. She looked more wary and alert than when she had been slaughtering demons.

A fire truck, a huge four-door pickup, and a big ATV sat at the edge of what had to be the town of Blue Earth itself. Dean could see houses and buildings much closer together just ahead.

"You folks alright?" A man called from the top of the fire truck. He held a small book, and yelled through a bullhorn.

Dean lifted a hand and nodded that they were.

Lilly picked her way through the bodies, coming to a stop to Dean's left. She was turned at an angle away from the men in the vehicles. She locked eyes with Dean, her gaze merciless.

"Watch them," she growled under her breath. Dean started to shake his head and ask why, but the Mr. Bullhorn interrupted him.

"I'm Paul Gideon," he called out, "Come on back to town with us and we'll get you cleaned up," he said.

Dean glanced at Sam, and reluctantly nodded. "Thanks," he called back. Lilly's glare intensified. It was clear she was about to say something, but Dean shushed her as they and Sam climbed back into the Impala.

Sam looked as mystified as Dean felt.

Lilly sat in the back with her arms crossed, looking incredibly irritated. She caught the eye of both brothers in the rearview mirror and snapped at them.

"Watch your backs with these people. There's something wrong here."

Dean glanced at Sam again. "Alright, we'll keep an eye out,"

Lilly just grunted and stared out the window.

Navigating around the bodies, Dean nosed the Impala after the line of vehicles up ahead into town. He was surprised when they passed a gate, with armed men in jeans and work shirts guarding it.

The truck in front stopped to talk to the men, and Dean did the same.

"Hey, man, what's going on?" Dean asked casually as he pulled to a stop next to a man wearing a red flannel shirt and a baseball cap. The man looked at him seriously.

"With all these demon attacks, we need to keep the town safe," he said seriously, blowing Dean away, "the only way we can do that is if none of them get through this gate." He motioned with the gun.

Dean waved his hand at the man as he drove off.

He met Sam's worried eyes with a frown. "What the hell is going on?" He hissed at his brother.

"See?" Lilly growled indignantly from the backseat.

Dean shot her a look. "Alright, just go along with it till we find out what the hell is going on here," he said.

They parked the car outside a church where the others had stopped. All three got out; Dean and Sam wearing poker faces, Lilly looking as dark as the thunderclouds above them.

"So what's going on here, Paul?" Dean asked as he approached the man who still held the bullhorn in his hand.

The man ran a hand over his forehead. "Well… I think maybe you all should talk to someone else. Follow me."

Dean glanced back at Sam and Lilly to make sure they were following. Sam looked intrigued, if not a little worried, and Lilly looked like she was ready to tear Paul Gideon's head from his shoulders if need be.

Dean had no idea why, but Lilly looked like she was ready for a fight to the death at any moment.

Paul led them into the church building, through a well-lit side corridor, and down a flight of stairs. At the end he opened a door, and in the church basement were several dozens people, all hard at work at some task. Dean noticed some where blessing water, others were reciting exorcisms to still more people, and some were doing menial tasks like sewing holes in clothing and filling canteens.

Across the room, a girl with curly brown hair and dark brown eyes was speaking softly to several older women. Dean instantly thought that she was attractive, and looked pretty harmless. He planned to make her one of the first people they questioned.

Until he turned to Lilly.

Lilly had frozen upon seeing the other woman, her gaze locked onto her dangerously. Her hand was reaching for the back of her jeans, towards her gun, but Dean reached a hand out and stopped her.

For an instant, looking into Lilly's eyes was terrifying, and then it was as if she snapped out of a trance. Her hand dropped back to her side.

"What did you folks say your names were, again?" Paul was asking. Dean made himself look at the man.

"We, uh, I'm Detective Stark, this is Detective Bailey, and this is Detective, ah, Winchester," Dean cursed under his breath at not being able to come up with something other than his own damn name for Lilly. He and Sam had used Stark and Bailey before, but given the circumstances, he had been completely at a loss for a fake name for Lilly.

And now, not only could Paul Gideon later tie them to the name Winchester, but Lilly was looking at him like he'd sprouted wings and began to flap about. He supposed he couldn't blame her; she didn't know what he was getting at, if anything.

He hoped she knew it wasn't anything.

"Federal marshals," Sam was saying, pulling out a badge to show Paul. Lilly's arms were folded across her chest and she made no effort to move them, or pull out the badge that Dean knew she didn't have.

Dean didn't show the man his, either, but simply nodded. "We're investigating the… Strange circumstances around here lately," he said.

Paul nodded. "Well, here's the person you need to talk to." The curly haired woman had walked up to them, and was standing with her hands primly clasped in front of her. Her smile was a little too bright.

"Detectives, this is my daughter, Leah Gideon. If you'll excuse me, I have some other things to attend to, so I'll leave her to explain." Paul nodded to them and tipped the brim of his hat before moving off into the small crowd gathered in the basement.

"Nice to meet you," Leah said courteously, smiling at all of them. Sam and Dean smiled back as much as they could. Lilly fixed Leah with any icy stare that could freeze anyone in its path.

Leah held the taller woman's gaze for a moment, her own eyes cold. Then she turned towards the people around them.

"We're preparing for a war," Leah said almost reverently. Dean raised an eyebrow.

"A war?" He asked cautiously. Leah turned back to him, beaming, her hands still clasped over her khaki pants.

"Yes. A war is upon us. We must rise up and fight against the evil coming to destroy us."

Dean and Sam exchanged a glance.

"And you know this how?" Dean asked skeptically.

Leah's eyes brightly roved over his face, finally meeting his gaze. He saw in her eyes a passion, a fire, and it made him worried.

"The angels told me," she said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Liar," Lilly whispered from behind Dean, barely audible. He was relieved that Leah seemed not to hear it, or if she did, she ignored it.

"My father has been the pastor of this church as long as I can remember," Leah said, glancing lovingly around the busy room, "and now, I was chosen to help lead us in this battle." The fervor with which she spoke made Dean choose his words carefully.

"You were… Chosen?"

"Yes." Leah said it almost gleefully. "The angels come and tell me what it is they wish of the people, and so through me we serve God."

"Liar," Lilly said, a little louder. The ice in her eyes had only hardened.

Leah shot her a sharp glance, but said nothing.

"I thought everyone could serve God on their own," Sam said, his voice carrying his feelings on the subject. Dean knew that talk of God and religion was a touchy issue for Sam.

"But don't you see? The angels have chosen me to be their leader, their guide. They choose to tell me where the demons will attack, and when they will be next, so that we can be prepared." Leah spoke as if explaining simple concepts to a petulant child.

Suddenly it dawned on Dean.

"So you're a prophet."

Leah nodded, seemingly pleased that he finally understood. "Yes. The angels tell me what we need to know, to help us. We will be in paradise as a result of our dutiful service."

A smooth smile crept across Lilly's face.

"What are the angels saying now, Leah?" Sam asked.

"They say we must purge the town of wickedness. We must not fall into sin, or we will be vulnerable to the demons. We have to stick together. We have to continue to fight off the demons that try to come into our town, and defeat them using the exorcism the angels gave us." Leah sighed, and stared off longingly into the distance. "I've given these people hope, because the angels chose to tell me that if we follow their orders, we will be in paradise."

Lilly stepped forward menacingly. "Liar," she hissed at Leah.

The threat was clear.

Dean was about to step in and push Lilly back. Leah spoke instead.

"And what do you know, dreamwalker, about serving God? What do you know about servitude, about helping other and sacrificing for the greater good, hmm? Do you know anything about that?"

Lilly's eyes grew darker and more dangerous with every word that came out of Leah's mouth. Before Lilly could reach up and snatch the younger girl's throat, Dean caught her hand. She spun on him, and for a second he thought maybe she would kill him instead, but then the moment passed. The control and sanity returned to her eyes, but the icy anger stayed as well.

"I think we're done," Dean said to Leah without taking his eyes off Lilly.

"Of course," Leah said in a buttery smooth voice. As Dean walked past, his hand still gripping Lilly's wrist, Leah hissed into his ear, "Control your pet, or next time I will."

Dean only answered her with a cold stare.

When they reached the parking lot again, Lilly was shaking. "What did I tell you?" She asked quietly.

Dean put an arm around her shoulders. "We'll figure this out… In the mean time, can you not do that? Threaten people who may be useful?"

Lilly's head whipped around to face him, and her eyes begged for understanding. "Dean, she was lying. She's evil." She said simply, her eyes boring into Dean's soul. He wanted to believe her so badly; he really did…

"Lilly, you know how much I hate dealing this prophecy crap. But maybe she knows something, and can help us out. Just trust me on this one, okay?"

Dean could see in her eyes how much she didn't want to, but finally she nodded.

"Hey, guys?" Sam called out. Dean glanced over at him standing by the Impala. A slip of paper was in his hands.

_Great, _Dean thought, _a ticket's just what I need._

"What is it?" Lilly asked.

Sam's face was pale as he handed it to her. "I think it's for you," he said quietly.

Upon closer inspection, Dean saw that the paper wasn't a ticket, and at first, he was relieved. Then he began to read the neat, loopy writing on the yellow lined paper, and his blood ran cold.

By the look on Lilly's face, she felt the same way.

_Lilliana, it is so good to see you are well. I truly am sorry about the hellhound in Alabama. It was not intentional. I also see you're still with the Winchester boys; that is very good. When I decide to finally take you, they will be a nice… Treat, so to say. And remember, Lilly, I will find you. See how close I am now? It's just a matter of the opportune moment. That moment will come soon. Until then, dear Lilly, stay safe, will you? It wouldn't do for you to be damaged goods. Well, more damaged._

_ Sweet dreams, dear._

_ - S.S._

_Reviews, anyone?_


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty Two

Lilly shook with fear from reading the note.

"We have to leave. He's here." The panic in her voice rose with every syllable, and Dean wanted to comfort her, reassure her, but he just wasn't sure how.

"Sam, get in the car."

Sam did as he was told, recognizing the edge in his brother's voice.

Dean squeezed Lilly's arm gently, and climbed in the driver's side. Relieved, she took a seat in the back, still breathing heavily.

Sam reached an arm over the seat, and took her hand briefly.

Dean caught the small gesture, but chose to ignore it.

The Impala's engine roared to life, and Dean expertly steered it around people and vehicles that seemed to be everywhere. He rolled to a stop when the men with guns at the front gate stepped in his path.

"There a problem?" Dean asked impatiently.

"Buddy, you can't go out there. They'll kill you."

"I think we'll manage, thanks." Dean said with a humorless smirk, and began to move forward again. The man stepped closer to the car, placing a hand on the door. "What the hell, man?" Dean exclaimed.

"I don't think you understand-" The man began, but Dean cut him off.

"No, _buddy, _I don't think you understand. We need to leave, ASAP. And we're going to, so get the hell out of my way."

"Sorry, pastor's orders. No one leaves."

Dean met the other man's eyes with a cocky gaze. "And if I do?"

The complacent, friendly manner left the man. He gestured with his gun. "We shoot."

"Who the hell told you to do that?"

The man shrugged. "Pastor Gideon. Said Leah told him that's what the angels want."

Dean met Lilly's eyes in the rearview mirror. Her expression was a mix of anger, indignation, and stark fear.

"Alright, so we're stuck here. We can protect ourselves." Dean said, mostly to himself.

They had turned the Impala around and parked right where they'd been, and were now sitting on a bench outside the church.

Sam was staring at the ground, Dean was talking to himself, and Lilly was fidgeting and glancing around and jumping at shadows like the devil himself was after her.

Icily, Dean realized that her worst nightmare was coming to life.

He vowed not to let her out of his sight, or let anything get close enough to even touch her.

"Everything alright?" It was Pastor Gideon.

Dean glared at the man. "I guess your boys aren't letting anyone leave," he said hotly.

Paul shook his head. "Leah's orders. From the angels," he added. Lilly rose to her feet, advancing on him threateningly.

"What makes you so sure these orders are coming from angels? How are you even sure that's really your daughter in there? What if-"

Dean cut her by grabbing her hand. She whirled around on him, apparently set on turning her attack on him, but his look silenced her.

"Look, Pastor, can't you just let us go? We really need to be somewhere."

The pastor shrugged helplessly. "Sorry. Leah was pretty explicit about not letting anyone leave."

"We're not even one of you all. We're not from here."

"Doesn't matter. You came in. It's our duty to protect you." The conviction in Paul's voice let Dean know he was getting nowhere. "Look, there's a motel down the road you can stay in. No charge."

"Thanks," Dean said gruffly. As Paul walked away, he turned back to Lilly. "Sorry, babe. We're stuck."

"I can see that." She said, her voice icy. "Can't I just kill her and be done with it?" The plea to get out was evident, but it irritated Dean nonetheless.

"Look, Slade's not getting you. There's no telling he's even here right now. You're safe with us."

Sam nodded his conformation.

"Lilly, you can't just go around killing prophets."

She stuck her chin out defiantly in answer.

"Even if there was a reason, an archangel would kill you before you got to do it. I'm not letting some crazy super-angel kill you." Dean's voice softened a little.

Lilly shook her head anyway, and tapped her temple. "I see inside her head, remember? Not far, but enough to know that she's not a prophet."

"Come on, Lilly, what else could she be?"

Lilly had no answer, but the indignation in her eyes was still evident.

Sam stood up, inclining his head in the direction Paul Gideon had said the motel was. "Let's just take the car over and try and demon-proof the motel room," he said gently to Lilly. Dean shot him a glare.

Reluctantly, Lilly moved to follow Sam.

"Dean, how about you just take the car and we'll walk."

"No!"

"Dean-" There was an edge to Sam's voice, and Dean knew it was a losing battle.

"Fine. But you better be there when I am. Or I'm coming to look for you." Dean shook a finger at Sam before glaring again and storming to the Impala. Despite his obvious anger, he shut the door carefully.

Lilly and Sam walked in silence down the sidewalk for a moment, until Sam stopped suddenly, a pensive look and a wistful smile on his face. Lilly could tell there was no happiness behind the smile.

"What are you doing with him?"

His question caught her off guard; she responded carefully. "What do you mean?"

Sam looked at her pityingly. "Come on, Lilly, I'm not stupid."

Lilly stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say. Finally, she just blundered on ahead. "I love him. You know that."

Sam shook his head, more to himself than to her, and looked at the ground. "You don't get it, do you?" He said, almost sympathetically, as he looked back up.

"Get what?" Lilly asked, even though she was afraid she already knew the answer.

Moving a step closer, Sam looked as if he truly hated saying what he knew he had to. "Dean doesn't… Dean doesn't know how to care about people. He thinks he does, and he wants to, but that part of him died a long time ago."

Stubbornly Lilly glared up at Sam. "He cares about me," she said in a small voice.

"Lilly, I know you think that and he thinks that and for your sake I wish he did, but that's just not part of him. It's not who he is."

"So you're telling me to stop doing this now, before it breaks my heart."

Sadly, Sam nodded.

"Well, you're wrong." Lilly crossed her arms over her chest.

"He's my brother. I know him better than anybody else, and trust me, I know when he thinks he wants something, and he eventually leaves. He's scared that everyone around him dies, and he's scared that he's not good enough. I've seen him do it a hundred times; he won't go near anyone he really cares about."

The color left Lilly's face, and was replaced with anger.

"Damn it, I didn't mean it like that. He cares about you, but- God, Lilly, I don't know how to explain it to you. I just don't want to see you get hurt," he said in a tender voice. "And in all honesty, you deserve someone better."

"How?" The bluntness of her question surprised Sam.

"You deserve someone who can actually admit that they have feelings," Sam said, "Someone who understands something other than hunting. Someone who hasn't been to hell," he added, more quietly. "You don't want to be stuck killing monsters forever, do you?"

Lilly didn't answer out loud, but the deadly resolve in her eyes was answer enough.

"You can see what I feel, can't you? With your abilities?"

"Yeah," Lilly said eventually.

"Well then you know I'm telling the truth when I say I want something more than this. I don't want to do this forever. And Lilly, you had a life before this, a great one. You can't just throw that away."

Lilly's voice was hot with anger. "How can you tell me to abandon your own brother? If he's as damaged as you say he is, doesn't he need someone to help him?"

Sam hung his head. "Yeah, but it doesn't have to be you-"

"Yeah, well, it is," Lilly snapped.

The look Sam gave her made her want to take back the hateful tone.

"Lilly, I know you know how I feel… About you… And I just want you to know that when you decide you want out, or when Dean leaves like he always does, I'll still be here."

"You know, you're not betraying Jessica by saying that."

Sam's jaw dropped open. "How the hell did you-"

Lilly just tapped her temple as she'd done earlier.

"Thanks," Sam said quietly. "I mean all of that, though," he added. Before he could think about it too much, he dipped his head and gave Lilly a fleeting kiss.

Though it only lasted a few seconds, both in its feeling and through the connection it gave her to Sam's mind, Lilly felt heartsick knowing how hurt Sam was- over Jessica, over the Apocalypse, and everything else that he blamed on himself. She knew that he had meant everything he said, and if things were different, maybe his saying it would mean more to her.

But she had Dean, and Dean meant everything. Even after knowing him such in short time in the grand scheme of things, she felt as if she'd known him- loved him- all her life.

That was all that mattered.

Dean wandered impatiently around the small motel room. He wasn't really worried about Sam and Lilly, but he wished they'd hurry up. He wanted to find out what was wrong here, kill it, and get the hell out.

His phone ringing brought him back to reality. "Hello?" he answered impatiently.

_"Dean?"_ _Dammit._

"What do you want, Chuck?"

_"Um, well, I need you to do something."_

"And what would that be?" Dean hoped his sarcasm could be heard that many states away.

_"Um, I had a, a vision, and uh, it has to do with that letter… About Lilly, and-"_

"Yeah, yeah, get on with it."

_"You, um, you need to tattoo Lilly's name somewhere."_

Dean noticed that the crickets outside the window where rather loud as he stared absently at the carpet. He didn't know so much frustration, bordering on rage, could be directed at one small, whining person.

_"Dean? You still there?"_

"Yeah, I'm here," Dean said with calm that surprised him. "And let me guess; now you're going to tell me you can't tell me why."

_"Sorry."_

"Well, sorry, but I can't. Even if I had any intention of doing anything you tell me to, I'm stuck in Mayberry. No ink shop within fifty miles."

_"Figure something out. It'll save Lilly's life."_ Dean had never heard Chuck sound so sure of himself.

"You're sure about this?"

_"Wish I wasn't."_

Dean sighed. "Does it have to be tattooed?"

_"I guess not… Look, you just need her initials, her name, something proving her existence, on you, that won't come off."_

Dean paused. _Proving her existence…_ He didn't even want to begin to think about what that could mean.

"And you're positive? This will save her life"

_"How many times do I have to tell you? Yes."_

"Fine." Without bothering to wait for a response, Dean hung up the phone.

After making sure the door was locked, he grabbed a few things and headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Taking a deep breath, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Memories of hell only overcame him for a minute before he broke eye contact and pulled his shirt off. He picked up the short, sharp knife slowly, trying to focus his mind.

He felt like a stupid kid obsessing over a crush. He felt like a depressed maniac carving himself up like a Halloween jack-o-lantern.

But Dean knew he wasn't any of those things. He knew how many things were after Lilly, and what they would do to her.

He was a desperate man trying to save the life of someone he loved, even if it was through indirect methods.

With a tightened resolve, he lifted the knife to the skin on the left side of his chest, under his tattoo. Gritting his teeth against the pain, he deeply carved an _L_ under the wavy lines around the five-pointed star.

Once that was done, he though for a good long time before carving the second letter. He thought about how little time he had really spent with Lilly, and how little of that had been spent in complete honesty.

None of it mattered.

He loved her, and he knew he couldn't change that even if he wanted to.

Slowly and deliberately, he carved a _W, _ignoring the blood running down his chest and over his hand.

Lilly Winchester.

Dean liked the sound of that.

_Please review!_


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty Three

Lilly and Sam walked knocked on the door a few moments later, the awkward cloud still hanging over them. If Dean noticed, he didn't say so.

Lilly became alarmed when he saw Dean wiping his hands off on a bloody towel, an innocent look plastered on his face.

"What happened?" She asked. Sam noticed the blood as well, and his eyes widened.

"Oh, uh, just cut myself cleaning knives and stuff," Dean answered quickly, moving back into the room to allow them to come in. "Where were you two? I've waiting forever."

Sam indulged the obvious subject change, and answered. "Just got caught up looking around," he lied quickly. Lilly glanced at him, but nodded anyway.

"What the hell were you doing that for? Get your head in the game, Sammy." Dean griped.

"Yeah, sorry," Sam's eyes flicked to Lilly as he went along with Dean. "So, uh, where's my room?"

"What?" Dean asked, irritated. His mind appeared to be elsewhere as he thumbed through John Winchester's journal.

Sam stepped closer. "I thought, you know, we might split up? Like we did last time?" He said, inclining his head to Lilly, who stood with her arms crossed.

Dean looked up. "What? No. We need to stick together. Kill this thing."

Sam raised his hands up defensively. "Alright. Your call." He gave Lilly a meaningful look as he walked past her.

"Dean." Lilly said softly, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

He looked at her with wide eyes. "I'm fine," he said. He quickly moved on. "We need to find out what we can from this prophet, kill the sons of bitches, and get the hell out of here."

Lilly was staring the beige carpet intently, as if her glaring at it long and hard enough would intimidate it into giving her the answers to whatever questions she had. Dean figured he had little choice but to wait it out.

Finally she looked up, her sharp green eyes boring into him, like they almost always did. "She's not a prophet," Lilly announced.

Dean threw up his hands in frustration. He found he'd been doing that much more since meeting Lilly… She seemed to complicate his life in every way possible, and yet, she was one of the few things that he felt was essential to him.

"What the hell is she, then, if she's not a prophet? A rogue demon, faking orders from angels?"

Lilly shrugged. "Maybe," she said cryptically. "Just don't turn your back to her."

"Trust me, I don't plan on it," Dean said gruffly. "I hate prophets," he muttered under his breath as he touched his fingertips to the left side of his chest, only for a second.

Lilly touched his arm sympathetically.

"Let's go talk to someone; we'll what we can find out."

Dean nodded, and let Lilly pull him gently out the door. Sam followed behind them.

The air outside the small hotel was chillier than it had been a few moments ago, and more clouds have moved in. Dean was sick of rain and overcast weather.

After wandering around for a few minutes, watching Lilly watch everyone else and occasionally focus on one person, Dean finally saw one of the men who had been outside the gate when the demons had attacked.

"Hey, can we talk to you?" Dean called out. The man nodded and made his way closer.

"Federal marshals," Dean said in a deep voice that reminded Lilly that no matter how laid back he could be, he was still dangerous.

She wondered how often he had the same thought about her.

"Detective Stark, Detective Bailey, and Detective Winchester," Dean was saying, motioning to Lilly. "We're investigating… Well, after seeing that earlier, I'm not really sure what we're investigating." He said, playing ignorant, hoping to get more information.

The young man shook his head. He couldn't be much younger than any of them; he looked to be in his early twenties.

"Up until a few months ago, I would've said we were crazy for doin' this kinda thing," he admitted quietly. "Now, I guess, we're saving lives, so there's not really much else we can do…"

"Do you know Leah Gideon?" Lilly asked curtly. Dean shot her a warning glance.

"Sure." The man shrugged. "Everyone does. Small town," he added by way of explanation. Dean and Sam nodded.

"When did her… Visions start?"

"Few months ago, give or take."

Lilly nodded. "And you all believe, unquestioningly, that she's telling the truth? That she's what she says she is?"

The man looked taken aback. "Well… Yeah. She's the pastor's daughter. Everyone's known her since she was this big," he said, motioning to a spot just above his knee. "I mean, sure, it's a little strange, but we've been chosen." That strange passion they'd seen in Leah filled his eyes as well. "Chosen for paradise…" He shook his head at the wonder of it. "We just have to do what the angels tell us."

Lilly smiled, her features curving into an expression that was much like how a wolf would look when it unexpectedly stumbled upon dinner.

"And what's your name? For the records." She asked, gesturing for Dean to hand her paper and pen. He shrugged, knowing he had neither, and turned to Sam. Sam handed Lilly a small notebook and a pen.

"Jake Shepherd," the man said. Lilly smiled and spoke again in a silky voice.

"Thanks so much," she said, "If you notice anything… Strange, just give us a call." Her voice dripped with false sweetness, and he handed him a card as she lightly touched his shoulder.

For an instant, his eyes changed color.

Then it was gone, and Dean was convinced he was imagining things.

"Sure," Jake said. "See you all," he added to Sam and Dean.

Dean pulled Lilly's shoulder around until she was facing him. "What the hell was that?"

She shrugged. "You had questions. I got answers."

"You know how quick you're going to blow our cover? And in this town, sugar, they're probably gonna shoot us where we stand."

Lilly fixed him with an icy glare. "Don't you think I know what I'm doing? And I got some information that might help us out, so I don't want to hear you complaining."

"Fine." Dean said, crossing his arms. "What'd you get?"

"First off, that exorcism the angels supposedly gave Leah is probably fake. The demons aren't actually dying, going back to hell, or even leaving the host if there is one. They just disappear. Poof, into thin air."

Dean and Sam exchanged a worried look.

"Second, all of this started, with Leah anyway, about a year ago. Right around the time you two said Lucifer got out."

_Had it really been a year?_

"Anything else?"

"No, that's pretty much it." Lilly fussed with her hair in agitation. "I still say we kill her," she muttered under her breath.

"Do you remember what the exorcism was?" Dean asked. Lilly shook her head; Sam nodded. "Let's go check that out."

Back in their motel room, Sam searched for anything about the exorcism. He'd been at it for about an hour, and didn't seem to be having any luck. Lilly and Dean sat on one of the beds. Dean was absently flipping through his dad's journal, and Lilly's gaze bounced back and forth between Sam and Dean.

"Hey, Dean?" She said softly, hoping they were out of Sam's earshot, or if they weren't, that he was so absorbed in research that he wouldn't notice.

"What's up?" He flipped the journal closed and looked over at her.

Lilly opened her mouth to speak, but then thought better of it. "Never mind," she said, smiling. Dean didn't buy it.

"What?" he said, his lips close to her ear.

Her jade green eyes seemed to stare right into his soul, and even though there was a touch of fear in those eyes, they shone with sharp intelligence and determination.

"Is this… Are we… Is this really what you want? Being with me?" Lilly asked, still speaking quietly. She didn't notice Sam's eyes flick to her for a split second.

"Of course," Dean said, grinning his Winchester grin. He elbowed her ribs lightly, and leaned in. "How could I not…"

She rolled her eyes and pushed him away. "Forget it," she said, chuckling.

"I'm serious," Dean said, his voice softer. "You make it worth getting up in the morning." He smiled at her sincerely, then his face screwed up into a grimace. "Damn it," he muttered.

Lilly frowned. "What?"

"I sound like those guys I make fun of!" Dean put his face in his heads, shaking his head. Lilly chuckled as he moaned in embarrassment.

"Am I not worth it?" She teased. Dean's eyes shot up to her brilliant eyes, her smooth features, and her toned figure. He let his eyes answer for him as he gazed up and down, finally resting on her face.

"You are absolutely worth it," he concluded, smiling and brushing his fingers across her cheek. Lilly smiled back, blushing.

"Alright, guys, if you can tear yourselves away from each other long enough, I may have something," Sam said, teasing, even though Lilly heard the distant pain behind his voice.

The imprint his lips had left on hers burned hot suddenly, and she could still feel the gentle but passionate touch, taste his lips as they met hers.

She avoided Dean's eyes as she turned to Sam.

"Yeah, what have you got?"

Sam nodded. "Well, there's nothing on the exorcism, but there's some lore on swarms of demons like this. We've seen it a few times," he added to Dean. "They all defer to a more powerful demon who seems to be able to yank their chain and control them-"

"No." A slightly slurred voice interrupted from across the room. "Wrong."

All three turned to look at Castiel, who was swaying slightly, and looked to have a somewhat bruised and bloodied face.

"Cas?" Dean asked, incredulous. "What the hell happened to you?"

The angel wearily dragged a hand over his face. "Some concoction you people call a purple nurple?"

Dean snorted with laughter. Sam and Lilly chuckled, but made an effort to hide it.

"Why were you drinking? You don't drink."

Castiel glared at Dean. "You do it enough," he griped, "so I thought maybe there was something to it."

Sam jumped in, gesturing slightly to Castiel's damaged face, grimacing. "What, ah, happened there? I thought angels were invincible."

Sam recoiled under the angel's withering glare. "I'm not invincible against gravity." He grabbed the countertop to steady himself, and then shook a finger at Dean. "You do this… Consume this poison… To make your problems go away."

Dean cocked his head to the side, considering, then shrugged and nodded.

"I see why you do it… But now, my head feels like it's… It's…" He struggled for words, coming up blank.

Dean sighed and stood up. "I know, splitting in half. Try these," he said, tossing him a bottle of aspirin.

"What?" Castiel asked.

"Just take it. It'll help the headache. Now what were you saying about us being wrong?" Dean demanded.

Castiel seemed to remember why he was there. "Leah Gideon is not a prophet," he announced.

Dean, still skeptical, frowned. "How could she not be?"

"Trust me, Dean, the names of every single prophet ever alive is burned into my brain. Leah Gideon is not one of them."

"Then what the hell is she?"

"The Whore." Castiel said it so simply.

"Excuse me?" Dean asked, clearly not understanding. Sam nodded to himself, and Lilly raised her eyebrows.

"The Whore of Babylon, here to bear false witness in the name of God," Castiel said. "The exorcism she's using is fake, and she is not getting any orders from any angels."

A smile was forming on Lilly's face. "So I can kill her?" She asked, a little too hopefully. Dean shot her a look.

"No." Castiel's answer withered her grin. "She must be killed with a stake by a man of God."

"That's a little sexist," Lilly pouted.

Castiel sighed. "Lilly, I honestly don't know if you could kill her or not, but you have one shot to do it. If you fail, we die."

"Always the optimist," she muttered.

Castiel raised his eyebrows, but didn't comment.

Dean was nodding. "Alright, so get us a stake and we'll gank the bitch and then we can leave." He glared at Castiel. "Right?" Castiel didn't respond. "Right?" Dean asked again, louder.

"You need someone else to do it."

"Why?"

"I said it has to be a man of God."

Dean threw his hands in the air and huffed. "I've been Heaven's puppet for how long now? And Sam is, well, he hasn't said yes to Lucifer!"

Castiel gave Dean a longsuffering look. "Please, Dean, you've been to hell and you are no longer there only by the grace of those who decided we could use you. You're hardly the optimal choice. And Sam's an abomination."

Sam crossed his arms and glared.

"Not my words." Castiel said, catching Sam's irritation.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, this town's got to be full of men of God. Let's go."

"Dean-" Castiel began.

"What?" Dean turned around impatiently.

"Get Pastor Gideon," Castiel said, his eyes unfocused. Dean rolled his eyes and ushered Sam and Lilly out the door.

"We got stakes?" Dean asked Sam.

"In the trunk," Sam nodded.

"Get 'em and let's go," Dean said, already moving forward. Lilly caught up to him quickly. She glared up at him with an _I-told-you-so _look.

"Dammit, Dean, why didn't you let me just kill her?"


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty Four

The three moved quickly through the town; despite dusk settling over the streets, everyone was still milling around, talking, standing guard.

Dean didn't like it.

The stakes were concealed under his and Sam's jackets. They hadn't planned it, but Dean suspected Lilly would probably try to do something to keep Leah busy. Even though he didn't want her interfering, in fear of both her safety and losing their chance to kill Leah, Dean knew better than to argue a moot point.

Thinking back, he almost laughed out loud. He was worried about the safety of a dreamwalker- a creature who, on a whim, could probably kill him and anyone she'd ever spoken to with little effort. If he had known what Lilly was the instant he'd met her, he probably wouldn't have cared one way or another if the Whore of Babylon killed her. He might even have preferred it.

But that wasn't the case, and Dean had become attached to Lilly long before knowing what she was.

Now, she was one of them, a hunter, who was using whatever necessary to kill something evil.

That, Dean could learn to live with.

They pressed through the crowd, hoping to avoid attention and make it to the church as quickly as possible. They were certainly getting through quickly enough, but it was requiring more attention than Dean or Sam cared for.

Lilly was striding out ahead of them, fixing an angry glare at anyone who stood in her way. People seemed to part ways for her, as if being pushed by some force-

"Stop it," Dean hissed at Lilly.

Her eyes taunted him for a brief moment, then she pushed her way through the last of the crowd.

The church was illuminated a street lamp, as well as the lights coming from inside. It would have looked fairly inviting, if not for the knowledge that one of the many horrors unleashed in the Apocalypse was lurking just inside, pretending to be a church girl.

Dean eased open the door, motioning for Sam and Lilly to follow. He brought up the rear, and noticed Lilly's jacket had ridden up so that the butt of her gun was showing. Quietly, he tugged it down to cover the gun. She jumped at first, but then her fingers brushed against it and she mouthed a thank you.

Sam crept around a corner, glancing down the flight of stairs that led to the basement. Dean leaned in, and heard Leah talking excitedly about the newest news from the angels. Both stepped back in surprise and worry when she said that the latest orders involved killing anyone who didn't believe in their cause.

"Crap!" Dean whispered harshly.

"You're telling me," Sam said. "We need to get this done."

Lilly's hand went back to her gun. "We need to get them out of the basement," she said quietly.

"Why?" Dean asked. Lilly gave him a look.

"This looks like it might involve a fight. I can tell you right now, you don't want to fight in a basement."

"Since when are you an expert on where to have a fight?"

"You don't have to be Stonewall Jackson to know you don't want to fight in a basement!" Lilly hissed.

Sam pushed them apart. "Stop it!" he growled. "I am not listening to you two!"

"What are you doing?" Someone said from behind them.

All three jumped slightly and turned to face Pastor Gideon.

"Oh, Pastor Gideon," Dean said. "We were, uh, admiring there paintings." He lied, gesturing to a framed painting on the wall next to time. He patted the frame lightly, and his face contorted when the picture tilted dangerously.

"Please, call me Paul," he said. Paul motioned for the three of them to follow him. They exchanged a glance, and trudged after the pastor into a smaller room that looked like an office. He sat behind a desk that was home to a reading lamp, a Bible, and several study books and pens.

"So, why were you three sneaking around my church?"

Dean stuttered. "We were, well, we, ah…"

Paul smiled good-naturedly, but in a way that told Dean he didn't like being lied to. "You were?"

Sam jumped in. "We need to talk." His eyes turned serious, and the faked smiled left his features.

"About what?" Paul looked at them expectantly.

Dean glanced from side to side, unsure of how to begin. _How do you tell someone their daughter is really the Whore of Babylon?_

"Leah." Lilly answered, an edge to her voice.

"What about Leah? What's wrong?" Paul was instantly concerned and protective.

"Paul, you know there's an Apocalypse happening." Sam said.

"And you need to be prepared to handle it if it comes at you." Dean said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. His eyes were deadly serious. "No matter what."

Paul leaned forward as well, a glare coming into his eyes. "Is something going to happen to Leah?"

"_Something _already has." Lilly muttered under her breath.

"You're not going to want to believe us." Dean began, his voice husky. "But trust me, pastor, you're gonna want to, or a lot of people are going to die."

"Tell me what's happening to my daughter!"

"Paul…" Sam tried to meet the man's eyes and couldn't. "It's not your daughter anymore."

Paul immediately jumped up, pulling his desk drawer open and brandishing a crucifix at them. He starting reciting the fake exorcism of Leah's.

Lilly rolled her eyes and sighed. Absently Dean thought that Lilly got more impatient and closer to his own personality by the hour.

"We're not demons." Dean said.

Paul didn't seem to be convinced. "What are you talking about? You shouldn't even be in this building!"

"We're not demons, and we're not lying to you," Sam said, with more patience than Dean did. "We're trying to save lives here."

Paul reluctantly sat down. "What's happening?"

"Your daughter was probably killed months ago, and the thing that you think is her- it's the Whore of Babylon." Dean said bluntly. No sense in beating around the bush.

Paul's face turned ashen. "No. That's not possible. Don't talk about my daughter like that!" He face flushed. "She's been given a gift!"

"It's not a gift." Lilly said. She reached across the table to touch his hand. "You have to believe us."

Dean stared at Lilly open-mouthed as Paul began to nod slowly, a tear falling from his eye.

"Why her?" he asked pitifully.

Dean just shook his head.

"What do I need to do?" Paul asked, his voice clearer. Dean wordlessly handed him the stake. "No," Paul said. His hands shook and his voice thickened. "I can't." He tried to push the stake away.

"Yes, you can." Dean said firmly. "You have to."

Paul stared at the stake for a long time. Finally, he nodded.

Dean, Sam and Lilly waited in the hall outside the pastor's office. They could just see the door to the basement, but they sat in a spot that wouldn't be noticed from Paul's office. Dean thought they should stay close in case something went wrong.

Lilly sat next to him on the bench, and Sam was on his other side, a space away, resting his chin on his hands. Sam was staring off into space in the direction of the basement.

Lilly sat stock still, staring straight ahead. Her hair fell over one shoulder, and her eyes occasionally flicked to the exit. Dean knew she wanted to get out as fast as possible.

He gently reached out and laid a hand on her thigh. At first she flinched, then turned to him and briefly smiled. She had fear written all over her face. To Dean, seeing Lilly-who was usually so brave and confident- anxious and afraid was unnerving.

Sam elbowed Dean when footsteps sounded farther down the hall. Dean heard Paul's voice.

"…. Wanted to talk to for a moment."

Dean nodded, and they all stood up. Sam still had his stake under his jacket, and he quickly felt to see if it was still there. He nodded at Dean.

Inching closer to the door, conversation could just barely be heard on the other side.

"But Daddy, don't you have faith?"

"I do, honey, but I just want to make sure this is right…" Paul's voice was thick. Dean glanced at Sam.

Sam handed Dean his stake, and Dean moved closer to the door, his hand on the handle. From inside the office, a chair scraped back, and then footsteps moved purposefully for a second. There was silence, then horrible yells and crashes echoed around them, and everything seemed to happen at once.

Dean flew through the door, with Lilly right behind him, to see Leah standing over Paul, the stake in his bloody hand.

She hauled him up by his collar, her eyes solid black, and threw him across the room. He slammed violently into the wall, and crumpled to a heat on the floor. He didn't get up.

Lilly shoved Dean back, hard enough to almost push him back out the door. He watched, terrified, as she swept into the room, hitting Leah full-force, and driving her back over the desk. They both flipped over it. Dean took only half a second to exchange a glance with Sam, then they both sprinted into the room and around the desk. Dean held the stake; Sam held a gun.

Lilly was on top of Leah, hands around her neck. Lilly's hair whipped around her face every time she tried to slam Leah's head back against the hardwood floor.

Leah's fist shot up and caught Lilly's cheek. The tiny diamond ring on Leah's finger cut open Lilly's skin, and blood flowed down to her chin. Lilly's eyes narrowed further, and Dean felt the air in the room crackle with the power of Lilly trying to break into Leah's mind.

Before Lilly could do anything, Leah lifted a knee into Lilly's stomach and at the same time whipped out a knife, slashing open Lilly's arm. Lilly flew into the wall behind the desk.

Dean instantly turned his head to Lilly, and started to move towards her.

"Dean!" Sam shouted. Dean's head shot up, and he saw Leah flying at him with her knife. He leaned out of the way just in time, and she only gazed his stomach. Nonetheless, he felt a considerable amount of blood flowing.

Without thinking, he wheeled towards Leah and tackled her to the ground, slamming the stake into her chest. She screamed.

For a moment, he thought it wouldn't work, and he had screwed up their only chance. Then Leah's eyes rolled back, and he saw a yellow-orange glow erupting through her eyes and slowly the rest of her body. She went still, and then her body turned to ash as Dean stood up.

"You okay?" Sam asked quietly. Dean nodded.

"Lilly…" Dean said as he turned. Her body was crumpled in an awkward position on the floor. Sam followed Dean over to her, but hung back. Dean brushed the hair off her face, trying to wipe the blood from her cheek and mouth as well. He felt a lump in his throat, but let out a deep breath when he felt her pulse.

It was shallow, but her heart was still beating.

Dean gathered her carefully in his arms, holding her waist. Her eyes blinked open, and her bottom lip started to tremble.

"It's okay, princess," Dean said softly. Lilly's arms wrapped around his neck, and she shook as she cuddled against him, like a child would after waking from a nightmare. "I'm right here," he whispered in her ear.

She cried into his shoulder as he picked up. He inclined his head at Sam and then the door, and they walked out off the office and out onto the street.

People flooded around them. "What happened?" "What's going on?" "Where are Paul and Leah?" The questions went on and on.

"Leah was possessed by a demon," Sam lied quietly, just enough so everyone could hear. "Paul… Paul was killed." He started to move away. "I'm sorry," he added.

"Where are you going?" Someone called out.

"Getting the hell away from here," Dean said quietly. He was too far away to be heard, and Sam didn't answer.

_Please review!_


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty Five

Dean carried Lilly to the door of the motel room, with Sam in toe. He cursed when he got to the door.

There was a note taped to it, written on yellow, lined paper.

_Dean-_

_ Tick tock, tick tock._

_ Her time is running out. Better make the most of it. She's mine, and I intend to have her back. _

_ As for now, you have something that belongs to me. It even has my name on it. If you want to make a deal, it could prevent, shall we say, collateral damage. Think it over, will you?_

_ Give Lilly a kiss for me._

_ -Slade_

"Son of a bitch," Dean cursed again. Lilly was still groggy and upset in his arms. She looked so helpless, even though Dean knew she was far from it. "Bastard," Dean said as he wiped a stream from blood from Lilly's cheek.

"The door's not going to unlock itself, Sammy," Dean snapped at his brother, who held the keys. Sam gave him a dirty look.

Once inside, Dean laid Lilly carefully on the bed. He rolled up the sleeve of her shirt, warned her it might sting, and dabbed it with alcohol from the bottle in his duffel bag. She winced.

Lilly woke further as Dean stitched the cut, and she hissed several times in pain, but didn't jerk away. "Thanks," she said when he finished.

Dean kissed her forehead. "No problem," he said. He ran his fingers through her hair, stroking the back of her neck. "We've got bigger issues, though," he said seriously.

Lilly frowned, waiting for him to go on.

He handed her the note.

"Dammit," she said when she finished reading, her face paler than it had been before. She met Dean's eyes, and he saw pain and concealed terror in them. It was almost always her reaction in reference to Slade. "I guess you want to see it."

"What?" Dean asked, confused.

Lilly looked at him grimly. "He said you have something of his, and it even has his name on it. I figured you'd want to see it."

"That dick was serious?" Dean said, his jaw hanging open. Lilly nodded.

"I tried to burn it off," Lilly said as she pulled her jeans a little lower on her hips. On one side, there was the long scar that Dean was so fond of kissing. He almost smiled thinking about it.

On the other side, that for some reason he had never noticed, there was a dark patch of skin that at first glance looked something like a birthmark. On closer inspection, it was slightly sunken in, and had a stretched-too-tight look to it that most scars have. Dean felt a pang of sympathy, and horror at what might have made her do this to herself.

Just barely visible, under the burn, was a white knife scar- S. S.

"I couldn't get rid of it," Lilly said, "But it wasn't for lack of trying," she added bitterly.

Dean touched it very lightly, his fingertips just brushing her skin. Still, he felt her tense up.

When he looked up to her eyes, she just shrugged innocently, as if to say she couldn't help flinching.

The gesture made Dean really wish Sam weren't in the room.

"We need to get moving," he said quickly, burying his sudden feeling. "Ow," he moaned upon trying to get up.

"Lean back," Lilly said softly, reaching for the alcohol. She pushed up his shirt once he was lying flat. "Damn, Dean," she said, "This is pretty bad."

"I'd say it's a pretty small price to pay for a lap dance," he said, grinning at Lilly. She was practically straddling him to examine the cut on his stomach, and it was making him wish once again that Sam was somewhere else.

Lilly blushed, and adjusted herself to sit at his side. Dean pouted, pushing a strand of hair back behind her ear.

She moved to push up his shirt further. Dean remembered her initials carved under his tattoo. Quickly he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. She laughed lightly, and didn't push further.

As she cleaned the cut of blood, Dean reminded himself that they really weren't her initials. With a glimmer of joy, something he didn't feel often, he thought maybe someday they would be. _Damn it, I'm turning soft…_he thought to himself.

Lilly stitched the wound with quick efficiency, patting his stomach when she finished.

"All better," she said. She glanced around quickly, checking the windows. "Can we leave now?"

"Absolutely," Dean said, standing up. He winced a little. They grabbed their duffel bags and headed out the door, throwing everything in the Impala when they reached it.

Dean opened the door for Lilly. He saw a light bruise beginning to form at her cheek, and on her arm. She still looked a little out of it.

"You need to rest in the car," he said gently as he took off his coat. "Use this," he said, offering her the leather jacket.

"Thanks," she said, giving him her wonderful smile. He drew her chin up with his fingertips, bringing his lips to meet hers. Her hand rested at his waist, and he felt her relax into the kiss, leaning into him.

Dean heard an awkward cough, and pulled away slowly, smiling at Lilly and caressing her cheek. He saw Sam on the other side of the Impala, giving him a pointed an impatient look.

"Did you forget there's a demon riding our ass?" Sam asked.

"Gotta go out in a blaze of glory, Sammy," Dean said, grinning, as he tried unsuccessfully to put his hand in Lilly's back pocket. She swatted his hand away playfully, and climbed into the back seat.

Once on the road, they all settled into an easy silence, the radio playing quietly, for once. Sam dozed in the passenger seat, occasionally glancing at a map when he woke up. Dean drove steadily on, consistently well above the speed limit, heading southwest. His eyes only left the highway once, to look in the rearview mirror and share a smile with Lilly.

She was curled up in the backseat, and finally drifted down to sprawl out her legs. She used Dean's leather jacket as a pillow, and buried her face in it when she settled herself. Its scent gave her a chill- it was something that was so completely _Dean._

_Almost as good as the real thing, _she thought wistfully. The jacket smelled like leather, woodsmoke, and Dean's aftershave. Lilly snuggled closer to it, the concerns about Slade seeming very far away.

After they were considerably far away from Minnesota, all of them eased up and relaxed, enjoying driving literally into the sunset and not having a destination in mind. Several hours in, as it was starting to get dark, Dean announced that they were finding a bar.

Lilly nodded. "I could use some tequila," she said earnestly. Dean let himself shiver. It was certainly an interesting thought.

Even Sam said he wanted a beer, and they all kept an eye out for any bar that looked close to the highway.

"There!" Lilly called out, pointing to their left. "There's a motel right next to it, too. We're in luck." She grinned.

Dean was practically beaming as he pulled into the parking lot. The Impala rolled to a stop between an older Mustang and a motorcycle. He liked the place already.

The doors swung open to let loud music waft out, and Dean elbowed his way through people playing cards, darts, or shooting pool. He came to a stop at the bar, smiling at the bartender.

"Shot of whiskey, please," he said. The older man behind the counter grinned, showing a set of teeth with a few gaps.

"Sure thing."

Sam took a seat next to Dean, and ordered a beer. The bartender responded the same way.

Dean pulled Lilly to him by her waist, kissing the top of her head. She beamed up at him, then turned in his arms and put her back to him to gaze out over the crowd.

Nuzzling Lilly's neck, Dean felt happier than he had in a long time. He grinned at Sam, and then quickly gulped the whiskey when it came sliding down the car, and ordered another.

Lilly joined Dean at the bar, ordering tequila for herself. They laughed and talked for close to an hour, when she said she was going to go check into the motel next door.

"'Kay," Dean slurred. He was on at least his fifth shot of whiskey. "Hey! I'll come with you."

Lilly chuckled. "No, I think we'll have to come back later and tow you out of here," she joked, "Just wait here. Sam can help me with the bags."

Sam stood and walked to the door, holding it open for Lilly. They disappeared behind the closing door, and Dean turned back to the bar.

Dean realized how drunk he probably was, but somehow couldn't make himself. He was in a damn good mood, and not about to spoil it with sobriety.

He glanced around the room, and his eyes came to rest on the occupant of the stool a few spaces away from his.

Then everything went to hell.

Sam and Lilly walked out of the bar in a slightly uneasy silence. They stopped at the Impala, and Sam turned to face Lilly.

"Look, Lilly, I shouldn't have kissed you," he blurted. Lilly looked surprised.

"Sam, it's fine, can we just forget about it-"

"No, we can't," Sam said, a little impatiently. "It may have been the wrong thing to do and say, but I meant it. All of it," he added.

"I know, Sam," Lilly said quietly.

"Just saying," he said, his voice as soft as hers.

They grabbed the bags from the backseat and trunk and hurried to the motel. The woman at the counter smiled at them and checked them in. At Sam's insistence, they got two rooms.

By the time their belongings were put away, Sam and Lilly were joking comfortably, content to put their earlier discussion behind them for the time being.

They were laughing as they made their way back to the bar. Sam held the door for Lilly as they went in, letting her go first. He almost ran into her when she stopped dead in her tracks just inside the door.

Lilly's jaw dropped, then a lump formed in her throat.

Dean was sitting right where they'd left him at the bar, only this time, he was attached at the mouth to a thin blonde wearing a short skirt. One hand was tangled in the woman's hair, and the other was at the small of her back, pulling her to him.

The passionate kiss didn't break when the door opened, or when someone accidentally elbowed Dean passing by.

Lilly felt her anger flare up before she could stop it, and hurled herself into the woman's mind, intending to do damage. Luckily, Sam put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her back, and the woman only felt an ounce of pain.

"Ow!" She cried as she pulled back from Dean. She whirled to face the door, and saw Lilly glaring. She smirked, her low-cut top slipping further as she moved.

Dean turned to face the door as well. "Son of a bitch," he said quietly. He hung his head, knowing, even in his drunken state, that he had screwed up.

Lilly turned on her heel and walked out.

She stormed into the parking lot, pulling the Impala's keys from her pocket. She ignored the pounding feet behind her.

"Lilly, wait!" It was Sam, not Dean. He reached her huffing and puffing, and she rounded on him, glaring and ready to throw her anger at anyone in the way.

"I-" he began.

"Don't you dare say I told you so to me, Sam Winchester!" Lilly screamed. She didn't wait for a reply or protest before jumping into the car and throwing it into drive.

She sped out of the parking lot in a cloud of dust.

Sam watched her go, a sinking feeling in his heart.

Dean reached him moments later, soon enough to see the Impala's taillights turn off onto the highway.

"Dammit," Dean said hoarsely. Sam didn't know if he meant the car or Lilly. He turned to face Dean, ready to chew him out, and saw there were tears in his brother's eyes. Even if it was the whiskey, Lilly meant something to him.

"I love her, Sammy," Dean said, choking on his words.

Sam almost scoffed at the notion of Dean loving anyone, and pass off his feelings on the fact that he was drunk, but then he met Dean's eyes and saw real, sober feelings.

He'd been wrong.

But now it didn't matter, because Lilly was long gone.

_Reviews, please?_


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty Six

Dean woke up the next morning groggily, with a pounding headache. He half- smiled, his eyes still closed, as he felt warm sunlight through the window shining on his face. He reached around next to him for Lilly, a little worried when there was no one next to him.

Then the night before came slamming home.

The girl at the bar… He didn't even know her name.

The best thing he'd ever had, ruined by too many shots of Jack Daniels and a girl whose name he didn't know.

Without Lilly, Dean wanted to say to hell with the Apocalypse, to hell with Michael and Lucifer, to hell with hunting. He wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

Making himself get up, he scolded himself. They had to find Lilly. If not because Slade was still out there, then because Dean had to at least tell her he was sorry. If she hated him, fine. He had to say it.

He guessed Sam was in a different room. Nausea and wooziness hit him hard when he tried to stand, and he made getting strong coffee a priority.

Stepping lightly to avoid any unnecessary noise, Dean padded to the bathroom and stared into the mirror. He hated the face staring back at him. Years of pain and heartache and mistakes and regrets were etched into the lines of his face. Years of holding back, suppressing his own emotions and desires in favor of those of others. Mindless self-sacrifice in the name of duty. Honor. His father's will.

Lilly had deserved better to begin with, and Dean had failed anyway. He'd screwed up, and he probably wasn't going to get a second chance.

A light knock came on the door. "Hey, Dean?" Sam's muffled voice called.

"Yeah," Dean called back, his voice hoarse.

Sam opened the door and stepped inside. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

Dean stormed out. "Yeah, I'm just peachy! How the hell do you think I am?" he shouted.

Sam's eyes darkened. "Maybe if you hadn't been swapping spit with some slut-"

"Damn it, Sam, I was drunk! Don't you think I've been telling myself the same thing? I'm not stupid. I know I screwed up." Dean hung his head, trying to regulate his breathing. "I screwed up bad."

"Do you have any idea how much she loves you?" Sam asked bitterly.

"Of course I do."

"No, I mean, really, really, know? What she went through with you, at first?"

"I was a dick, Sammy, I know that!" Dean slammed his fist down on the table.

"She would die for you in a heartbeat." Sam's words hung like a heavy cloud, and Dean felt his throat constrict, and blinked quickly.

"She almost did," he whispered. "So yeah, I know."

He glared up at Sam. "Now I have a question for you." Dean leveled his gaze at his brother. "Do have any idea how I feel about her? What she means to me?"

Slowly and reluctantly, Sam shook his head.

Unable to think of another way to prove it, Dean pulled up his shirt.

At first Sam didn't catch on, until he saw Dean's tattoo- and under it, his new, still-healing scar.

"Dean… What the hell is wrong with you…?" Sam said, studying it.

"Chuck told me I had to." Sam's head shot up. "I know, I know," Dean said, holding up a hand defensively. "But Chuck said it would save her life. Now would I do this for anybody I didn't love?"

Again, Sam shook his head. "Wait…" Sam said, cocking his head to the side. "Lilly's last name is Holloway. I remember, we talked about how much she hates it."

Dean nodded.

Understanding slowly dawned on Sam.

Sam glared and moved towards his brother. "You can't."

Dean challenged his glare. "Why not?"

"You- You… It's you! You can't!" Sam yelled. Dean stepped forward, letting his shirt fall back down.

"Now do you see?" Dean roared. "I screwed up, Sam!" Dean brushed past Sam and headed out the door.

"Damn it!" He screamed from outside. He stormed back in. "She took the damn car!"

( )

"Damn it, Bobby, help me!" Dean yelled into the phone. "Well, I don't care! Do something! Just find her, and find my damn car." He slammed the phone down onto the desk.

"Any luck?" Sam asked.

Dean glared. "Bobby said he'd look into it."

"Hey, Dean?" Sam said tentatively. Dean turned back to and glared again.

"What?"

"I found a job." Sam turned the laptop to face Dean, displaying a news article. Dean's glare only darkened.

"Do you think we have time for a job right now? We have to find Lilly, before Slade finds her!"

Sam was shaking his head. "Dean, I don't know if the thing with Slade is what you think it is," he said slowly.

"What do you mean? He's a demon. We kill him. It's pretty damn simple."

Sam frowned. "Dean, I looked up the name Sebastian Slade. He's a character in an old Broadway play."

Dean threw his hands in the air. "So? Some crazy old bat wrote a play and used that name. Big deal."

"How many demons do you know with last names?"

"What are you trying to say?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. I really don't."

Dean narrowed his eyes. "You think something."

Sighing, Sam looked up. "I think Lilly has had a tough life, and has probably seen more than anyone should ever have to."

"And?" Dean demanded.

"And I think something happened to her, and she invented all this to keep from losing her mind."

Dean stared at Sam incredulously. "You're kidding me, right?"

Sam shrugged again. "I don't know, Dean, it just seems-"

"Really? After all we've seen, you think _she made it up?_ You think that it wasn't real?" Sam looked like he was about to start again, but Dean interjected. "What about the scar on her hip? It said S.S. Sebastian Slade."

"She could have done it to herself, Dean," Sam said quietly.

Dean thought of something else. "What about the hellhound? It was branded."

"I wasn't close enough to see it." Sam shook his head.

"Damn it, Sam, what's wrong with you? You know about this stuff. This is what we do, and you're doubting it now? When someone's going to die?"

"You don't know she's going to die."

Dean glared. "No, she's not, because I'm not going to let her. I'm gonna kill the son of a bitch before that happens."

"Dean…" Sam sighed. "Just trust me, okay? She'll come back when she's ready."

"Yeah, and hell will freeze over!"

"Let's just work this case, and if we hear anything about where she is, we'll go after her. Fair enough?"

Dean thought Sam was covering something up, but he was too spent to worry about it. Instead he eased his glare slightly, and turned around. "We need a damn car," he muttered.

"Got one," Sam said. Dean turned around to face him, frowning.

"What?"

Sam held up the phone. "I called a rental car service," he said, "One's being delivered as soon as they can get out here."

Dean's glare returned.

( )

Sitting in the shiny new rental car, Dean glanced from side to side incredulously. "What the hell are all these extra knobs for? Damn it, Sam, you didn't have to get a douche car."

Sam shook his head. "Dean, this car has consistently functioning temperature control, a navigation system, and a CD player."

"I want my baby back," Dean pouted. He shook a finger at Sam. "And I don't need that crap. That's why there's jackets, maps, and cassettes."

Sam rolled his eyes.

The car was a compact, silver hybrid sedan. Dean hated it. The engine sounded like a Darth Vader breathing, and the gas pedal reacted to the slightest change in pressure, making for a bumpy ride. Dean was used to being able to put the pedal to the floor and still handle the vehicle smoothly.

"Dean, why don't you let me drive?" Sam asked. Dean slammed his fist onto the steering wheel, and growled at the car's reluctance to go past eighty without producing a horrid whine.

"This isn't natural!" Dean shouted, ignoring Sam's comment, once again slamming on the gas and sending them lurching forward.

"You shouldn't be allowed to drive," Sam said under his breath.

"This piece of crap car shouldn't be driven!"

"Let me drive."

"Fine. Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam gave Dean a half smile, but Dean didn't return it. He wasn't in the mood.

There had been no word from Bobby, but Dean wondered if it was from lack of information or lack of whole-hearted research. Bobby hadn't been too keen about Lilly the last time they'd met. Dean wondered if the older man thought he was just as well without her.

_But I'm not, _Dean thought, _I have to get her back._

"So what's the case, anyway?" Dean asked, taking a seat on the passenger side.

Sam slid in the driver's seat, and pulled back onto the highway. He grabbed the papers sitting in the console and looked them over. "In Kokomo, Indiana-" Sam grimaced "-a family moved into new house a few weeks ago, and is complaining of flickering lights, items coming up missing, and strange noises."

"Doubt that's what the Beach Boys had in mind," Dean said, unable to even crack a smile. Sam raised his eyebrows in agreement, as he alternated between scanning the papers and watching the road.

"Yeah, no kidding," Sam said absently as he glanced at the now functioning GPS, which Dean hadn't been able to figure out. Sam took the next turnoff, and ended up on another interstate.

"Wake me up when we get there," Dean said sourly, as leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

He fell asleep quickly, but not without thinking of Lilly first.

( )

Dean woke up suddenly, to Sam shaking his shoulder and shouting his name. Briefly disoriented, he wondered why they weren't in the Impala, why Sam was driving, and why Lilly wasn't in the backseat like always.

Once again, it hit him- hard- that she was really gone.

Angrily, he stomped out the car and to the motel they were parked in front of. He realized he didn't know which room was theirs, and he turned around to look at Sam and crossed his arms.

Sam gave him a longsuffering look, and tossed him the keys to room number eleven. Dean moved closer so Sam could toss him the duffel bag, and then turned back and unlocked the door.

Dean felt the old dread he'd once faced daily resurface. It was the monotony of case after case, killing, and running from both angels and the law. It was the general difficulty and loneliness he'd felt before he met Lilly.

Absently, he dug through the duffel bag. The majority of their badges were in the trunk of the Impala; the only IDs they had left were the Stark and Bailey ones that they had used in Blue Earth. After some more digging, he pulled out his cell phone, and realized he hadn't even looked at it in probably a week and a half. Curious, he flipped it open.

His heart jumped painfully when he saw a message from Lilly, from right before she'd driven off.

_Sam wants to know if you want to order a pizza. Just a heads up._

Dean knew it wouldn't do any good, but he dialed her number anyway.

_"We're sorry; the number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please make sure you have dialed correctly, or try-"_

Dean hung up, dejected.

The phone rang, making him jump, and then hope it was from Lilly.

"Hello?" Dean answered, a little too eagerly.

_"Dean?"_ It was Bobby.

"Yeah, what's up? Did you find her?"

_"Not exactly."_ Bobby sounded at a loss for words.

Dean felt his heart race. "Don't you dare tell me she's dead, Bobby, don't you dare."

Bobby sighed. _"Quit your belly-achin'. Nothing I found out makes me think that. Fact, just the opposite."_

"Well?"

_"Found your car."_

( )

_Sorry this chapter is so long in coming, and a bit short… I didn't count on having as busy a week, and it just caught up with me. Enjoy; have a good weekend, everyone! Please leave some reviews!_


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty Seven

"What? Where? I've got maps and junk here somewhere-"

_"Hush up for a minute and let me talk. It's in Bartlett, Tennessee, right outside of Memphis. I called around some-"_

Dean paced around the room anxiously. "Bobby, that's great, she couldn't have gone far without the car-"

The older man sighed again. _"Unless she got another. Which she did."_

"What?"

_"Look it up. Some poor schmuck sold his 67 Cadillac DeVille. All kinda local buzz about it; it was supposed to be his prized possession, and he sold it real cheap. Said the girl who bought must've just talked him into it. Last time anyone saw it was this morning, flying south on I55."_

"You're kidding," Dean cursed under his breath. "How the hell did she get to Tennessee that fast?"

He could almost hear Bobby shrug and glare. _"You're the one that keeps that Impala's engine tuned up. She must not have stopped."_

"Guess not." Dean said. "So where's my car?"

_"In a shop in Bartlett. It's in long term storage."_

"So I have to steal back my own car."

_"Nope. Shop owner says he's supposed to give it to Detectives Stark and Bailey, who'll be in town in the next week."_

"Damn that girl."

_"Don't get me started on that, boy."_

"You don't like her, do you?"

Bobby chuckled. _"If she weren't a dreamwalker, I would. But she is, so, no, not one damn bit."_

Dean made himself stop pacing. "Then why are you even helping?"

_"You love her, don't you? You idjit."_

"Yeah, I do." Dean sighed.

_"Well, I noticed. So that's why."_

"Thanks, Bobby."

_"Don't get all sappy on me. I can't have you start growin' lady parts."_

For the first time that day, Dean let himself chuckle. "Alright. I'll call if anything comes up."

_"Yep." _Bobby hung up.

Dean sat down and just stared at his hands. He felt an ass, but at least he knew where she was headed. And what she was driving.

"At least she's got taste," Dean muttered under his breath. The thought of Lilly speeding down the interstate in a Cadillac was just a little amusing, but at the same time fitting.

Sam came into the motel room and slung his own duffel off his shoulder and onto the other bed. "You okay, Dean?" He asked.

"Just got a call from Bobby," Dean said, standing. "Lilly kindly decided to drop the car off in Tennessee, and take off again in a Caddy."

Sam's eyes widened. "Really? Wow."

"Yeah," Dean said sarcastically. "So looks like we're packing up."

"Wait, what? We've got a case, Dean?"

Dean glared. "Damn it, Sam, I only took this case because we didn't know where Lilly was. Now we do. And we know where the car is. So we're going to go get them."

"Dean, she could be anywhere by now. And the car isn't going anywhere."

Storming closer to Sam, and jabbing a finger into his chest, Dean's face clouded. "You were the one that wanted to rescue from that barn in Mississippi. You were the one who wanted to take her with us. You were the one who kept me from killing her when I found out about her being a dreamwalker. That was all you, Sammy. Now, I love her and I know you do, too, I'm not stupid, and you're just going to let her run? With who the hell knows what after her?"

"Dean, I told you what I think about-"

"Even if it's not Slade, think about what Michael, or Lucifer, would do to her if they could get her. Remember what Cas said? She's wanted as a weapon, and we're supposed to protect her. Bang-up job we're doing." Dean glared. "On top of that," he added, "isn't she the reason Michael and Lucifer haven't been riding our asses lately? Do you think they'd quit for no reason? They'll start back up as soon as they catch wind of it. Is that what you want? To be an angel meat suit?"

Sam shook his head.

"Then go get that pansy-ass car and head to Tennessee."

"Dean, listen to me for one minute, okay?" Sam said, folding his arms. Dean reluctantly nodded. "If Lilly were really in trouble, wouldn't Cas have told us by now?"

Dean didn't reply.

"And like I said before, she'll come back when she'd ready."

Dean threw his hands in the air and began pacing. "What the hell is your problem-"

"I talked to her."

"You _what?"_

"She called last night. She said she was fine, and just wanted some time. I said we'd leave her alone for a while, but asked her to come back. She said maybe if she decides it's worth it."

Dean was speechless. "And you decided to just not tell me about this? What's your damn problem, Sammy?"

Sam sighed. "She asked me not to."

Taking a step closer, Dean glared into Sam's eyes. "Let me explain something to you. We're family. We've been over this before, and we have to trust each other. How the hell can I trust you when you keep secrets, Sammy?" Sam started to open his mouth, but Dean cut him off. "Beyond that, you know what Lilly means to me. You know, or you should know, that I would die for her, and right now, I want her back more than anything. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," Sam said quietly. "Dean, I'm sorry," he said, and Dean thought he meant it.

"Whatever. Go get that piece of junk and bring it around; I'll check out."

( )

Twenty minutes later, they were back on the road. Dean was unhappily huddled in the passenger seat, staring at the map, ignoring Sam's protests to use the GPS.

"You need to get back on the highway, Sam," Dean said, studying the map intently.

"I'm trying. The only exits are headed north, and we need to go south."

"Uh-huh." Dean was utterly disinterested.

"Damn it," Sam said under his breath, scanning street signs. Dean glanced up, and saw a cheery sign welcoming them to Kokomo, Indiana. He turned to Sam.

"You son of a bitch," he said flatly.

Sam held up his hands defensively and failed to keep from grinning. "Dean, I swear, I didn't mean to-"

"Shut up," Dean griped. "If we're here anyway, may as well get this over with."

Sam shrugged his agreement and grabbed the file from the console, glancing at the address. Somewhat smugly, he entered it into the GPS, and got directions.

"See how easy this is?" Sam asked as he pulled into the driveway of a new-looking house.

"I see how much of a douche you are," Dean muttered. He stepped out the car, and looked down at himself. He was wearing jeans with a hole in the knee, biker boots, a t-shirt, a button-up shirt, and his leather jacket. Electrical repairmen seemed to be the best way to go.

Sam was already headed up the small stairs onto the porch. Dean caught up just as he rang the doorbell.

"Hi," A woman said tentatively from the other side of a screen door. She was middle aged, good looking but plain, and looked hassled. They saw why a moment later, when an energetic child flung himself at her leg.

"Mommy!" The small boy wailed. She told him to hush and to his room.

"Can I help you all?" She asked, sounding like she wanted nothing more than for them to go away.

"Yes, we're here from the electric company," Dean said, throwing in a fake smile.

"Oh, right, come on in," the woman said, opening the screen door. "I'm Mrs. Hamilton."

"Nice to meet you," Sam said absently as he glanced around. He looked at Dean and shrugged. The house looked and felt incredibly normal.

"We've been having problems lately," Mrs. Hamilton was saying, "And we're really just getting sick of it. With the kids in the house-" she gestured around her- "we can't let it go on. It's starting to scare them a little," She admitted quietly.

Sam pointed a vague finger at her, as though just remembering her. "You're the ones who've had some things go missing, too, right?"

The woman nodded, her blonde hair bobbing.

"Huh. What kinds of things?" Dean asked, trying to sound disinterested and innocent at the same time."

She shrugged. "It's strange. It's nothing valuable; mostly just junk. There was a little watch, and a few other knick knacks."

"That is odd," Dean agreed. "We need to look at your wiring, and circuit breakers, if you don't mind-"

"Sure, sure," Mrs. Hamilton said. "They're in the basement. And while you're at it, if you see any rats down there, let me know. There's been all kinds of scratching sounds and things like that."

Dean grimaced at Sam, and followed her down the hall to a door at the end. She opened the door for them, flicked on a light, and motioned down the stairs.

"It's a little musty down there, but I don't think there's anything too scary," She said, smiling. Dean smiled back weakly, and his smile faded into a worried frown as he glanced down the stairs.

Mrs. Hamilton was already walking away. "There's another light switch at the bottom of the stairs," she called over her shoulder.

Dean glanced at Sam, who was staring into the darkness at the bottom of the stairs, and shrugged. "Here goes," he grunted as he started down.

He flipped the light switch at the bottom, and saw what looked like a storage area, with boxes stacked haphazardly in corners. It was damp, and a little chilly, but didn't look menacing.

"Get out the EMF, Sammy," Dean said. He glanced around, looking in corners, glancing into a few boxes, and nudging others with the toe of his boot. Hearing the steady _whir _of EMF meter, he moved through the cardboard maze, looking for anything out of place. There was a skittering off to his right, and he wheeled around to follow the noise. Nothing was there.

"It's still normal," Sam said, waving the EMF over boxes, walls, and even the floor. Its buzz never changed. They searched the basement methodically, and found nothing unusual or supernatural.

"Could it be somewhere else?" Sam asked. Dean shrugged.

"Sure," he replied, still looking around the room.

"Hey, look at this," Sam called out. He had crossed the basement and was crouched by the wall. In one hand, he held a frayed electrical wire. Picking up the other end, he frowned, and looked at Dean.

"What the hell…?" Dean said. He hadn't known a spirit, or ghost, to ever _actually _mess with wiring. Their own imbalance did enough damage by itself.

"Poltergeist?" Sam suggested. Dean shrugged again. "I know this is a crazy suggestion," Sam said, "but maybe we should check the breaker box."

"Yeah," Dean said, still frowning at the frayed wire. The look was familiar, but he couldn't place how.

"It's over here," Sam said as he stood and motioned to a grey box a few yards away. Dean stood up, touched the butt of his gun that was covered by his jacket, and moved towards the box. There was the same skittering sound he'd heard earlier.

He motioned at the box to Sam, who nodded and soundlessly pulled a gun from behind his back. Dean lifted one finger, then two, then a third, and sprung the handle on the breaker box.

There was a screech, and then a decidedly womanish yell that Dean realized was coming from his own lips. He heard a hiss, and cursed.

Sitting inside the breaker box, clinging for dear life to the bundle of wires to one side, was a giant raccoon.

It bared its teeth, but didn't move. Dean exchanged a glance with Sam, unsure of how to proceed.

At the bottom of the box sat a purple watch, a small stuffed animal, and the remains of a bag of crackers.

The raccoon hissed again, and the lights flickered as the wires it was hanging onto swayed. Upon closer inspection, there was a hole in the back of the box that looked like it had rusted, then just been clawed through at the weakened section. The insulation in the wall behind it looked damaged as well.

Sam leaned closer to examine the wiring, and the raccoon hissed again. Dean grabbed the back of Sam's collar and hauled him backwards.

"Are you crazy? Those things are vicious. And they carry rabies."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I wasn't going to try to pet it, Dean."

"It could have gone for the throat."

"Dean-"

"It's a wild animal, Sam. You have to have a healthy respect for nature. Meaning you don't stick your face up next to it."

Sam rolled his eyes again. "Okay, Ranger Rick, how do we get it out?"

Dean thought for a minute. "How about we don't, and call animal control or an exterminator, or something."

"Sounds good," Sam agreed. He carefully shut the breaker box, and they both hurried up the stairs.

"That was fast," Mrs. Hamilton said as met them at the top of the stairs.

"You have a raccoon infestation," Dean blurted. Mrs. Hamilton's eyes went wide.

"Oh my God, well, do I need to get the kids out the house, what's going to happen-"

Sam stopped her with a hand. "Just call animal control, and they'll take care of it and tell you what you need to do."

"It's contained in the breaker box," Dean added. Sam gave him a look.

"You might want to call about redoing your insulation. We think that's how it got in." He started to move forward, and then stopped. "It also seems to like children's toys, and crackers."

Mrs. Hamilton paled.

Back at the car, Dean slid into the passenger seat and grumbled once again about the rental car, before glaring at Sam.

"_We have to take this case, we can't just let it go," _He mocked in a whiny voice. "We are never going with your idea again."

Sam just glared back. "Well, sorry. Now we know that in Indiana, there are basements haunted by raccoons."

"Whatever. Now drive this crap car to Tennessee and get me my baby back."

( )

_Please review! I haven't heard much, but one of you all hit the nail on the head with where this is going… I didn't reply to it because I didn't want to give too much away. I'd love to hear thoughts!_


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty Eight

The drive to Tennessee was long, and mostly quiet. Sam drove through the newly arrived rain without comment, and Dean stared out the window absently. He was silently reliving the past months, and agonizing over every detail that had could have gone differently. Once he had spent several hours torturing himself about his time with Lilly, he moved onto to other things.

Sam was at the forefront of that list. Dean felt as though he'd failed his brother in a thousand ways, some of them major, most of them not. If he had been more understanding when Sam had left for Stanford. If he had kept in touch. If he hadn't dragged Sam off to find their dad. If he had done more to stop Sam's psychic abilities, way back when they dealt with the Yellow-Eyed demon. If he hadn't gone to hell. If he had put a stop to the Ruby thing, instantly. If he had stopped Sam sooner…

If, if, if. None of it mattered anymore.

Thinking harder, he reasoned that if he had ever had faith in God, or if he was more of a righteous man than he was, maybe he could put on a brave face, and say yes to Michael, and be the big hero.

At the cost of the entire world, destroyed in an Apocalypse that he had helped bring about in the first place.

Dean leaned his seat back, resting his hands behind his head in the best pillow he could manage. It was cold, but he made no effort to button his jacket or turn on the heat. The rain outside poured down, coming in thick sheets that threatened to swallow up the view of anything more than a few yards from the car. Dean saw an exit with an advertisement for a motel.

"I'm taking it," Sam said, noticing the same sign. Dean didn't protest or say anything. "What, no comment?" Sam said, half-joking.

Dean just shook his head. He steeled his gaze, hiding away all the misery and disgusting self-pity he felt. Somewhere, he knew that getting a grip on it would not only keep him from breaking down and bawling like a baby, it would keep him from losing his mind and his grip on reality. There's only so much pain the mind can take, and Dean was intimately familiar with exactly where those boundaries were. In hell, he had crossed them several times, and sometimes worried that he'd never fully come back, not all the way.

_Sometimes dead is better, _he thought cryptically. If he'd stayed dead, he wouldn't have had to deal with the problems that came with life.

They checked into the motel, and Dean grabbed his duffel from the backseat and headed straight to the room. It was fairly late, and he had no interest in anything but sleeping. Sam seemed happy to oblige, and was snoring in minutes.

Dean couldn't make himself fall asleep. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw Lilly… He couldn't keep his mind off her, and getting her back. He couldn't stop focusing on her being in danger, or needing to find her, or how he was possibly going to convince her he was sorry.

_What if she takes off again? _Dean suddenly realized he hadn't considered the possibility that Lilly might not come back. She might not believe him if he said it wouldn't happen again, and after half a year of thinking someone she loved hated her, he wouldn't blame her. But he couldn't let her leave. It wouldn't happen.

Dean finally fell into a restless sleep a few moments later, after convincing himself he would find a way to make Lilly see how he felt.

_Dean dreamed he was being chased. He and Lilly were running, always running, but never fast enough. The demon chasing them was strong, and couldn't be held in conventional devil's trap. Lilly urged him, begged him, to go faster, to not slow down and get them caught. No matter how fast they went or how far ahead they were, the demon always caught them._

_ And it always made Dean watch as it tortured Lilly, before starting in on him._

Dean woke up in a cold sweat, his heart pounding rapidly. He shook the dream from his mind, reminding himself that's all it was- a dream. It was still dark out, and from the sound, still raining. Sam was still asleep across the room.

After he checked that his gun was still on the nightstand and the knife was still under the pillow, he let himself relax. He grudgingly realized he probably wouldn't get much sleep, at least not until they found Lilly.

( )

In the morning, Dean woke up before Sam. Sam was obviously surprised and concerned.

"Are you sure you're okay? You never wake up early."

"Couldn't sleep," Dean said absently as he stared around the room, sipping coffee.

"Dean…" Sam began. "I know-"

Dean interrupted him with a glare. "No, you don't know. You have no idea. Don't start, just get the car."

Sam looked at him sympathetically. "I lost Jessica, remember?" he said quietly. "I didn't get to chase after her and convince her to come back."

Dean instantly regretted being so self-centered and made himself see the bright side of things. Lilly wasn't dead, after all. He could convince her to come back. He had to.

"Sorry, Sam," Dean said quietly.

Sam nodded curtly and headed out the door.

Reasoning with himself, Dean recognized that he really wasn't that bad off. They knew where the car was. They were going to get it back. They knew about where Lilly was, and that the car she was in wasn't exactly inconspicuous. They knew she was okay. Michael and Lucifer had been leaving them alone.

Stopping there, Dean realized Lilly was the only reason for that. They needed her back, fast.

Once in the car, Dean took charge of the maps, directing Sam to Tennessee in the fastest way possible. He listed off back roads and smaller highways that would have less traffic and fewer cops to pull them over for speeding.

"Dean?" Sam asked after about an hour. Dean looked up expectantly. "I know how to drive." Sam said.

Dean sputtered for a response for a moment, came up with nothing, and snapped, "Well, drive faster. I'm not getting any younger here."

Sam rolled his eyes and increased his speed, the rental car starting to whine as the speedometer reached seventy-five.

Dean glared hatefully at the dashboard, as if he could will it go faster.

"So, ah, I did some reading last night," Sam said, keeping his eyes on the road.

Dean chuckled. "What, buffing up on James Joyce?"

"What?" Sam asked. "What, no, how do you even know-"

"Never mind." Dean waved a hand. "Seriously, anything good?"

Sam shook his head. "Revelations," he said, frowning. "The Whore of Babylon was what, a week ago? Less?"

Dean nodded, musing.

"That's right in the middle of some crazy stuff. Way I see it, the whole Apocalypse thing shouldn't just drop off the map with the Whore of Babylon." Sam's face twisted with confusion. "I don't get it, man."

"So you think something big's coming."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Fantastic. Well, we'll keep an eye out." Dean said, turning back to the map.

Sam eyed him. "That's it?"

"Huh? Yeah, that's it. Take this exit." Dean said, motioning to his right. Sam turned onto the exit ramp and glanced at his brother.

"You can't ignore an Apocalypse, Dean," Sam said. Dean's eyes flicked up, and he spoke quietly.

"I am finding Lilly, and I am getting her back. Then, we can merrily go back to saving everyone else's world. Right now, I'm worried about saving mine."

Dean's voice had a hard edge, and he noted how Sam stopped himself from saying something when he mentioned saving Lilly. He couldn't believe that Sam thought Lilly didn't need saving, especially after Castiel- an angel of God- had told them she did. Not to mention a prophet telling them the same thing.

Settling back down into his seat, Dean glanced around at his surroundings, and the map situated over his legs.

"Sam, Dean," A voice from the backseat made both men jump.

"Hey, Cas," Sam said, glancing in the rearview mirror. Dean turned slightly to give the angel a smirk and a nod as a greeting.

Castiel fixed his gaze on Dean, and Dean found himself staring into bright blue eyes that looked impossibly angry.

"I see you do not have the dreamwalker with you."

"She has a name-" Dean began.

"Indeed she does," Castiel said, his voice hardening, "But maybe you need to be reminded of what she is. What with your frustrating and inconvenient habit of losing her on a regular basis, you seem to need a refresher course on her importance."

"Why do you all need her so much?" Sam asked, receiving a glare from Dean.

Castiel leveled his gaze, sighing. "She killed Conquest. She is now the only dreamwalker we know of with any talent. As it is, she can kill demons, Reapers, or even angels with little effort. And she has the capacity to do much more, if she could work at it."

Dean frowned. "She can kill angels?"

Castiel nodded. "In theory, yes."

Dean's frown deepened.

"On the other hand, if the demons get her, she's not invincible, not against all of them. There is a special… Special group, of demons, that is composed of the very powerful and… Uniquely talented. If this group takes her, things could go very badly."

"What do you mean; they'll torture her into doing what they want?" Dean asked. Castiel didn't reply. "No. She won't break, just like that."

Castiel looked up, his eyes boring a hole in Dean's head. "You did," the angel said, causing Dean to glare and old memories to flare up. "Anyway, they don't want her, specifically."

"What?" Dean questioned again.

"Never mind," Castiel said, waving a hand. "Just don't let it happen, and you'll never have to find out. I can guarantee you won't like it, Dean." He added.

"Well, we're on our way now to find her," Dean replied. The thoughts Castiel's comment had stirred up still swam around in his, unwilling to be banished back into his subconscious.

"Good. By the way, you might want to drive faster. Michael and Zachariah have realized she's not with you, and they're looking for you now."

Dean raised his eyebrows in alarm, panic stealing over his features. "What the hell-"

"This will help," Castiel said, putting a hand on both Sam and Dean. Dean felt a sharp pain before he relaxed again. "Don't let them find you," Castiel added. Then he was gone.

"Fantastic!" Dean shouted.

"Hey, look at that," Sam said. He pointed out the window, where Dean saw a sign welcoming them to Tennessee.

"Finally," Dean said, his nose almost pressed into the glass. "Shouldn't be too much longer," he said, quieter. They were so close to getting the Impala back. Once they had that, Dean knew he could catch Lilly.

( )

Some time later- two or three hours; Dean was so distracted he wasn't keeping track of the time- they arrived in Bartlett. Sam called the rental car company, telling them there was a federal emergency and they had to switch vehicles, leaving the rental in Bartlett. The receptionist who answered bought the lie quickly, and sounded concerned for their safety.

After Sam had reassured her several times that their lives weren't in danger, but that the car change was necessary, he hung up and gave Dean a frustrated look. Dean didn't pay attention, and was just eyeing the surrounding neighborhood. He didn't see the Impala, or a car shop, or a storage garage.

"Maybe Bobby got the wrong place," Dean said anxiously. Sam shook his head, returning to car from a gas station.

"Nope. There's a car shop not five minutes from here. Guy in there said it's the only one around."

Relief washed over Dean like a tidal wave, and he suddenly wanted to embrace Sam, and maybe do a little dance. Quickly the feeling passed, he regained his composure and dignity, and reminded himself why they needed the car back so badly, other than the simple fact that he wanted it.

"What are you waiting for?" Dean griped. Sam just rolled his eyes, and nudged the car out of the small parking lot.

Dean's face was pressed to the window as he searched for a car shop, or garage-like structure. He almost screamed and bounced when he saw the sign proclaiming Joe's Auto, and he saw the shiny gleam of the Impala around the corner.

Sam pulled into the lot, and Dean was out the door before the car even stopped moving. He raced to the car, touching the hood reverently. He ran a loving hand over it, checking it for scratches, dents, bumps, anything. There were none, and it even looked freshly washed and waxed.

"You must be Agent Stark," a man said from behind him. Dean turned and nodded, flashing the badge from his pocket out of habit, more than anything else. The man- Dean assumed he was Joe- chuckled lightly, and motioned with a rag to the Impala. "Lady who dropped it off said there was a mark on it, her partner would tear me a new one."

Dean beamed. Even in her anger, Lilly knew him well, and respected what she had to know he'd want. It didn't occur to him until much later that perhaps it was less in respect for him, and more for the car.

"Anyway, I enjoy lookin' after a classic like that every now and again. Nice car you got there, Agent." Joe said sincerely.

"Thanks," Dean replied, a hand still on the hood of the car.

"Well, she's all yours," Joe added, throwing in a smile. Sam moved over to Dean.

"Do we owe you anything?"

"Nope. Your partner already paid in cash."

"Awesome," Dean said, grinning at Sam. "Well, thanks for taking care of her," he said, motioning to the car.

"You're welcome," Joe said, still smiling a bit. "Guess you want that rental left here till someone picks it up."

"Please," Sam said. "If it's not too much trouble."

"Nope," the mechanic replied. "Have a nice day, agents." He touched the brim of his hat and disappeared back into his garage.

"Oh, baby," Dean said softly, running a hand again over the shiny black surface.

Sam had already climbed into the passenger seat, and Dean slowly slid behind the wheel. The keys were on the dash, and a note was taped to the steering wheel.

_Just try and catch up._

Dean recognized Lilly's handwriting, and grinned at her challenge, even though she probably meant it as an insult.

"Oh, I will, baby, trust me," he whispered.

"You say something?" Sam questioned.

"Nope," Dean replied, putting the key in the ignition and crumpling the note. "No, I did not."

He smiled again, genuinely, for the first time in days. The purr of the engine sang to him as he pulled out of the parking lot, giving a wave to Joe as he passed.

The Impala roared back to life when they hit the highway, and Dean floored the gas pedal, feeling the car vibrate and respond with a burst of speed, sending them flying south.

Dean thought cockily that a Caddy stood no chance of outpacing his Impala, especially with a driver like him behind the wheel. That thought at the front of his mind, he flipped on the radio, turned it up, and roared down the long, black highway.

( )

_Please review! Let me know what you think._


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty Nine

Dean smiled for most of his drive, enjoying the feel of being behind the wheel of a truly impressive vehicle once again. Sam dozed in the passenger seat, oblivious to Dean's blaring music and roaring engine.

At the southern edge of Tennessee, Dean turned the radio down. Sam looked quite soundly asleep, and Dean wanted him to stay that way. He actually wanted to think, and he didn't need Sam's input.

Clouds gathered thickly in every direction. It seemed that lately the weather had always been rainy, stormy, cloudy, or all three, with no end in sight. Dean figured it was another affect of the Apocalypse.

With a long stretch of straight and empty highway in front of him, Dean let his mind wander.

In his mind's eye, he saw Lilly hunting with them; watched her eyes and movements as she fought alongside them. He didn't see how, after watching her, he could have thought she wasn't on their side. Her eyes brightened with the thrill of the chase, just as his had, a long time ago. Hell and life, more than anything else, had taken that spark away. Lilly was just starting to bring it back.

He remembered the night in the motel in Cut Bank. The memory washed over him, and he was hit with image after image, all of it coursing through him like it never had before.

The heated skin of Lilly's hips under his hands.

The sighs and moans and quiet words as the night went on.

The soft, barely-there kiss when it ended.

Dean felt a small smile touch his lips, just at the thought of being with Lilly. He had to get her back. There was just no other option.

( )

"How can I help you, detectives?" The store clerk asked, after being shown Dean and Sam's badges. They had stopped at a gas station just on the southern side of Tennessee, in some no-name town in Mississippi. Dean had realized they needed a better direction than 'heading south'. On top of that, he was sick of I55, and almost hoped they could go somewhere else.

"Have you seen a Cadillac De Ville come this way?" Dean asked.

The clerk shook his head. "Nope, but Jim over there-" he indicated to another clerk working a different counter- "was telling me about one he saw the other day. Saw it on the interstate."

"Fantastic. Can we talk to him?" Dean said. The clerk nodded, and motioned for Jim to come over.

"What I can do for you?" Jim asked, giving them a smile. Dean didn't bother to return it.

"Your buddy says you saw a Cadillac De Ville the other day."

Jim nodded.

"Where was it going?"

"South."

Dean resisted the urge to throttle the man, and turned to Sam for help. Sam quickly jumped in.

"Can you describe the driver?" Sam asked, his tone decidedly more patient than Dean's had been.

Jim nodded again. "Pretty girl with dark hair. Looked mad as hell, too." Dean gave him a questioning look, and Jim continued to explain. "I saw her fly past me going about thirty over the limit, then I passed her again a few minutes later. Cop had pulled her over."

Dean almost laughed.

"Anything else?" Sam was asking.

"Nope," Jim drawled.

"Thanks."

Dean slid into the driver's seat, and glanced at Sam. "I'm sick of going south," he pouted. Sam just chuckled, and leaned back in his seat.

Dean grumbled something unintelligible, and then started up the car. He would stop at every gas station between here and the coast if he had to. If he knew anything about cars, he knew that Lilly couldn't go forever without stopping for gas, especially in what she was driving.

Four stops later, and only one person had seen Lilly- or rather, Lilly's car. She was still headed south.

At the next stop, Dean finally hit something.

"Yeah, she stopped in here yesterday." The man behind the counter said, nodding. "Asked for directions to- Where was it, Linda, Starkville? Yep, that's where she was headed." The man nodded again after Linda's conformation.

"And where is that, exactly?" Dean asked.

"Well, you just keep heading south on I55, and when you get to Winona head east on 82. Straight shot from there."

"Awesome. Thanks." Dean raced back out to the car, where Sam was dozing.

"Find anything?" Sam asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Dean nodded excitedly.

"She's only a day ahead of us now. And she's not headed south anymore."

Sam raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement, and then laid his head back down against the seat. Dean grinned like a kid in a candy store.

A few hours later, Dean yawned. He realized he hadn't slept in two days; he'd been so intent on keeping up with Lilly.

He saw the sign for Winona a few moments later, and decided they could afford to stop for the night. After all, they knew where Lilly was headed. She couldn't outrun them forever.

Dean shook Sam awake when he parked the car outside a motel, telling him to just leave the stuff; they'd head right back out in the morning. After much poking and prodding, Sam dragged himself out of the passenger seat and onto the motel room bed, where he crashed back down.

Still yawning heavily, Dean pushed off his leather jacket and flopped onto the other bed. He managed to pull his gun out and place it on the nightstand before he fell asleep.

( )

Dean woke up slowly, late the next morning. Sam was sitting on the opposite bed, cleaning guns.

"Morning," Sam said.

Dean grunted a reply and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "You gonna be ready to go soon?"

Sam nodded. "You really miss her, huh?"

"Yeah," Dean admitted. He thought Sam would have realized that by now. He'd only sped across three states to catch up her. Not many women had warranted that kind of attention.

"Sorry I doubted that," Sam said slowly, looking down.

Dean watched him for a minute suspiciously. "It's fine," he said finally, not wanting to get into a potentially woman-ish moment, especially when he was sure he was a day or two away from having one. Even though he was less than joyful, Dean knew it had to be done. He'd do anything to get Lilly back.

After Dean had showered and Sam had checked them out of the motel, they were back on the road.

The first three places they'd stopped at hadn't seen Lilly, or the car. Dean started to get discouraged. They were almost to Columbus, on the Alabama border, before he had a meltdown, and pulled off to the shoulder.

"Damn it!" He yelled, his head pounding. He resisted the urge to hit something, because the only things nearby were Sam and the Impala. "We're never going to find her like this. She could have headed north, or anywhere else, and we would never know. She's gone."

"Dean-" Sam's voice was sympathetic.

"No. I'm a stupid ass, and she's gone. All there is to it."

"Dean."

"I'm done looking, Sammy! She doesn't want us to find her."

"I have an idea." Sam sounded almost defeated that he was enabling Dean.

Dean glared. "What?"

"We have her cell phone number…" Sam said, trailing off. Dean shrugged.

"So? She probably changed it."

It was Sam's turn to shrug. "Last time I talked to her, it was the same. Couldn't hurt."

Dean nodded slowly. He hadn't really wanted to give up, but it had started to seem completely pointless.

In ten minutes, a David Peart had successfully located his wife's missing phone, where it had been left behind in some motel room- he and his wife couldn't seem to remember which one for the life of them- while road-tripping.

Dean snapped the phone shut, smiling once again. "If she's still got it, she's in Kennesaw, Georgia."

"See?" Sam said. "Come on. With your lead foot, we'll be there in no time."

( )

To Dean's surprise, the first gas station they stopped at in Georgia had seen Lilly. Further, she was still driving the Cadillac. The gossiping women, who tried in vain to catch Dean's attention, despite his oblivion to what they were doing, said she'd headed east after stopping.

The next few places- a gas station, a diner, even a general store, had no clue what they were talking about. They hadn't seen Lilly, or the car, and seemed miffed that anyone even asked.

"What in the hell you wanna know for, boy?" the general store owner demanded. Dean flashed a badge, and the man grunted.

Unsure of what else to do, Dean drove north, toward Kennesaw. He stopped often, asking pointed questions, too tired of doing so to even introduce himself before asking. There was no trace of Lilly, and the car seemed long gone.

Finally, he just started driving north, determined to get to Kennesaw quickly without stopping anymore. Sam was studying a map, trying to direct him through traffic. He was all set to drive straight through, when the Impala's fuel gauge hit a notch away from empty. For the times he'd stopped, he hadn't filled it up once.

"Damn it," he cursed quietly.

Sam glanced up. "There should be a gas station up on your left," he offered, noticing the fuel gauge.

Dean nodded, saw it, and pulled in. Noting it was pre-pay only, he grabbed his wallet and headed inside.

There was a dark-haired teenage boy sitting behind the counter. He nodded at Dean, then glanced back to his magazine before setting it down on the counter and looking at Dean expectantly.

"Fill it up on pump three," Dean said, grabbing a candy bar for himself and Sam.

The teenager glanced out the window, and whistled. "Nice," he said. Dean just nodded. "There some kinda car show around here?" the kid asked.

Dean looked up. "Come again?"

"This is the second cherry car I've seen today. We don't usually see too many, so I was just askin'."

"What'd the first one look like?" Dean asked quickly, suddenly alert.

The boy's eyes brightened. "A real nice Caddy. Kind of a seafoam color, you know, with a black ragtop. Beautiful car."

Dean's hopes lifted. "Did you see the driver?" he asked desperately.

"Sure did," the boy said, blushing a bit. "She was- I mean, wow. She was damn good looking."

Dean resisted a grin.

"She came in asking for directions. Said she'd come from Marietta, and wanted to head to Richmond Hill."

"And how do you get there exactly?"

The boy eyed him suspiciously. "Why you asking?"

Dean threw his hands up. "Does it matter? Tell me how the hell to get there."

The boy's hands rose defensively. "Alright, chill out. Go southeast on 75, then turn on I16, then south on 95 for a little ways. Should be right there."

"Thanks," Dean said. He tossed some money on the counter and raced out to the car.

"Richmond Hill." Dean announced triumphantly once he'd filled the car. Sam looked at him questioningly. "That's where Lilly is going. We're catching up." Dean sounded almost excited.

"Great," Sam said with little emotion.

Dean sped away from the pump, and headed to I75. He turned the radio up loud, singing along with Led Zeppelin and Motorhead and Jamie Dunlap, until one song in particular came on. He hadn't expected to hear it, and frowned in thought.

"Hey, Sam, check if I have this cassette," he said. An old idea was resurfacing.

Sam dug through the box he kept, and pulled it out. "Yep. Not sure why, but you do."

"Good. Put it in the glove box."

Sam frowned, puzzling over what Dean was thinking. A smile crept across Dean's face as he sang the lyrics dramatically. It'd be perfect.

( )

Pulling into Richmond Hill several hours later, Dean immediately stopped and asked around town. From what he could gather, Lilly was still here.

"Okay, you check us in, and I'm gonna drive around." Dean barked at Sam, dropping him at a motel. It was late afternoon, but the motel looked mostly deserted.

Dean pulled back onto the road. Richmond Hill looked like a beach town, and Dean glanced at shops and restaurants he passed, looking for any sign of Lilly. He stopped in several, but no one had seen her.

After an hour or two of asking and not finding, he headed back in the direction of the motel. Watching the sunset as he pulled up at a light, he put a hand on his face and groaned. He flicked the radio on, to find nothing playing. When he turned it off, he still heard noise, and flicked it again, thinking it was feedback.

There was no mistaking the guitar solo in Working Man, and Dean heard it loud and clear. He turned to the other lane, and his jaw dropped.

For a moment, he was in such awe of the seafoam blue car he saw, that he failed to notice that the driver was an attractive woman, with long dark hair and green eyes, and that she was staring at him with the same slack-jawed expression.

( )

_Sorry it's taken so long! I've had a crazy hectic schedule lately, and it looks like that might continue, so expect updates to be less frequent. That said, I'm not giving up! I have a plan and I'm sticking to it. Please review!_


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter Forty

Dean saw Lilly curse and stomp the accelerator as soon as the light turned green. It took him a moment to react, and then he took off after her. The streets were fairly empty, but he kept an eye out for cops. It would be his luck that he'd get pulled over, and she'd be out of town for good.

Lilly suddenly took a sharp left, and Dean fishtailed behind. He could faintly hear the roar of the Cadillac's engine over the Impala's. He didn't worry about keeping up with her, but passing her might be difficult. Houses flew past, spreading out the farther they went. Without warning, Lilly slammed on the brakes, and Dean swerved around her to avoid hitting her. He saw her wicked grin in the rearview mirror. She threw the car in reverse and took the right turn she'd just passed up.

Dean spun the car as fast as he could, and was close behind her again in seconds. Houses were few and far between, and trees were more frequent. The road was getting rockier and older as well.

The Cadillac bounced violently, and Dean found himself bouncing as well as he hit a gravel road. He smirked triumphantly; there wouldn't be any more turnoffs.

Lilly seemed to realize that, and sped up. Dean followed suit.

He chased her for maybe ten minutes before he saw the road end up ahead. Lilly slammed the car into reverse and tried to spin around him, but Dean stopped and blocked her. He knew she wouldn't hit the Impala.

She glared at him hatefully from the window. He waved cordially, and her glare intensified.

He started to step out of the car, and held his hands up innocently when he saw her hand reach across the seat. Knowing her, there was a gun, or a knife, or both.

Lilly watched him suspiciously for a moment, then stepped out as well.

"Hey, princess," Dean said, unable to keep the smirk off his face. Lilly raised her chin a bit and continued glaring.

"You're a dick," she said flatly. Dean's smirk crumpled.

"I know," he replied, hanging his head. "Lilly, I'm so-"

"Sorry?" She mocked. "You looked incredibly sorry with your hand up that slut's skirt."

"I was drunk, and I'm an ass, and stupid-"

Lilly crossed her arms. "You think I don't know that by now?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean huffed. He crossed his arms as well.

Lilly snorted and rolled her eyes. "I only spent six months in love with you, knowing you saved my life but that I could never really thank you for it because you wouldn't speak to me. After that, I read some prophecy that gets my damn hopes up, only to almost die for you because I love you that damn much, and still you act as if it doesn't matter. Then, finally, you feed me this line of crap about how I mean so much to you, you've never felt like this, blah, blah, blah, and I actually believe you. So the best week of my life really ends up being a big lie, as proved by your infatuation with skanks in bars." Her voice trembled, but her eyes stayed hard. She looked a little more scared and hurt, and a little less angry.

Dean was floored. "You thought… You thought I lied to you?"

"How can I possibly think anything else?"

"Because I was drunk-"

"I don't care!" Lilly shouted. "One minute, you're telling me you love me and that you're happy and then five minutes later you have your tongue down that whore's throat!" This time her voice broke, and she angrily scrubbed at her eyes, refusing to let Dean see her tears.

"I do love you," Dean said uselessly, staring at the ground. There it went- the best thing he'd had. He should have known he'd mess up somehow.

"How can you say that?" Lilly asked accusingly. "You hate what I am." He looked up to meet her eyes, and he could tell she believed it.

He took a step forward, only to have her step back. "Listen to me," he begged. "I don't hate you. At all. Yes, you scare the hell out of me and I used to worry about having to kill you, but I trust you. I trust you when you say you're on my side. And believe me, princess, there aren't many people I say that to."

Lilly looked down, refusing to meet his eyes. He thought he saw a tear run down her cheek, and then watched as she looked past him, to the west. The sun was just dipping down below the horizon, and the sky was a mix of pinks and oranges and golds. Her green eyes lit up briefly with the fire of the sunset.

Dean turned to watch as well, seeing the sun drop slowly, and the sky darken to blue and purple, with a faint green just over distant mountains. He looked back to Lilly, and saw the fire gone.

"Please," Dean begged. He didn't need to say what he was asking for. Lilly glared at him. "Please," he whispered again. _Please, God, let her listen._ Dean didn't pray. But in that moment, he was begging God, or an angel, or something to not let her slip away.

A raindrop landed lightly on his cheek as he glanced upward, hoping to see some kind of sign, or better beseech help. All he saw were stars peeking out from behind clouds.

Lilly was still glaring stubbornly at the ground, her shirt spattered with rain. Dean heard a clap of thunder, and glanced back at Lilly. The rain fell harder.

"Come on," he said, reaching out to grab her arm. She snatched it away just as his fingers brushed against her, glaring at him. Reluctantly, as the rain began fall in sheets, she rushed into the open door of the Impala.

Dean swung into the driver's seat a moment later and shook the water from his hair. Lilly was in the passenger seat, watching him with an almost scientific curiosity, making no effort to shake out her hair or brush the water from her face.

"Lilly…" Dean began, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I am so damn sorry."

"It's not even what you did," Lilly said. Dean looked at her questioningly. "It's that you said you loved me, said you didn't want to be with anyone else, and let me believe you meant it."

"I do mean it." Dean protested. Lilly opened her mouth to argue, but Dean cut her off. "I drove halfway across the country for you! I dropped the job, dropped the freakin' Apocalypse, just to come find you."

"Dean…" Lilly said, her voice trembling again. "You don't get it. I've seen how you are. I know you get drunk and sleep with anything that walks. I know you get mad and that's how you blow off steam, and I think I know you well enough to say that you don't like the idea of any kind of attachment." She looked at him, waiting for a reply.

Reluctantly, Dean nodded.

"I thought that just the night in Cut Bank and knowing you didn't hate me would be enough…" Tears fell to her cheeks, and she hitched a breath. "But it's not, it's not good enough, because I can't feel like this about you any longer and watch you go off with someone else when you want to and then come back to me when it's convenient… I can't do it." She turned her face to the window, wiping the tears harshly from her face.

"That was a one-time mistake," Dean said, trying to catch her eye. "I'll admit you're right about the attachment thing. I've never been with anyone very long, and I liked it that way. But believe me, it's not because I didn't want it sometimes. I looked at what my mom and dad had before they died, and Sam had with Jess, and what every other damn person on the planet has. And I thought maybe someday I could be done with hunting, and I could have that. But no, instead I went to hell. Then I got pulled back up to fight a war I don't want to fight. On top of all that, anyone I care about seems to die or get hurt. Look at what happened to you."

Lilly turned back towards him, finally listening. Dean continued.

"So I gave up on ever having a family or a normal life, and I guess I was okay with it. Yeah, I drank and fought and was reckless as hell, but I got over it. Then I met you, and I realized I wasn't over that idea, but I still couldn't do a damn thing about it because it would get you killed. And it almost did."

Dean exhaled heavily when he finished talking. Lilly's eyes hadn't changed.

"I believe you," she said cautiously.

Dean almost shook with relief.

"But you're right. Look at us. You're the vessel of an angel, and I'm a dreamwalker. Not exactly a match made in heaven." She raised her eyebrows. "And I know what goes through your mind." She gave him a look, and he knew what she meant. "I can't be what you want. You're trying to be happy and get away from your past, and I don't blame you. But I can't just be whatever you need when you need it."

Her eyes flashed angrily.

"I can't just keep on having my heart broken because you can't make up your mind, or don't want to. I can't sit here in love with you, while you think need me when you don't."

_Damn it,_ Dean thought. "Lilly, wait-"

"I don't have time for this," she said, opening the door to the pouring rain. "You like the idea of this, but you're scared of what will happen if you stay with me."

Dean cursed again. She was right, and she knew it. He loved her, and was at the same time terrified of being with her, both from fear of letting someone in, and of getting Lilly killed.

He listened to the Impala's door slam, muffling the sound of the rain. He knew he had about ten seconds to make a choice that he couldn't ever take back.

He vaguely heard Lilly moving toward the other car, and he'd made his choice.

As quickly as possible, he fumbled with the radio, then dashed out into the storm. A clap of thunder sounded in the distance, but he ignored it, opening the trunk.

"Wait," he called to Lilly. She stopped, but didn't turn around.

The acoustic guitar could barely be heard over the rain, but he didn't care.

"Will you listen to me?" Dean pleaded. Lilly turned around, rain soaking through her clothes. She looked behind him at the car, frowning, placing the song.

_"Walk away, if you want to_

_ It's okay, if you need to_

_ You can run…"_

Dean gave her a small smile. "You can't tell me you don't like this song," he said. When she tried to shake her head, he added, "You're not the only one who can catch onto things."

The corners of her mouth lifted just a bit.

"Lilly, I love you." Dean said earnestly.

_"Whatever you do, I'll be two steps behind you_

_ Wherever you go, I'll be there to remind you_

_ That it only takes a minute of your precious time-"_

Lilly didn't say anything, just watched him.

"I know you probably don't believe me, and that's fine. I probably don't deserve it. I can't promise I'll never screw up again but I can promise it won't be like that. I meant it when I said I only want you." He let that sink in, watching her face change from angry to hurt.

"Please, just… I don't want to do any of this-" he gestured around himself- "without you."

Lilly crossed her arms, her eyes looking a bit teary again.

Dean sighed. Now or never. "I will do anything to convince you I meant that. I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life doing it."

He pulled the small box out of his pocket, stepping forward as he did so. "Sorry, but this is the best I can think of to do that. Well, it's a start."

Dean felt the drenched ground beneath his knee, and looked up at Lilly, praying again that she'd listen. He took another deep breath, and opened the small box.

"Marry me."

Lilly's eyes widened. Dean shook a little bit, from cold and fear. He hadn't really considered the possibility of her saying no, until he was down on one knee.

_A little late for that,_ he though grudgingly.

"Marry me," he repeated, putting all the feeling he could muster into it. Lilly's expression was working with some emotion, and her arms shook.

Dean couldn't tell if there were tears running down her face or if it was the rain, but her hands still shook as she nodded, pulled him up, and pressed her lips to his.

( )

_Sorry it's taking so long! I really am trying, but with a crazy schedule… Again, sorry. I haven't given up. Hope you enjoy it! Please review._


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter Forty One

Dean wrapped his arms around Lilly, pulling her closer, running his hands through her hair. Part of him was reeling from the fact that she'd said yes, that he'd really asked her that… And that he didn't regret it at all.

Rain hit his back, and he felt goosebumps on Lilly's skin, though she didn't seem to notice. Reluctantly, he pulled away. The anger was gone from her face, and there was only some raw emotion in its place- and based on the way her hands found their way inside his jacket, he doubted it was anything bad.

The fierce passion in her eyes deepened when he took her hand, and slipped the ring that had been Mary Winchester's onto her finger. She kissed him again, slower this time, but still with a heavy energy, partly from the storm and partly from the rush of what had just happened.

Dean pulled the other ring out of the box, picturing his father wearing it for a moment before putting it on himself. He felt something he hadn't felt in a long time; some kind of security, or something like that. He didn't even know what it was.

Lilly slid her arms around his neck, planting a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"I love you, too," she said softly. Dean pushed her hair back from her face, his hands pulling her lips to his again.

Somehow, they ended up pressed against the Impala, ignoring the rain pouring over them. All that mattered were the fervent kisses and Lilly's hands already pushing his leather jacket from his shoulders. Dean slid a hand down her back, and then fumbled for the door handle. The rain was drenching him, and the February wind was making him shiver, but he didn't care. Lilly's lips and neck were warm and soft, and her body molded to his made the cold irrelevant.

The second he managed to pull the door open, Dean pushed them back into the seat, sitting up to pull the door closed behind him. From the front seat, the cassette was still playing, to a song he knew but didn't feel like identifying.

Lilly was lying back against the seat, her elbows propping her up. She wore a slight smile, more in her eyes than on her lips. She'd crossed her legs delicately, and Dean smirked as he slid a hand between them, then moved down to kiss her again. She was reaching up to meet his lips, only to be pushed back down, with one of Dean's hands cushioning the back of her head, tangling in her hair.

Dean moved his lips from hers, grazing down across her neck and throat. Lilly's breath quickened, and her hand found the back of his neck, guiding him up for another kiss. Without breaking it, Lilly trailed her hands over his stomach, found the button of his shirt, and undid all of them one at a time. When the last button was open, she pushed the shirt over his shoulders and pulled it from his back, throwing it on the floor. Dean took the opportunity to seize her hands and grin.

"My turn," he whispered into her ear.

With a patience he didn't think he had, he slipped his hand under the bottom of Lilly's shirt, caressing her skin underneath. She tried to pull the shirt off, but Dean pinned her hands and smirked. The hot agony in her eyes that had nothing to do with pain made his hand shake for a moment.

Slowly, he pushed the shirt up, exposing more and more of her stomach. He kissed the scar that barely showed above her jeans, and she made no move to stop him. Fueled by her seemingly new indifference to it, he hooked a finger in the waistband of her jeans, revealing a bit more of her scarred hip. Glancing up quickly to give Lilly a teasing look, Dean ran his fingertips over the scar, and then touched his lips to it lightly. Her hips twisted ever so slightly, and he heard her breath catch. He smiled against her skin, teasing her by nipping gently at the lighter skin, still puckered from scarring. Lilly stroked his face with one hand, urging him towards her again.

"Why do you have to be so good at this?" she breathed absently, pausing to kiss his neck. Dean ran a hand through her still-damp hair, and shrugged.

"Practice," he mumbled, and Lilly swatted his arm. He simply grinned and kissed her stomach again. After thoroughly caressing her abdomen with his hands and lips, he pushed the wet shirt from her, casting it onto the floor.

Outside the storm raged further, thunder cracking and lightning lighting up the sky ever so often. The sound of the rain driving on the roof of the car was a perfect backdrop for the heated passion inside, and Dean forced himself to slow down. He and Lilly moved in time, kissing and touching and never faltering.

Suddenly Lilly stopped, her hand on his chest. Dean glanced down, and saw why.

"What's this?" she asked softly, tracing the scar of her new initials that sat under his tattoo. The scab was fading, and was being replaced by white, knotted scar tissue.

Dean paused before replying. "Someone told me I'd need it." He said quietly, watching her trace the letters with a fingertip.

Lilly's jade green eyes peered up at him from behind dark lashes. "I guess you really are serious about this, then," she said.

Dean nodded.

"I'm not letting you back out of this. This is your last chance."

For a split second, Dean let himself think of what he'd be giving up. No more one-night stands, no more flirting in bars, no more quickies in the backseat at the end of a hunt.

He didn't care one bit.

In answer, he kissed Lilly again, toying with her lips, sliding one bra strap over her shoulder with his thumb. She returned the kiss, running her hands over his back.

Dean was acutely aware of everything around him, and he knew that this was different than any other time, with any other woman. He couldn't quite figure out why; he was doing the same things he always did. It shouldn't be any different.

Then Lilly looked up at him, the fire he'd found so enticing bright in her eyes, and he knew.

It was different because in a year, two, three, he would still remember.

Lilly would still be one of the few things he cared about.

Maybe the only thing he really loved.

He forced his mind to refocus, glancing at Lilly. She was watching, smiling.

"That's an awfully pensive look for a Winchester," she said. "I don't think even Sam thinks that hard."

Dean shook his head to clear his mind. "Sorry," he said softly, kissing her jaw. Lilly sighed.

The storm outside faded to a low thundering from what could be heard inside the car. Dean ran his hands up and down Lilly's stomach, her legs, and her hair, slowing peeling off damp clothing. Her movements were so sure to begin with, but then her hands trembled when she reached for his belt buckle.

He met her eyes, hoping she wouldn't relive her fears from their first night together. After seeing her expression, it clicked- love hadn't often been a part of her previous relationships, or his. It was like the first time all over again, but more meaningful.

A smile twitched on her lips, and he traced his fingers along her face, capturing her lips with his. Slowly, she pushed his jeans from his hips, kissing his neck and chest. A sigh escaped him, and he pulled her face to his.

The kiss deepened when they came together, and Dean clenched his hands as Lilly dug her nails lightly into his back.

"You're killing me, woman," he said huskily, trying not to focus too much on the heated kisses Lilly was placing on neck and shoulders.

Lilly glanced at him and smiled. "I try,"

Dean grinned. "My turn," he said. He kissed her neck aggressively, moving lower slowly. Lilly moaned, her hand at the nape of his neck encouraging him on. His hands roamed her hips and thighs, until she forced him back up to her lips.

Night fell around them, the storm calming to steady rain, and the sky still blacked out by clouds.

Dean trembled with anticipation, pulling Lilly closer. Her fingers closed around his momentarily, then she rested her hand on the back of his neck, caressing lightly. Despite the fact that he hadn't touched a drink all day, Dean's head swam, and he felt as if he were suffering from mental tunnel vision- the radio didn't matter. The storm didn't matter. The fact that Sam was probably looking for him didn't matter.

For now, all that mattered to Dean was Lilly, and her body pressed close against every part of his. She let out a small moan as his hands reached her hips, and he shivered when she cried out his name. He struggled for a breath as she pushed her hips against his, forcing his length deeper. Slowly, he felt the pressure building, and he could tell she did as well. With a feeling of wonderful agony, he slowed their motion, cupped her face in his hands, and barely pressed his lips to hers.

It was sweet release for both of them, and they shook with the pleasure of it. Lilly ran her hands over his face, his back, his chest, her breathing heavy. Dean stroked his fingers across her cheek, and rested his forehead on her chest. He could hear and feel her heart beating, its rhythm quick.

"I love you," Dean said softly, his head still down.

"I know," Lilly breathed. "You don't have to keep saying it."

Dean glanced up, and saw a slight grin on her face. "But I love you, too," she added.

Dean just smiled weakly, and rested his head back down.

"Something wrong?" Lilly asked, stroking her fingers through his hair. Dean shook his head. Lilly didn't say anything else.

"Actually, yeah," Dean said suddenly. He didn't know what brought on the sudden confession, but the thought had flashed through his mind.

Lilly's hand stilled, and she looked at him as he sat up.

"I need help," Dean said simply. Lilly nodded. "I'm messed up, I've screwed up, and neither of those are going to change anytime soon. I just… I just want to tell you deserve better. And that this isn't going to be easy."

Lilly watched him, her eyes not giving anything away. Then her lips curved upward in a half-smile. "I know" was all she said.

Dean didn't get it. Lilly noticed.

"Trust me, Dean-" she began, touching a finger to her temple, then pointing it at him, "I know." Her hand came to rest on his cheek. "None of that matters. You're stronger than you think, and you can get through this. And I'll be right here, always."

Dean placed a hand over hers. "Even if it means fighting a war? Stopping the damn Apocalypse?"

Lilly grinned. "You got it."

"You're something else, you know that?" Dean said. "I tell you we only have to save the world, and do it fast, and you just laugh."

Lilly leaned towards Dean, kissing him. "We can worry about that in the morning. Tonight, it's just you and me."

Dean smiled and kissed her back. "Sounds good to me."

( )

_Thanks for all the great reviews! Sorry I can't reply to all of them. Hope you enjoy!_


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter Forty Two

Dean drove the Impala back to the motel the next morning, a smile plastered on his face. Lilly was behind him in the Cadillac, and even though she drove too close to his bumper and honked at him if he dropped below the speed limit, he couldn't stop grinning. He wanted to tell somebody, anybody, but couldn't even put words to what he felt.

_What am I going to tell Sam? _The thought hit him hard, but still he didn't care. He could worry about Sam's reaction later.

"Congratulations, Dean," Castiel said from the passenger seat. Dean's hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"You know how much I hate that!"

Castiel smirked. "I think I can get away with it today. You seem… Enthusiastic."

Dean gaped at the angel. "Hell, Cas, if you just asked the woman you love to marry you, and then spent the night of your life with her, I'd say you would be pretty damn enthusiastic."

"Fair enough." Castiel nodded. "I just thought you should know that we all approve."

"We?" Dean echoed. Castiel looked at him blankly.

"Heaven. My brothers and I, we support your decision."

Dean stared at the angel for a moment. "Great." He finally said. Castiel nodded.

"As always, Dean, be careful. There is still a war." Then he was gone.

Shaking his head, Dean refocused on the road.

Castiel was right; he still had a war to fight. One more Horseman.

Then the Devil.

No problem.

They pulled into the parking lot of the motel where Dean and Sam were staying, and both hopped out of the cars. Side by side, the two cars complemented each other.

Dean moved towards Lilly. "Hey, nothing personal…" She raised her eyebrows and stuck her hands in the pockets of her jeans. "I think I should talk to Sam first." Dean finished.

Lilly nodded. "I understand," she said, "I'll wait."

Dean gave her a quick smile, and then headed into his and Sam's room. Sam jumped up from the bed when he entered.

"Where the hell have you been?" Sam demanded. Dean held up his hands, about to explain.

"I can-"

"Dean, I called you about twenty times. I thought you might have died." Sam said, glaring.

Dean frowned. "I didn't hear my phone…" He pulled it from his pocket to investigate- _17 missed calls from Sam._ "Oh."

Sam rolled his eyes. "What's your excuse? Drunk? Hooker? Jail? What?"

"Nope." Dean smirked. "Marriage. Then hot, backseat sex after."

Sam's jaw dropped.

Dean waited for a further reaction.

"You've got to be joking," Sam finally sputtered. Dean shook his head. "You- you found her?"

Dean nodded.

"And you asked her to marry you?"

Dean nodded again.

"And she said _yes_?"

"Hey, now, that's unnecessary."

Sam began pacing. "Dean…"

"Before you preach at me," Dean snapped, "I'm not using it to get her back. I'm going to take it seriously. I'm going to make it work. There are plenty of things I have no respect for; this isn't one of them. I would never have asked if I didn't mean to stick with it." He crossed his arms.

Sam nodded slowly. "Okay." He said simply.

"We're good?" Dean asked. He saw an ounce of pain flicker in his brother's eyes, but it was pushed down.

"Yeah, we're good." Sam said. "I'm happy for you." Dean could tell he meant it. He smirked. "Don't make her sit out in the cold. That's not a good start."

Dean went back outside, and grabbed Lilly's duffel bag from the trunk of the Cadillac. She was sitting in the driver's seat with the door open, apparently oblivious to the cold.

"We're good?" She asked, looking up at Dean.

"Yep," Dean said. She gave him a small smile that he returned.

Once inside, Lilly hugged Sam fiercely. Dean heard him say softly, "Congratulations, Lil," and then he broke the embrace.

Lilly looked expectantly between the two.

"So, what are we killing today?"

Both grinned.

"Good to have you back," Sam said. Dean nodded. Sam continued. "Well, I've found a whole lot of nothing as far as anything to work on. I can only find minor things that might be spirits, or that might be raccoons."

Dean let out a bark of laughter; Lilly gave them a confused look.

Sam grimaced. "Don't ask."

Lilly shrugged. "Nothing? At all?"

"Nope."

"Well, then, you're not looking hard enough." Lilly sat down in front of Sam's computer and began typing rapidly. She glanced up at Sam and Dean, who were still staring dumbly down at her. "What? Do something productive. Come on, get to it!"

They obeyed- Sam grabbed a book of omens, and Dean grabbed a newspaper. They read in silence for a few moments, until Lilly sucked in a breath.

"What?" Sam asked.

"A man dropped dead on the sidewalk in Chicago. No obvious cause of death, and no wounds. It had happened a week before to a woman jogging, but reports wrote that off to overexertion."

Dean exchanged a glance with Sam. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

Sam nodded.

"Looks like we've got another Horseman to kill."

Lilly frowned. "You think it's Death?"

Dean nodded; Sam motioned to the book he'd been searching through. "It's time for something else to happen. Past time, actually."

Lilly nodded. "Well, let's go. Chicago pizza sounds good anyway." She added, grinning.

Dean grabbed the keys while Sam gathered up his belongings.

"What about the Caddy?" Dean asked. Lilly frowned.

"I'll drive it to Memphis. I can leave in a garage there," she responded. Dean was slightly disappointed she wouldn't be with him, but he shrugged it off.

"Okay. If you get ticketed for speeding, we'll point and laugh," he said, grinning.

Lilly pretended to punch his arm. "I don't get ticketed."

Dean leaned in and kissed her gently. "See you in Tennessee."

"Bye," Lilly said, giving him a bright smile. She half-hugged Sam. "Don't let him pick on you."

"I never pick on him!" Dean exclaimed. Lilly snorted and rolled her eyes as she walked out the door. A moment later, he heard the roar of the engine as the Cadillac pulled out of the lot.

"Alright, saddle up, Sammy," Dean said, heading for the door. Sam nodded, and they strode outside to the Impala. The sun was shining brightly, in defiance to the storm the night before. Dean slid into the driver's seat, and then leaned over to dig in the glove compartment. He came out with a pair of sunglasses.

Sam tossed his duffel in the backseat, then took shotgun. Dean flipped on the radio, scanning until he found something he liked. Joe Perry had nothing on his steering wheel air-guitar solo.

They drove almost completely in silence, except for the radio. Dean grinned the whole way; Sam was content to leave it alone. Finally, late in the afternoon, Lilly called to say that the garage where she was leaving the Cadillac was close, and that she'd meet them at the bar up the road.

Dean parked at the bar and sauntered in, Sam close behind. The ring on Dean's finger still felt foreign, but he didn't mind it. When Lilly walked in, her dark hair falling over her shoulders, he didn't mind one bit.

"Hey," he said, putting an arm around her shoulders and kissing her forehead. Sam glanced at them, but said nothing. "Three beers," Dean called to the bartender.

Three beers slid down the counter, and Sam held his up. He still didn't say anything, but glanced between Dean and Lilly. They both smiled and raised their glasses.

"I really am happy for you," Sam said. Dean clapped him on the back.

"Get used to it, Sammy," Dean winked. Sam rolled his eyes. Lilly grinned at Sam, and then snatched Dean's collar and pulled him forward to kiss her. He smiled through the kiss, aware that Sam had turned away and was awkwardly scratching his neck.

After drinking and talking for a few hours, Dean headed to the pool table. He and Sam won several games, while Lilly laughed at the outrage of the other men. Before too long, she joined a poker game, and lost several times before finally winning.

Dean had several more beers as well as a few shots of whiskey, and was beginning to feel lightheaded. He and Lilly danced to the songs playing loudly from the jukebox, and the smile never left his face.

Finally, he plopped down next to Sam.

"You should go get us some rooms," Dean slurred, pointing in the direction he'd seen the motel.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "That's probably a good idea."

"Take the car," Dean handed over his keys. "I can walk."

"Be careful," Sam said. He passed Lilly on his way out, and told her what Dean had said.

Lilly moved towards Dean, and dragged him back to his feet. She pulled him to an open space on the floor, and intertwined her fingers behind his neck.

Managing to speak soberly, Dean looked down at her. "I love you. I mean it."

Lilly smiled. "I love you, too," she said, putting her head against his shoulder.

The music changed to a faster song, and Lilly grinned. Dean returned it, and spun her around, laughing as they danced.

( )

_Soooo sorry it's been so long! I'm trying to catch back up. I am going somewhere with this chapter, even though it's short. We're getting back to the main plotline very soon._


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter Forty Three

Dean woke up tangled in his sheets in the hotel room. His head pounded. After briefly trying to sit back up, he flopped back down, curling away from the light streaming through the curtains. He huddled under the sheets, holding his head in his hands.

_Too much…_ He groaned to himself.

Vaguely, he remembered dancing with Lilly. He remembered sitting at the bar with her, ordering tequila shots, and kissing her. A lot.

The image of Lilly sitting his lap, her arms around his neck, was the most clear. The rest of the night was just a blur of shapes and sensations.

He figured they had stayed at the bar for another hour or two after Sam had left. Dean didn't remember going back to the hotel at all, but he figured he managed to get there.

He peeked across the room; Sam was still in a lump on the other bed. Since he adjusted to the light, Dean rolled over, expecting to see Lilly lying next to him.

She wasn't there.

Dean sat up, slowly this time, and glanced around the room. He didn't see any sign of Lilly, except for her gun laying on the nightstand.

Dean felt a twinge of worry in his stomach, but he ignored it and padded quietly across the room.

Sam didn't wake up when Dean walked past. Dean shuffled out the door, most of his hangover gone already.

The Impala sat parked in front of their room, looking just the same as the night before. He still didn't see Lilly.

Frowning, Dean went back inside. He slipped his shoes on, and grabbed his cell phone. He left a quick note for Sam that he'd be back soon.

The worry in his stomach rose as Dean walked back to the bar. He reached it in just a few minutes, but it felt too long.

To his surprise, the door swung open, and Dean saw a young man mopping floors.

"Sorry, buddy, we're not open yet," the man said, barely glancing up.

"No, I don't want a drink," Dean said. "I just wanna know if you saw somebody last night."

A though occurred to him. "Were you here last night?"

The man nodded. "Yeah, I was here. I saw plenty of somebodys last night."

"I was with a girl," Dean began. The man raised his eyebrows. "She had long, dark hair, green eyes, about this tall-?" Dean held his hand to a little about his shoulder.

"Oh, I remember you," the man said, chuckling. "You can sure hold your liquor, man."

"Whatever," Dean said, "did you see the girl?"

"Nope." The guy said. "You were pretty much on your own most of the night."

"What?" Dean sputtered. "How the hell- I sat at that stool with her on my lap half the time!" He pointed to the general direction of where he'd been. Or thought he had been.

The man shook his head. "Look, mister, you were pretty smashed. You talked to a few blondes, but I didn't see you with any of them." He emphasized 'with'.

"Damn it," Dean muttered under his breath. He turned and walked back out.

He was beginning to put together what happened. He'd been drunk. Again. Maybe he'd kissed one of the blondes the guy had talked about, and Lilly had taken off. She could have taken the Cadillac and been long gone before he even knew it.

"Damn it!" He exclaimed. He pulled out his cell phone, and dialed Lilly's number.

It didn't even ring. _"We're sorry," _an automated voice told him, _"but the number you are trying to reach is invalid. Please try again, or call our operator-"_

Dean snapped the phone shut. That was weird. Last time, her number had either gone straight to voicemail or rang seventeen hundred times before shutting off. It had never been disconnected.

Mentally, Dean lectured himself as he headed back to the motel room. He made stupid resolution he knew he'd never keep. No more getting drunk in bars. No more taking Lilly to bars. No more bars.

"Just damn it," Dean snarled as he shut the door behind him, not caring that it slammed.

Sam grunted and sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What?" He grumbled.

"Where the hell is Lilly? She's back for two days and then I screw it all to hell again. I don't know where she is."

"What are you talking about?" Sam mumbled.

Dean shot him a look. "I'm talking about being at the bar last night, and something obviously happened, because Lilly's gone."

Sam's next words stopped Dean cold. "Who's Lilly?"

( )

"What?" Dean didn't even process the question.

"Who's Lilly?" Sam repeated.

"Sam." Dean said. "Lilly. The girl that's been on the road with us for months now? The one you convinced me to take with us? The one I asked to marry me two nights ago?"

Sam's jaw dropped. "How much did you drink last night?"

"A lot, but that's not the point. Lilly's gone. Quit acting like a jackass and help me find her."

"Dean, calm down. You didn't come home with anybody last night, and when I left the bar, you were by yourself."  
"Stop it, Sam!" Dean shouted. "How could you just forget about Lilly? You were practically in love with her!"

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked again, his tone defensive.

Dean picked up the gun off the nightstand. "This is her gun." He opened his phone and showed Sam the recent calls. "This is her phone number." Finally, he jabbed a finger at the ring on his left hand. "This was Dad's wedding ring. I found it in a storage room of Dad's in Kalispell. Lilly has Mom's."

"Dean, are you crazy? Where the hell is Kalispell?" Sam asked.

"Where we killed Conquest! Where pretty much everything important in the last few months happened!"

"Conquest?" Sam sounded genuinely confused.

"The Horseman?" Dean offered.

Sam shook his head. "Dean… We killed War, and Famine, and Pestilence about a month ago. We just have death left."

"It wasn't Pestilence, it was Conquest," Dean insisted. He shook his head. "Never mind. Help me find Lilly."

Dean suddenly realized he might be in danger. He spun to the nightstand, opened the flask of Holy Water there, and flung some in Sam's face. He narrowed his eyes at his brother.

Sam blinked, water dripping down his face, an irritated look in his eyes.

"Are you done now?" he asked dryly.

"Are you done?" Dean retorted. "Why the hell don't you know anything?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "I think you're still drunk," he said gently.

"I am not drunk!" Dean yelled. "I know exactly what I'm talking about, and I know that Lilly is gone. I don't know why, but I know she was here."

"Dean… Are you sure she wasn't just a girl you met at the bar last night? That you didn't imagine her?"

"Damn it, Sam, yes, I'm sure. I know she's real, and that she really…" Dean trailed off when he realized what he'd said.

"She's real," he muttered to himself as he wandered to the bathroom mirror. Sam followed him, confused.

Dean rolled his shirt up, and to his relief, the scar on his chest was still there. _Damn, Chuck was right, _Dean thought.

"What is that?" Sam asked quietly.

"L.W." Dean said. "Lilly Winchester."

Sam just stared.

"Chuck told me a couple weeks ago that he'd had a vision that I would need to prove Lilly was real, with something that couldn't be erased. This was the best I could do."

Sam continued to stare, his face working with confusion.

"Do you remember now?"

Sam turned and sat back down on his bed. Dean sat on his own across the room.

"Dean…" Sam began carefully, not meeting his eyes. "I have no idea who you're talking about."

Dean slowly let his gaze drop to the floor. He had no idea what to do, or what was happening.

( )

_Sorry it's so short. I have a set idea of where chapters start and end. Thanks for reading; please review! _


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: **_Warning: this chapter gets a little disturbing. Not so much in content, but in concept. However, it is crucial to the story. Also, it might get worse in later chapters. It's rated M for a reason._

Chapter Forty Four

"What the hell is happening?" Dean shouted, pounding his fist into the bed.

"Dean, I'm going to call Bobby," Sam said gently.

Dean didn't process what he said and didn't respond. He stayed rooted to the bed with his head in his hands, staring at the floor, until he heard Sam on the phone.

"Hey, Bobby." Pause. "I think there's something wrong with Dean." Another pause. "Well, he's convinced he met this girl, and that he married her, or something- Oh. Uh huh. Yeah, he came home pretty smashed… I don't know, he seems really upset. I think…" Sam lowered his voice.

Dean stormed over and yanked the phone out of Sam's hand. "Do you remember Lilly?" He demanded. He heard Bobby shuffle.

_"Who?"_

"Damn it. The girl who Castiel sent to your place when me and Sam showed up? She, uh, she went with us to Kalispell."

_"Son, what the hell are you talking about?"_

Dean sighed in frustration. He hadn't wanted to pull this card. "You didn't like her. You said the only reason you helped her after she was attacked by hellhounds was because you knew I loved her."

_"Hellhounds? Damn it, boy, what-"_

Sam cut off Bobby. "Hellhounds? Dean, what's-"

_"What problem did I have-"_

"Shut up!" Dean yelled. Time to pull the card. "Bobby, you didn't like Lilly because she was a dreamwalker."

There was a chilly silence in the room.

"Bobby?"

_"Dean, put Sam back on the phone."_

"But, Bobby-"

_"_Now, _Dean."_

Dean reluctantly obeyed. Sam kept giving him odd glances, and just saying "uh huh" to Bobby.

He knew neither of them believed him. He didn't know what to do. Lilly could be in danger, and here they were just sitting here-

Danger. Of course she was in danger.

Dean flew to his duffel bag and began flinging things out, searching in desperation. Sam had turned to stare at him open-mouthed, but he ignored it. There were more important things.

As he searched frantically, he grabbed his phone from the nightstand. Dialing quickly, he frowned when he couldn't find what he was looking for. Finally, after several rings, a bleary voice answered.

_"Hello?"_

"Chuck." Dean said, digging around at the bottom of the duffel.

_"Is something wrong? It's really early-"_

Dean cut him off. "Who's Lilly, Chuck?"

_"Huh?"_

"Do you know who Lilly is?"

_"No, what are you-"_

Dean hung up, not waiting for him to finish. It was all the conformation he needed.

He was just about to give up the search when he finger brushed the corner of the envelope. Triumphantly, he pulled it out, not noticing that Sam had hung up and was sitting on the edge of the other bed, his hands folded.

Dean re-opened the envelope. He recognized Chuck's handwriting. He scanned the letter quickly, until he found what he was looking for.

_Tenney, Minnesota._

"Let's go," he said to Sam, still clutching the letter.

"What? Where?" Sam asked, standing as well.

"Minnesota. I'll explain on the way."

Sam shook his head. "Dean… I don't think that's a good idea."

"We have to go, Sam. Come on."

"Dean, no."

Dean looked at Sam. His arms were crossed, and his eyes were hard.

"Why not?"

"We're going to Bobby's," Sam said, his voice softening. "We're… We're worried about you."

Dean shoved his clothes back into his duffel and grabbed his gun from the nightstand. "I'm going to Minnesota, with or without you."

"No, you're not." Sam moved in front of the door.

"Damn it, Sam, get out of my way."

"Dean, just get in the car, and we'll talk about this."

"Like hell." Dean waved the gun. "If you know what's good for you, you'll get the hell out of my way." He had a second thought. "At the storage place down the street, there's a Cadillac DeVille. Use the fake IDs with the name Bailey. You can take that to Bobby's. It's proof."

"Of what?" Sam said incredulously.

Dean smirked. "That Lilly's real. It's her car."

"No, Dean, just… Just, you need to calm down, and then-" Sam made the mistake of turning briefly. Dean sighed.

"Sorry, Sammy," he mumbled. He punched Sam in the jaw- not hard enough to do damage, but enough to bring him down. In the brief pause when Sam doubled over, holding his face, Dean lunged for the door.

He flung it open and raced to the Impala, slamming the keys into the ignition and throwing the duffel in the back. Sam leaned on the doorframe, his face completely confused.

"Dean-"

He heard him shout, but then the rest of his sentence was drowned out by the roar of the engine and the squeal of the tires.

Glancing at the letter, he headed north. He prayed he got there in time.

Rage filled his mind as he put together what happened to Lilly.

To hell with the other resolutions he'd made earlier; silly ones about drinking and bars. This one was serious, and one he fully intended to keep.

If it was the last thing he did, he was going to kill Sebastian Slade with his bare hands.

( )

Dean flew down the highway at a speed that was far beyond legal, not caring. A cop could chase him if they wanted to, and he wouldn't stop. Not now.

He needed help, and an idea struck him.

"Cas!" Dean bellowed to the empty car.

Silence.

No rustling, no blinding light, nothing.

"Damn," Dean growled as he pushed the gas pedal down farther. He heard his phone ring, but ignored it. Sam couldn't help him.

Dean thought he knew exactly what had happened to Lilly. Maybe not the details, but the gist of it was that Sebastian Slade had finally taken her, and if Dean knew anything, he knew Slade was planning to kill her. Why, he didn't know, but it wasn't important.

Slade was in for a rude awakening.

He didn't know how long it would take to get to Tenney. He didn't care. Thankfully, the gas tank was nearly full. He wanted to make as few stops as possible.

Dean didn't know how much time had passed until he glanced at the clock when his phone rang for the billionth time since leaving the motel. He was shocked to find he'd been driving for nearly three hours, and decided to finally answer the phone.

"Hello?"

_"Dean? Where the hell are you-" _It was Sam.

Dean grimaced. "Don't try to catch up unless you plan to help. I'm not crazy, and I know what I'm doing." He lied about the last part.

He heard Sam sigh loudly. _"You said there'd be a Cadillac in the garage down the road."_

"Uh huh," Dean glanced at the exit sign, looking for a northern route.

_"Well, there wasn't."_

This caught Dean's attention. "What?"

_"In fact, the owner didn't know what I was talking about. I think those IDs are blown now, because he sure as hell wasn't buying a thing I said."_ Sam sounded irritated.

"Damn."

_"Dean, get your ass back here! You need help-"_

"Yes, I need help! I need killing this demon, and unless you plan to do it, quit being a bitch about it!" Dean yelled.

_"What demon? What-" _Sam shouted back.

Dean hung up.

( )

Miles and miles away, Lilly screamed. Sebastian Slade laughed.

He'd kept the same vessel for years. Average height, thick build, medium brown hair and beard. A gold ring hung from one earlobe. The reason he'd managed to stay in the same vessel was simple.

The human it had belonged to had given it over willingly. Proof of this was in the brand at his neck- _S.S._ Slade's hellhounds were branded the same way. He liked keeping track of his property.

He was about to mark another piece of it.

Lilly glared hatefully at him from the table to which she was tied. He had tilted it up, so she could see her surroundings.

A thick leather band ran across her naked chest, and another across her hips, holding her down. Her wrists and ankles were bound in a similar manner. She'd tried to break free several times, and had nearly succeeded once. A quick blow to the ribs had stalled any further efforts.

Slade twirled a knife on his fingers. He laughed as Lilly tried to push past the barrier he'd set up mentally. She was certainly powerful, one of the strongest of the dreamwalkers. But Slade wasn't stupid.

He knew she was immune to the _grushdeva, _but it didn't mean it couldn't protect him. The tattoo on his back matched the one on Lilly's arm perfectly. Without her abilities as a dreamwalker, Lilly was just a human.

With a decidedly irritating sense of honor and courage.

She spat at him when he came near, and laughed through blood when he hit her. She had screamed when he cut into old scars, but he could tell from her eyes that it was purely involuntary and not out of fear. He wanted to make her afraid.

"Dean Winchester's not coming to save you," he taunted. Lilly smiled weakly.

"Just wait," she whispered.

Slade laughed. "He can't kill me."

Lilly just smiled. "What do you want with me?"

Feigning surprise, Slade asked, "You don't know?" His voice was gravelly and deep.

Lilly raised an eyebrow. She wanted Dean. She wanted to know he was okay; that Slade hadn't hurt him badly when he took her, screaming, from the bar. She'd seen Dean hit his head when Slade threw him back. Even as drunk as they both were, Dean had seemed to instantly sober up and had pulled his gun on Slade. Slade had just laughed.

Since she'd been held captive in this room- a cold, dimly lit cave, in Lilly's opinion- Slade had only cut her a few times, and hit her if she made too much noise or tried to bait him. She was worried about what might be coming next.

Slade smiled wickedly. "You've been told you will never have children, right?"

Lilly felt the blood drain from her face.

"That's not exactly true."

"Yes, it is." Lilly said stubbornly.

"No, darlin', it's not." Slade showed his teeth in a grin. "Did you know that only the first child of a dreamwalker can inherit that same trait?" Lilly didn't answer. "Well, that's how it is."

Lilly thought she knew where he was going. She wanted to scream, cry, run away.

Slade continued, coming closer. "There was a reason I did what I did a few years and let you live. You know what I want?"

Lilly remembered all too well how Slade had talked, saying things that seemed completely unrelated only to reveal their connection.

"I want a weapon. Not a gun, or a knife, but a… Creature. A perfect killer, more powerful than you or I alone."

The glare came back to Lilly's face.

"Imagine, a demon dreamwalker… We'd be sure to win the war." Slade chuckled.

"I can't help you with that." Lilly said boldly.

Slade was suddenly beside her, his beard tickling her ear. She resisted the urge to squirm away.

"Oh, but you can. I think we should see just how ruined you are."

Lilly flinched when he ran his rough hand up her thigh. An unbidden image of her and Dean in the back of the Impala two nights ago came to mind, and she closed her eyes. Maybe if she focused on that, she could endure what Slade would do to her.

She felt the knife Slade was holding tickle her stomach, drawing a thin line of blood, and then it fell away. She wanted to be sick.

"You can think of Dean all you want, but I'll make sure you know the difference," Slade said quietly.

Lilly couldn't help herself. "Oh, that won't be hard," she said, with a suggestively demeaning glance.

Slade glared, his hands pressed onto the table on either side of her ribs. "I'll break every bone in your body if I need to," he hissed, "but you can't stop me."

A tear slid down Lilly's cheek as Slade caressed her stomach, and she realized he was right.

( )

**A/N: **_Hope you enjoy. Please review!_


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter Forty Five

Dean drove as fast as traffic would allow. Finally, early in the evening, he reached Highway 75. He'd been on Interstate 90, just as Chuck's directions had told him to do, for what seemed like forever.

He'd had to stop for gas twice, and had grabbed a sandwich for lunch at the first stop. The second stop had been just over an hour ago.

For a long time during his drive, he had puzzled over what had happened to the Cadillac. Finally, he had decided it didn't matter and he didn't care.

Sam had tried to call him repeatedly. Bobby had also tried to call. Dean didn't answer, and turned the phone off.

An hour later, Dean breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a sign welcoming him to Minnesota. He kept an eye on the exit signs, looking for one headed to Tenney.

( )

Lilly had accepted that she was probably going to die.

In fact, she wanted to die. She wanted to do anything but stay in this room, this same forsaken room where she'd been held captive too many times.

The last time she'd been here, she'd had the beginning of a successful career. She'd thought her life was planned out. She thought she would get married, have kids, and maybe one day stop thinking about the darker side she knew her mind contained.

Sebastian Slade had ruined that dream.

Now, he about to ruin her whole life.

She was cold, sore and miserable. Her body hurt from being hit, cut, and assaulted in every way. Her muscles ached from tugging against the bonds that held her down.

With a sense of despair, Lilly thought if by some miracle she lived, she would kill herself anyway. She would rather die than bring the creature Sebastian Slade had described into the world.

Despite her considerable abilities, Lilly knew very little about the history of dreamwalkers. She knew that the truly dangerous dreamwalkers had inherited the trait genetically, but that it could also be developed by eating some kind of root, the name of which she couldn't remember. The ability could be passed down, but wasn't necessarily guaranteed. Sometimes it skipped one, two, dozens of generations.

Lilly had to assume that was how it had been for her. As far as she knew, none of her relatives shared the ability. She was the only one.

She cursed aloud, the sound of her voice echoing off the stone walls and startling her. If not for this curse she'd never asked for, she would be safe at home, maybe with a family. She would be comfortable, normal.

Laughing to herself without much humor, Lilly shook her head. Normal. She had no hope of being normal.

And yet, Dean didn't seem to care. He was worth all the dangers and risks of not being 'normal'.

A tear slipped down Lilly's cheek. She had been trying not to cry, but it was becoming a losing battle. The more time passed in the cold chamber, the more Slade came in to torture her, the more she dealt with the fact that she was never seeing Dean again.

He didn't know what happened to her. Slade had explained to her at length what he had done. The first few moments of his monologue she hadn't heard, because the pounding of blood in her ears from the horror of being abused was still too loud. The next few moments had been blocked out by a thick cloud of hatred and rage. Lilly could picture him smoking a cigarette while sitting next to her, completely satisfied with himself. She had wanted to be sick.

From what she had managed to catch, he had cast an ancient spell. It erased her from everyone's memory. No one would know who she was- including Dean.

Lilly couldn't let herself believe that Dean would just forget who she was. She had been trying to reach out to him, invade his mind and tell him where she was, but Slade's _grushdeva _and her own exhaustion made it difficult.

Dean loved her. She knew that; hadn't doubted it even when she took off. She hadn't left because she wanted to, but because she was afraid Dean would be better off without her.

It had been a stupid thing to do. She should have just stormed back to the hotel room, waited for Dean to come crawling back, and punch him when he did. Then they would have made up, and laughed about it later.

But Dean had come after her anyway, chasing her halfway across the country and never giving up on her. She had had every intention of stopping in Memphis, but realized Dean was still hot on her heels. No matter how far she ran, he was right behind her.

When he caught up, he'd given her a ring. Asked her to marry him. Promised everything a normal man would promise the woman he loved.

Thankfully, Slade had left the ring. Lilly stared at it lovingly, wishing she could see Dean again. Her mind once again raced on the same circular track, wondering how she got here and how she could get out.

Dean couldn't just forget about her. He loved her…

Lilly screamed in frustration. She was angry. For almost two days, she'd been locked in a dungeon. A dungeon, in the middle of 21st century United States. Repeating to herself that Dean loved her wasn't going to get her out.

Her anger had been building steadily. She knew if the _grushdeva _on Slade's back were removed, or even damaged, her rage would kill him instantly. Her mind had been probing its barriers, searching for a weak spot. So far, it had found none, but when it did, there would be no stopping it.

Lilly concluded that the spell was the reason she couldn't reach anyone else. It must be creating a wall between her mind and everyone else's, hence her predicament.

It was a bit terrifying to suddenly lose something to which she'd grown so accustomed. It was like not being able to breathe anymore. She knew she had once been able to do it, and knew _how, _but couldn't make herself pull it off.

Once again, Lilly strained against the leather bonds. She was sick of them biting into her skin, making marks on her bare chest and hips. Distantly, she knew she should be terrified, but she was so angry that the fear just wasn't there.

Slade must have heard her scream. He sauntered to the door of her cage, and walked in with a slight smile on his face.

"You miss me, darlin'?" He drawled. Lilly had never hated anyone as much as she hated him.

"Not even a little bit," she spat at him, anger flaring to a new level.

He moved closer, and stroked her exposed stomach. Drawing his knife from a pocket, he flicked open the blade and drew a red line down her arm. It wasn't deep, but it stung.

Slade touched the point of the knife to her navel. Lilly glared at him, her terror rising for a split second. Something in his eyes told her she needed to be careful this time.

"I think maybe you wanted something from me," he said softly. He grinned, and Lilly felt sick. "All you have to do is ask."

"You're one sick son of a bitch," Lilly hissed at him, her heart pounding. He leaned in.

"Easy, now. Don't fight it." His free hand moved towards the band across her hips, and the moment he released it, Lilly threw herself against the others. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes when it did no good.

Slade chuckled as he laid the knife down. He kissed Lilly's cheek, and she shrank away from him. "Soon, you'll forget all about Dean, and it'll be just you and me." He smiled. "This is better, don't you think?"

"Dean wouldn't do this to me," Lilly said, her voice shaking. "Go to hell."

"Now, now. Just relax." He caressed her hip, and the tears spilled over. She couldn't take any more. Lilly gave in to the fear, trembling. Every time Slade touched her, she became more afraid. This was the end.

The anger ebbed away and was replaced with horror as Slade moved himself onto her. She forgot to be angry, and could only scream for someone to help her.

( )

Dean was pulled over on the side of the highway, sitting in the car with his head in his hands. He couldn't find Tenney. He didn't know where it was, and had seen no signs. About an hour ago, he had started seeing signs for the Canadian border and had turned around.

Closing his eyes, he remembered laughing and dancing with Lilly the last night he'd seen her. Before long, he drifted into a fitful sleep, his exhaustion taking over.

( )

Lilly thought she was going crazy. She couldn't seem to remember what she was waiting for, but she felt that somehow, whatever it might be was going to rescue her.

She didn't know how long she'd been in this same room, being cut and raped and beaten by a demon. She just knew that it was happening, and that her mind was going to another place.

The demon had made her see things. Horrible things, things she wanted to forget. But they replaced over and over in her mind.

Lilly felt like she should be doing something with her mind, but she couldn't remember what. Nothing made sense… Maybe the demon had drugged her. It was as if her conscious and subconscious weren't working together anymore. They had parted ways some time ago when she had seen Hell.

( )

Dean drove with a renewed purpose. He had woken up and knew exactly how to get to Tenney. Perhaps Chuck had told him, and he simply hadn't remembered.

He was headed to an old stone building at the edge of town. Picturing it clearly, he kept an eye out for it after reaching Tenney.

The Colt, Ruby's knife, and various other weapons were on the seat beside him. His phone, long turned off, was in the glove box. Maybe Sam was right, and he was crazy. But he wouldn't believe that until he had proof.

With a glance at the knife, he imagined slamming it into Slade's heart. Either he or Slade wasn't coming out of this alive.

Dean pushed the Impala faster.

( )

Her head was spinning, and she felt nauseous. A trickle blood dripped from her fingertips, from a cut on her arm that she didn't remember getting.

Lilly wanted to be angry, but she was hurting too much. Complacency seemed easier.

A sound buzzed from somewhere distant. It was faint, at first, but growing louder. What started as a faraway hum had developed into a nearby growl.

Lilly's heart skipped. She lifted her chin, which she noticed was also bleeding.

She knew that sound.

That sound meant something; she'd heard it before-

Dean.

The roar of the Impala's engine cut off.

In a matter of seconds, Lilly remembered. Her anger came flooding back with a vengeance, and she fought against the bonds holding her down. The glanced at her left hand; her ring was still there. Dean wasn't just a dream. He had come after her once again.

Slowly, it dawned on Lilly what this meant. Slade would kill him before he set foot in the building.

With her newfound strength, Lilly fought her mental bonds- searched for Slade- with everything she had.

( )

Pulling up to the old, crumbling building, Dean knew there was a good chance he was coming here to die. He didn't care. He'd died before.

He shut the car door behind him, and checked his gun. It was loaded, and he had another gun on him just in case. He had knives, holy water, and a hex bag he'd found in the trunk.

Convinced he was as ready as he was going to get, Dean took a deep breath, and walked towards the old building.

( )

**A/N: **_Sorry for the wait; please review!_


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter Forty Six

Dean's skin tingled when he entered the building. The air stank of sulfur and blood.

The door had creaked open, but nothing seemed to move in the old building. Dean knew it wouldn't be that way for much longer.

From somewhere up ahead, the floor creaked, and Dean pointed his gun in that direction. He could have sworn he heard a deep, distant laugh, but he shook off the sound.

Another sound came that he couldn't ignore- a scream, coming from below.

( )

Slade twisted a blade into Lilly's shoulder. She bit down on her lip to keep from screaming.

Grinning, Slade licked the blade of the knife, and Lilly stared at him hatefully. She wanted nothing more than to kill him and then die herself.

Finally, after struggling for hours, she had been able to feel the power in her mind again. She could sense how close Dean was. She just couldn't reach Slade, even though he was less than two feet from her.

Lilly took a long glance down at herself. She was bloody, bruised, and exhausted. Even if Dean could find her and kill Slade, she didn't know how long she would live. Maybe she could somehow make Dean leave, save him from what Slade would do to him.

Another glance, this one at the ring on her finger, convinced her that she couldn't let Dean near her.

( )

As soon as Dean found a flight of stairs leading to a basement, he was hit with a fierce headache. It brought him to his knees, and his head was pounding so loudly that he couldn't hear the old building creak and moan with the wind that had picked up outside.

With some small part of his mind that wasn't screaming, Dean remembered Lilly's intense fear and hatred of Slade, and knew what she was doing. She was blocking him from trying to save her.

He gritted his teeth and gathered his willpower. Standing up again, Dean glared at the stairs. Lilly wasn't going to stop him.

"Get over it, sweetheart," he said, somehow convinced that she could hear him. "Either we're both coming out of here alive, or neither of us are."

Dean started down the stairs.

( )

Lilly hated Dean's stubborn nature. He was still drawing closer, and Slade knew it. He was smiling, twirling the knife on his fingers.

Her mind clouded with pain when that knife was pressed into her thigh, a line of blood appearing down her leg. Slade chuckled when she cried out.

Distantly, Lilly heard footsteps. Tears spilled onto her cheeks, and she wanted to scream at Dean to turn back. She knew he wouldn't listen.

Slade smiled at her, showing teeth, and pressed a finger to his lips as Dean appeared in the doorway.

( )

"Hello, Dean," Slade said smoothly. The cocky smirk on Dean's face pained Lilly; she wondered if it was the last time she would see it. A small sound escaped her throat, and Dean turned his eyes on her for the first time.

Dean's face crumpled, and Lilly began to really cry, closing her eyes from the sight.

She felt a blow to her cheek, and heard Slade mutter, "Shut up." Afraid for Dean, Lilly did as she was told. A quick glance, a brief eye contact, was all she had to hold on to before Dean's expression clouded with rage, and he fired at Slade.

( )

Dean put every once of rage into his shot. Lilly had looked far worse than he had imagined, but at least she was breathing.

The sound of the gun firing echoed off the stone walls, and Dean expected Slade to drop. At least slow down.

But there was no such luck, and Slade was in front of Dean in seconds, the bullet holes seemingly ignored. Slade clamped a hand around Dean's throat.

Hoping for something along the lines of divine intervention, Dean fired again, pressing the gun against Slade's stomach. The demon wasn't wearing a shirt, and smelled of sweat and the rot of the old building.

Again, the shots rang out, and again, it did no good. Slade just grinned, exposing teeth. Dean flinched back, trying to break his grip.

"Dean…" Lilly called out from across the room. His eyes darted to her; he wondered why she couldn't kill Slade.

"Lilly!" Dean shouted. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say, but he felt it was necessary that he say something.

Slade smiled sickeningly. "Maybe you should hear about what your girlfriend and I have been doing all this time…" He licked his lips. "She missed me."

"Son of a bitch," Dean growled. He pulled a knife from his pocket and swung it at Slade, but he had no momentum, and it glanced off the demon's arm.

Slade picked him up by the throat, grabbed a fistful of his shirt, and threw him across the room. Dean landed heavily on his side, rolling over to avoid stabbing himself on his own knife.

Meanwhile, Slade made his way over to Lilly. Dean pulled himself to his feet, anger at Slade's proximity to her clouding any sensible plan of attack. Slade ran his hand over her stomach, and tried to kiss her. Lilly head butted him.

Slade glared and struck her jaw, and then jabbed a finger into an older wound on her arm. Lilly screamed.

Dean moved towards Slade, limping slightly from his landing but trying to ignore it. He noticed that Slade's back was covered in a tattoo.

Seconds, precious seconds, ticked by as Dean's stared at Slade's back. He'd seen that tattoo, that design, before.

Lilly caught his eye. "Break it," she said softly.

Desperately trying to understand, Dean moved towards Slade, making out the details of the tattoo.

As Slade turned back to him, grinning again, Dean understood.

Dean made a dive for Slade's back, intending to rip that tattoo in half with the knife that was already extended, almost there-

He felt himself flung to the other wall. Now Slade was just holding him there, making him watch as he put a hand on Lilly. Dean's anger reached a new level.

"Dean… Just break the spell," Lilly said, her voice a bit weaker. Dean noticed several very deep cuts on her arms and legs. Surprisingly, there were none that were serious on her exposed stomach.

Slade brought up his knife. He traced it around Lilly's neck, and then smiled. "We both know I wouldn't kill you," he said, his hands on her again. "You have so many other uses."

Reigning in his anger, Dean fought against Slade's hold. He focused on Lilly's face. Her eyes revealed what she'd experienced. Dean wondered if she even wanted to come out alive.

Choking back the lump forming in his throat, Dean glared at Slade's back. The tattoo there was identical to the one on Lilly's arm, just much bigger. She couldn't hurt him unless that pattern was broken.

Dean mustered up all the willpower he had. He glanced at Lilly, and didn't say anything. He didn't really need to. If they were going to die like this, so be it.

With every ounce of strength he had, Dean lunged at Slade, the knife held out. Slade didn't see him coming, and whirled on him.

Slade turned after Dean had already ripped his back open, destroying the tattoo.

Dean looked at Lilly. Her eyes were swimming, rage somehow conveyed through the murky grey color. He forgot to be terrified.

Slade's eyes went solid black, and then grey like Lilly's. He turned his face upward, screaming. It seemed like an eternity before he fell to the ground, limp. A puff of black smoke exhaled from his lips, and was instantly extinguished.

Dean let out a huge sigh, and Lilly sobbed. Racing to her, Dean struggled to release the clasps holding her down. He finally succeeding, and wrapped her in his jacket.

She had gone limp in his arms. The pressure of killing Slade had used the last of energy, and now…

No. Dean wouldn't let that happen.

Scrubbing a fist over his eyes, Dean felt for Lilly's pulse. There wasn't one.

"No, come on, princess," Dean said. "You can't…"

Dean pressed on her chest, trying to restart her heart. It couldn't end like this. Cursing, Dean put his mouth to hers, willing her to start breathing. After a few minutes of trying, he sat back. Carefully, he reached forward, touching his fingers to her neck.

There was still no pulse.

Dean crumpled back onto the floor, an angry cry escaping his lips. He slammed his fist into the concrete.

He'd failed. He'd been too late. He'd promised Lilly he'd be there, protect her, and he hadn't.

Choking back tears, Dean reached for Lilly's hand. He gently stroked her fingers, adjusting the ring.

He blinked.

Surely, he had imagined that…

But there it was again.

Slowly, not daring to hope, Dean leaned closer. He heard a slight whisper of breath, and saw Lilly's chest rise a quarter inch.

"Lilly, come on, wake up-" he managed to choke out. Lilly twitched again, and Dean almost cheered. He felt for a pulse. It was there, but weak.

A few minutes later, Lilly began to blink. Slowly at first, then more rapidly. Her breathing became steadier.

Suddenly, she gasped and filled her lungs. Her breath became ragged, and her eyes were wide.

Dean wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair, not bothering with words. Lilly began to sob uncontrollably.

"He's gone," Dean said. "It's okay."

Lilly didn't reply. It took several moments before Dean realized that she was shrinking away from him.

( )

"I think she'll be okay," Dean said quietly. He was on the phone with Sam; Lilly was asleep in the backseat, wrapped in a blanket.

It had been three days since they had killed Slade. He had rushed Lilly to a hospital. Shockingly, they had bought what he'd told them about her abduction and torture, minus the demon part. The FBI badge may have helped.

Lilly's wounds were not as serious as they looked. However, the doctors warned that she needed to be resting for the next several weeks. The wounds had been cleaned and bandaged, but Lilly's emotional health was still in question. She had declined seeing a therapist, even though the doctor treating her said rape victims often benefitted from one.

After some digging, Dean had discovered that Slade had used a spell on Lilly. She was erased from everyone's memory. Dean didn't know why he was an exception; he didn't particularly care.

Sam had called several hours after they'd arrived at the hospital, explaining that he and Bobby remembered Lilly. Distraught, Sam wanted to drive to Minnesota, but Dean told him to wait for them to come back.

_"Is she still sleeping?"_ Sam asked. Dean checked the rearview mirror.

"Yeah."

Sam must have heard the pain in voice. _"Dean, I'm sure she'll be fine. She went through something horrible. You can't expect her to bounce back to the same way she was."_

Dean lowered his voice further. "She won't look at me," he said.

_"It wasn't your fault."_

"Are you sure about that?" Dean asked grimly.

Sam sighed. _"Yes, just bring her back. She'll be okay."_

Everyone kept telling him that. But when Dean saw the distant, terrified look in Lilly's eyes whenever she was forced to make eye contact with someone, he wasn't so sure.

( )

**A/N: **_Reviews would be much appreciated!_


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter Forty Seven

Lilly slept almost all the way back to Memphis. When she was awake, she was silent unless spoken to; even then, her responses were short and quiet.

Trying to let Lilly cool off, Dean drove slowly, stopping overnight in Indiana. Their hotel room was small, but cozy, and Dean hoped Lilly would open up. She didn't.

What scared him was that she didn't seem afraid, just blank. As if someone had wiped away the person she had been, leaving just a shell behind.

Dean had lain next to her in bed, hating that she was inches from him, but farther away than she'd been in a long time. When he put his arm around her, she turned over, putting her back to him. He spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, wondering how he could get back the woman he loved.

It had now been five days. Lilly looked no closer to herself than she did on day one.

"You want something to eat?" Dean asked gently when he saw an exit. Lilly was staring out the passenger side window. She just shook her head.

Normally at this point in the drive, she would be shouting at him to find somewhere to get food.

Now, she wouldn't even glance at him.

Dean's heart sank farther every time he tried to look at her. She'd lost weight, and her skin had lost the brightness it had once held. Her long hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She wouldn't smile.

The radio remained at a constant low volume. Lilly didn't turn up the songs that Dean knew she liked, or turn off the ones she hated. She just stared out the window.

( )

In Memphis, Dean met Sam outside a new motel room. Sam was standing under the small overhang, sheltering himself from the light rain. Lilly stepped out of the car, oblivious to the rain. Her bag was still in the backseat of the Impala from before she was taken, but she didn't seem to realize that.

Instead of smiling at the rain and looking up into the sky, Lilly walked directly to the door. Sam gently put his arms around her, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. Lilly stood stiffly, giving Sam a half smile as she pulled away. Dean locked eyes with Sam over her head. The unspoken communication between the brothers revealed everything- Lilly was not the same anymore, and neither of them knew how to get her back.

( )

They'd been in Memphis a week and a half. No cases, no talk of demons, no nothing. Sam had even found them a nicer place to stay, a downtown hotel with a nice view.

Sam frequently offered to go for a walk with Lilly, to go to movies, to do anything but sit in their room. She always shook her head, said "no, thanks," and went back to reading or listening to music or just sitting.

Dean was doing a lot of sitting, too. He could never think of anything to do that Sam hadn't already asked about, and had given up on trying to talk to her. The only times she seemed like the woman he knew were when they were in bed at night, and she had nightmares. Only then would she let Dean wrap his arms around her and try to calm her down.

She went for runs by herself. With headphones in and music blaring, Lilly would leave, even –especially- in pouring rain, and be gone for several hours. She'd come back exhausted and trembling, breathing raggedly. After that, she would take a shower, and then go back to reading or listening to music. This had been her routine every day since they'd arrived. At first, Dean had tried to convince her that she needed to rest, let herself heal, but she'd just given him a blank look and walked out the door. Sam had stopped him from going after her.

Tonight, however, she had turned on the television and was watching a Discovery show about Egyptian mummies. Her face was the blank mask that Dean and Sam were so used to seeing.

Dean carefully sat next to her on the little couch, being sure not to jostle her. She glanced at him briefly before turning away.

Her hands rested on either side of her legs, instead of folded in her lap as they usually were. Dean looked sadly at her thin frame, the athletic muscles replaced by narrow limbs. It reflected the disappearance of her personality, as well; she had been so full of life and confident and driven. Now, she was just a thin shell of who she had been.

Dean wondered if that was how he had been, coming back from Hell.

Lilly's eyes were still fixed on the TV. One of her fingers twitched involuntarily, but Dean noticed. Praying for some reaction, even negative, Dean reached for her hand.

When she didn't flinch away, Dean intertwined their fingers, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. For a long time, Lilly was still, but then she glanced at him again.

She squeezed back.

Dean felt relief wash over him.

( )

That night was the first that Lilly didn't have nightmares. She slept peacefully, as did Dean. However, in the morning, Dean heard her fling back the covers.

He sat upright, trying to figure out what was going on as Lilly slammed the bathroom door. Hurrying across the room, Dean knocked on the door. He heard Lilly coughing violently on the other side.

"You okay?" He asked gently, feeling silly for asking. Lilly groaned, and Dean pushed the door open. Tears were streaming down her face.

"I think I'm sick," she said, sitting on the floor. "My stomach was bothering me all day yesterday."

Dean thought to himself that that was the most she'd talked in the last few days.

Sitting down next to her, Dean stroked her back. She stiffened, but didn't move away.

_Baby steps, _Dean told himself.

"We'll pick up something when we go get lunch," he told her. Lilly nodded slowly, wiping away her tears.

Later, as Dean and Sam went picking up something to eat, Sam turned to Dean, frowning.

"Does Lilly seem… Worse, to you?" Sam asked.

Dean looked surprised. "No. She seemed better, actually."

Sam glanced to either side, as if about to confide something. "You were out yesterday when she got back from running. She came stumbling in, breathing hard, and said she felt sick. I asked her what was wrong, and she just shut down."

Now it was Dean's turn to frown. "She got sick this morning." He said. "Maybe she caught the flu from being in freezing rain?"

"I hope so," Sam mumbled, turning away.

"What else would it be?" Dean demanded, grabbing Sam's arm and forcing his brother to face him.

"Nothing," Sam said quickly. "We should probably get back."

( )

By the end of the week, Dean was convinced Lilly was sick.

Despite constant nausea, Lilly insisted on running every day. She was gone a little longer each time, and refused to talk when she came back thoroughly exhausted.

Finally, on Friday, Dean stopped her when she tried to go outside.

"You're sick." Dean pointed at the bed. "You're staying."

Lilly glared. "I'm fine, I just-" Suddenly, she turned and ran to the bathroom, the breakfast she'd eaten earlier- grudgingly- refusing to stay down.

"See?" Dean said, leaning on the doorframe. He handed her a washcloth, and spoke more gently. "Stay," he said.

Lilly stared at him, fear clouding her expression, and then kicked off her shoes, and crawled into bed.

Dean walked to the door once he knew she was asleep. Sam was in the lobby, using an outlet to charge his laptop.

"I'm going for a walk." Dean said. "Lilly's sleeping."

"I'll go up," Sam nodded, understanding that Lilly didn't need to be alone.

Sam reached their room to find Lilly sitting up on the bed, sobbing with her head in her hands.

"Hey, Lilly, it's-"

"Sam…" Lilly said, crying. She flinched when Sam touched her shoulder, but didn't move away.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

Lilly sniffled. Her eyes were terrified. "I need your help."

( )

Dean usually didn't walk much, but he found himself wandering Memphis for several hours. When he noticed the sun setting, he began to head back to the hotel.

The Impala was in a different spot in the parking lot. Sam must have gone out to get food, or something.

When he reached his floor and neared the room, he heard shouting. He raced to the door, and opened it to find Lilly crying, sitting on the edge of the bed. Sam's face was white.

"What the hell?" Dean began.

"Dean-" Sam began to speak. Lilly stood, and began to pace.

"This isn't happening," she said, scrubbing at her eyes. "No. No, this isn't right!"

"What?" Dean repeated.

"Dean." Sam said again, more quietly. The color was slowing coming back to his face, but he still looked alarmed.

"Tell me what's going on!" Dean shouted.

Lilly stopped pacing, and faced him. At first her voice was quiet, and Dean was sure he had heard wrong, so he asked her to repeat what she'd said.

"I'm pregnant," Lilly said. Another wave of tears fell.

( )

"Wh-what?" Dean asked, unable to believe what he'd heard.

Lilly just looked up at him sadly. She went back to pacing.

Sam shook his head.

Lilly glanced around the room, and then her eyes landed on her bag. She dug through it, and came up with Mary Winchester's gun. She marched to Dean, and put it in his hands.

"Use it." She said.

"Huh?" Dean wasn't processing anything.

The tears were gone, and a hard resolve, underlined with fear, marked Lilly's expression. "It's a demon, Dean. It'll kill me anyway."

"What- No!"

"Yes!"

Dean's mind was slowly catching up. "No, Lilly, maybe you're wrong-"

"She's not." Sam said quietly.

"See?" Lilly said softly.

"No." Dean shook his head. Suddenly a though washed over him. "How do you know it's a demon?"

Lilly's face clouded over, and she stared reproachfully. "I think you would be familiar with what happens when-"

Dean held up his hand. "Stop! Yes, I know. Just… what about before…" Dean didn't want to say Slade's name. "The night we caught up to you."

A flicker of hope, even joy, crossed Lilly's face. Then the fear and disappointment returned.

"How likely do you think that is?" She asked.

Dean stepped forward, cupping her face in his hands. She jumped, and her eyes showed fear, but she didn't move.

"Likely enough that I'm not killing somebody I love."

A tear trickled down Lilly's cheek.

An all-too-familiar rustling came from behind them.

"Dean." Castiel said.

Dean's face darkened. "You have some sucky timing, let me tell you."

"I was prevented from interfering."

"Yeah, well, you take orders from dicks."

Castiel grimaced, but didn't protest. "I believe that you and I need to speak." He glanced at Lilly and Sam. "Alone."

In the parking lot, Dean turned to Castiel and glared.

"You want to tell me what the hell is happening to her?" He demanded.

Castiel stared at some indeterminate point in the distance. "She's pregnant."

Dean humbled his tone, and sighed. When he spoke, he found his voice was choked. "Please… just tell me-"

Turning to Dean, Castiel looked stern. "Do you really want to know?"

"Of course!" Dean shouted.

"Think about it." The angel challenged.

"Trust me, I am," Dean retorted.

"If the child is a demon, they both die. You lose the woman you love." Castiel stated. Dean nodded, hoping the angel would get to the point. Castiel faced him, his expression dead serious. "If it's yours, you have to face giving up everything you know. Hunting, your lifestyle- did you think about that?"

Dean didn't have to. "I'll do it." He said instantly.

Castiel waited a long time. Then he gave Dean a crooked smile. "Try to be a good father, Dean."

Dean's jaw dropped. "You mean… Really?"

Castiel nodded.

Spontaneously, Dean threw his arms around the angel, who wiggled uncomfortably.

Dean raced back up the stairs, and flung open the door. Lilly was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at her feet. Sam sat next to her, his head in his head. He looked up when Dean burst in.

"Out." Dean said to Sam. Sam frowned, but obeyed, taking Dean's outburst seriously. As soon as the door shut, Dean crossed the room quickly, and pulled Lilly up. She was so shocked that she didn't flinch away.

Dean pressed his lips to hers for the first time in weeks. He had missed it so much.

Lilly wiggled out of his grip, her eyes still a bit wary. "Is this some kind of goodbye?" She asked, her voice thick.

"No." Dean said. "No, this… this…" He trailed off, unable to come up with words. He kissed her again, pulling her close. "You don't have anything to worry about." He whispered.

"What?" Lilly asked quietly. Her face was muddled with confusion.

Dean's train of though was already far ahead. "We can make this work. Sam's a good hunter, we could handle research, and low-key stuff, and Bobby will help-"

"Dean…" Lilly met his gaze. "What are you saying?"

He looked deep into her eyes. "That something in my life is finally going right."

At first, Dean could tell Lilly didn't believe him. Her eyes darted from his face to other points around the room, and her hands shook when she moved them to his chest.

Dean kissed her again, softly, barely touching her back with one hand. Lilly didn't pull away, and when he broke the kiss, she leaned her forehead on his chest. He didn't say anything when he heard her sniffle.

After several moments, Dean held Lilly's shoulders and looked at her. She was smiling, and for the first time in two weeks, it was sincere.

( )

**A/N: **_I'm so sorry it took so long for this chapter! I've been swamped with homework the last few weeks, and I have no free time anymore. I still have a plan for this story and potential sequels, even if it takes me forever to get to them. Please review!_


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter Forty Eight

"You're serious?" Lilly whispered again. "It's…" She sounded afraid to say it, as if speaking the words would jinx them. "It's yours?" Her voice was barely audible.

"Yeah," Dean said, pressing his lips gently to her forehead. "Yeah, I'm serious."

Taking a step back, Lilly sat down on the bed. Her lip started trembling.

Dean sat down next to her. He didn't need to ask what was wrong; he waited for her to speak. With the pads of his thumbs, he wiped the tears from Lilly's cheeks.

"I…" Lilly stuttered, trying to control her voice. "I never dealt with what happened."

"I know," Dean said quietly.

Lilly let him pull her closer. "I'm used to being strong, being able to protect myself. Being weak- defenseless- like that… It terrified me."

Dean nodded.

The tears fell more rapidly as Lilly continued. "I was weak, and scared, and… broken, and I hated it. I hated myself for it." She looked up at him. Dean started; the fire in her eyes was back with such an intensity that for a moment he didn't recognize it. "I'm not supposed to be weak."

"I know," Dean whispered, afraid to say anything else.

"I was afraid… That I would lose you." Lilly whispered. "I didn't want my last memory to be of a demon trying to kill me."

Dean almost chuckled at that. "No one does, babe," he said gently.

Lilly's lips turned up slightly at the corners, not quite a smile. Then her face fell again, and the words poured from her lips.

She started at the beginning- the first time Slade had taken her; filling in the many details left out of Chuck's manuscript. Dean's jaw dropped at some of the terrifying things Slade had made her see, but he knew that for her, it had been completely real. His own experience in Hell made him sure of that.

The tears at times became too much to bare, and Lilly paused. Dean pulled her close, his heart aching for what she'd been through, so similar to his past- what they'd both been through.

Lilly continued on to Slade's sick torture during her most recent captivity, and Dean had to close his eyes, as if that would change the past. She poured out every horrifying detail. Dean knew it was to heal herself and not to shock him, but he also knew he'd be haunted by her story for a long time.

She left nothing out. As she leaned against him, sobbing, Dean felt tears trickling from his own eyes. He was amazed Lilly even let him touch her, and felt the weight of responsibility settle on his shoulders- a duty to make sure Lilly was never put through anything like that again, ever; to keep her safe at all times; to be everything she needed him to be, all the time.

Dean smiled, tightening his arms around Lilly. He knew in that moment that he would give her anything, everything, and do whatever was necessary to keep them together. No matter what, Dean would make things work.

( )

The next few days in Memphis were the best Dean had had in a long time. Lilly was slowly but surely going back to her old self, the change accelerating as time went on. She was eating again, smiling more, and laughing at Dean's corny jokes.

Dean and Sam both saw the life returning to her eyes, her smile, the way she moved. Dean knew Sam saw it when Sam met his gaze when Lilly wasn't looking, and they shared an unspoken understanding that they'd be okay.

After Lilly had told Dean everything, he told her about Hell. Things that he'd never even mentioned to Sam, and all of it came tumbling out. They were only ones on the planet that knew what had happened, all of it, and Dean had a deep respect for that connection. It was something he'd never felt before, and he relished it.

And then there was that other small matter… One that Dean could barely bring himself to believe. On one hand, he was excited and happy; secretly thrilled that he was getting a chance at a real family. On the other hand, he was terrified.

Sam had been a good sport about it, and waited in the parking lot for Dean and Lilly to come get him. However, Castiel had already told him, and as soon as Sam saw them, he had burst into a huge grin.

"Just promise I won't be Uncle Sam," he had laughed as he hugged Lilly, ignoring her slight flinch.

That night, Dean and Lilly lay in bed, whispering back and forth. Dean felt like a kid again; he knew Lilly did too. She smiled at him again… Something he'd missed dearly. Slowly, she was letting him back in.

( )

A week had passed. No hunting, no demons, no Apocalypse… Dean loved it.

Lilly was almost completely recovered. Her body was back to its toned, almost glowing state, and her eyes sparkled whenever she looked at Dean.

But he knew he couldn't take credit for her rapid improvement. He had the baby to thank for that… His baby. Their baby.

Lilly wasn't bubbly and excited like some pregnant women were; instead, she was quiet and reserved about it. Whenever someone mentioned it, she didn't say anything, just glanced at her feet, beaming.

Dean felt the same way. His heart leaped into his throat, and he was for a moment overcome by terror- fear of failing to protect them, failing to make them happy, failing as a father.

But then he looked at Lilly, saw the way she smiled at him, and knew everything would be just fine.


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: I am so. So. So sorry. College and sports and a now ex-boyfriend have taken up all my spare time and I haven't had the inspiration lately. I didn't want to force myself to write if I knew it would suck. This isn't quite as exciting as a chapter you all deserve, but I wanted everyone to know I haven't forgotten this story! I do intend to finish it, and I have it planned. Hopefully I can make myself update more often… Enjoy!**

Chapter Forty Nine

"Dammit, Sam, hurry up!" Lilly snapped into the phone. Dean covered his mouth to hide his snicker, but Lilly shot him a glare anyway. Dean tastefully ignored it.

They were waiting for Sam to return with dinner, and Lilly was getting incredibly impatient. Dean was hungry, but he found Lilly's frustration too amusing to hurry his little brother.

It had been two weeks since they learned Lilly was pregnant. They'd lived in the hotel, eating takeout and Pop Tarts. There had been no fighting, only light-hearted quarreling when Lilly wanted something. Dean was enjoying himself, as were the others.

But deep down, he felt a small twinge; something missing.

He wanted to hunt.

At his core, Dean Winchester was a fighter. He loved the thrill, the exhilaration, the danger- even the killing. He didn't know what kind of man that made him, but he knew he couldn't change it, and didn't really want to.

And he knew Lilly felt the same way.

When he looked in her eyes, particularly late at night, he knew she felt caged. She was craving the open road, ready to be on the trail of another monster. But they shared a common trepidation; now there was a third party involved, one whose safety depended directly on that of its parents. They both worried, without having to say it, that a return to hunting would result in harm for their unborn child.

Lilly stared out the window into the dark night. Dean followed her gaze. It was times like this- when her face was wistful and longing- that he knew they felt the same way.

He moved closer, sitting next to her on the bed.

"We won't be here forever, you know," he said quietly.

Lilly turned toward him, her eyes steely and her posture defiant. When Dean put an arm around her waist, she softened slightly, smiling briefly. "I know that."

Dean poked her stomach gently. "We can always leave you in the car for moral support. And Band-Aids." He joked, grinning.

Lilly rolled her eyes and smirked back, but her expression was still tense. "You usually need a lot more than a Band-Aid…" her voice trailed off.

Tightening his arms around her, Dean leaned in. "I may need ice and stitches and lots of whiskey, but nothing we can't fix. I promise."

Lilly's eyebrows raised, but she didn't press the issue. Dean hoped it was a promise he could keep.

After another week in Memphis, they were all ready to leave. On Bobby's advice, they headed for Mississippi, where there were several potential cases. The closest, at first glance, seemed like a haunting. Though Dean wouldn't admit it, he didn't want to take on anything too serious. Luckily, even though Lilly had caught on, she wasn't protesting.

Too much.

"Why can't I kill anything?" Lilly asked from the backseat, where she was laying on her back and tossing something repeatedly in the air.

"Does that even require an answer?" Dean replied. He realized Lilly was throwing a bullet and suppressed a laugh.

"Yes. That's why I asked."

"Lil, I'm not letting you put my niece in danger." Sam joined the conversation and Dean fist-bumped him.

Lilly sat up, propping herself on an elbow. "Wait, niece? How do know?"

"Castiel told me. And I'm always right." Dean lied.

"Right," Lilly snorted. "You're wrong on this one, Dean."

"How do you know, Dr. Winchester?" He countered.

Lilly raised her eyebrows; Dean realized his mistake.

"Shut up."

She laughed and patted her stomach. "Think what you want; but I'll bet you twenty bucks it's a boy."

Dean glanced at Lilly in the rearview. "You want to bet on my child?"

Lilly just winked.

Dean shook his head and turned his attention to his brother. "Tell me what we got."

"Uh, yeah, husband and wife moved into a new house with their baby, and strange things started happening about a week after they moved in. Lights flickering, stuff going missing or not being where they left it, strange sounds. The usual." Sam said. "It shouldn't be too-"

"Ah, shut up, Sam!" Dean said. "The minute you say 'it shouldn't be too bad' is the minute it becomes a monumental pain in my ass. So shut it." He shook a finger at Sam to emphasize his point. Sam held his hands up in defense and remained silent.

"You know what else will be a monumental pain in your ass?" Lilly's face appeared in the rearview mirror. "Me. If you make me sit in this damn car while you two get to kill things."

Dean gave her a longsuffering look. She smirked back.

"You can keep your gun." He said.

Lilly gaped. "Thank you so much. I relish the opportunity to participate." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Take it or leave it, princess," Dean said, grinning at her.

She smiled back. There was a hunger and excitement in her eyes that Dean loved. She fed off the thrill of the chase just as he did, and there was no one he'd rather have beside him on a hunt than a sexy woman who was ready to kill something.

Dean drove faster.


	50. Chapter 50

_A/N: So, I suck at updating and I'm sooo sorry. Have I mentioned college kicks your ass? Because it does. Anyway, sorry for the insane wait, and I haven't given up! Reviews are appreciated, as always._

**Chapter Fifty**

The drive to Mississippi went faster than they expected, but it was late in the evening when Lilly pulled up to the motel they'd chosen for the night. Dean had only let her drive to keep her quiet, once she'd pointed out that it was the only thing she would be allowed to do for the foreseeable future.

The three of them sat in Sam's room, next to Dean and Lilly's, looking over the information they on their current case. Only one person had died, but the circumstances were suspicious enough that Dean felt certain it was a spirit. An older man who lived with his wife had been strangled, and the wife noted that there had been strange occurrences in the week leading up to his death. Things weren't where they had been left, and they'd both received phone calls with no one on the other end.

"What do you say we go up there tomorrow and poke around, maybe ask the old lady some questions, while Lilly checks out the library for clues on who the spirit was?" Dean asked Sam.

Lilly snorted. "Really? Library duty? Come on, I can at least handle going to ask some questions." She said, looking at Sam for help. He held his hands up and said nothing.

"Lilly," Dean said patiently, "I'm not risking you being around this thing. What if it comes out of nowhere, mad that we're trying to stop it?"

"Yes, because that often happens in broad daylight," Lilly snapped. "Using that logic, I shouldn't go to the library either in case someone decides to set it on fire."

"Fine," Dean countered, "You can stay here and work from the computer."

Lilly slammed a hand down on the table. "Dammit, Dean, that's not what I meant!"

Sam jumped in. "Dean, don't you think that's a little extreme?" He asked. "I'm sure she can handle coming with us to ask a few questions. But-" he added, turning to Lilly, "you are not allowed to come with us when we do anything dangerous."

Pouting, Lilly crossed her arms. "I know what I can handle," she said. "Do you really think I'd risk my child if I had any doubt I could?" As she spoke, her hand came to rest on her stomach, even though she showed no sign of pregnancy yet.

Dean scooted back from the table. "Whatever, I'm going to bed." He stood. "You coming?"

Lilly stood as well, pushing in her chair behind her. "Goodnight, Sam," she said.

"Night, guys." Sam responded, walking them to the door.

Back in their own room, Lilly sat down to untie her shoes as Dean pulled off his shirt and headed for the shower. She heard the water come on, and laid back in the bed.

It had been almost a month, and her wounds still ached. Most were covered in itchy scabs that she resisted the urge to pick at. The worst of her bruises were fading to green and yellow, which, in her opinion, was even less appealing than the blue and purple they'd been at first. The majority of the pain, however, was how much her wounds held her back. She hadn't been able to move properly, or sleep comfortably, or worst of all, be with Dean the way she wanted. Ever since she'd learned she was carrying _his _child, she'd wanted nothing more than to repeat their steamy night in the Impala. But she knew her body, and she knew it would be agony.

The sound of the shower turning off startled Lilly out of her thoughts. She turned towards the bathroom, and saw Dean step out on a roll of steam with only a towel wrapped around his waist. As she let her eyes wander over him, she felt a familiar pang below her navel and bit her lip.

"Take a picture; it'll last longer," Dean joked. Lilly blushed.

"Am I that obvious?"

He chuckled. "I gotta say, Miss Winchester, I've never had a woman look at me like that before."

She rolled her eyes as she stood as began to get undressed for bed. "I'm sure," she said sarcastically. When she turned back around, Dean had paused in drying himself and was staring at her body hungrily. "Now who's looking?"

The desire evident in his eyes, Dean moved toward her slowly. There was something primal in his body language as he knelt on bed in front of her and pulled off the rest of her clothes, letting the towel drop from his waist in the process. Lilly realized this was the first time they'd seen each other fully undressed since the night in the Impala, and she bit her lip again.

From where Dean knelt in front of her he was still close to his full height, and had to duck to lock his mouth to her shoulder, her collarbone, her breast. Lilly whimpered in pleasure, but Dean mistook it for pain. He instantly stopped and ran his hands over her cheeks, the hunger fading from his gaze as he searched her face for the source of the pain.

Instead, he saw his own desire reflected back at him.

Lilly turned off the bedside lamp and pushed Dean backwards, kneeling in front of him. His arms slowly curved around her waist, pulling her toward him. She was briefly taken aback when she felt him pressing against her stomach, but began kissing him anyway. It was tentative at first, then furious as they made up for lost time.

Without thinking, Dean pushed Lilly back on the bed underneath him.

She faltered only a second, but he noticed and pulled back, even though his face was twisted with desire.

"I'm sorry, I-" he stuttered, running a hand over his face. "I didn't think, I just…" he was at a loss for words. The raw passion in his eyes was obvious to Lilly, and she could tell he was holding himself back. He met her eyes, his burning. "I want you," he said, his voice gravelly.

Lilly reached up and touched his face. "Trust me, I know," she whispered. "I want you too…" her voice trailed off. "I just don't think I'm ready," she finished. Dean looked hurt. "Physically, I mean. I think I still need some time for everything to heal and go back to normal," she added quickly.

Dean nodded, stroking her cheek. "Take your time, princess," he said softly. He leaned closer, letting his breath tickle her neck and his lips graze her ear. "But the moment you're ready, I'm going to take you right then and there." He pulled back with a smirk.

Lilly's face was unreadable, and for a moment, Dean felt stupid and piggish. "Sorry if that's too much," he said regretfully.

"No," Lilly managed to squeak, and Dean realized her hand was clenching the sheets. Sensing her arousal, he nipped at her neck gently. Lilly moaned.

"Too much, princess?" He asked from the curve of her neck, gently sucking the skin there. The soft sound Lilly made was answer enough. "Alright, time for bed," Dean said, flopping down on the mattress. Lilly remained sitting up, frozen.

"Something wrong?" Dean asked playfully. She turned her gaze toward him, and the way she looked at him made him squirm in the best way possible. She quickly straddled him and nibbled his earlobe without saying a thing. "Lilly, seriously, we don't have to…"

Her finger on his lips silenced him. Delicately, she kissed her way down his chest, stopping just below his navel.

"You know," she said casually, "I find that some parts of my body sustained no damage at all." She touched her fingers to her lips, and her meaning wasn't lost on Dean. "What do you think?" She smirked at him.

"Umm, I think… uhh…" Dean struggled for thought as Lilly's trail of kisses traveled lower. "Who the hell cares what I think? You're the brains in this relationship."


End file.
